Gay parents the new norm?

[yummymummy345]

Is it just me? but I do not entirely relish the idea of same sex couples being parents and thus becoming the norm. Watching Channel 4 news, they are highlighting books aimed at children with same sex couples instead of the traditional man/woman combo. I'm really not trying to offend anyone but I think men and women are generally different and so offer different things to a child, can 2 women or 2 men offer the same? I know 2 women/men would love that child just as much but is it all about love and security and thats it?

Gay marriage in the news also is looking to change our culture to make it the norm although I dont understand why civl partnership which affords the same rights? is not enough? A church marriage is for 2 people to procreate (if possible) so why does this all need to be changed?

I am interested on peoples opinions these are obviously just mine but would like to add I am not religious or homophobic .

[BeCool]

What do you think is the "best thing for a child" OP? I take it by "a child" you mean a generic "every child" person.

I'm fascinated to learn what the best thing for this child is.

[BertieBotts]

I think we need to stop thinking that men and women are some fantastically different species and that children will miss out so hugely if they don't have someone of their "own" to look up to in the home.

Also, this? Although I wasn't comfortable with the new cultural change of acceptence. Is the saddest thing. What the hell is wrong with acceptance :( acceptance is a wonderful and beautiful thing.

[whethergirl]

I was raised by my dad. My mum was far too selfish to deal with the likes of me and was never there for me. My dad, on the other hand, bought me my first bra, consoled me when I started my period and sobbed about it, nursed me when I subsequently suffered from chronic period pains every month, came shopping with me when I was a teenager to buy new clothes etc.

That kind of blows your arguement of men and women offering different things out of the water, don't you think OP?

[yummymummy345]

Bertiebotts What like some cultures are happy to 'accept' Females are second class citizens? Just because it is accepted doesn't always mean it is right. Anyway If you read all of the thread, you will see I was more pondering and my view had little to do with actually whether someone is gay or not but more to do with roles in society. I agree- I hadn't portrayed this very well.

Whethergirl, I was always generalising about male and female roles, so your example doesn't blow anything out of the water as I believe your example is an execption to the rule.

[AmberSocks]

im not a fa of any organized religion,but i don't think they should be forced to allow gay couples to marry there,i don't think they should change their beliefs to get more members,and hopefully it will just make people realise how ridiculous the idea of religion is.

[cory]

What whethergirl's example showed was that a man was able to provide support traditionally more associated with the female role when it was required of him. Some of us may think, this is an exception because it is not so often required of a man. But does it not suggest that in an unconventional relationship where different things were required, parents might just rise to the situation? As whethergirl's dad did.

It is also a fact that the definition of male and female roles can change within a matter of generations. When I was a child in Sweden in the 60s, it was already quite common for men to change nappies, prepare family meals and take their children out. My dad did, but he was not unusual. The fact that it is still quite common 50 years later suggests that there was nothing "unnatural" or impossible about this shift of attitudes (which came about during the 50s and early 60s).

This was a shift of attitude that was primarily politically driven, but still worked to a great extent. In a same sex relationship, the motivation for change would be far, far greater, so why wouldn't that work?

[Cailleach]

In my family:

My sister is a scientist (geneticist) with a PHD. (BUT HARD SCIENCE = BOYS?!!!)
My brother is a dementia care nurse. (BUT CARING = GIRLS?!!!!)
My dad was a social worker for years*. (BUT CARING = GIRLS?!!!!)
My mum was a Maths professor. (BUT MATHS = BOYS?!!!)

My Mum (and me) do all the DIY and basic car maintenance. The men in the family haven't got a clue about this stuff.
My dad (and brother) does the cooking and most of the cleaning. They enjoy it, the women in the family hate it and consequently are shit at it.

Conclusion?
Gender roles are horseshit.

(* Before he became an EHO)

[ubik]

On the upside I saw an advert on the Glasgow subway today encouraging gay couples to come forward as potential adoptive families so attitudes like the op's are slowly changing for the better.

