If you find it quite easy to run a household, would you mind sharing your wisdom with me?

[Janni]

I'm starting to think it's not about how many children you have (I'm better now I've got three than when I had one), nor how much space you have (I've lived in all sorts of dwellings and struggle wherever I am). I don't think it's about whether you have a cleaner (when I did I half-killed myself shoving things in cupboards and drawers before she came). I've tried Flylady - I just spent even longer on MN.
I know all about decluttering and I don't think clutter is the problem. I'm not interested in a debate on the division of labour between partners. What I want to know is this: What do you say to yourself each day to keep on top of things? How do you do the same things over and over and not give up? How do you stay on top of things even if there are unexpected events that throw your routine out of kilter?

In short, HOW DO YOU DO IT?

I used to live in squalor but realised that I was much happier in a tidy house. It's not immaculate, but I can see the floor and can find clean dishes and clothes. I suppose I keep on top of it because I know I will be miserable if I don't.

One thing that has really helped is setting myself one thing to do each day on top of the usual washing up and clothes washing. monday - shopping, general tidy up if I can find the energy.
tuesday - dust and declutter living room
wednesday - bathroom
thursday - baking day, then clean kitchen
friday - change sheets, put rubbish out
staurday - clean out dog's bed corner, wash floors.
sunday - sort recycling, clean bedrooms

Other jobs I just do when it's obviously needed. I hoover when the floor looks dirty and I do windows when I can be bothered.

Yes, jesus. My shelf clearance made me feel fab. But there's an extra box in attic now - will review it in few months time. And two bags for charity.

my dd is 16, she is a bloody minky fecker
my friends ds is 16, he is a bloody minky fecker

Clothing systems: I put clothes not worn for while to the right of my wardrobe. If not worn for 2 months it should go to charity or a 'not sure if I will fit this' bag under my bed. Have managed to streamline my wardrobe pretty well and accept the fact that i will never get into a size 8 ever again.

Is minky like manky, messy? Cripes! Mine love washing their hands etc. (getting kitchen floor soaking and lethal) Hope can train them to scrub and polish eventually!

Thanks - lots of good stuff there. Especially Miaou - nice detail. Top marks.

Now, what I want to develop is that really efficient briskness, whereby you see something out of place and you AUTOMATICALLY pick it up and put it away. I tend to stare at things, make a mental note that such and such needs to be done, then not do it.

I want to turn myself into a tidy person. Has anybody achieved this?

OK here are my top tips, though I do think it's a state of mind. I've got 2 kids, 2 dogs, 6 bed house and a dh who does nothing due to demands of job, but I do have a cleaner 4 hours once a week and my ironing gets sent out. Friends do see me as a anally retentive organised person

In the morning nobody (well apart from dh who has gone before we get up) goes downstairs until we are dressed, all rooms are tidy (not a big job - have drawers and boxes for kids to put stuff away themselves - and all curtains drawn/beds pulled back to air. After breakfast kids clear own stuff to sink, and I wipe table/tidy so the only mess is pots by the sink. I also open all downstairs curtains.

After school run/dog walk I wash up/unload/load dishwasher and put clean washing in dryer/hang out. Then I go upstairs, go to gym for 30 mins, and afterwards make all the beds.

Then I put on robomop in the kitchen (a really great robot sweeper which means I don't ever have to manualy do my hard floors) and take the dogs and a coffee into my study. Open the post and either deal with stuff or put it in my organized Mum life book to do list in the week it needs doing. By the time I've done that (and perhaps a bit of mumsnetting) it's 11:15 and time to pick up ds from pre-school. Whilst I'm out robomop does the hall.

Afternoons are then free of chores, except food shopping, which if you combine it with a visit to the Waitrose cafe doesn't really count as a chore. I tidy up after ds and my lunch, will sometimes prepare dinner then, but more often get the kids to help after school. I do any prep for dh and my dinner whilst they eat. After their tea they tidy the playroom, I load dishwasher and wipe down kitchen and set off robomop in the playroom.

I hate to say this but it really is a state of mind. I am a tidy and orderly person married to an obsessively tidy person and the house is tidy and very clean. The DCs have to pick up their own things, tidy their rooms, fold towels neatly, close doors and switch lights off. It's all a case of training in the early years ...

whilst kids are in the bath I get out everything for next day, put away clothes that are in the airing cupboard, and fold newly dried clothes into the cupboard. Throw one laundry basket downstairs if it's full (I have 4- darks, lights, whites and delicates). Put kids to bed. Make dh dinner, put washing in whilst it's cooking (machine has a timer so I can set it to be finished at 8am). Eat, immediately load dishwasher and put it on and do any washing up.

I think being a tidy person relies on most things being in their place, so that if something is out of place it's so annoying you have to put it back

Do things as and when, ie dont eat dinner then sit down and watch the tv, go straight into the kitchen and wash up, and clean/polish the table whilst you're at it. That way when you get up in the morning your kitchen is clean.

Bathroom, when you get out of the bath take down anything empty.

Keep on to of the washing, but I don;t iron either

going to read later, just posting so i can find the thread

Also hand out jobs, delegation is the base of all my housework!
If fort example a wash needs putting on, one of the kids will help me by throwing down the bits that need washing, I'll shove them in, the otehr DC will put the wet stuff in the dryer.

Okay this is the tip that works best -

Only ever leave a room in the sort of state in which you would wish to find it the next day.

Sooo - In the kitchen for example, never leave washing up or piles of stuff, wipe down all surfaces for crums, sweep/wipe floor at the end of the night.

One load of laundry every day. Bathrooms cleaned on the way out, and stuff taken off the worksurfaces .... being anal is hard work you know ...

Prufrock - I want to be you. Can I be you?
Quattro - I really don't mind it being 'a state of mind' - that's what I'm after. I sort of KNOW how to do these things, but I don't do them and I'm trying to change my head

Victorian - as I type I've got DS1 doing the dishwasher and DS2 reading to DD. Not bad, eh?

have one room you can shove everything, then lock the door and never speak of it again!

OK, now Quattro, you're going to have to break that top tip down for me. I am not in the least an OCD sort of person, but if I can't leave a room until it's in a decent state I'll never get out of the house. Or do you mean that when I finally get with the programme there will only ever be one or two things out of place in any given room?

or do you mean that AT NIGHT I must leave every room in its best state?

well either at night or as you leave in the morning

little and often, little and often!!!

it really is a state of mind though so quite hard to do -
i personally need the house to be ready for any surprise visitors as i would be mortified if someone arrived unexpectedly and house was untidy/mucky
slight OCD tendancies help in this area!!!

I just never leave anything "till later" i do it there and then so when you find yourself looking at something pick it up and deal with it straight away !!!

or carry on as you are and probably live an extra ten years to me who will die of stress related pressure to keep an ordered home

oh and buy a Roomba !! best investment ive ever made and a clean floor always makes your home look more presentable!!!

Yes Janni. You don't go out of the house unless your cushions are plumped and the flowers nicely arranged, the bedrooms tidy, the bathrooms clean etc etc. It's easy once you are in the groove.

We do have a cleaner she comes in once a week and gives kitchen, our bedrrom, bathroom, dd's palyroom and bedroom a really good clean which makes it easier to keep on top of things. washing is brought down daily and put in basket in utility room and when have enough for load goes on. And then I probably do an hour a day on sorting out junk and mess. As we run a B&B all other rooms are done daily as they have to.