You know this "all children need is love" stuff? Apparently it's all balls.

[HecateGoddessOfTheNight]

and they actually ARE unhappy without material goods

Mine are certainly screwed then.

Although there's stuff on there about quality time, much of it involves the handing over of cash.

Are we raising a generation of people with pound signs in their eyes?

As if we didn't have enough to feel guilty about, now we are told we are making our children miserable if we can't buy them enough stuff!

So is it rugby balls we are supposed to be buying for them or cricket? ::facetious::

What a load of bollocks. I wonder what the sample size was and the geographical location.

5,500 children they claim. But I wonder where they found them...

DS is 13m and already condemned to a life of misery then.

Depends on the age of the child, I think. There's a big difference between 8 and 15.

I think most of the stuff on that list is pretty important (having a garden, holidays away from home, trips out etc) but not every child wants designer trainers (ds thinks they're chavvy).

Even a small amount of pocket money is important to an older child. I can't imagine that there are many 15 year olds who don't get some pocket money from their parents.

I would imagine its not the goods themselves but fitting in with their peer group.
The 'right kind of clothes' could be - well, I dunno what kids wear nowadays but it's likelt to be the same as their friends and that is likely to change according to area/class etc. the whole relative poverty thing.
Course, nowadays the peer group seems to have expanded to include media people etc, kids are as likely to compare themselves to someone off the telly which will make them feel wanting, than compare themselves to someone in their class, which is more grounded and attainable.
have expressed self badly but think there's something in it

Perhaps a key line is:

researchers found that those children lacking two or more of the items were ?significantly more likely to be unhappy? than those given everything they wanted.

My DD doesn't want branded trainers and isn't interested in clothes. However, she does want me to spend saturdays standing by a chilly reservoir while she windsurfs - an activity which takes some money but not that much, takes a lot more love!

So... maybe part of it is our responsibility to try to raise kids for whom 'everything they want' isn't just shallow material goods?

Ha, this explains my childhood

To some extent it's fitting in, but it's also true that if there is little pleasure in life, a few nice things can help, if for no other reason than they prove to you that your parents care (mine was unable to show it in other ways, and refused to show it materially on principle).

I don't mean the above taken to extremes. I just think that I would have really, really appreciated for example a well-thought-out birthday present that was something that I could treasure. I tended to get 'an umbrella' or similar.

Yep, mine are very deprived indeed then. Effects of a consumerist, greedy society.

Children can be very conformist, so I'm not surprised that a lot on that list relates to peer groups & peer culture.

My DD is only 3, so the bulk of that list is irrelevant to her at the moment. However, she is miserable if she doesn't get outside to play each day. And this summer for the first time, we took a couple of short breaks in the UK, and I've been stunned by how much she talks about them and how much she enjoyed them. And she is very much looking forward to going to visit her GPs at Christmas, so the holidays/days out aspect of that list comes as less of a surprise.

Incidentally, I always find it funny that people express surprise that children have as complex and rich desires, etc., as adults, who expect them to live some kind of Rousseau-esque existence. I expect most adults would feel anxious if they did not have about 6 things on that list.

They want to fit in with their peers, be loved by their families, and see a bit more of the world than their own four walls.

So that's a surprise then.

Exactly Penthiseleia. Except you are powerless as a child to fulfil or moderate your own desires, AND you have a parent telling you not to be grasping.

yars.

Hec - it is unlike you to post such a DMish post, and one that isn't really accurate?

est près de la chaise de Ma Tante!

At least your childhood didn't spoil your sense of humour!

Would it not be more interesting to ask these children when they are adults if they felt that the lack of iPods and holidays in the sun made them feel unloved by their parents?

Or if they feel now, looking back, that they had an unhappy childhood.

Children can be little drama queens. "but I haaaaaaaaaave to have that. EVERYONE in my school has one".

Don't think they are damaged for life because of the lack of an iPod.

Nor do I. Nor damaged for life. But they sure are happier if they fit in, whatever that might mean in each circ.

Whatever next, 'Children feel like slaves if they're asked to clear the table once in a while' perhaps?

Hully
I was the LAST child in school who still wore Clarks shoes and navy knickers. And my mum baked while my friends got bought cakes the bastards

Penthesileia - I can only hear that in the voice of Eddie Izzard now.

Me too, and my mum was rubbish at baking.

But - I dont think I worried too much about having 'the right stuff'. Because I had the right stuff.

What an odd article. it goes on about today's consumer society and pound signs in the eyes and whatnot, but the top five things children wanted are:

Some money you can save each month

A garden at home or outdoor space nearby

At least one family holiday away from home each year

A personal music player

Monthly trips or days out with the family

That looks a lot like - financial security/autonomy (being able to save up for something you want is important, especially for the older age bracket), somewhere to play, quality time and experience with your family, and...a personal music player. There's only one consumer good in the top five! Hardly Broken Bloody Britain, is it?

Yes! I know my mum's homemade wholemeal pumpkin seed muffins were a labour of love but why couldn't i just have had an Iceland doughnut like everyone else.

Why is everyone going on about overseas holidays in the sun? "away from home" could be camping in Cornwall.

I had to wear granny sandals and everyone else was in wedges. And I had white socks with lacy hole things and everyone else had stripey thigh high socks (shows age).

But, and this is where I win, at primary school I had to wear a uniform. And THERE WASN'T ONE.