Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight.

[Solo]

We are a group of likeminded householders who are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine is), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (me too) that means sorting out our households is challenging to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.

Encouragement and support abound here in our band of clutterbugs. We never ever criticise anyone! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult to achieve.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganization and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises. If you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement

Some helpful links. They aren't for everyone, but have a look if you fancy:

• Help For Hoarders by Jasmine Harman (the author/producer of the BBC1 documentaries My Hoarder Mum and Me and Britain's Biggest Hoarders)
• The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
• The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
• The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
• A Slob Comes Clean by Dana K. White
• The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

And a LINK-#7

I'm not sure if The Flylady link is working, but if not, you know what to search for.

Welcome to thread #8 of Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight (and winning, one small step at a time).

Checking in.

I'm checking in too. The house is a mess, seems to have got out of hand this last couple of weeks. This weekend is going to be a cleaning, tidying and sorting weekend. I was going to try and get a start today but it's DS's school sports day 😩😩😩 An ordeal I could do without, but DS will be really pleased to see me there. The things we endure!

Checking in too.
Managed to move some of the contents of storage unit to new one last night and have been doing it carefully, but it's leaving me in so much pain and unable to move, that I'm having to do small amounts at a time than I need to, to be able to do any other work afterwards. I have a meeting today and am struggling to self propel.
There's no time to go through stuff while moving, but did spot and chuck a pair of shoes that are beyond recycling, and offed a jar of stuff to a friend.
Only another several hundred thousand + items to go...

Hi everyone, it's been a while since I posted - it's not been great, just so very very busy. Anyway the last 2-3 weeks I've cleared out the glass and booze cupboard and the mugs. Two bags of old worn jackets and old work tshirts went to the clothes bank.

Got a busy weekend coming up but hope to get another couple of bags of old clothes ready to go, got a box of tombola and charity bits that I'll take to a volunteer on Saturday so that will clear some more space in the hall.

Checking in and wishing strength to you all in your struggles 💐 Everyone sharing their stories and encouragement here has been an immense help to me and I’ve learned some great tips along the way.

@Solo thank you for the great intro to the new thread and for helping us all in keeping on, keeping on in the face of your own challenges.

A Dana K White podcast is a lifeline when working on clearing stuff and I’d add that Brené Brown’s work (on shame and perfectionism) has helped me understand myself so her books/audio books are highly recommended.

I’m slowly working my way through two homes, my own and hoarding parent’s house. There is now a deadline on the latter as it must be sold to pay for care.

So I have no excuses for a lack of motivation because I’ve seen what happens if I don’t get on top of my own struggles - but I have work and DCs and therefore very little time. I’m also aware of my need to be extremely carefully not to add another person’s hoard to my own.

BlueSummerBaby Hello!

Elleherd sending ((hugs)) and support. You do worry me; you do soo much!

Castlerigg good luck with the weekend challenges.

Defender90 it sounds like you have been busy and will be again this weekend. Good luck!

FiniteSagacity I'm also of the mind that I need to sort out mine because I've seen how bad Mum's got. I did so much work on hers 2 years ago, and she now wants to put more furniture in her living room. She doesn't have the space for more, but the worst of it is that she wants to put cheap stuff in like she had before. She's got beautiful oak furniture now. And she's sworn my brother to secrecy from me but of course, he's told me. I just don't know how to stop her from making a colossally stupid mistake.

So, for me...I'm feeling much better, but not well enough that I could go to an event that I'd booked the day off for today. I've vegged out in front of the telly. I'm hoping to do a bit tomorrow.

@Solo the fatigue is the worst part of Covid-19 infection. It just takes so long to feel yourself again. Wishing you strength ☕️

I’m trying to find my mojo between tackling a laundry mountain. I have half a bag of clothes for a charity collection coming next week. But my airing cupboard is full and there’s nowhere to put the clean laundry so I need to do the math as DCs must have grown out of more than I’ve got so far.

Hello! Cluttered house here. I am tackling a pile today but the tinnitus doesn't help.

Checking in as I have no clue where to start! Huge task ahead of me as we want to move next year!

Hello Calling and Notgivingup. If it feels overwhelming start small. It doesn't matter where. Could be your most problematic area, the least emotional items, or if the place is generally a tip you could start with doing all the washing up or collecting all the rubbish. I found it helpful to have some criteria for when something is rubbish. For me that was clothes that had faded, lost their shape, gone bobbly or ripped. For items it was things that were broken to be repaired "someday", things I'd already replaced but was keeping as a (realistically unnecessary) spare and "just in case" items. In case of what, exactly? I'm frugal, sensible and good at budgeting. If I was going to have to become bankrupt, break or wear out the new item and all the manufacturers were going to have to stop making any version of it before I was going to require the spare, then it's probably never going to be used because those circumstances are extremely unlikely to occur. Decluttering is exhausting and overwhelming because of all the thinking involved but once your mindset starts to shift it gets easier and easier to let go of things. Good luck.

