You know this "all children need is love" stuff? Apparently it's all balls.

[HecateGoddessOfTheNight]

and they actually ARE unhappy without material goods

Mine are certainly screwed then.

Although there's stuff on there about quality time, much of it involves the handing over of cash.

Are we raising a generation of people with pound signs in their eyes?

As if we didn't have enough to feel guilty about, now we are told we are making our children miserable if we can't buy them enough stuff!

"If you don't feel listened to, then you will feel differently and it's not because you are a grasping or materialistic person; it's because one of your most basic needs has not been met."

Precisely. This was it for me (with a massive dose of sibling unfairness). It has had such a massive effect on my life.

why are they asking the children? they did ask them didn't they? I think i might have proofread too fast

do they want to vote and work as well? that should set them up good .

Whilst on the first reading of this, I was quite shocked, thinking about it, I didn't have most of the things my peers had when I was growing up, and whilst I didn't have an unhappy childhood, I definitely felt uncomfortable about not having those things and not fitting in for a long time. I'm sure it affected my confidence, and even now I sometimes feel that I have trouble fitting in - I wonder if this comes from a whole childhood of not doing so. I guess it is about a balance, of ensuring that your children understand the importance of instrinsic values, and that material possessions don't make you a good/nice person, whilst understanding that it is hard not to fit in, and sometimes it is important to do so.

Is it not the case though that if everybody has the trendy clothes and the ipod that the trends will move on to make something else the thing which leaves some kids behind?

No mention of mobiles either, I would have thought most teenagers would rather give their right arms up than their mobiles.

children between 8 and 18 the article says. what children? where? 5,500 of them, but we dont know anything else about their sample. or how the children were surveyed. were they asked to name material goods? how was the question phrased? what a load of old pants

I have always thought the "all you need is love" line was balls! The "findings" of this survey do not surprise me in the least-that as well as some non material fundementals, certain material things/opportunities matter. As a child, I was well loved, but I lacked significantly in terms of material things/holidays/recreational opportunities compared to my peers, especially during primary school age-and it mattered. A lot. To be the first to have the "in thing"....just once.
I hated the charade of having to pretend to be grateful/satisfied with my lot-struggling with feelings of guilt for having "selfish" thoughts. I felt I needed to protecty my mother in particular, from my feelings of irritation/disappointment.
I got a Saturday job as soon as I could, and every bit of cash went on music and clothes-but to be honest, I didn't see it as character building! It made me determined to do better-in all areas, for my own DC.

I imagine it also matters quite a lot depending on what your friends are like. Listening to some MNers and what their children have to have, I imagine dd would feel totally deprived if she lived where they live, not just because these kids have these things, but because they clearly judge each other on it.

Dd has friends of very varying economic status, but I never get from her that she has been made to feel inferior because she doesn't have the same things or that she herself thinks less of friends who do not have what she has. Social skills and a sense of fun are highly prized but noone seems to care if you have an iPod or TV in your bedroom.

I was teased for not having the right clothes, but then I didn't think very highly of those friends, so wasn't desperately upset about their opinion. When I got money on my own, I spent it on things I wanted, never on the things that the people I thought silly cared about.

The worst case scenario must be to be with friends who you desperately want to please but who demand the right accessories.

I think this finding might be due to the fact that children who have less material goods are also likely to live in worse housing, have parents with less stable jobs, have more chaotic homelives etc.

ie it's not just a simple correlation between not having an ipod and being less happy. There are other factors that the report doesn't go into, but may be more important.