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Original poster

For all of you who don't understand the disgust with the Daily Mail...

853 replies

Spero · 02/01/2014 17:57

I have just been told they have published an article about John Hemming in which they name me. Both my real name and my user name.

Luckily for me I don't care. Luckily for me I decided long ago I would never put anything on line that I would be ashamed/upset/frightened for anyone else to read.

But for lots of people this would be a complete and utter disaster. People post really personal and sensitive stuff on this site about the worst times of their lives, looking for help and support. They must know that.

Note that they never bothered contacting me to find out which category I fell into.

So if anyone wants to start another wide eyed innocent thread - o I just don't understand why you all hate the Daily Mail so much!

Does this kind of thing help you understand a little more?

I will link to the scum bags but only because I hope people might leave some 'helpful' comments about JH.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2532649/MP-John-Hemming-banned-Mumsnet-posting-Italian-woman-forced-courts-caesarean.html?ITO=1490&ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490

OP posts:
Devora · 02/01/2014 23:59

Spero, it's really good to see the support you're getting on this thread. Some of the posters on here might not realise that there is a long history trailing this, with JH regularly popping up on the adoption board to goad and insult the adoptive parents there. You have been tireless and courageous in standing up to him and I really hope MNetters will now be equally tireless in standing up for you.

I am appalled at how the DM have outed you. But I am also dismayed at how the media coverage has downplayed two other important dimensions. One is that it has been reported as though JH named the mother, whereas the issue is of course that he outed her three children. The other is that it is not made clear that he maliciously outed you, having made threats to other MNetters in the past (including the infamous one to Maryz). In this context, this is really serious. Some of us who have locked horns with JH could be put at significant risk if our real identities were revealed to birth families.

nennypops · 03/01/2014 00:07

I hope people are n't put off posting by this. I was easy to find as I had already 'outed' myself - but remember he also tried to out three others, that is when MNHQ finally pulled the plug on him. I think one of the three didn't care but I don't know about the other two.

I was involved in that thread and I certainly read his post as an implied threat to everyone disagreeing with him that he could track us down and out us. In my case it didn't put me off because (a) it mostly made me angry and (b) it wouldn't hurt me - if anything my employers would applaud me. But I can see that if I was vulnerable in any way it could have got me very worried indeed.

CarpeVinum · 03/01/2014 00:19

I don't care that he outed my name. Spero

But I do care about the intimadatory air/aim behind the outing ... considering he is in charge of a lot of people's lives.

Wealthy and powerful.

That is a bad combo in the hands of the wrong person.

I should know. Black May '92 BKK happened outside my front door, I lived for years under Berlusconi, and things haven't got much better since he was "deposed".

The stakes are too high for a "buffoon" image to be permitted to lull people into a false sense of secutirty. Not for what he may or may not do i n the future. But for the message it sends to the rest of them and the future them. They need to know that there is still the impetus to demand high political standards of conduct and the detemination to ensure they are unheld.

Or everybody is fucked. For good.

Becuase it is too late once the tipping point has been reached and overtaken.

WestmorlandSausage · 03/01/2014 00:24

I was one of the three he tried to out (he failed - I used my rather unused blogger twitter account rather one in my own name) and I would have really cared at the time if he had succeeded as I know people who use MN that at this point in time I wouldn't want them to know i'm on here - but now I'm half tempted to out myself anyway because I'm so proud of what we have achieved!

I'm not entirely sure what the point of him doing it was other that try and intimidate us into stopping. Unfortunately it just made me even more determined not to let him get away with it. Backfired on him really.

perfectstorm · 03/01/2014 00:25

Some of the posters on here might not realise that there is a long history trailing this, with JH regularly popping up on the adoption board to goad and insult the adoptive parents there.

I had no idea about that, and it's disgusting.

I appreciate people are probably too busy, but if there were a "collated times he's been appalling" post online somewhere, I would very much like to read it. It would aid my efforts with my MP somewhat in terms of his bringing Parliament in general and the party in particular into disrepute.

I'm not sure why he seems to think children are the possessions of their parents, but it's disturbing. He doesn't seem to care about children's needs and rights at all.

WestmorlandSausage · 03/01/2014 00:26

Has anyone noticed that the Lib Dems have been VERY quiet about this.

CarpeVinum · 03/01/2014 00:38

West

Yup. Letting him dig his own grave, or hoping it will blow over ?

He has to be de-selected surely ? Even if they don't have the stomach for a byelection, or have him keep the seat for now as an independant.

LimeJellyforBrains · 03/01/2014 01:04

From the LibDem website, from the page How to Make a Complaint about a Liberal Democrat Member :

"As a Member of the Liberal Democrats, you must treat others with respect and must not bully, harass or intimidate any Party member, member of Party staff, member of Parliamentary staff, Party volunteer or member of the public. Such behaviour will be considered to be bringing the Party into disrepute. Art. 3.1(b), Federal Constitution of the Liberal Democrats"

CarpeVinum · 03/01/2014 01:11

Now there's Link that could do with good work out Lime

ArgumentsatChristmas · 03/01/2014 01:20

Thanks spero

This is absolutely awful for you. I can only imagine how wound up and unhappy you feel. Might it be an idea to let it go? Just avoid John Hemming and his ilk and just walk away?

