Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #9. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight.

[Solo]

We are a group of likeminded householders who are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine is), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (me too) that means sorting out our households is challenging to say the least. So...
You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be a huge challenge; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them, or it belonged to mum or gran. This is tough stuff to deal with.
Encouragement and support abound here in our band of clutterbugs. We never ever criticise anyone! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult to achieve.
We hold one another's hands, dab away tears, and snot virtually.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganisation and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will support you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises. If you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, we're here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement. Every small step is an achievement.
My own journey is very long, I've tried to get it done, bug it's a work in progress. Single working mum (children now both over 18, but youngest has many physical issues as well as ADHD and ASD). I have chronic illness, and am in my 62nd year on the planet, so I need to deal with it. The point is. You aren't alone if you are also suffering.

Some helpful links which I hope are still valid. They aren't for everyone, but have a look if you fancy:
• Help For Hoarders by Jasmine Harman (the author/producer of the BBC1 documentaries My Hoarder Mum and Me and Britain's Biggest Hoarders)
• The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
• The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
• The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
• A Slob Comes Clean by Dana K. White
• The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

I'm not sure if The Flylady link is working, but if not, you know what to search for.
Welcome to thread #8 of Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight (and winning, one small step at a time).

Decluttering Expert: Dana K White of A Slob Comes Clean
Learn more about decluttering expert Dana K. White and her cleaning and organizing blog: A Slob Comes Clean. Author, podcaster, blogger and YouTuber.
https://www.aslobcomesclean.com/about-me/

Hi all. How are you doing?

I have donated the good shoes to kids who may need stuff for their school prom. Very pleased about that. The charity shop don't get them this time though.
Did some shopping today. I don't food shop all the time. But I did need a few things.

Refuse out for collection this morning.
Washing up done.

Keep on keeping on.

Refuse out for collection in the morning - garden and landfill.

Finally managed to find an optician that takes old spectacles for charity. (The local ones no longer do that.)

Was in Edinburgh today and there are opticians there that will take specs for the Lions' Club, so took in one pair of Mum's glasses and one pair of DH's. The cases will have to go for landfill, I'm afraid.

I'm slowly chipping away at it all Solo. Pulled out a drawer full of clothes I hadn't been able to easily get into in years, so had been ignoring. Two items in the wrong place were returned to their rightful home. One third of the drawer contents was an immediate keep, one third was keep if it still fits and the last third was trying on to see if it fits and I still like it. Three items were an immediate donate, so that's at least something guaranteed to be gone. Potentially upto two thirds of that drawer will go if I don't like it or it doesn't fit. It's all summer clothes so I'll get round to trying it out soon. Some of it I remember buying about 15 years ago and still has the tags on.

Hit the "wall" last night after a busy week and still had to function today. I knew I would feel shit today but it's still not easy to deal with overwhelm/lack of spoons )

Today:
driving 90 miles
Petrol (gone back up again after a brief dip)
Asda top up shop

Washed up lots of crockery as we were nearly out of clean stuff. (And actual spoons as the boy gets through loads)

Took a load of washing to ex's and washed it and brought it back upstairs.

Bagged up recycling and some rubbish. (DD helped)

Mowed half a small lawn by push mower then abandoned the mower as found far too much fox poo. Ex's garden, ex's job.

Been to a funeral this week and sorting out some financial stuff for HMRC. Plus two social occasions and one last weekend. Hence overwhelm.

@WearyAuldWumman well done getting those gone. wish I could find an optician to take old specs. I have quite a lot. I'm just loathed to bin them.

@BlueSummerBaby that's brilliant. Well done you! I hate clothes these days. I used to be lovely and slim and wore clothes well. Nowadays, they wear me, and I look absolutely rubbish. Going out tonight and struggling to find something nice to wear - especially footwear. If I got rid of all clothing that I can't wear, I'd have next to nothing in the wardrobes. Dd has also gained weight, so my beautiful clothes that she could wear, now don't fit her. She has PCOS amongst many other diagosed problems, so I don't know what she can do. The issue I have with getting rid is the quality of them.