I've made a decision to start limiting my choices. For example, I like to paint but I can fulfill that desire with one type of paint instead of the 4 types I currently own. I'm not planning to get rid of what I have but going forward I won't replace 3 types, I don't need that level of choice to have a happy life. Similarly I've decided to buy only full length trousers and maxi skirts going forward, which I've always worn and liked, then I can dispense with the incessant hair removal and have less products in the bathroom too. I don't need a wardrobe full of every type of clothing in order to be suitably dressed and happy. At this point it's more of a plan to limit what comes in than to get rid of what I've currently got, but it's progress.

Can I join in even if the clutter isn't mine, I live with DH and two teenagers in a renovation home. I feel totally overwhelmed sometimes, so tips and motivation are needed.

I'm the tidy one, and it takes all of my strength to not just let it all go to shit for an easy life.

That must be hard Stripes. You're welcome here, of course. You might want to read some earlier threads for general tips and better understanding of hoarder behaviour, there's been a lot of discussion amongst us. If there's anything in particular you want to know just ask. It must drive you insane as a neat freak. One thing I'm glad of is that most of the clutter is mine and I'm an organised hoarder so there's no untidiness, I couldn't bear that either. It's one of the reasons I started this journey to declutter, because I'd reached the point of being so full I was struggling to keep it all tidy.

Hi and love to all.

Have done a couple hours today cleaning and tidying the house and out front which was beginning to be more of a garden than drive. Hopefully have time and motivation to do a bit more the next couple of days to make proper inroads as still long way to go.

Feeling quite motivated and optimistic (touch wood) for a change.

Welcome new people , Yes, definitely read some previous threads for more inspiration; the link to the last thread is in the introduction post, and each one has a link to the one before and the next one along.

Covid is still making me feel like I'm in an ME relapse even though I'm not still ill with it. It's a horrible mutation this time. And yes, the fatigue!!!

Not too much done here. Washing up is still under control. Laundry done. Cleaned the bath and basin during the week.
I managed to break the runner on one of only two drawers in my kitchen. I emptied the drawer and washed the cutlery that was in there (not much, most of it gets rotated on the drainer. Use, wash, drain, repeat). There was a lot of dropped food in the cutlery holder in the drawer which all got cleaned up and put back. I even cleared the cutlery from the drainer and put it away. The drawer at any rate looks clean and tidy! Before that though, I dropped all the ball bearings out of one side of the drawer runners. Argh! Took me an age to locate (most of) them and then dropped two out when I got it all back together, and by that time, I had had enough and didn't bother with the two escapees. I took some tins out of the cupboard underneath the drawer. They must have got wet at some point and have rusted! I've cleaned them, but somehow I think they are going to be binned.
I haven't done much else. Nothing will get done tomorrow as I'm out.

Oh wow thread 8 already!
I am signing back in. I’ve done nothing since I posted the other week really and I’m utterly overwhelmed at the moment. Really panicking that I just can’t do this on my own.

DS (14 and lovely but not the most tactful) made another comment about DH looking after the house better. Which is true in a way. It’s not like it was anywhere near perfect before he moved out, but clearly that little bit of decline is enough to make a visible difference (I do realise it’s also a way of him saying he wants his dad to move back in 😞)

I feel like such a failure and all my usual coping mechanisms are failing me too!

It's early days Sing you'll adjust

@SingToTheSky you will get there. It's all a massive change for you and your Dcs. Try not to let it get too out of hand, and don't put too much pressure on yourself. The children will still see their dad, just just can't share your space with him anymore.

Cooker top clean along with the drip catchers, pan-stands, front panel, and the knobs. Oven needs cleaning, but to be honest, my cooker is 40 years old and the oven isn't working properly. I think the seals are no good and it's not holding the heat well. So do I try to get it repaired or do I get rid and buy a likely inferior cooker?
Kitchen sink clean-ish, but needs extra attention. It's white and nearly 30 years old, so not very white anymore.
Bathroom basin cleaned.
Bath cleaned.
Bedding changed and washed.
Recycling out in wheelie bin.
3 1/2 weeks until my holiday and I'd really like to get more done before I go because one of my double wall cupboards is coming off the wall (eek), so I need that dealing with urgently.
Laundry was up to date until Dd came home from her grandma's house after a week.

Defender90 well done! That sounds like fair progress going on.

FiniteSagacity yes, one of the hardest things in clearing loved ones homes is not allowing too much of their hoard now become yours. Hope the charity bag sweep was successful.

Hello and welcome to Calling, Notgivingup, blackandwhitestripes

TalkToTheHand123 No hoarding the motivation! Share it around.

SingToTheSky These things wound heavily, but you know if he’s old enough to comment hes also old enough to be gently told he’s right and asked what he thinks he might be able to do to help things stay tidier. You are making a major adjustment; it’s bound to hit some bumps.

