Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight.

[Solo]

We are a group of likeminded householders who are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine is), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (me too) that means sorting out our households is challenging to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.

Encouragement and support abound here in our band of clutterbugs. We never ever criticise anyone! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult to achieve.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganization and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises. If you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement

Some helpful links. They aren't for everyone, but have a look if you fancy:

• Help For Hoarders by Jasmine Harman (the author/producer of the BBC1 documentaries My Hoarder Mum and Me and Britain's Biggest Hoarders)
• The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
• The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
• The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
• A Slob Comes Clean by Dana K. White
• The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

And a LINK-#7

I'm not sure if The Flylady link is working, but if not, you know what to search for.

Welcome to thread #8 of Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight (and winning, one small step at a time).

How're your arm and leg Elle? Hope they are recovering.

I managed to clean the grout and mouldy edge of the bath. It's got worse as I have been too ill to tackle it. Huffed and puffed through it.

Still feeling shit but got to get some washing done as ds is out of clothes.

Good morning! Just caught up, but work beckons! Have a good day 😊

No paid work today, contractors busily creating dust faster than I can keep up cleaning it. Trying to salvage duvet cover, sheet and mattress cover, where a tin of some kind of contact adhesive got tipped over onto a bed, while also trying to keep arm and leg in the air and reduce swelling and pain.
Also trying to do lots of prep for paid work tomorrow and Saturday, and hoping to catch up paperwork which is getting out of hand again and figure out what I might be able to do towards de cluttering that requires low physical input. Nothing working that well currently.

@BlackeyedSusan Well done! Sorry it's a struggle. Sadly just a right physical mess here, and not managing to heal.
Is it worth trying to replace the grouting or would it be too problematic?

@Solo well done catching up, hope work's not too arduous.

Just knackered out here, can't get body to co-operate, and struggling with paid work, study (exams coming up) and never ending contractors, so little getting done. Starting early to try and achieve a little more.

Well done for keeping on Elle. There's so much you are getting done.

Finally recovering a bit from flu/covid.

Today:
Boy to school.

Shopping for boy.

Dropped off shopping for boy to ex. (Coffee break)

Home, wipe shopping put away, wipe the very dusty shopping on the stairs larder. (Not yet put away. )

Check post.

Clear stairs, hoover, stairs and part of hall.

Unblock hoover.

Scrub stairs (no carpet, wood and paint along edges)

Wash paintwork in long bit of hall.

Unblock bath plughole and scrub out with an old toothbrush. Clean bath and tiles.

Unblock basin and clean up after disposal of dirty stairs water.

Rinse hand wraps and spin.

Remind DD to leave work to catch train. (If she misses this one she will need picking up as she is too disabled for a busy train.

Put some pots away.

Fetch DS some clean clothes.

I am resting now to conserve spoons for tomorrow

Well done Susan. You achieved a lot there. Sorry I've not been around,
Struggling with both stupid amounts of paid work, combined with disability and trying to manage around contractors.

Things aren't going well here. Major mistakes are having to be sorted out, and further reducing the footprint of everyone's flats considerably.
Apparently mine's by not as much as most, because I'm in situ, so I hate to think how much is being carved off the empty ones to create new "units."
Going by the number of additional door bells it looks like we will now have double the number of flats fitted into the original space and they're going after retrospective planning permission for double what was granted.
MP and EH seem to feel that because it's a SH landlord, normal rules don't really count.😠TBF the housing waiting list is now unmanigable.

But a lot of water coming in, and more and more damage, and the whole job is just dragging on and on. Many of the contractors have been moved on to new projects and we're limping along. Now saying until at least mid November. 🙄

I'm having to do more and more paid work, to pay for everything staying still. Being unable to pace myself is breaking me physically, and I'm not getting any time to be cleaning the damaged units or sorting and disposing of stuff. I'm just finding myself back where I was before.

The promises of not just bodging my now very damaged window frames back in permanently, are coming true at least. New one's have been ordered as a 'facilitating access' deal, but they're now just patching up everyone else's, as spiraling costs are causing further corner cutting, and getting maximum paying tenants in, is now the urgent priority.