@BlackeyedSusan I definitely hear you re the lack of spoons. I'm sorry for you.
Could Dd do your washing up daily, or every other day to keep on top of it? It's probably the only job I almost always do now before bed. It's a good feeling getting up to an empty sink. I know you have a lot on your plate, so feel free to ignore.

I've washed the dishes this morning. I was too tired last night.
2 wash loads done. One lot dried overnight. Just about to strip off the bed linen and remake with clean linen.

Has anyone seen anything from @Elleherd ?

Sending love and support to you all.

Keep on keeping on.

I hear you with the clothes quality Solo. The thing is though, that if they're never likely to fit either you or DD again then there's really no point in keeping them. I'd donate them or ask DD to sell them (I'm guessing you wouldn't have time for that yourself). Then get yourselves things that fit. If you want nice quality I find Gudrun Sjoden to be ok, I like the natural fibres and although some of the colours and patterns are bright and loud, and would, as you said "wear you", many are muted colours and plain neutrals too. They'd definitely fit larger people, I'm size 12 and even the small stuff is oversized on me. They have regular sales too. I'd look at slowly building yourself a capsule wardrobe from there (it's all designed for layering so will suit all seasons) so you're not despairing about how you look, it's so dispiriting to feel bad about how you look and doesn't help motivate to do anything else.
Your DD could perhaps look at hormonal contraception to see if that would help her symptoms at all, I'm not sure what the treatment is for PCOS but there should be help for some of the symptoms at least. I've heard proper salon lazer hair removal is effective, though expensive, if there's excessive facial hair.
For the glasses, if they're metal you could pop out the lenses and put the frames into the recycling. For plastic ones, plastic deteriorates over time and becomes brittle anyway so if you're never going to use the glasses I would just bin them, you're only making your house the landfill where they sit to deteriorate otherwise. The fact is there isn't always someone wanting our unwanted items, some things really do just need to be binned.
I only know elleherd from this thread, I don't know her IRL or message her anywhere else.

Thanks for thinking of me. I've actually been home from hospital for about an hour.
About three weeks ago I said I'd respond to @BlueSummerBaby's post another time, as it was an important post but I had so much to try to fit into the day.

What I didn't say was I was feeling very strange and struggling to think. (hadn't realized it was about to matter)

Reluctantly presented at a & e in the end, and got stuck in hospital again.
I was supposed to be out yesterday, but it took so long to get everything from the pharmacy, I've only just made it home, but hooked up to uncomfortable stuff and moving around is painful.

TBH I'm also back to a worse mess, and it sounds like aunts hasn't got any better either. I'm trying to work out how to sort things without putting too much stain on myself. Something has to give, but at the moment everyone else seems to feel they aren't in any better shape, or have more time or energy either, and contractors and landlord breathing down my neck for access, and dire finances. No real answers.
Hope everyone's having a productive or nice day at least.
About to start with hitting the launderette and will catch up thread properly later.

@Elleherd glad to hear from you and that you’re out of hospital - sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time and wishing you strength 💐

@BlueSummerBaby Of course, I know you're right re the clothes, and the specs. I just find it very difficult to do. Plus Dd not wanting me to get rid of the clothing. Thank you for the recommendation re the quality clothes, and I'll definitely think about the glasses frames. It makes perfect sense.
Re Dds PCOS, she did look at the mini pill, but doesn't want to do anything like that. She's much like me when it comes to medication. So far, she hasn't got dark facial hair. I don't think my niece has either with the same issue, and she's 12 years older than Dd. Hoping that won't occur as Dd has so many health issues to deal with. A beard on top of that would break her, I think.

@Elleherd it's very good to hear from you. I hope that whatever waa the issue is at least better than it was. So I'm echoing @FiniteSagacity in wishing you strength. I know it's hard not to when you feel so much pressure, but try not to overdo it.

I've left work earlier than I usually do today. I don't often use the spoons analogy, but I think I've run out of them right now. I did spend a lot of the weekend asleep (again).

