Gay parents the new norm?

[yummymummy345]

Is it just me? but I do not entirely relish the idea of same sex couples being parents and thus becoming the norm. Watching Channel 4 news, they are highlighting books aimed at children with same sex couples instead of the traditional man/woman combo. I'm really not trying to offend anyone but I think men and women are generally different and so offer different things to a child, can 2 women or 2 men offer the same? I know 2 women/men would love that child just as much but is it all about love and security and thats it?

Gay marriage in the news also is looking to change our culture to make it the norm although I dont understand why civl partnership which affords the same rights? is not enough? A church marriage is for 2 people to procreate (if possible) so why does this all need to be changed?

I am interested on peoples opinions these are obviously just mine but would like to add I am not religious or homophobic .

[MooncupGoddess]

What actual risks do you see in gay people bringing up children, yummymummy? Can you explain the actual problem here, as you see it?

[hermioneweasley]

My accessories (bags, shoes, scarves) are lovely- they sit quietly in cupboards until I decide I need them and then only ever give with no thought for themselves. My children on the other hand.....

[Bluegrass]

Perhaps we could slot "the gays" into a long list of people we don't think should be allowed to have children:

People on benefits
People who use the word "cuppa"
People who recline during short haul flights...

Come on OP, need a little help here!

[yummymummy345]

gay people/couples I do not have an issue with.

I am not entirely convinced that gay parents are the best for the child and to be honest there is nothing that I have seen or heard to suggest they would be any worse or better think i'm just tradionalist to be honest.

I am throwing out my opinion, one person about parenting not gay people/couples.

[MajaBiene]

So, despite having no evidence that they are better or worse, you think gay couples (and single parents by choice) shouldn't be having children?

[chickensarmpit]

@ sitting, I think everyone has that urge to become a parent at some point in their lives. But I don't automatically thinks that makes it your right to have a child. But that's easy for me to say, I have kids. If the kids are loved, who cares who has them.

[reallyyummymummy]

Agree with childrensarmpit. There are some people who use children as an accessory. DH and I know a couple like this. They have two children and have hardly spent a day in their life with them.

Is it really homophobic to say it is not the same as in a hetero couple? It has been established that there are quite big differences between female and males so maybe there will be a difference in how the children will be brought up and how they fare in comparison to the rest of the world. No-one knows if it is better or worse because there are no grown up children yet (are there?)

I don't object to children learning about tolerance but I do object to them being taught about things that aren't relevant to them. Both my DCs have been taught that a child can have two mummies or two daddies at school and that this is normal. I don't know any homosexual couples who have a child. It is still really quite rare. Children are naturally tolerant and I feel being actively taught something turns it into a big deal that it is not. Why can't the message just be simplified to "being kind to everyone and treat everyone equally"?

[BIWI]

I am not entirely convinced that gay parents are the best for the child and to be honest there is nothing that I have seen or heard to suggest they would be any worse or better think i'm just tradionalist to be honest.

So why does this lead you to think that gay people can't be good parents? How about actually challenging your own thinking? If there's nothing you have seen to suggest any better or worse, then why not just assume better?

I am throwing out my opinion, one person about parenting not gay people/couples.

This is a stupid assertion. Of course you are criticising gay people.

[ScramblyEgg]

So basically, yummymummy, you think that gay couples shouldn't have children because you just kind of don't like the idea of it?

[Snusmumriken]

Good parents are the best parents. Good parents tend not to be homophobic, in my humble opinion.

[MooncupGoddess]

"It has been established that there are quite big differences between female and males" - really? Can you link to any reliable studies on this?

And there are lots of adults who grew up with same-sex parents... the studies on them show no differences with those who grew up with heterosexual parents.

[BIWI]

Are you sockpuppeting now?

Is it really homophobic to say it is not the same as in a hetero couple? It has been established that there are quite big differences between female and males so maybe there will be a difference in how the children will be brought up and how they fare in comparison to the rest of the world.

Erm, yes - I think this is pretty homophobic. People are different. All men aren't the same. All women aren't the same.


No-one knows if it is better or worse because there are no grown up children yet (are there?)

You really, seriously, think that there aren't people who have been brought up by gay parents?

[Foggles]

Are you aware that there are many, many "traditional" couples who are shit parents?

[Bluegrass]

Surely the minute you consider some of the godawful people who are perfectly able to have children, drag them up, teach them nothing, be unsupportive awful role models etc etc and then you look at a loving stable couple, who will bring up their children to feel loved secure and wanted, if you then say "well I don't think that second couple should be allowed to have any kids because they're [whisper it] G.A.Y" ...well wouldn't you just feel a prize twat for even thinking that for even a moment?

[sittinginthesun]

Everything BIWI said. Again.

[ledkr]

So yummy. How about heterosexual couples who marry when they are past child bearing years or who already know they are infertile?
Also this. I assess people to adopt. We very frequently approve same sex couples.
We never approve bigots!

[nancy75]

Op can I ask why do you care?
Nobody is going to make your children live with gay parents,
Nobody is going to make you have gay parents
When gay marriage is made legal you won't be forced to get married to a gay person, so, basically none of these things make any difference to your life, why do you care?

[Bluegrass]

"It has been established that there are quite big differences between female and males"

I think the difference actually comes in varying sizes from big to underwhelming.

[Booyhoo]

" I do not entirely relish the idea of same sex couples being parents and thus becoming the norm"

well, why the fuck not?

you're not one of those vile homophobes are you?

[StuffezLaBouche]

Do you actually know any gay people, OP? Any gay couples? Or are your judgements based on the distorted stereotypes we see on tv so often? (gay men being vain, mincing and promiscuous, etc)
I worked with a gay couple who fostered a boy from the worst of backgrounds. I.cannot begin to express the world of.good theyve done.for.that boy.
Crap typing i know.

[whethergirl]

I am a single parent, not by choice, but offended that you would think my child is having an inferior upbringing. I'm by no means the best parent in the world, but there are some children who are worse off with two parents aroud. Also, research shows that children are more likely to suffer from growing up in household with two parents that have a bad relationship. Every situation is different, no doubt some single parents do a shit job too. Same with gay couples, some will be great parents and some won't.

reallyyummymummy how do you know that homosexual awareness in schools is not relevant to the children? How do you know your children are not gay?