Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight.

[Solo]

We are a group of likeminded householders who are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine is), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (me too) that means sorting out our households is challenging to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.

Encouragement and support abound here in our band of clutterbugs. We never ever criticise anyone! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult to achieve.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganization and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises. If you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement

Some helpful links. They aren't for everyone, but have a look if you fancy:

• Help For Hoarders by Jasmine Harman (the author/producer of the BBC1 documentaries My Hoarder Mum and Me and Britain's Biggest Hoarders)
• The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
• The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
• The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
• A Slob Comes Clean by Dana K. White
• The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

And a LINK-#7

I'm not sure if The Flylady link is working, but if not, you know what to search for.

Welcome to thread #8 of Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight (and winning, one small step at a time).

Thanks to everyone for your kind responses and @BlueSummerBaby for the YouTube tips - I will take a look.

out of curiosity; what are peoples feelings around books? I am a bit of a bibliophile and love the be surrounded by them but i am noticing I’m not that keen on many on my shelves anymore. I’ve either read them and they were meh or never got round to it and now feel guilty about it. Is there an optimal approach to books?! I don’t beleieve in a house without quite a few but equally don’t want them to make me feel guilty.

I actually started listening to a hoarding podcast today while I wrapped up two things for Vinted and tidied the house. I managed to tidy the front garden a bit, do the dishes, cook a meal, and tidy the mantelpiece of the millions of little bud vases I collect. Also re-listed a bundle of clothes on eBay, and started a charity pile for books. So quite a good day. Didn’t get much work done tho lol.

@BlackeyedSusan that situation sounds very difficult 😞

Just coming in the early hours to say Susan! Yeah! Pleased to see you. It can't really be two years can it? Time does strange things! I've thought of you a fair bit and hoped things might be a bit kinder for you, but it rarely works that way.

You got them through the drama's of GCSE and A levels. Well done you, no mean feat in your and their situation.

"We are in the "Every little bit helps" mode of stopping it getting worse so fast! And maybe turning the tide a little!" Yep that's going on here too.
Glad to see you back, but sorry your circumstances didn't improve.

and also KingArthur if you could just click your fingers and do it you wouldn't be here. You sound like painful as it is, you're making good progress in letting go of stuff. Well done! Yes being at it constantly and working is very exhausting and you will feel flat if you're working through the night. Pot talking to the kettle as you can see, but try to get some sleep even if it's a couple of hours snatched hear and there.
I will continue to send you and will you strength and fortitude to create what you need. You can do this.

The broken ribs are slowing me down badly and are very painful, and the heat is exacerbating the breathing problems and I've had to agree to work tomorrow and Wednesday to make up for how slow I am and to get all the work done.

Wil try and catch up with everyone else's progress and posts in the morning, or worst case after work. Keep on keeping on!

@KingArthur1964 you are doing brilliantly getting rid of old papers and stuff. Get some sleep. Then would your brother come and help you one day? Maybe he could help move heavier stuff for you. Another thought are there any students near you you could pay to come and work with you for a half day? I've found I get more done when I rope in some help. I get my younger son who lives nearby to come over and go through the garage and conservatory and also he can lift heavier stuff I can't.

TalkToTheHand123 Hope you enjoyed the holiday even if the cabin was challenging. Sometimes coming back can lead to just seeing a giant task rather than knowing what the priorities are.
I’m afraid I am one of the ignorant neighbours allowing the greenery to go over. On the other hand the remains of my actual fence still lies crushed beneath their giant fallen tree as I wait for it to rot down enough to try shifting it. I strung wire fencing where the fence used to be and let the ivy take it over, as their XL bully can be very unpredictable, and rips it’s way through whenever it feels like it.

Thehillsarealive Congratulations on selling the jewellery and doing a grab and run to the charity shop. Hard day to be shed clearing, but well done for tackling it regardless. Hope limb recovers soon.
Cream The dopamine rush from acquisition is more complicated, dopamine itself is not directly responsible for the sensation of pleasure, it’s a neurotransmitter that tells your brain to repeat a behaviour. If you’re interested I’ll try and post properly on it at some time, but it boils down to the brain is wired to reward unexpected easy ‘gains’ and the behaviours around them so that if early not very complex us, discovered say collectable rosehips grew in a particular place, we would want to return and gather that free vitamin C. The dopamine ‘rush’ is triggered by thinking about visiting, preparing to visit, visiting, and successful acquisition. It may also be triggered later by eating them. Even if unsuccessful we get the ‘hits’ preceding it.