[TheFallenNinja]

If gay couples could get married tomorrow and raise children by whatever means, this is what would change in our culture.

Fuck all.

[yummymummy345]

GENERALLY there is much research to support differences between males and females. It is not understood as to why- nature nurture debate of course. However, we can all provide examples of when the roles are reversed.

Perhaps it is to do with feminism or political correctness you are reluctant to point out the differences? because I am fairly positive that your interation with the world moves further than your imediate family.

Despite my believing that there are differences in gender, with regard to the op I appreciate that love and security is probably more important than gender roles.

[ubik]

Actually op there are more differences between individuals of both sexes than between male and female.

This means that there are many men with what are constructed as 'female' personality traits and vice versa.

[AgentProvocateur]

Ubik, those adverts are really inspiring, aren't they?

[ubik]

It's a breath of fresh air, Agent.

[WishIdbeenatigermum]

A church marriage is for 2 people to procreate
That bit is true. As many shocked relatives and friends of DH and mine can testify. The priest told us that the marriage wouldn't be legal until consummated.
The rest of the OP is twaddle- norm and normal are not synonyms.

[tribpot]

So your argument is that there are fundamental differences between men and women - and that successful childrearing requires both. Except in the case of single parents, where it doesn't.

[BertieBotts]

Lol tribpot. Exactly. Single gender role model in the case of a single parent = fine. Single-gender role models in the form of a gay couple as parents = not fine apparently.

I mean, surely even if you do subscribe to this horseshit theory that men and women are programmed to be totally different, if single parents can get around the problem of having a single-gender role model surely gay parents can?

[cory]

WishIdbeenatigermum Fri 22-Feb-13 20:59:06
"A church marriage is for 2 people to procreate
That bit is true. As many shocked relatives and friends of DH and mine can testify. The priest told us that the marriage wouldn't be legal until consummated."

Only if you're a Catholic.

[Amphitrite]

OP, I have three teenage daughters. One of them is really good with children, she is gentle and kind, the sort of person that toddlers always gravitate to at parties and who is really sweet with them, spends hours playing with them and reading them stories. The other two have no interest in small children whatsoever.
Guess which one is gay? Should she be denied the chance to marry the partner of her choice and have a family to appease your blind and random prejudice?

[AnnieLobeseder]

"accepted part of our culture as much as a hetrosexual couple."

And this would be bad because.......?

You do realise, when you say that having two gay parents may not be best for the child, that plenty of "normal" heterosexual couples are absolutely crappy parents, yes? The ability to be a good parent is not in any way connected to a person's sexuality.

And BTW, you are homophobic if you think that anything involving homosexual people is wrong or bad.

[ubik]

Indeed - homosexuality is normal. To think anything else is homophobic.

[breatheslowly]

What is the opposite of acceptance? I can't think of any positive alternatives.

[Lastofthepodpeople]

I really couldn't care if a child's parents are gay or straight. Homophobic parents on the other hand can do a lot of damage...

[SmileAndPeopleSmileWithYou]

Gay marriage in the news also is looking to change our culture to make it the norm although I dont understand why civl partnership which affords the same rights? is not enough?

erm...if that is your argument, why is civil partnership not enough for everyone? Why not get rid of religious ceremonies all together?
BECAUSE RELIGIOUS PEOPLE MIGHT WANT TO GET MARRIED IN A CHURCH!?

Why does it matter if those religious people are gay/straight?? I genuinely don't understand!

The priest told us that the marriage wouldn't be legal until consummated.
I'm pretty sure gay people have sex... whats the issue?

[AnnieLobeseder]

In fact, it's homophobic to make any assumptions about gay people at all apart from that they prefer to have sexual relations with people of the same gender.

[tribpot]

You mean this whole thing about 'women in comfortable shoes' isn't true either?!

(I am a woman in comfortable shoes - out and proud).