BlueSummerBaby Some sensible decision making there. Not replacing and adding stops accidental de-cluttering churning. I managed the unthinkable and let a voucher and a £15 for £10 offer go to ‘waste’ last week.

Solo Covid left me really exhausted too. Sounds like you’re doing well staying pretty on top of things even if it keeps coming.

Replacing cooker seals yourself isn’t that hard, but on a 40 yr old oven you may find you need some extra cleaning time if the seals have eroded slowly. If you go for it yourself, two tips: some ovens have a small screw holding the seal in, and if the new seal is a bit stiff to get round, put it in a bowl of hot water, problem solved.

I’m ridiculously tired, just beyond exhaustion and in total chaos here on all fronts, and almost everything has got away from me.
But the never-ending contract is completed, not all of it brilliantly tbh but hopefully all should be satisfactory. They’ve certainly had their money’s worth and a lot more. I’m delivering the last items today and have to wait up to 30 days for payment, to be financially no longer sitting on the cliff edge, and with reputation standing. Sadly, over the last couple of weeks another two potential contractors have thrown the towel in and closed, so worrying times.

Hopefully when the dust settles it’s the beginning of a lot of changes that I’ve been waiting since the beginning of the year to start being able to enact, and I'll be able to manufacture up some of that new year/ new start energy.
I’d like to sit back and enjoy the moment, but reality means I’m straight on to applying for a (much smaller) piece of work today, while there is still any actually available to apply for!
Hopefully this evening I can start looking at all the things that desperately need sorting out and putting them in order of importance.
Somewhat battle weary, but onwards and upwards, and putting one foot in front of the other until it gets us somewhere else.

Aww @Elleherd . I seem to have lost a lot of motivation recently although not had much time to tidy either last few days.

@Solo
If the cooker/oven is 40 years old, then a new one will probably be a lot more energy efficient, as manufacturers need to adhere to different standards.
The energy cost in the long run could be higher than the price of a new (or 2nd hand but newer) model.

@Elleherd Thank you for the tips & encouragement re replacing the oven seal. I absolutely love my cooker. But I can't get parts for it. It looks tatty, but she's been so faithful. She's solid and (apart from the current oven seal) dependable.

Congrats on completing your work .

@ForestAtTheSea I know new cookers are more efficient, but my current gas bill (the cooker is all gas) is £15 a month, so I'm not too worried about that. On the other hand, I know that new cookers are expensive and flimsy, so I'm a bit worried about that side of things if I were to replace mine. I have been thinking about it for some years, but that was because the tops of the spreaders have been disintegrating for many years. The oven issue is more recent.

I'm still struggling with exhaustion and overwhelm. Only the laundry has been washed today. I did cook a meal this evening. I don't know if anything else will be done tomorrow.

Well done for all your victories, everyone.

@Solo ah, I see now. My experience was with household appliances that run on electricity, and the difference in energy use was considerable. But with a gas oven, the situation is a bit different. I hope you'll find the seal somewhere; does the manufacturer maybe know which shops bought up leftover stock of spare parts for previous models?

TalkToTheHand123 Odd as it sounds, motivation follows action.

ForestAtTheSea Hi. Yes very different if electric, plus so much more to go wrong as they age.
I've kept my ancient beasty going partly because why not as it does the job, it's so basic there's little to go wrong on it, and partly I keep hearing rumbles about SH tenants not being allowed them in the future and we'll be require to go electric to bolster SH eco credentials.

Solo Hear you on the exhaustion and overwhelm, as well as the love of the dependable.
These people are good: https://www.cookerspareparts.com/search/door-seals---gaskets?pageNumber=1

But TBH all though it means a bit more research into your door specs, (corner shapes, how many holes, and depth of groove) I actually used a cheap and cheerful universal one and a tiny dab of silicone adhesive, all at less that a tenner a few years back. Has happily done job.

Last two days have gone to getting ancient vehicle through MOT, more exhaustion and a sheet full of advisories but good for another year.

Got the new work (big as now so many of us chasing the same dwindling work, and will pay fast) and that starts Monday so no time to work out much of what needs doing, just keep going for now.
Launderette happened this morning, including duvet and mattress protector
and about to go tackle aunts garden as the more urgent of the jungles, (not helped by youths are causing issues again) and then try and move more storage unit, and prep for Monday later.

Hi all. I somehow managed to get stuck in today. Done some weeding on the drive to keep on top of it and have sorted a few bags in the bedroom. Did a couple of washloads so just waiting to dry to sort and put away. Doing a little tidy as I go too.

House looking a little less horrific.

Manufacturers don't keep spares or any stocks anywhere after an item is 30 years old. I spent a lot of time trying to find the spreaders. Sad really. Thanks for the suggestion though. I appreciate it.