I’m afraid I don’t know any sites etc that lay things out easily, I spent a lot of time researching hoarding in academic publications (even then there’s a lot of rubbish to wade through)

My own solution was initially to go cold turkey on visiting all but totally necessary shops and avoid all supermarket aisles that weren’t actually needed. It was a miserable period of time, but it showed me a lot of my associated behaviors going on too. I’ve done a lot of work on my thought processes of what constitutes a bargain, if I’m always only allowed to have things if they’re cheap enough etc, ect.
I do love books and have some fabulous ones! But if you rate a book as ‘meh’ it doesn’t deserve shelf space. Set it free, someone else might get joy or use from it.

Solo yes there’s a quite short time limit on being able to use the edit button. Try and enjoy the break. Good to see the one in one out policy traveling with you.🙂

I finally finished work and got home at nine last night with the knowledge I'm going to have to do another two full days to make up for how slow I’ve been the last two because of the broken ribs. It's very physical and I’m just not that productive. Ended up doing paper work in the middle of the night, so only got four hours actual sleep, but can blame heat as well as pain and worry! No time to do anything this morning, c’est la vie.

thanks for posting and responding to so many individuals Elleherd, hope you have more sleep tonight!

Peacemaking. I'm getting better at de-cluttering but I'd like to blitz more before winter arrives.

Two weeks of active holiday have left me with fatigue...which is annoying as I want to get on with sorting out. Moving my body hurts though.

Hi MouseofCommons I have to be doing the same very soon if I'm right about imminent building works.

Susan sympathies and it won't fix things, but stretching exercises may help a bit.
I've had to work yesterday and today, to make up for how little I actually achieved on Sunday and Monday which I was paid for, and can't with a clean conscience say tough luck over.
Yesterday after work, managed to cut and remove three black sacks of greenery from aunts garden, still messy but clearly not abandoned. (unlike ours tbh!)
Also cleared up another broken bottle and gas canisters left by invading smoking yout's.

Collected a lot of seed heads for her to start for next year, and there's such an abundance I have some too if I can clear a patch for them at ours.

I'm breathing through an overwhelm.

Trying to move from looking at it all to doing just one thing at a time.

I'm going to go and do something I want to sort out...as that is better than not being able to do the thing I should sort out!

yes, sometimes it’s better to just follow your energy, and then success will hopefully breed success. I’ve been flitting between things today but there has been progress.

Well done to everyone whose managed so far. I can’t seem to get motivated. I’ve spent all day with the kids and trying to stop them bickering! I can’t leave them alone for 2 mins. I’m going to try and do some declutter when they sleep. I cannot even open the study room upstairs. It’s piled high with books and files.

Susan every step of of progress, is just that, regardless of what it is. Hope you achieved it.

Thehillsarealive as above, progress is progress.

Good luck Crazee Meee* it is very difficult while child wrangling.

Big declutter here is the vehicle contents, courtesy of a sudden overnight trip to France. They say a change is as good as a rest, so...
About to head to Dover and see.

Re books as asked above:i used to always keep books but now I’m more easy come easy go. I generally listen to audiobooks these days (through my local county libraries free app and audible). If I buy hard copy I almost always buy second hand. I sold a lot of books a few years ago in a big cull , checked the prices on the different sites (ziffit, webuybooks, music magpie) generally they’re not worth much but it’s easy to box them up, some companies collect and the money does add up.

If paperbacks are kept for decades then they do deteriorate so I tend to let them go while they still have life/glue in them. One or two I changed my mind about so I just bought them second hand again. I do keep some that seem very tied to who I am but I’ve leant to let go off the ones I’d hoped my DC would come to enjoy had because they’re sadly not persuadable!

So in essence, knowing they’ll just detiorate anyway if kept, getting some money for them, knowing I can buy a book again cheaply secondhand if I do need it, and letting go of the idea that my DC and I will love the same books has allowed me to get rid of many books.

Good luck on your trip to France!

