Gay parents the new norm?

[yummymummy345]

Is it just me? but I do not entirely relish the idea of same sex couples being parents and thus becoming the norm. Watching Channel 4 news, they are highlighting books aimed at children with same sex couples instead of the traditional man/woman combo. I'm really not trying to offend anyone but I think men and women are generally different and so offer different things to a child, can 2 women or 2 men offer the same? I know 2 women/men would love that child just as much but is it all about love and security and thats it?

Gay marriage in the news also is looking to change our culture to make it the norm although I dont understand why civl partnership which affords the same rights? is not enough? A church marriage is for 2 people to procreate (if possible) so why does this all need to be changed?

I am interested on peoples opinions these are obviously just mine but would like to add I am not religious or homophobic .

[Spoonful]

We might actually all turn gay you know.

I had two friends growing up. One had a mother who was a lesbian, the other had a mother who later decided she was also a lesbian. They both conceived my friends in heterosexual marriages, then -permanently- changed their minds. Both still lesbians now.

There is time for all of us yet.

[Devora]

Today I took my children to the Alternative Fairytales, Alternative Families event that was filmed for the Channel 4 news feature on gay parents. It was a bit chaotic, a bit too hot, a bit straight outta Stoke Newington, but I can't tell you how lovely it was for my kids (especially the older one) to be in a hall full of other children with two mums or two dads. (Or, in the case of my niece who was also there, three dads - and her parents are heterosexual.) They very very rarely meet other children in their situation, so OP can rest assured that we are unlikely to be 'the new normal' anytime soon.

I came home reflecting on how very much I did that for the kids, not for me. Motherhood has almost obliterated my lesbian identity as something distinctive - I am just so much like every other knackered working mother I know. I never go out in the evenings and most nights the only female to share my bed is 3 years old. Me and dp talk about childcare arrangements, dental appointments, sleep habits and how one of these days we must start trying to get a bit of a social life back, or even just time to talk to each other about anything other than the children.

And then threads like this remind me how some people still do see lesbian and gay people as very, very different. So of course there must be something imbalanced in our parenting, or our motives (children as lifestyle accessory? Don't make me laugh - before children I used to live in Kensington, go to the latest restaurants and shop in Harvey Nichols. Now I live in the burbs, buy the kids clothes in H&M - almost never buy clothes for myself - and go to the Wimpy occasionally.)

We're on the right side of history, though. I don't know what the parents at the school gate say behind my back, but they've been unfailingly courteous and friendly to my face. And MN always demonstrates how most people are fair and decent and the new 'common sense' is that the quality of your parenting bears little relation to your sexual orientation.

[yummymummy345]

For the record my mum is a single parent I had a wonderful upbringing.

I have not said gay couples should not have children, I am putting a view out there that I am not sure it s the best thing for the child.

However, I am genuinely heartened that a child who has been fostered has had a massive turnaround by a gay couple. Perhaps rather than stating I am homophobic/shit parent/bigot etc stories like this will challenge peoples viewpoints like mine and serve a better purpose?

[Booyhoo]

OP

would you have a problem with a single gay person raising a child?

[nancy75]

How many feel good stories do you need to change your mind op?
I would have thought it reasonably obvious that it's better for a child to live in a loving home with any variety of parent than to be in care?

[BIWI]

"I have not said gay couples should not have children, I am putting a view out there that I am not sure it s the best thing for the child. "

Based on what, OP?

[MajaBiene]

Maybe you would have been better off raised by a male/female couple then OP?

[HairyHandedTrucker]

so you start a thread based on no evidence that will hurt people just because you fancied it?

[waltermittymissus]

There's a child in dd's school who has two mums.

I've told dd to stay away from her because, ya know, if one parent hasn't got a todger who the fuck knows what way she'll turn out?!

[HairyHandedTrucker]

it is not the job of the world to educate you op. do some research rather than start offensive threads

[yummymummy345]

Really no offence intended.

opinions sought really rather than an education HHT.

And yes it is absolutely common sense that a fostered child would do amzingly well raised by 2 parents who cared and loved (gay or straight) rather than parents who didnt give a shit. (I guess there is nothing else other than love and security) So perhaps this answers my op

[Booyhoo]

op do you have a problem with a single gay person raising a child/children?

[Tortington]

really dont understand why sexually has anything to do with giving a child a safe secure loving home.

honest to betsy don't understand the correlation.

[yummymummy345]

Booyhoo As I say my mum was a single parent, I have no qualms surrounding my upbringing but for anyone to make that choice- I am not sure it is in the best interests of the child -gay or straight. You asked my opinion... So chastise me.

[Booyhoo]

so you have no problem with a gay person parenting aslong as they aren't doing it with the support of a loving partner?

do you think single gay parents do a better or worse job at raising children than gay parents who raise children together in a 2 parent family?

[BIWI]

"I am not sure it is in the best interests of the child -gay or straight. You asked my opinion... So chastise me."

I'm not interested in chastising you. But I do want to know on what basis you form this opinion. Although you keep ignoring this ...

[PelvicFloorClenchReminder]

Oh OP, you bonus feature.

[SchnitzelVonKrumm]

What are you on about?

[SchnitzelVonKrumm]

OP I mean

[TheYamiOfYawn]

OP, do you really think that same-sex couples raising children together is some new-fangled thing? It's been going on for as long as different-sex parenting.

[breatheslowly]

You have explained that by "norm" you mean "accepted part of our culture". Wouldn't it be lovely if all families felt that they are an accepted part of our culture, given that the different types of family exist at present and will continue to anyway? Why would you want families to be stigmatised?

Your OP focuses on church marriage, but you have not mentioned that same sex couples are not able to have civil marriage ceremonies either. Are these acceptable to you?

[KobayashiMaru]

I'm not sure its in the best interests of children to be raised by bigoted idiots, but hey, no-one got to publicly debate whether you could pop a few out OP, did they?

[Valpollicella]

A child growing up with parents, regardless of gender and sexual orientation, who love and cherish and care for them.

What the actual fuck is detrimental to the best interests of the child in that situation OP? Seriously?

Or as someone else has said up thread, what if a woman who is a lesbian has a child as a single parent? Is that 'not in the best interests of the child'? What happens then? Is that ok with you and your bigoted views

Who would deny any child a safe and loving childhood, regardless of who their parent were?