Three children found dead

[RedandChecker]

m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-27122410

Very, very sad

[PfftTheMagicDraco]

There's an awful lot of speculation on this thread. What she must have been feeling. What life must have been like for her. Why she chose to do what she did. And then emotions based on that speculation, as if it's fact.

I feel sadness for the family. But we don't know anything. To assume she chose to end the lives of her children because their lives were limited/she wasn't in a fit mental state/she was exhausted/etc etc, is just all speculation. And then a bunfight erupts. And not even over facts.

[Hailtotheking]

TheSporkforeatingkyriarchy what a sad post.
thank you for sharing it.
I was shocked that the mother is going down the diminished responsibility route.
I wish the murder of disabled people was taken more seriously.

[Icimoi]

Amen, presumably that is the latest. The fact that the mother has pleaded guilty to manslaughter but there is still going to be a trial suggests that the prosecution are still trying for a murder conviction.

[TheSporkforeatingkyriarchy]

emtee88 Thank you for your contribution.

I am a disabled adult and most of my childhood was spent surrounded by similar misconceptions and thinking I wasn't going to live to see adulthood - I didn't think my disabilities would get me, but the adults around me. I recall all the ableist comments about how unfortunate my parents are, how much better off I would be in heaven, hearing my mother rage that if I loved her, I would jump from my bedroom window and make her life so much easier. I spent years staring at the light around my door crying thinking tonight would the night. I know they tried. I know I suffered far more violence and neglect than either of my able-bodied siblings. I sometimes still get surprised that I survived this long. Having my own disabled children has just make me more sickened by what they and others still think of us and our lives.

Being a parent of disabled people doesn't make one a long suffering saint, being disabled doesn't mean one is a tragedy. The reporting around this and similar stories of disabled children and people being murdered by their parents only fuels more violence and oppression against disabled people. The media should put to task about how their horrible reporting and desire for sensationalism is hurting people. It's not helping the other loved ones mourn, it isn't helping people understand anything, it's ableist sensationalistic media misrepresentation.

[duchesse]

This is a dreadful tragedy for everyone involved. My heart goes out to everyone including the mother. I would not to walk a mile in the shoes of anyone in this event.

[AmenGirl]

Is this the official update then?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-28194876

[emtee88]

For anyone thinking a SMA Type 2 or 3 diagnosis means early death, suffering and misery for all(this is the way recent press reports have said) then this gallery here might correct those misconceptions. :)

[emtee88]

No, the children had Type 2. Type 1 would mean they'd die around 18 months and the kids were aged 3 and 4. Unfortunately the press surrounding this case has focused on Type 1 meaning Type 2 cases are ignored, and it's quite a different condition to the terminal Type 1.

[TheApprentice]

SDTG - I apologise - thought they had type 2. I feel real sadness for this family anyhow - what a terrible story.

[cestlavielife]

the most severe form of SMA they don't survive beyond one year usually. this was not the most severe form by definition - unless a variant of SMA 1 .

she now been detained under Mental health act - which indicates I think that however much one can empathise and understand how hard it is, you have to be out of your mind/of unsound mind/going thru some kind of MH episode to go ahead and kill children....

there are always other options: eg walk away and call 999 for them to be taken to hospital/hospice/foster care etc.

[JessicaMary]

I am sure most parents feel lots of sympathy for her, to be driven to that. It can't have been premeditated either otherwise presumably she could have flown them to South Africa, gone into a neighbouring African state, staged some kind of car crash and no one would have been any the wiser and then she carries on life with the one older child and has new babies who are subject to genetic testing before birth. She didn't do any of that. instead she was driven to desperation.

I understand the children were likely to die by age 5 anyway getting in more and more pain. She probably also did it out of love for them.

However the law is the law.
It must be terrible what the family is going through.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

TheApprentice - if I have understood correctly, there are different degrees of this condition, and the three children in this case had the most severe form, where there was no chance of them surviving early childhood. I can't imagine a mother doing what she did, if there was a chance of her children living into adulthood, with reasonable quality of life.

[frumpet]

Actually the bit about not imagining the dark place isnt entirely true , for a few long months i was convinced that the world would be a better place without me , but that i would have to take my youngest child with me as there was no-one else who could care for him . I sought help and got it thank God .

[frumpet]

If you kill someone , unless it is obvious that you were doing so out of self defence (unlikely in this instance ) then i imagine you would be arrested for murder , regardless of the circumstances . It is up to the court and a jury to decide whether it was in fact murder as opposed to manslaughter . This is in my opinion the right way to go about things .

I do feel immense sympathy for all the family , the mother included at this point , simply because i cannot imagine the dark place you must be in to commit such an act .

As a nurse however , i do think that some people on this thread have a rose tinted view of death . Whilst it is absolutely our aim to ensure everyone has a 'good' death , sometimes this is virtually impossible and whilst i have no sick childrens nursing experience , i am fairly sure they have no magic drugs available to them that are not available to adult nurses .

handcream i dont think your education choices for your own children have any relevance on this thread , i imagine that you didn't send them to boarding school from birth ?

[rosielea]

I feel so much sadness for this family. My own DD1 has profound physical disabilities (cerebral palsy), i cannot imagine giving the level of care that we do for her x 3. Most of the time we are mentally and physically exhausted. We love her so much and would do anything for her but this is a very hard life.
My thoughts are with every member of the family.x

[MmeMorrible]

Some posters seem to have had an empathy bypass. Can you really not try to imagine that life for some people is not as easy and rose tinted as yours?

[UnderthePalms]

Agreed Nursey

[TheApprentice]

Emtee's post has really resonated with me. I taught a little girl with SMA (think it was type 2) some years ago - she's in her late 20s now. There's no doubt that her life was hard in many ways - sometimes she was in pain and her Mum spent lots of time doing physio exercises with her etc - I can imagine that if you had to do that times three it would be exhausting. But, despite her disabilities, she had a fulfilling and interesting life as a child. I have thought about her lots since this tragic case - about what the experience of teaching her brought to me, and about the quality of life she was able to have (and hopefully still has). I can only have sympathy for the mother of these 3 children whose circumstances I know very little of and who must, I imagine, have been in a terrible place; however, its so upsetting to think of those three little people denied their chance to live and grow.

[NurseyWursey]

Her friend probably wanted to explain how damn hard the woman's life was to prevent people from vilifying her like they have been doing.

We are not just guessing though are we? When you get bits of the bigger picture you can put together an idea of what the woman's life was actually like. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realise it was very very hard to live as she has.

[Joules68]

What are her 'friend' doing speaking to journalists?

Truth is nursey you are just guessing. We all are

[NurseyWursey]

I really don't see how the children's disability can be a red herring. It would have had a MASSIVE impact on the woman's psychological well being.

And it was actually her friend who spoke out about the medication hourly.

[Joules68]

under you have no way of knowing that, none at all. Those judging her are just as likely to be correct

It may have been done for a different reason.... The children's Disibility may be a red herring here and have little to do with it. Life throws us all sorts of curveballs. Look at other parents who have done this kind of thing. Quite a few have been at the time of a marital breakdown

[NurseyWursey]

I too read the needed medication every hour. How on earth did she cope for so long. Dear god.

[UnderthePalms]

I too read that she had to give them food and medication every hour. It makes no sense to talk about what she did as if it was a cool, calm, cold blooded decision as some on the thread who have judged her have done.

[PeachyTheSanctiMoanyArse]

Icimoi :(

I doubt the word exhaustion even touches it, and sleep deprivation does so much harm.