Thank heavens for new window frames at least Elleherd. Not much I can suggest about the rest of it, I'm wondering if you're going to reach a point where you have to ditch all the contents of at least one storage unit to free up some cash so you can work a little less. I'm thinking of it from the perspective of managing to temporarily work enough to keep the stuff, but then swiftly ending up 6 feet under, seems somehow completely pointless. Also (speaking from a purely practical mindset and being completely morbid, I know - sorry!), dying isn't always quick depending on what one dies of, so it maybe isn't even necessarily an easier or less stressful option to work yourself into the ground - literally - than dealing with the emotional turmoil of having ditched a ton of stuff all at once 🤔

You're a whirlwind of activity susan ✨

I fell off the wagon a bit but will get back on it now and go back to my new habits which are proving helpful in general.

The post below is going to be hard unpleasant reading for some, and pretty likely to be reported and removed, but it is a reality that many of us are trying to live with.

Don't read this if you're sensitive or don't want to hear difficult things.

I'm trying to clear out before I die so others don't have to, perfectly normal. Preserving my life isn't the end goal.
All of what I'm doing is fundamentally death cleansing anyway, after that I'm surplus to requirement, struggling for employment, and without much of a desirable future.
I know it's hard to understand if it isn't your way of thinking, but a death that wasn't 'my fault' would be a relief and something to look forward to, not a deterrent.

All though I have some levels of control I do actually have full on pervasive HD and can't just ditch a unit.

I have previously tried to, and discovered that ditching my life is actually the more achievable solution, when it comes to it.

I am far from the only one at this end of the HD spectrum.
It isn't just emotional turbulence, and it isn't a knee jerk reaction, or wishing to blackmail others, (the automatic response if we dare to admit feeling this way) it's a deep seated desire to not feel and live with a set of somethings to the point that if not feeling anything ever again is the alternative, it's absolutely the better option. This is my purely practical and I recognize, HD driven, mindset.

I can put it all in the bin and suffer hugely doing it and then end my life to end the ongoing suffering, or I can skip the suffering bit.

I always find it interesting that most people seem to feel we should suffer. Is it moral judgement, or their own fears that for some of us, it isn't necessary ?

It's one of the many reasons we recognize HD is a mental health issue.
We are not supposed to feel like this, so we cover it up, for the comfort of everyone else.
We aren't supposed to have this response, we're wrong to have it, so we're silent about it.

This is the horrible humiliating reality of full on HD, it is not the response I want to have, but it is the response I do have.
It's not something I normally talk about for obvious reasons.

I rarely post on here but I draw inspiration and comfort from the regular posters. @Elleherd I just want to let you know I hear you and I am sorry you're having a tough time ❤

I don't believe people should suffer in life, I think it just happens, kinda like a side effect of living. Nobody escapes unscathed to some or other extent. Except maybe those people who's life is all good until some fatal accident befalls them and it's all over before they even knew about it.

I worry for your health sometimes Elleherd but I guess if your health isn't the top priority then that's going to affect decisions. I've read about Swedish death cleaning and I know some people find it morbid but I find it a great idea, so I don't know if that's the program you're following but I understand the general concept. I too don't want to leave anything behind that someone else might consider a burden when my time comes. I can't speak for anyone else but I don't find your mindset around it all bad in any way. Life means different things to different people, we all have our burdens to carry and none of us lives forever. I'm not going to wish you dead but I hope one day, one way or another, your burdens become fewer.

Took another binbag of donations to the charity shop today. Feels like a drop in the ocean really, but I keep reminding myself one day I'll have it all clear even if I can't see when that day is right now.

@HellonHeels & @BlueSummerBaby (and to poster who sent a response) thank you, and sorry for not responding sooner.
Having said what I really feel, life pushed back hard with more big unexpected problems, and I've just muddled through baddy, digging deeper holes.

@HellonHeels I hope generally we are more inspiration than repetitive not getting there, or constantly feeling overwhelmed, for some of us.It's a long journey for many.

@BlueSummerBaby thank you for that response. Like or lump it, without a true miracle no matter what I do, I'm very much on the downhill slope of life at this point, so it has become about lessening burdens on others.
Tbh I''m not following a specific SDC program, just recognizing the combination of entrenched hoarding, disability and failing health, means the need to do it, comes much earlier for me than those with average life expectancy have to think about it.
Well done getting another bin-bag of stuff out. One day, indeed...

