Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #9. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight.

[Solo]

We are a group of likeminded householders who are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine is), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (me too) that means sorting out our households is challenging to say the least. So...
You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be a huge challenge; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them, or it belonged to mum or gran. This is tough stuff to deal with.
Encouragement and support abound here in our band of clutterbugs. We never ever criticise anyone! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult to achieve.
We hold one another's hands, dab away tears, and snot virtually.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganisation and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will support you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises. If you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, we're here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement. Every small step is an achievement.
My own journey is very long, I've tried to get it done, bug it's a work in progress. Single working mum (children now both over 18, but youngest has many physical issues as well as ADHD and ASD). I have chronic illness, and am in my 62nd year on the planet, so I need to deal with it. The point is. You aren't alone if you are also suffering.

Some helpful links which I hope are still valid. They aren't for everyone, but have a look if you fancy:
• Help For Hoarders by Jasmine Harman (the author/producer of the BBC1 documentaries My Hoarder Mum and Me and Britain's Biggest Hoarders)
• The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
• The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
• The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
• A Slob Comes Clean by Dana K. White
• The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

I'm not sure if The Flylady link is working, but if not, you know what to search for.
Welcome to thread #8 of Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight (and winning, one small step at a time).

Decluttering Expert: Dana K White of A Slob Comes Clean
Learn more about decluttering expert Dana K. White and her cleaning and organizing blog: A Slob Comes Clean. Author, podcaster, blogger and YouTuber.
https://www.aslobcomesclean.com/about-me/

Hell9 everyone. Looks like we've all been struggling with health and crap. I hope you're all doing better.

I've been bogged down with work and am exhausted.
I've kept up with the washing up and laundry I've changed the bedding. Cleaned the loo, sink and bath. The cooker top cleaned (needs another wipe over), and vacuumed up a lot of cobwebs from ceilings and walls.
Will come back.

@TidyHoarder Right. The shop in Glenrothes still exists and takes VHS tapes. Their branch in Glasgow has closed, but there's one in Stirling and one in Fife.

However, the helpful chap at Glenrothes told me that the Salvation Army Store in Glasgow takes VHS tapes.

Update

The tank book and some others are now at the charity shop in St Andrews.

Have an old leather jacket of DH's bundled up and in the car ready to go to a local charity shop.

Have just donated two large books - one cookery - to the charity shelf in the local farm shop.

I'm really confused. I was sure I had seen my update posted, but it's still sitting here and not showing on the thread.

The thread isn't showing on my notifications, at all.

When I look on housekeeping it doesn't show.

Well, that's made it show on housekeeping for me.

What I thought I posted before:

Good to see you @Solo and well done especially against the background of work and exhaustion.

@WearyAuldWumman Well done, especially with following through.

Not a great update but here goes: Situation here has been awful in between very poor health (all of us) and the never ending continuous bad quality remodeling, rebuilding, and shrinking of our homes to fit more 'dwelling units' into the footprint. May and renters rights can't come soon enough here.

Almost all our money has gone on storage while everything continues to overun beyond all expectations, and too ill and low energy to try and go throw things out from it to reduce it. An unexpected overseas death and two unpleasant legal issues with previous clients, have added to issues and expenses.

Down to about four weeks storage bill money available, with everything spread across different sites and units heading to disaster, and of course prices all rise in April, and Aunt's is back to a total disaster zone, with both gardens causing issues too.
I've been sleeping between hers and ours which has complicated everything and didn't make things better, but has helped stop some things getting worse.
But states of health has left very very little work or money coming in.

It's made the instinct to keep and acquire, stronger than the need to let go and dispose. But I'm trying to push myself back to where I was.

Not posting here has not helped me at all, as well as allowed me to hide away and be less accountable.

Positive things to say are: have managed to keep on top of vehicle and wheelchair maintenance, washing, washing up, and basic maintenance.