I think I'm going to eat something, and clean something.

Keep on keeping on.

Washing up done (breakfast things). Had a bite to eat for lunch.
Thoroughly cleaned the bath, basin, window and sill, two glass shelves, all the bottles and items on the window sill and shelves. Sorted through the smaller cabinet and got shot of some stuff in there. Still got a lot to do in there, but it looks a lot better. Some bottles into recycling.
Cooked myself dinner and washed up. Got the morning things ready for tomorrow.

Hello@Jaffapaffa, I'd strongly advise you to give yourself a date to be out of storage, and stick to it. If you don't you'll end up where I and others have, huge amounts of money down the drain, and the longer you're in storage the more likely things going wrong their end become.
Storage is only good in an emergency as a temporary thing if you can be organized with it, and while it's on half price, etc, offers. It can also be good for 'breaking the bond' between people and possessions. for some.
Outside of that it just becomes a trap which we pay for to continue to not address the problem.

Talking of storage, I'm in real trouble finding this months money and still haven't sorted out either the damaged storage units into new ones, or downsizing, and have earned nothing while ll..

Not done much over the week, mainly working out what's what with contractors and bills. BHWeekend has been impossible to do anything meaningful as everyone's been around.
Basics and launderette have been managed, and a bit of weeding which doesn't show, but the lack of it would quickly. Re-potted some plants, a tiny bit of recyling, and tested sanding down some rough work done by contractors. (result looks hopeful) It isn't much in the grand scheme of things, but is a start.

Today I have to get back to it all properly. No contractors expected so going to aunts first, for an up to date overview of what needs doing there and don't get blindsided later.

Hello @Elleherd
DH passed away a couple of days after I posted, and so storage decisions are remaining on the back burner until after the funeral.
I can't even start to think about what needs to go out at the moment, although I do know that I will have to face it at some point.

On the plus side I have cleaned out my kitchen cupboards and thrown away items that are out of date. Things that I won't eat (because they were DH's choices) have been given away.

And I have sorted out some of DH's clothes, but found it too hard to do more than an hour or so.

But several bags have left the house.

Came in to say waylaid by contractors supervisor wanting to organize access and about to go off late to aunts.

@Jaffapaffa I'm so sorry. I think you're doing amazingly to have been trying, let alone succeeding, in tackling any of it in the circumstances.
A huge well done to you.

Sorry for your loss Jaffa

@Jaffapaffa . I'm so sorry for your loss. As @Elleherd said, you've done amazingly well to do all you've done under the circumstances. Please take care of yourself. Remember to breathe, and remember to eat. Sending huge hugs to you. X

@Jaffapaffa I am so sorry.

Thinking off you, @Jaffapaffa and hoping things are manageable.

Update: today's big job is going to be emptying a storage unit. It's all going to have to go home and into one room, ready or not, and try and sort from there. Fingers crossed contractors don't need access
I have to urgently reduce this months bill.

Aunt's is a bit of a disaster which wasn't unexpected tbh, she hasn't been doing too well but suspect most of it will pass. But I don't have the energy to do that much about things, (neither does she) so it's try to sort the worst and set her back up so she can manage things better, and kick the can down the road again.

Still haven't managed to fix her washing machine so ended up taking all her bedding to our launderette, washed and dried it and between us got her a fresh bed made. Left her curtains, towels, dressing gown, and some clothes, soaking overnight, and will hopefully fit in another launderette run today somehow.
.

Bits of aunts stuff that missed the launderette on Wednesday got done this morning, along with this weeks washing, so caught up on that at least.
I'm even more unfit than I thought and didn't manage to empty the storage unit, so doing more today.
Hope others are having a productive weekend.

I really identify with this thread! I’m living the nightmare of trying to sell my house when I have 30 years of clutter in it. Can anyone advise how many pairs of knee socks I should keep? I wear them every day in the winter months. I currently have at least 40 pairs which must be too many but I need some sensible guidance as to how many I should keep!!! Please help.