Child wrangling is hard work. Hope you managed to get something done in the end.

I did get stuff done. Not much. But a lot of washing up, if not all of it. A bag of recycling we t to ex's bin. Ours is full. (Shared)

Two carrier bags of charity shop stuff is in the boot.

A level day today...

susan
Good luck for A level Day to you and yours and anyone else on here!
Sounds like good progress yesterday

Have a lovely trip to France! Good luck for A’level day!

Hi all. A little progress today in bedroom and garden. Washed and dried two loads and got back on track with dishes.

Mindset currently is just to accept it will take a lot longer than I want and just keep trying and chipping away.

Planning is certaintly the way to go. Something I hope to improve on.

hello all,

i finally unearthed the top of the microwave again. I broke down several cardboard boxes that were taking up space in the kitchen. Machines filled and emptied several times, washing line dried. So overall a bit of progress.

Nice to see you again BlackeyedSusan I have a new name for this thread but have been on most of the others.

Keep on keeping on everyone

Hello everyone. Well done for small successes.
We returned from our holiday yesterday. It's awful walking into a horrible mess.
One wash load done. Probably 2 more to do.

Confession coming... charity shop near to where we were staying... Cath Kidston bag...£4 (there were two, I bought one). Laptop bag (because I don't have one) and a skirt for Dd. I was very restrained.
I return to work a week today and I really really want to make some use of the time. I do have to visit mum and clean for her though, but I hope I can also make a bit of difference here too.

Susan Hope A levels results were within wanted ranges and not too much stress. (and the same to anyone else dealing with them)
Well done on the de-cluttering, washing up and recycling.

TalkToTheHand Well done with getting the maintenance in order. Life has a tendency to get in the way of big plans, so chipping away can be a sensible solution.

Sameclutternewname Glad to here the microwave top is being a beacon for change again. 😀Sounds like it was nice and sunny at yours. Well done on the progress.

Solo I also have a confession. 😊 My trip turned out to encompass Belgium as well as France, and I was driving through back streets trying to find the address needed, when I went past something I've never seen before. A shop with proper vintage Christmas ornaments hanging in the window! 😍I could have blown the whole commission for the job there and then and not regretted it until the bills came in! Very restrained, I brought four very thin glass perfect condition, reflective slivers of beauty that I will cherish permanently! Child that I am I have already had so much joy from them that no regrets about the no chance of walking away or affordability.

Hope this week goes well for you and you achieve lots.

Got back Sat and weekend went to sorting vehicle, discovering I'd got a light hanging just by its cable, as well as brake caliper issues - sigh.
Managed to clear another bag of overgrowth, and a bag of rubbish from aunts garden, and had it out with a group of the lads breaking in.
Managed to take a couple of big items to storage unit as the start of trying to clear out.
But knocked myself silly and spent yesterday recovering enough to be able to do paid work today, also later this week, but the rest I have to start getting a move on with getting ready for builders and what ever it brings
.

@Elleherd ooh! You were restrained! How lovely though! 😍 I love vintage in all it's forms.

Yay to microwave top.

Definitely it will take longer than head thinks!

Also recently had the walking back into the crap after holiday. I am still unpacking.

Had a trip to rellies over an hour away taking up one day.
Yesterday was bad news and flat tyre energy sapping but did get some washing done at ex's and took kid to dad's.

A levels were fine. As she expected. She is going college as a gap between school and uni as a step towards independence.

We need to do trial runs on the bus.

Thursday is GCSE day. More scary.

I've started doing some more on the kitchen today.

Trip to mum's tomorrow to sort some garden.

Lots to do and trying not to get overwhelm which happened yesterday.

Trying to remember anything is better than nothing.

That vintage bauble place sounds magical, what a find, Elleherd!

I haven’t been away but can picture the down-sinking heart feeling when you walk back into a chaotic home after a break. I get a similar thing when I return home after visiting my super tidy friend whose place is immaculate.

Good luck for those with family/friends awaiting more exam results.

Microwave top still clear. I think tackling the piles of post on the stairs might be my next goal.

Tip for post...just do a bit and file it, otherwise you might have to resort again...

Learnt the hard way!

I got felled by dizzy sinus ears thing. Got some stuff done this morning though, including cleaning the bath/badin and picking up some rubbish.