One of the two storage companies where stuff got damaged, the insurance is going to pay out. (the other where everything's covered in dirt and in the wrong units is still like that, desperate to be dealt with before that goes further wrong)

The promised replacement windows from where they've destroyed ours going in and out for access, is actually happening.
Flat is now much smaller than it was and furniture won't necessarily fit including through corridors, especially built in bits)
The tree is gone. The promised fence panels ended up being mainly very battered and ropey and most already falling to bits, but I've got a fence up between us and neighbor from hell (though the dog is ripping it apart from its side) at least even if it is in need of immediate replacement.
Did manage last week to dispose of a roll of roofing felt, small bit of wood for a project I didn't finish, a large set of steps, and three bags of general 'stuff.' but that;s been the first stuff out in ages.

Plans for letting go of a box of damaged books.

@Elleherd that all sounds complex. Losing space in your flat must be so frustrating. I hope your rent is being reduced accordingly. It should be. And the landlord should have given compensation for the crap you've been through.
@WearyAuldWumman positive moves going on there for sure.

My update.
I took last Wednesday off. In 8 solid hours...Cleared and cleaned two window sills. Cleaned the associated windows and frames. Both had old, dried black mould on. Now sparkling silver grey in colour - well, clean at any rate. Vacuumed some cobwebs in back bedroom. Sorted two bags of shoes i can't wear/won't wear. Some for landfill, some for charity shop. One big bag of rubbish, and some paper/cardboard to recycle. Vacuumed some of the stair carpet and landing.
Washing up, laundry done. Recycled a fair number of large water bottles, but afterwards worried that I should have kept them in case I need water stored given what is happening in the world right now.
Today (yesterday really) was my birthday, so I have done nothing at all. Tomorrow I intend to do a fair bit.
Took down mum's ruined net curtain in her living room and vacuumed behind her sofa. Cleaned her window and sill. Vacuumed off her recliner chair which had so much dust on that it looked grey brown. It's blue. Did her shopping.
Hoping to sleep well. Will be back.

You've done wonderfully, @Solo .

🎂Happy Birthday @Solo 🎂

Big well done getting stuck in to it all! You've got loads done both with yours and your Mum's!
I know it's scary times and it has the same effect here, but it's unlikely that you'll need to be storing water to the point of really needing those bottles, and there will be plenty more piling up soon, but if we do, you don't really want water stored in plastic...
Hope you get lots of sleep.

To add insult to injury the rent's actually going up for those of us left, to help pay for what they've done to us, and they still haven't finished and have made some parts worse. One wall now has a major damp problem where they've done something wrong and water's coming in obviously when it rains.
Losing that much space inside and outside is difficult and not going to make anything easier, and no chance of compensation. Because they've squeezed so many extra ensuite rooms and 'studio flats' in, there's now too many vehicles and parking's become an issue, and councils not taking recycling because there's nowhere for the bins to go. But we're weeks off the renters bill becoming law and getting better rights, so holding on.

Today just got bit of hand washing done, and cut most of Aunts giant Christmas tree that's been stood outside her back door, right down into two big black sacks, and got one to the dump.
Tomorrow's got to include launderette and cutting up the remains of Aunts tree and getting all of it gone and see how that goes.

@Elleherd & @WearyAuldWumman thank you both for the birthday wishes, and encouragement.
Slept okay. Still tired.
Waiting for Dd to go out and will get myself sorted, and crack on with something.

Sunday update: Launderette and more hand washing done. Aunts shower curtain scrubbed. Remains of aunts Christmas tree, bagged, taken to dump, wreaths dissembled, and worst of clear up done, (bit by window to do) Some mould cleaned off her bedroom window sills.

Half of overdue composting at ours done and some clear up.
Lots of plants watered. Fence panel bodged upright,

Wrong box of books brought out of storage to dispose off, but a few needed items retrieved and one box sorted through.

Accepted some garden furniture from Aunt partly to get her to let go of excess, but it's practical and stuff I should be able to let go off easily enough if it stops being useful.

Everyone is being so productive. Congratulations on your progress.

