You know this "all children need is love" stuff? Apparently it's all balls.

[HecateGoddessOfTheNight]

and they actually ARE unhappy without material goods

Mine are certainly screwed then.

Although there's stuff on there about quality time, much of it involves the handing over of cash.

Are we raising a generation of people with pound signs in their eyes?

As if we didn't have enough to feel guilty about, now we are told we are making our children miserable if we can't buy them enough stuff!

That is truely rubbish Prune.

Oh bless you, Prune.

I've never known pain like the pain of swimming off a beach in NE Scotland.
I thought I wouldn't ever be able to reproduce, it hurt my bits so bad.

Pruney
I would say that is nothing to do with you being materialistic, and everything to do with your dad being crap. Especially since your brother got a BMX.

Consistency is important for DC, I think.

If you give one child a crap present, then you have to give the other DC a crap present.

That's why now, I say to my dc, right, what has everyone else got? Let's get that. What else do you need? And in a rather neat reversal, it's them saying, No, it's ok, I don't need X!

Lol @ crap consistency.

Not if they've got Aston Martins an shit, obviously.

Or even tellies in their rooms cos that's plain wrong.

Ach no sad faces! It wasn't his fault really, he's a product of his upbringing. Bloody Church of Scotland.

Lenin: don't go and be all sensible on us!

Yes, Len. But you didn't lack the basics so YOU DON'T KNOW THE PAIN

No, quite, RubberDuck. And really, a basic iPod is so little money these days that it's not exactly pound signs in the eyes, is it? It's wanting something that - it feels like - every single bloody child else has. I grew up poor, and even I had a Walkman.

Prune, why was your brother allowed to want things, then?

MMeLindor, you are so right about consistency. I'm almost scared to say what he said about it when I asked him (years later) to account for the discrepancy. I fear I would hear the sound of a hundred violins striking up at once

yes, why was bruv allowed?

Consistency key - would definitely agree. DH's relationship with his F is completely fractured because his father has consistently favoured his sister over him. With both objects (gifts/money) and time (never making an effort to see him.) Now DD will grow up and never know her GF on that side of the family. Can definitely appreciate why that hurt Prune.

Tortoise - a) he was a boy and boys don't get what they want without trying. Whereas girls Know Their Place. b) he felt guilt about our family situation so gave into him. c) my brother has always been a charmer (I think he is a sociopath myself, but what the hey).

OK he said (and you have to know, I laughed at the ridiculousness of this! and still do) 'Well his birthday's in summer, your birthday's in winter and I always had to buy coal then.'

On a generally fed up day, I find this immensely depressing reading. I'm going to live on an island. Bye.

Did he acknowledge that it felt very hurtful to you?

But if they're not adjusting for overall household spending, all they're showing is that there are strong correlations between low income, children not having stuff, and children not being as happy as their peers. That's not demonstrating causality.

oh come on Len, let's go the whole hog

Pruney
That is so ridiculous, and funny and sad all at the same time.

As an aside, I was brought up in the CoS and still manage to treat my children the same. There shall be no excuses accepted for crap consistency.