Last week part of aunts flat flooded, and just as I was thinking I wasn't sure I could cope with that, but she definately couldn't, our contractors messed up very badly here, and everything spun out of control. It's too identifying to explain more, but road closed and multiple services involved.

We all had to vacate to anywhere we could for a few days, and no option but to just buy everything we needed to keep working, resulting in acquiring more stuff.

We got back in this morning, and now have to clean up after the contractors serious damage and bad emergency repairing of it.
Those who kicked off over the week got emergency eviction notices this morning. There will be few long term tenants left soon.
I got warned it was going to be the landlords response, and they had them written up as blanks to be filled in.
So I'm following the advice to just get on with the reality of what's happened, and my own belief, that those still here when the the renters bill kicks in, will be the long term winners.
But it all feels never ending, and I'm on edge over what else can go wrong first

In the middle of it all I couldn't get time off the contract I'm on (and now running badly behind on) resulting in now only having to the end of working hours today, to search through large amounts of paperwork in one of the storage units, to try and get any insurance claim in by their cut off
I would just give up on it tbh, but have already been forced to have the damaged stuff taken to their storage unit for their insurance company to view, and now become liable for storage costs if a claim doesn't go in today. (as well as then having to have the time and strength to go collect it all to dispose of most, or pay for it to be disposed off by them. )

So finding and sorting paperwork and putting in a probably futile claim seems to be the best of some very bad options, just to keep all the plates in the air.

But screaming in circles feels more tempting, - more accidental de hoarding of the wrong things, and a low chance of getting anywhere near the value of what's damaged and destroyed, or had to be spent. Life being run around doing the wrong things for bad reasons just to get to next day or week, and I'm struggling to get back on top of the carefully planned great de-clutter plan, and it's a few weeks to when I was supposed to be down to one unit of whatever was hardest to deal with.

Trying to take a deep breath while waiting for contractors to not need me here today, (they've promised ASAP) so I can go tear storage units apart for paperwork, and fingers crossed that bits of paper are where I think they are, and I can get a claim in by the time they've ordered, and back to work by the time works given me as a max, and hopefully with enough time to get new locks, as contractors have had our keys, and something said has left me worried about possibility they got copied.

@Elleherd wow. Just wow! I had no idea you had HD. I've never liked to ask, but I obviously knew you struggle a lot. I feel shame that you get so much done and I do not. You really do have my utmost respect. I understand too about your post before, but I can't say it doesn't make me incredibly sad.
You have such strength and determination.
I hope your landlord isn't going to put less than desirable tenants ink your building.

@BlueSummerBaby another bag gone, is a bag less at home.

@BlackeyedSusan you've done lots. Well done!

@HellonHeels hello 👋

I've had the week off. I didn't even tell Dd until Sunday, and Mum still doesn't know.
Bearing in mind that my place is pretty disgusting, and there's a huge amount to do because I've done so little for far too many years, this is what I've achieved this week:

Laundry done in smaller loads. One still to do.
Bed linen changed.
Revolting fridge is sparkling clean.
Cooker top sparkling clean.
Smallest worktop cleared and cleaned.
Tea, coffee and sugar caddies wiped clean
Slow cooker thoroughly cleaned as it had water marks on the upturned lid and inside which I attribute to the flood I had here in January 24. I know! And yes, I am ashamed.
Cleared out the crumbs from the toaster, and wiped it over.
Scrubbed bread board with salt.
Washing up done as usual (a totally good habit formed). Sink cleaned last weekend and maintained along with the bowl.
Bathroom sink cleaned, bath cleaned.
Today, I took Dd to physio as her EDS is causing her problems. I used the slow cooker and made a huge stew which will feed us for about 3 days.

So much more to do. 2 more days and then back to work.

The whole trying to deal with everything prior to death is something that has been on my mind for a long while too as i don't want to leave it for my Dcs.

Keep on keeping on. And virtual hugs to anyone who needs it.

Im going to start a new thread as this is almost full. Link to follow.

I can't remember how to link! Will keep trying.

. LINK