We Believe You - continued

[Frontpaw]

The old thread was full. It was the first of a few I think.

As a mother of a teenage girl who is an ardent Sheffield Utd fan I am not sure what to think about this or to say to her. It is horrible that the girl has been named and vilified but do I tell my daughter that getting so drunk you cannot remember what you did is acceptable? Maybe there are better role models for this campaign?

Sylvie, you tell your daughter that NO MATTER WHAT if she gets drunk, or drugged or is stone cold sober NO ONE has the right to have sex with her. Not even a Blades player

#ibelieveher

She's not a role model for any campaign Sylview, she's the victim of a violent sexual assault. Why would you need to tell your daughter that getting drunk is acceptable? Would you not be more concerned with the type of role model the footballers are providing?

Can we stop with the drunk comments please? Aside from all the very valid points already made about her state of drunkeness not being a form of consent the girl in question believes she may have been drugged prior to ending up in the take away. She believes she drank no more than she usually would on a night out without being effected so badly. The take away manager also stated that she was in a state he had never seen her in before.

And again drunk does not equal fair game. Just so we are clear on that. In fact it means the opposite. No real man would want to penetrate a female so drunk that she can barely talk. Only a rapist would do that. Only the rapist would be responible for his actions. Not the victim, not the drink and not anything else.

I believe her.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 14 he was 18. I was out and was very drunk. The victim in this case has my utmost respect for having the guts to report it. Something I could not do but wish I did.

SeventhEverything Of course not but I think we all have a duty of care to our kids - and suggesting if you are drunk you should be safe seems not the right message and as I said before I am not sure what the answer is.

can i just say that if you are raped you tend to sober up very quickly-unfortunately

Sylvie what a stupid thing to say!! Was it my fault when I was assaulted because I was very very drunk? I put myself in a compromising position by going off with him I never asked for what he did though!!

You should be safe from rape if you are drunk. Rapists also rape sober people you know? And people they know. And people in the comfort of their own home.

If you are unfortunate enough to be in the presence of a rapist not being drunk will not keep you safe.

Of course people should not get so drunk they can barely walk. They might stumble into the road and get hit by a car, they might fall into a canal, they might fall asleep in the cold and die of hypothermia. Staying sober enough to be in control can protect you from all of those things. It cannot, unfortunately, protect you from rape. Only the rapist can do that by choosing not to rape you.

I was referring to the 1st comment

Dooin I agree...sadly I learnt that a very difficult way.

Sorry i seem to have stirred up a hornets nest here when I was just asking a question- and seem to have been misunderstood so I will back out

Theglassishalffull, I would argue that you didn't put yourself in a compromising position at all. You went off with another person, that's a normal thing people do, that was not wrong in any way. Yes, you were drunk, that's another normal thing people do. He assaulted you. That is a crime. You are in no way to blame for what he did. You didn't put yourself in any compromising position you were just an ordinary person doing normal things who had the horrible bad luck to come in contact with a criminal. Please don't take any of the blame for it.

If you are drunk you should be safe from rapists sylview, that is the right message to give your daughter. If you don't give her that message then the only other possible message is that if she does get drunk and gets raped then she is partially to blame because she should expect to get raped if she is drunk. Do you want to give her that message?

I believe her.

I have said this already, but it's worth saying again:

I believe her.

I emailed the Lib Dems (the local branch that represents Hellish, sorry Elvish - haven't even had the standard response email back. Pah.

I believe her.

Sylview, if someone were stabbed when drunk, would you say they had been irresponsible, and were not a good role model for a campaign against knife crime? It's precisely the same thing. (And please, don't embarrass yourself yet further by pretending that you would.) Shocking comments from another woman. Shameful and frightening.

As to believing her - it is sad and rather pathetic that that even needs saying. She's brave as hell for taking this all the way, given the way she has been treated and the status of the piece of shit who did this to her. She is a rape victim, and deserves society's complete support. What she's been given instead makes me despair. Thank God for Mumsnet.

I believe her.

I also applaud her, she took on goliath and got a danger to women locked up. A huge achievement, just so brave

I believe her.

And those who named and insulted her on Twitter and other social media sites should be prosecuted - or at least be warned they can be prosecuted. They are treading on very thin ice and could soon be made a precedent of.

If a woman is drunk that doesn't give anyone the right to rape her.

If a woman is over friendly but refuses to have sex that doesn't give anyone the right to rape her.

If a woman changes her mind about going ahead with sex that doesn't give anyone the right to rape her.

If a woman works as a prostitute that doesn't give anyone the right to rape her.

If a woman is drugged and acting oddly that doesn't give anyone the right to rape her.

No means no. (And the same applies for male victims - no means no.)

I believe her

I believe her.

I still believe her. Have been reading tweets this morning from Ched supporters who consider him a hero. Don't know whether to feel sickened by them or feel sorry for them.

#IBelieveHer