This is a springtime update from me. I've been busy doing my big declutter course and it's really helped me. I've let go of way more than I have before, decisions feel easier and my mindset is definitely shifting. I'm less overwhelmed with uncomfortable feelings after decluttering too, so I'm able to do it more often because I need less recovery time. Some areas of my home are looking noticeably tidier and there are pockets of space instead of everything being Tetris'd to the nth degree. Now that I've done quite a few pass-throughs of the whole place, I'm feeling less overwhelmed by the thought of all the stuff I have to go through and less bothered by how much I keep. It's hard to explain because nothing changes in any real sense, but between one pass-through and another I find myself letting go of more and more. So now when I see all I've got still, I don't feel like I'm somehow doing it wrong by keeping so much, because I know I'll probably let go of more in the future even if I haven't been able to this time. In addition to the courses I've been doing, I watch related content on YouTube and one thing that seems fairly consistent is that people are decluttering their whole home every season. So I think going forward, when I finally reach my end-point, that a seasonal declutter is going to be the way to keep on top of it and not let things build up again. I know it's a big "if" and life sometimes gets in the way, but I'm hopeful that if I can maintain my current level of decluttering I might finally have what looks like a completely normal home in a year's time by summer 2027, which feels quite exciting. Thank you to everybody on this thread for continuing to inspire me on my de-hoarding journey ✨

I've thrown out a dead plant and pot from the garden. I feel guilty about not recycling the pot, but apparently it's not supposed to go into our recycling bin.

Have sealed two boxes of photographs (and a few other items) to return to my husband's children. If they want to throw them out, that's fine.

I've written an explanatory letter and have scanned (for myself) and then packed up some items to be sent to one of the kids: there's a postcard sent to my MIL's mother from the front line, WW1 and a letter sent to my MIL and FIL during WW2, a letter written from my MIL to her mother when DH was a baby and a few other items.

@BlueSummerBaby Lovely to read where you're at, and its interesting to here your process.

@WearyAuldWumman Well done, that's not an easy letting go I should imagine.

Not much achieved here apart from basics and a bit more hand washing, in between work, being ill, and chasing down a young mouse that appears to have just wandered in.
Finally caught and released it unharmed to live elsewhere.yesterday,

@BlueSummerBabywhich courses are you doing please?

Glad you caught the mouse, @Elleherd .

Aye...It's been five years. Finally got myself into the mindset.

wearyoldwumman that's some interesting family history.

Glad you got rid of the mouse before you had hundreds elleherd!

Begone I'm doing/done three. I got them all from YouTube.

Started with a free one from Field of Boaz channel. This turned out to be more about letting go of bad habits and setting up good ones. It worked because it gave me back calm and time to declutter in.

It's a week long course that's literally a 10min video each day and a couple of journal prompts. I gave myself a whole month to establish all the new habits before moving on.

She's religious so does talk about things from that perspective but IMO it's not necessary to be religious to get the information/help from the course, you could replace the concept of God with the concept of peace and it would still work just the same, so don't be put off by that.

She has a paid-for course as well, but I'm talking about the free one, so don't get confused between the two.

The whole point is you can do it even if your life is chaos and you feel like you don't have a second to stop and breathe. It's designed to fix that, so don't feel you have to be in a certain headspace or have blocked out time to start.

Next I'm doing an annual course. I came to it from Hoarder's Heart channel because she was involved in making content for it, although it's not her course. She's recovering from hoarding disorder and has documented the entire process of dehoarding her house. It's worth going back to the start and watching all her videos too, even the initial weird few. Her journey is inspiring.

This course I'm doing is free when it comes round each year, but only in real time. You can't do the whole course in real time, you'd have to be awake 24/7 for an entire week and not even stop to pee. Obviously this is impossible, so you'd have to pick and choose what sessions to do/miss.

Which is why I paid for lifetime access to the course, cost me about £25. If you do this, I advise waiting until this year's course comes around because without the first day discount it's a couple hundred. So I'd go do Field of Boaz's free course, establish the habits and be ready in a better headspace for when the big course comes around.

