If you find it quite easy to run a household, would you mind sharing your wisdom with me?

[Janni]

I'm starting to think it's not about how many children you have (I'm better now I've got three than when I had one), nor how much space you have (I've lived in all sorts of dwellings and struggle wherever I am). I don't think it's about whether you have a cleaner (when I did I half-killed myself shoving things in cupboards and drawers before she came). I've tried Flylady - I just spent even longer on MN.
I know all about decluttering and I don't think clutter is the problem. I'm not interested in a debate on the division of labour between partners. What I want to know is this: What do you say to yourself each day to keep on top of things? How do you do the same things over and over and not give up? How do you stay on top of things even if there are unexpected events that throw your routine out of kilter?

In short, HOW DO YOU DO IT?

am watching this with interest....

Please tell me too. Suspect rule one is DO not switch on the computer until the house is clean...
see you in about 6 months then.

its nothing to with the amount of cupboard space, its a state of mind,i think some of us find housekeeping a doddle and some of us will struggle, just remember it takes all sorts

Women are on average apparently better suited to routine monotonous tasks .

I personally have no idea of the answer to your question but I know a lot of mners are very organised and have clean, tidy houses with many well-fed children in it. I also await their words of wisdom

Wellllll......I find taking Prozac really helps in addition to just not seeing mess in general. A good glass of wine with your evening meal and a dh that likes to do that sort of thing is an enormous bonus. Other than that I'm quite mystified by it all . I will watch out of interest...in a 'It's really not my thing' sort of way!

you get so organised that you lose the will to live

my house runs like a well oiled machine

1 wash every day, hang up to dry, PUT AWAY or put in ironing pile
ironing pile done once a week
kitchen cleared down EVERY NIGHT so clean in the morning
toys put away at bedtime
upstairs cleaned on Monday
downstairs on Friday

small jobs done as and when (eg if 'enjoying' craft with dd1, clearing up shite afterwards)

Jesus! Exactly - it's a state of mind. That's just what I'm getting at. WHAT is that state of mind and how do you develop it if you were not born that way and your mother didn't have a clue either????

OK - we have just had a massive change because dh has just got a job (after being at home with me for almost 7 years!!)

We have four kids and a three bed bungalow. Here's what I do:

Always do at least one load of washing/drying per day (one is nappies, the other is clothes)

No-one is allowed to put stuff to wash unless it is actually dirty (the exception being dh who gets a clean shirt each day)

When I buy new clothes I get rid of the same amount of old stuff so we don't end up with too much. Each person (child and adult) has as many clothes as they need and no more.

Same with toys - before a birthday/christmas we have a clearout of unused/unwanted toys.

I always have a charity bag/box in a corner of our bedroom to accumulate bits we don't want/need any more.

In the kitchen we have a noticeboard and a whiteboard. Notes from school, dentists appointments etc, all go on the noticeboard. On the whiteboard is the weeks' events coming up, a running shopping list, dd's pocket money totals (they each get 10p per extra job they do round the house and get paid at the end of the week), things that need doing (eg car tax needs sorting, bills to be paid etc), plus a list of household jobs that need doing (eg put hooks up, lay flooring in bathroom etc)

If both dh and I want to go out, whoever arranged it first gets to go . We make sure all events are written on the board.

I don't cook, dh does that, or he tells me what to do. We meal plan and shop for food on a weekend (dh usually does this with dd2) so I know what meals are coming up. Tonight we are having pizzas and dh made up a dough when he came home for lunch, and will make them when he comes home from work (I would normally do it before he comes back but I'm taking ds1 to the docs).

Anything else?

Having a good cleaner really helps.

I find having low standards is quite effective

Janni - my mother did have this frame of mind and tried to teach me but I just don't have it either.

Have a mum who was a bit of an anal retentive obsessive about keeping a tidy house..

my brother and I live in tips and if it all gets too much, I just remove my glasses/contacts and blame the kids for the state of the house...

Yes Iota - low standards is very effective.
Hope for everything but expect nowt and you won't be too disappointed.

Oh I don't iron either, except for dh's shirts. We are all slightly crumpled but stress-free!

I also let a lot of things go - bathroom gets cleaned once a week, sheets changed once a week, loo cleaned a couple of times a week, kitchen floor swept once every couple of days ... I try not to get hung up about dust bunnies etc

Wow! I think if you're not a natural you just have to work at it. I'm good, on top of everything and slowly it all falls apart. have massive blitz for few days, get on top of things, carry on ...then it all goes to pot again. Ad infinitum..

I have very low standards in comparison to my mother - she has learnt to hide her horror over the years - but she never taught me how to cook or clean!!

Miaou - see frame of mind and expectations are all important!

Without a cleaner - Cleaning the bathroom once a week is the MOST it gets done in our house. Sheets probably 1-2 times a month. I do sweep the kitchen floor ever day though

The reason I have cleaner is so that we can meet what appears to be your minimum standards

I am rubbish, but have high standards so regularly feel like a failure! Must change and be happy with semi-mess sometimes. Good idea..

olive is right
never let anything build up

eg if you sweep the kitchen floor when it's only a bit crunchy it takes 5min. If you wait till it is sticky and revolting you have to scrub it and it takes 45min and it will have tracked dirt through the house so you need to hoover as well.

I have a laundry routine so never think about it, just do it
wipe the bathroom every morning when I clean my teeth
wipe the kitchen every night before bed
hoover before people come round

Little and often is the way to go.

One job fitted in during the day means you never have a mound of stuff facing you.

i have a cleaner 2 times a week, she does all the hard work i do the organising and maintaining. i try and have a place for everything and everything in its place. i throw out or give away stuff every couple of months. 6 bags of dd clothing to give to dh employees, 3 bags my old work clothes to give to dh secretary. old houshold items at the front of the drive from morning till 7pm, whatever is left i bin it.

i look forward to dh and i sitting down to a lovely tidy home by about 7pm, only clear up after dd once per day.
NO ORNAMENTS OR NICK NACKS.

Quick question: do those of you with ds's find them easier to train than dd's? My brothers girls are great but mine (ds's)seem to be following in my footsteps. EEK

sometimes i think the state of ones house also reflects the state of one happiness - i am happy in a clean tidy, well run house, i realised that at the height of my drepression that the standards of cleanliness had slipped dramactically, now i'm feeling sooooo much better its all gone back to normal, a well oiled machine

NO ornaments or knicky nackys? How boring? Or cluttered?! Have just streamlined a few shelves and put the crap in boxes. Must say it looks better, but how long before it fills up again - is up to me!!

Systems. You have to put good systems in place for all the major routine areas of domestic life:

• laundry
• shopping
• cooking
• clothing
• hoovering / dusting
• window cleaning
• bathroom / loo cleaning
• kitchen cleaning
• waste / recycling
• bill paying

etc

Once the systems are there, it's much easier to keep on top of things. And the systems in themselves should save you time and prevent crises and chaos.