BillyBanter · 03/01/2014 01:25

Good find lime.

CustardoPaidforIDSsYFronts · 03/01/2014 01:39

crikey - not opening thelink becuase i fucking hate the mail

fuckers

if a letter of complaint is drafted - i'll tweek and send a complaint

CleoBrown · 03/01/2014 02:01

De-lurking to say I will send a letter if you can PM or send me one, this has really shocked me and I can't believe he can get away with it. Anything I can do x

GoshAnneGorilla · 03/01/2014 02:15

Utterly vile of the DM to this without consulting you, particularly as you've pointed out, no other paper felt the need to name people. The way the DM has insisted on describing the case in question makes their agenda perfectly clear.

Like many others, I've really admired your persistence in countering JH. He is an extremely dangerous man, lurking behind the facade of a buffoon.

thekitchenfairy · 03/01/2014 04:37

Spero If you were to draft a letter, I would be happy to tweak it and send it on to my admittedly bloody useless MP along with my letter asking wtaf she voted against the foodbank debate.

and also I had no idea, no bloody idea, just how vile JH had been on here for such a long time. Its not just vile its despicable to intimidate and threaten women but to use his position to add weight to his threats surely goes against everything a site such as this is about?

I know I am a bit late to the party but you lot are bloody amazing for what you've done, checking out your site stuff thread now maryz.

ThatVikRinA22 · 03/01/2014 04:58

crap that you were outed spero but at least this idiot hit the headlines. im very surprised that the lib dems are keeping so quiet on this.
take heart in the fact that they have dug their own graves so deeply that they wont get a bloody whiff of a look in at the next election.....

you have acted with integrity through out. more than can be said for JH.

SantasPelvicFloor · 03/01/2014 08:34

I too am pretty disgusted that the Lib Dem party are trying to ignore JH's behaviour. They obviously condone it

WestmorlandSausage · 03/01/2014 08:43

I think you've missed the point ArgumentsatChristmas

CrispyHedgeHogmanay · 03/01/2014 08:51

Fucking disgraceful behaviour, surely JH should face some kind of disciplinary?

I'm also happy to send a letter if someone gives me a sort of template.

Flowers for all of you who've fought so hard and been treated so abysmally

navada · 03/01/2014 08:57

Op: if you're naming yourself on here ( back in 2009 ), do you really have an argument?

Sorry, I'm not a lawyer but just saying.

Original poster
Spero · 03/01/2014 09:44

Navada - the point I have made about three times now and I will make it again...

As an individual, I don't care. I have indeed outed myself before because I think this is a very important debate and I wanted people to know that I stood by what I have said.

But it is the principle of naming someone by both their personal and their user name in a national newspaper that is so abhorrent.

The DM did not check with me that I was ok with that.

A lot of people would be very far from ok with that.

A lot of people put a lot of very personal stuff on this site because they need and want help.

If the DM's actions have dissuaded anyone from posting or is making anyone frightened right now they might be 'outed', I think that is appalling.

What possible reason or justification or relevance to the story was there to give both my names in this story?

I am afraid I think it smacks of intimidation again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Spero · 03/01/2014 09:47

ArgumentsatChristmas

I am not 'wound up' to an unhealthy degree. Or at least I don't think so. Others may of course be entitled to their opinion!

I am angry and upset that an elected politician can behave in this way.

I am very sad and sorry for all the people he has 'advised' so dangerously.

I can only hope that children have not suffered because of it, but I suspect they have.

I am not walking away from this and nor should anyone would half a brain or any conscience at all.

Child protection is the business and the responsibility of us all. That this man is a champion for vulnerable women and children is chilling.

OP posts:
Original poster
Spero · 03/01/2014 09:51

sorry with half a brain.

and it is not just my wonderful noble integrity that keeps me in the ring.

I can't walk away. This is my job. I have to represent people every day who are reading stuff out to me from the FASSIT websites, who are telling me their baby was 'stolen' to order.

and meanwhile children die at the hands of their parents, some of whom were probably too frightened to seek help for their mental health problems, for their abusive partners, because of the appalling and dangerous 'advice' of men like John Hemming.

Ok, better go and have breakfast now or complaints that I am wound up may take on greater truth.

OP posts:
hackmum · 03/01/2014 09:53

What the DM did was ethically reprehensible (no surprise there) but not illegal. Even if JH hadn't already named Spero, it wouldn't have been illegal (there is no right in law protecting your anonymity on the internet), but the DM can now also say, with some justification, "Well, her name was already out there."

I am surprised at JH posting court documents on the site. You would think an MP would know better.

LostInWales · 03/01/2014 10:08

Well said Spero, well said. I am very happy that there are people out there like you looking after the vulnerable and giving them good advice.