The big course is very big-business-like and doesn't feel like the other courses, it has a different vibe. The organisers will try hard to sell you everything under the sun. So be aware of that and don't be sucked in if you're on a tight budget, you don't need any extras to do the course, they're just a nice-to-have. I remember having to scroll right to the bottom of the page to find the pay-without-extras button.

It has the cult-like feel of an MLM (my friend did MLM that's how I know) and since I'm exactly the type of person who'd wake up one day and find myself somehow living in a cult, I'm glad I paid for the course so I could keep my distance, do it in my own time and not get sucked into the excitement of it. Some people probably find that type of excitement motivating but I'd just find it overwhelming. By paying I could step back, ignore the hype and not feel under any kind of time-pressure. You'll be bombarded with emails (some of which are genuinely useful), although you can easily unsubscribe if you find it too much, whether you pay or not.

If you do this course and haven't paid for it, ensure you watch the "launch party" in real-time, which isn't a party at all, it's where they explained how it all works. If you've paid, you can watch it any time.

Just a warning that I found it stressful, unnecessarily so, as it turned out. I didn't know how anything worked, couldn't find my way around the course, clicked on this launch party that I wasn't even going to watch initially, because it was all I could find and the email to log on didn't even come through until 15 mins before it started. So just to say, don't panic! There's no need. If you're paying there's no time limit and you won't miss anything. If you're not paying, keep hitting refresh on your emails and all your inevitable questions will be explained when you watch the launch party.

You don't need any equipment except your phone or computer and an email address, no apps or zoom or anything. I was worried what I'd got myself into but it was very easy in the end.

If you follow Hoarder's Heart on YouTube you'll find out when the next course is (or some other declutter channel but I can't tell you which ones). I'll also try to remember to post about it here when it comes around this year, but no promises because I've a brain like a sieve and I'm no good with links etc

The third one is a simple declutter-and-reorganise course that makes you think about the end result for your home and how you want it to be. I actually got this one first, then realised I wasn't ready for it and got the others. If you're not experiencing hoarding tendencies it would be perfect, but since we all are, I don't recommend starting with this one. It'll be perfect to finish with though now my mindset has shifted a bit and I'm better able to let go.

It was about £30 from Becky Moss's channel but I'm unsure if it's still available. She has a much longer (and I assume more expensive) course aimed more at sorting your entire life out and I don't know if she's incorporated the mini decluttering course into that or if it's still available separately.

These last three below aren't courses, but I've found them helpful, in addition to the channels mentioned above.

If you want to watch others de-hoarding (they're not all hoarders) in a fairly fast way, I recommend Space Maker channel. Those people are doing in a week what it's taken me several years to do, but it's still helped me to see it and feel less alone. She has playlists of each person's home. I found Tracy and Roberta the best hoarder-y ones for seeing the struggles of it and starting to overcome it. The videos are long though, you need time.

If you're into journalling I recommend Kristi Doing Things, she has links to journal prompts at the end of some of the videos (go back to the start and watch them all). Her channel is mainly about decluttering and although she doesn't specifically mention about hoarding disorder, that seems to be the mindset she's discussing. If you're not religious you'll just have to ignore that aspect, her husband is a minister so God gets mentioned a fair bit, but it isn't necessary to be religious to get something from her videos. I consider it free therapy. The videos are teak-break-short but the journalling gets into the corners of your psyche where you never look and takes time.

If you live in a total shit-tip, are scared to open the curtains in case the neighbours see and report you, if you want to cry at the thought of cleaning it but don't have a clue where to start - check out Midwest Magic Cleaning. He discusses hoarding in all it's various forms and has useful information on cleaning too. If you grew up in a shit-tip, don't know the difference between soap and detergent, and think there might be a cleaning rag around here somewhere then he's your guy, but if you're going to panic at the sight of a hoarded home being de-hoarded on time-lapse in half an hour then don't start here. Dumpsters, squalor hoards requiring a hazmat suit and irreverent cussing of his nearest-and-dearest feature heavily.

