Women 'blamed' for being raped

[monkeytrousers]

here

We really need to reeducate ourselves about this I think. Only a few days ago a poster on another thread was trying to say that acquaintance rape wasn't as bad as stranger rape. It's this kind of ignorance we really need to challenge.

Aloha, I so agree with your comments on smut and porn. They perpetuate the myth that women are always 'up for it'. Horrible

And now even women say 'It is just a bit of good old dirty fun'

Sorry, but I don't think it is. I think these magasines twist the way out young men see girls.

Agree martianbishop and aloha, the lads' mag culture has got to be a contributory factor I think.

Sorry, I also agree with ruty, who posted and Aloha agree with her

Interestingly, the report which came out has said that that most police forces do not have that set-up still.

One woman who was interviewed was raped by her ex and she had a direct line to the police service because he had harassed her so many times. The police treated her with derision and didn't bother to take DNA evidence.

There seems to be an attitude which says that somehow, if a man has had sex with you once, he's entitled to do it forever.

No, I'm jumping on you because you imply that it's unreasonable to criticise the police and their part in the low conviction rate, as somehow being mindlessly left-wing anti-police.

this topic is so depressing and awful - so much for 'progress' and being a 'civilised' society. it seems to me that men will ultimately use sex as a means of power, hatred and control because they can, whether it's in the Uk or the torture chambers in Iran ( I refer to the shocking article in Saturday's Guardian magazine detailing the sexual torture and murder of an Iranian photo journalist).
So what I want to know is: what do I tell my two daughters ? how should I encourage them to behave? because apparently if they dress up nicely and go out for a few drinks and laughs they are fair bloody game.
It's enough to make people like me - the middle class boring lefties - want to resort to capital punishment or the like.
And I absolutely agree that stupid cows like Jordan and Abi Titmuss are responsible for objectifying women and making it seem ok for men to regard women as nothing more than their tits and arse.

I mean, look at this crap from FHM, 'high st honeys' indeed, I find it repulsive

i didn't imply that at all. i haven't made any comment on the low conviction rate. i've just given a real life example of the work of one officer. you're simply cross because it didn't fit your stereotypical view.

God it's disgusting. I feel like donning a twinset, pearls and impractical hat, and going on a re-claim the night (or even the day, or any of our space) march.

donnie, I kind of agree and feel similarly depressed on my daughter's behalf but I wouldn't even necessarily blame Jordan and Abi Titmuss - they're fairly stupid (stupid and wealthy in Jordan's case) women but still, how is this their fault? We're still blaming women if we behave as though it's as simple as that.

"trite guardianista posturing"

So what was that referring to then?

it referred to stereotyping the police.

it referred to stereotyping the police.

I feel like going on a reclaim the night march too, this is so bloody awful.

Which stereotyping?

Sigh, I reclaimed the night last time.....I thought we were beginging to get somewhere

to be fair the Met has worked with rape survivors to set up Havens - centres where women can get counselling, medical treatment, give statements, have dna evidence taken etc in a totally supportiv environment and with no pressure to go to court. but these centres desperately need more funding.

Flamesparrow, sorry I didn?t answer your post from 10.57 this morning. The biological sexual ?urge? is there whether a man is capable of ejaculating, whether he?s infertile, whether he?s gay, etc. Rape, whether we like it or not has always been a currency between men and women. If there were no laws to protect women, it would happen a lot more, believe me.
Females have their fertility and males compete to be in control of it. Biologically, this urge is the genes way of ensuring that they are passed on, (whether they are or not, if you see what I mean, in an evolutionary sense, the urge is all). Because of this all men have the ?urge? to sexually possess a woman, (or a man, it doesn?t matter the urge is the same) and will hopefully therefore have power over her fertility, i.e., to make sure any progeny are his. This is all before morals can kick in, but crucially, in this day and age they do. Sorry, it?s late for me and it?s not one of my most lucid posts. Someone else will be able to do it better than me.

No more biology, I promise!

Bossykate, you've cited on incidence of sensitivity. That isn't conclusion, certainly not on evidence of other posters experience. Nobody's got it in for the police. We're not anarchists!

Bloody spellcheck!

Bossykate, you've cited one incidence of sensitivity. That isn't conclusive, certainly not on evidence of other posters experience. Nobody's got it in for the police. We're not anarchists!

Grrr. This sh*e makes me so f*king mad. These women are victims, what gives a fuck if they were flirting? I flirt fairly regularly and I would term in as 'harmless...' Now I am told it isn't and if I am raped I am partly to blame??

Fuck that (sorry can't be arsed with asterixes anymore).

I cannot believe that people out there think and say that, it enrages me. No means no. That is all there is to it IMO.

BUT. I don't think I would report it if I was raped. It sounds like an absolute nightmare, where you are are being judged by everyone and usually in a negative light. I am sure my sexual history could look sordid in places if it was scrutinised by those trying to make me out as a liar, etc.

Also, 94% of cases end without a conviction? So in the end the bastard would probably walk anyway and nobody would know if I had been honest?

No thanks.

'Harmless' now there's a term that needs to be redefined..

I'm just genuinely astonished that people still believe anyone can be responsible for anyone else's actions. Irrespective of whether it's rape or anything else, how can our culture be so very infantile that we can make other people responsible for our actions, or make ourselves responsible for other people's actions? I really find this difficult to grasp.

Do people ask mugging victims 'have you ever given money away in the past'?

If it wasn't so f*cking dangerous this idea would be monty pythonesque