Women 'blamed' for being raped

[monkeytrousers]

here

We really need to reeducate ourselves about this I think. Only a few days ago a poster on another thread was trying to say that acquaintance rape wasn't as bad as stranger rape. It's this kind of ignorance we really need to challenge.

Female anal rape is not exactly unheard of, 006. Nor is forced penetration with objects.

But I think the real reason why male rape shocks people where female rape doesn't is that there is a kind of sub-conscious acceptance that rape for women is just "sex when they don't want it" - rather than being what it is, which is violent assault.

I think gay men would disagree 006.

And it also has a hint of vaginal penetration is natural so vaginal rape isn't so bad logic to it.

That is where the drunkeness confusion is coming in though - are the men in the club environment the same ones who rape for power, or are they a new breed who are actually raping for sex?

exactlty dino

(I do know that I have a habit of talking myself in circles in this subject, and contradicting myself ... am writing as i think, rather than logical arguement)

Rape is always for sex otherwise they'd just beat you up.

The platitude about rape 'not being abourt sex' just confuses alot of people. Of course it's about sex, it's about power to, but it's definetly aboput sex!

No it isn't - rape is for power. Beating someone up is much less traumatising than the violation of rape... if it were for sex, then how does rape with objects fit in? Or rapists who don't ejaculate?

From what I can tell, rape is rarely about sex.

It's a bit of a misconception that women are not subject to anal rape too..

I don't think you can have from a legal perspective ok rape and traumatic rape, although the pysical and mental injuries will obviously vary..

from an outside point of view it is possible to understand how a binge drinking girl could be seen to be to blame..but to go down that route is to condone male behaviour and plenty of men can get drunk and not rape someone

I think more needs to be done to reduce those who make false accusations and also much more needs to be done to encourage genuine reporting

I believe that although there are plenty of false accusations ther are probably more unreported cases

006 anal rape is more physically traumatic, but women are very often anally raped. With the proliferation of porn today (and it's all about anal sex these days) you still not get the same outcry. Porn 'normalizes' deviant sex practice.

We really need to stop this myth about flase accusations. They happen yes, but more men lie about not raping women.

I don't disagree, but women are just as physically damaged by anal rape as men, aren't they?

sorry, x posts!

I think that another difficulty about the successful prosecution of rape cases is that if the defendant has (or at least, can convince the jury that he had) an honest belief that his victim is consenting, however misguided that belief, the jury has no choice but to acquit.

This means that defendants get away with stuff like saying "I thought she must be consenting because she didn't fight me off" (which could mean that his victim was terrified and in a state of frozen shock); "she didn't say anything" (ditto); "she had sex with my mate earlier on, so I thought she was up for it" etc etc etc.

It's not a myth monkeytrousers, sadly it's a reality and it happens for the very reason that rape is a difficult allegation to disprove. The point I'm making is that it happens more than you would think. I don't have any sympathy for rapists, I think they should all be castrated but I do understand that when the crime of rape is being processed it is difficult to prove or diprove and that this is why the legal system is abused by SOME women and by MOST rapists.

It's also difficult to convict because most rapists are not monsters, they are ordinary men like our brothers, fathers, husbands and sons.

And juries look uneasily at them and can't bring themselves to send normal blokes to prison, because they know that prison is a terrible place for a rapist.

Good point Caligula.

I do feel a heavy responsibility here, being a mother of three sons.

The myth is of endemic false accusations, Carmenere. Like Caligula said women's groups have it at 10%, the police 50%. Or the fact that 97% of cases end in equittal. Are 97% of women crying rape? That's where the myth comes from.

Cases ending in acquittal is not the same as false accusations

From initial accusation to court is a long and painful process, there are all sorts of reasons why the initial report doesn't end up in court one of which is that the crime didn't take place.

Women who have been raped are reluctant to report it because it both adds to the trauma, tkes ages, there is a risk they won't be beieved and there is a high risk that the rapist will not be convicted..but if it's not reported there is certainty he won't be convicted.

Well, if you say or indicate you don't want it that's it, it's rape and prison is the answer. I say this as a 'victim' of acquaintance rape, which I didn't personally think was as bad as my friend being stranger raped by the canal within about 6 months (many years ago). She disagreed. Stranger r ape leads you to never, ever feel safe. Acquaintance rape means you find it pretty much impossible to trust anyone ever again. Anyone who says you can ask for rape is completely wrong IMHO. As far as I am concerned you SHOULD be able to walk along the street in nothing but your sexy undies and not risk getting touched.

I don't believe the 'all men are rapists' thing btw, which goes hand in hand with the well you pushe them too far you deserve it argument. Most men would never, ever hurt a woman. Most men are kind and gentle. Most men wouldn't want to have sex with someone who didn't want to sleep with them.

Jeremy Vine (Radio 2) is about to run a radio phone in on this exact issue in the next hour or so

Keep us posted RainbowWalker - although I suspect that it will make my blood pressure rise...