Royal Mail informs me that the wartime correspondence has been delivered to DH's son, so I can stop worrying about that now.

The photographs were sent in separate packages, but only tracked rather than guaranteed.

@BlueSummerBaby Really good informative helpful post.🙏
I'm always scared to just search the internet as it often doesn't seem to go well for me. Someone else breaking it down as to what's what is really helpful.

Fingers crossed that it was just a lone mouse that's wandered in, and not the first sign of something worse. Trying not to catastrophise or scrub everything with bleach!.

Tried to give something difficult away today to be cut up and reused, which I was pleased to have reached a point of being able to do.
But after all that it was a no, so need to just bin it.

@WearyAuldWumman Well done!

This weekend is two half days of work to try and achieve things around.

Thank you @BlueSummerBabythat is so, so helpful and much appreciated ! 🙏 💐

I have only recently discovered the Space Maker channel and found it helpful to watch while I declutter myself. Looking forward to investigating the others.

It's all on YouTube elleherd. I don't bother with TV often any more. I'd rather use YouTube to educate myself than watch mindless crud. So I've been watching channels about minimalism, decluttering, cleaning, overconsumption, room makeovers etc for years. I find it calming and it gradually got me into the position of wanting more and more to start decluttering. There's helpful principles on a lot of channels but it wasn't until I started finding the hoarding content that it really made a solid difference. It's all very well to understand minimalist principles and it's benefits but if you can't actually let go of anything it's of limited help. I guess it sowed the seed in my mind though. I like the ordinary cleaning and organising videos when I'm not in the mood for taking in more information, those ones are pure relaxation. I like watching chaos get turned into order, it motivates me to get my own shit together. I can give you recommendations for those channels as well if you want.

You're welcome begone 😊

Well-done. Every little helps!

Still catching up with the thread.

Still got vertigo but tablets are helping.
Still driving 300 miles a week. (Costly) Now filling up each time.

Easter holidays. Supposed to be cleaning the bathroom mould but feeling a bit shit as I didn't sleep last night.

Had Saturday off. Spent Sunday with family.

DD has washed up. I've put pots away. Still nowhere near finished. We've collected washing up from different rooms.

Sent down a carrier bag of recycling. One more waiting to go if the bin was emptied today.

Sent down kitchen bin and bathroom bin plus some rubbish from dd's room.

Started the bathroom ceiling yesterday.

We've done a bit of tidying in dd's room. It's nowhere near tidy but slightly less bad. (Took out some rubbish and some recycling.

I've put some of my laundry away in the ottoman. I do not need more fleeces.

I've folded ds's washing and checked what clothes we have clean.

I've started tidying the washing drying corner of the living room. Lots of the stuff from under the sink is dumped there. (Leaky tap, then leaky drain) Still waiting for buying a washing machine. There has been lots of hoovering dusty socks. Put some of the sponges, bin bags in clip close boxes. Do not want a repeat of the leaky drain.

Like a previous poster I have empty pop/water bottles lying about and vague notions of filling them up for water storage, but have bottled water stored upstairs, lots of pop, juice and soya milk. They have to go.

I've found a box of washing powder to donate to a friend as I no longer use it.

I actually found multiple photocopies of an article about my great-grandfather's death in a mining disaster. I have no recollection of copying them. Must have made copies for my cousins and then forgotten about them.

I have passed a copy on to two cousins and a third will get her copy later this month.

Yes, we can safely say that I have a hoarding problem.

Confession: I'm paying rent for a lock-up that my husband rented. I don't know for certain what's inside. I tried to open it up and the council appear to have painted over the lock.

The locksmith we used to use no longer goes out and about - he only cuts keys these days. He advised me to complain to the council, but I don't think I can face up to it: I have no idea when they painted over the damned thing...I've just been paying the rent. Yes, I know.

I think I'll just have to get another locksmith...Or maybe check with the council first in case I get charged for damaging the lock. Aaaargh.