Hi, I'd suggest whatever your washing cycle is plus two. So if you do a wash every week, it's seven plus the pair you're wearing, and one spare; total nine.
Remove any with holes, loose elastic, developing bobbles, etc, choose from what's left.

Couldn't get into storage unit yesterday, gates functioned and disabled access is through the car park.
Ended up sorting a couple of kitchen drawers and chucking some accumulated clutter, and going over and cleaning mold from the bits of aunt's window frames that I could get at. This morning am expecting to go back with the right tools and get her lining curtains back up, (easy enough) and her main curtains down (not so easy) and washed, and the harder to reach bits of her window frames cleaned and bleach them to inhibit mold. Fingers crossed.

30 years of clutter accumulation was my starting point too princess. Things are looking much better here now. You'll get there. For socks I like spares. So I'd go with 14 pairs. Get rid of any that aren't perfect.
Don't get hung up on it though, making progress of any kind is the key. If all you can let go of is 5 pairs, then do that and move onto another category of items. You'll eventually wear the socks out and get through them anyway, if you're wearing them daily. You've probably got other items in your home that you'll never use, so those things are a bigger deal and you might do better focusing your energies there, instead of using procrastinating over deciding the perfect number of something small like socks as a distraction from dealing with other things.

@Princessfluffy welcome to our thread and support group 🙂. I'd also go with the 14 pairs, but @Elleherd makes good sense too. I suppose it's what you feel comfortable about getting rid of. I have a big carrier bag of mostly odd socks which will be going.

Well done to everyone that got stuff done over the weekend. I only got the laundry done, although I need to get a load in this evening. I have kept up with the washing up, and have fed Dd and me. I also wiped two wet patches in the fridge so that they didn't get worse.
Cooking dinner right now.
I have a friend coming to help get the garden strimmed next week. Ordered weed suppressing membrane, week killer etc, and hope it'll stay gone. I'd like to grow veggies, but no longer have a green house due to vandals years ago.

Keep on keeping on.

.@Princessfluffy BlueSummerBaby makes a really important point about how easily we procrastinate (or redirect our energy and attention) over one thing as a distraction from dealing with other things. Some of us know (or at least if we think about it) that we are doing it, but usually only as a result of doing it without knowing for a very long time.

@Solo Plastic greenhouse? If you look after them and do running repairs, they last 3 to 5 years. (generally just 1 if you don't)
I'm afraid generally the only thing that truly stops weeds returning, is either permanent cover, or frequent attention.

Still waiting on news of storage unit gates being fixed, but it's going to be deducted from the rent at least.
Yesterday got the rest of the insides of Aunts main windows completed.
All the mold's removed, cleaned, treated, and all curtains have been down, washed, dried and rehung. I broke a couple of her curtain clips and ended up replacing them with paper clips as off course she couldn't find the spares she's held onto for years for exactly that day...
Almost everything that had to be moved to achieve it, has also had to go back in front of them, so if she doesn't keep things moving it's just going to come back.
Still need to do her kitchen windows, and if possible something about the outsides while her immediate neighbors away, as they're notably filthy but there's no money for a window cleaner.
I managed to do mine after the worst of the builders mess with a hose and a mop and squeegee on a long pole, but it was a messy process that drew a lot of attention, so only going to attempt it if her neighbors are definitely away and if I still can't get access to the storage unit I want to clear, otherwise today's going to be trying to clear that.

solo I grew vegetables on an allotment without a greenhouse. Plenty grew just fine, so don't be put off by not having a greenhouse. I'm not a grower, didn't know what I was doing, just poked seeds in the soil and watered them. Remember eating carrots, lettuce, cucumber, sprouts, leeks, potatoes, beetroot, cauliflower, tomatoes, green beans, strawberries, logan berries, blackberries, raspberries, gooseberries. Slugs ate some things but a lot survived and was harvested. Have also heard of someone who threw the Halloween pumpkins into a rough patch of garden to rot down and found they had their own home grown Halloween pumpkins next year, so I guess they're easy to grow too!

Hello, just place marking. I have so much stuff to get rid of! Feel like just hiring a skip!