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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Three children found dead

379 replies

RedandChecker · 23/04/2014 10:23

m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-27122410

Very, very sad Sad

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 24/04/2014 20:35

I think I am reading a different thread to some people.

Bowlersarm · 24/04/2014 20:36

fideline you're right. I committed the MN cardinal sin-allowed myself to be goaded. Grrrr. Sorry, end of slight derail.

shakinstevenslovechild · 24/04/2014 20:37

Thank you to everyone for your kind words and to all who have shared their compassionate views and devestating losses Thanks

Anti, are you aware what dying from SMA is like?

My daughters ribs were like pieces of string, they were so thin, some were actually broken, along with her leg, which had been broken in pregnancy and had reset the wrong way, her arm and hand had also been broken, her other hand had been broken in pregnancy and had set incorrectly too, she had to be ventilated within minutes of birth, she wasn't strong enough to breathe by herself, her muscles weren't working at all.

The ventilator caused an infection which built up fluid in and around her lungs, which put additional pressure on her ribs and heart.
She was so tiny she couldn't have much pain relief at all and I could see from the machines that she was distressed and in pain all the time.

Are you aware how terrifying that is?

Do you know, and I realise how awful this makes me sound,I felt jealous of the mother and baby across from us because her baby had complications that left the poor child completely unaware of anything. Can you imagine being driven to feeling jealous of someone because their baby can't feel anything at all?

I don't know how else I can explain how fucking awful this conditon is. To know your child is trapped in a useless, painful body, that will only get worse, but they have a fully functioning mind and are aware of everything, to be unable to comfort your child because to cuddle them would cause greater pain, possibly even break a bone. It is cruel and devestating condition that only gets worse as time goes on.

I don't suppose sharing the pain my daughter suffered and the heartache and guilt I face every day will make a tiny bit of difference to the posters determined to condemn this Mother so I'm not really sure why I'm trying really Sad

Mignonette · 24/04/2014 20:37

Oh yes you are.

By implying that allegedly ending the life of a severely disabled child is somehow more worthy of being 'understood' and 'accepted' you are making a value judgement.

And the comments about the supposed life led by these children with the severest forms of this illness are full of judgement about the perceived 'value' of this life in its apparent pain filled hopelessness.

And the bickering is despicable. You should all be bloody ashamed of yourselves.

I'm off.

everlong · 24/04/2014 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

handcream · 24/04/2014 20:38

You look foolish tbh. Making snide comments about education choices is not for this thread.

I don't hold your views but there was no need to bring my children into it. I wouldn't dream of trawling other threads and trying to score points.

MorrisZapp · 24/04/2014 20:40

Could somebody please enlighten me as to the relevance of a poster sending their child to boarding school on a thread about three children dying at the hands of their mother.

Bowlersarm · 24/04/2014 20:41

shakin another lovely post. So heartbreaking.

Guitargirl · 24/04/2014 20:42

There are parts of this thread which really show MN at its worst.

Three small children have died. Their mother has been charged with three murders. The whole thing is bloody horrendous for all concerned.

Some posters have shared the experiences of their children and their families which are beyond what anyone should be expected to live through and come out the other side of.

And some of you are wittering on and having a go at each other about boarding schools ffs.

threedeer · 24/04/2014 20:43

shakin your experience comes closest to that of the mother. People would be wise to listen to you.

handcream · 24/04/2014 20:43

What is telling about it?

antiabz · 24/04/2014 20:43

Shaking I'm afraid you don't have to explain it to me, I know all too well.

And I stand by my comments,

I'm going to have to hide this thread now as it's making me feel ill.

handcream · 24/04/2014 20:45

Morris - I am wondering that too.....What on earth is Bowler thinking of bringing up boarding schools is beyond me and saying it's telling is even more baffling.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 24/04/2014 20:45

If people are making low blows it's because this thread is very sensitive to them and they are upset.

Probably best to move on.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 24/04/2014 20:49

Mignonette.the people showing compassion are mostly those with disabled children.

So with respect your argument holds no water.

MorrisZapp · 24/04/2014 20:50

Sounds like a cop out to me. Make the charge or just don't mention it. Having a go at another parents choices on a thread about the most difficult choice of all seems to me to be in extremely bad taste.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 24/04/2014 20:52

It is. But people say things when upset.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 24/04/2014 20:54

I am a crap dove of peace.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 24/04/2014 20:55

This thread should really just be to express sympathy for everyone affected really.

fidelineish · 24/04/2014 20:55

You are a lovely and apparently pretty effective pigeon of peace Fanjo Smile

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 24/04/2014 20:56

:)

fidelineish · 24/04/2014 20:56

This thread should really just be to express sympathy for everyone affected really.

YY

everlong · 24/04/2014 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

handcream · 24/04/2014 20:59

I agree -fab dove of peace.

HeartStarCircleSquare · 24/04/2014 21:01

No one is sympathizing because she took the lives of children with special needs ... THey are sympathizing with a mother who would have had to watch their children die horrifically painful deaths. No one wants to end their life that way. No one. Adults sometimes when legally given options may choose to not end their lives out of duty to family, but a child has no duty to their family. I think the mother did what she felt was right.

shakin I am so sorry for what you had to go through Thanks to you and your baby daughter and thank you for sharing your story to give us all a (tiny) bit of perspective.

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