The Hoarders Anonymous Thread #7. Keep On Keeping On!

[Solo]

We are a mixed group of likeminded householders that are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine included), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (myself included) that means sorting out our households is challenging, to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your own ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.
Encouragement and support abound here, and we do not criticise. EVER! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult not to do.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganisation and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises, and if you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement.

Welcome to thread #7 of Hoarders Anonymous - Keep On Keeping On!

Thread #6 HERE

@Solo Unless it helps you, I wouldn't try. But given my posting tendencies you'd probably have half the reading if you skip over mine! 😎
Glad your gardens coming on.

Hi all, not much progress, if any, I got a bit annoyed with next door putting his barbeque outside the shared arch. It's there because he can't fit any more of his rubbish in. His front and back garden are now starting to clutter now!

As for me, things keep cropping up so not had much chance or too tired. Hopefully can do a bit later, which reminds me I was going to make a list and plan for tidying as hoping this may make me more productive.

Hello all,
Ground to a halt here, I don't know what to do next. My shredding has been collected and I've about an A4 box of essential stuff to store. Kitchen cabinets emptied of things I've kept pushing to the back, oil, jam, ketchup, condiments from the early 2000s, so many uneaten sachets of instant porridge. 2 coffee machines and a food mixer. Then assorted items to the charity shop. Book cull, yet more cds and dvds donated.
My home looks a mess though, untidy, grimy, needs a thorough clean, and still more clutter to sort.

Inevitably the builder has quoted far more than I had hoped, but my hopes weren't founded in any realistic notion of how much work costs. The euphoria of having tackled so many demons is I think fuelling a desire to press on regardless. I feel like I'm in a no mans land, I can't go back to where I was before but don't know how to negotiate the way forward.

Anyway, this situation is preferable to the one I was in when I first posted, so got to be pleased with that.
How is everyone else?

Hi all,

First post here, I'm really happy to have found you guys and am looking forward to catching up on all your stories through the various threads!
I have a small cottage style home and I have so much stuff with nowhere to put it! Cleaning is a never ending loop, I would very much like to get of the cleaning merry go round!!!!
I've also very recently lost my father in a very sudden way and I brought back all of his possessions to my home because I couldn't bare the thought of going through it as soon as my sibling did, she only wanted one small box for memories, while I have everything else to sort. So that is going to be a massive undertaking both physically, but much more mentally.
So happy to have found a safe space to update my progress.

I'm still waiting for the day I have some progress to report. I'm working on getting the right things into the right rooms. At the moment everything is everywhere

Well done with your start Moonshaped. I found the same, once I started decluttering I wanted to carry on even though I'm not very good at it 😁 . If you don't know what to do next, have you checked that all your clothes/shoes/coats fit and are in good condition? You might have some to get rid of there. Or have a look in the junk drawer, there's probably something unnecessary in there. What about your attic/garage/basement? Anything in there you've forgotten exists and definitely don't need?

Welcome to the thread Aussie. Sorry for your loss. Regarding general hoarding, I guess you have to embrace the reality of your current living situation. I'm sure a cottage has many plus points, but unfortunately space for storing huge amounts of stuff isn't one of them

Hi, and welcome to our thread AussieKoala01
I always wish I had a bigger house, but actually, aside from a small kitchen and bathroom, my rooms are reasonable sizes - not huge, but reasonable. It's the organisation - or lack of it - that is the problem, so I feel your pain. I also feel your pain regarding the loss of your father, and the 'stuff' you need to go through and wanting to keep all the memories. I am so sorry for your loss; I still feel the tremendous pain of losing mine almost 15 years ago. My Mum wanted to know if to throw out my Dad's old driving licenses from the 1960s and 70s last week. So I have them here. They are so different, I have to keep them. And that is unfortunately how I am.
I hope you are able to get started and sorted and find help, support and inspiration from our little thread. We might not always answer straight away, but someone here usually pops in. We look forward to your updates.

I've done nothing. I'm going through a really crap time right now, and a big family event that should've been happening has been cancelled, and I'm dealing with a bit of an aftermath of that with my Son, and my Dd has just finished her exams, and subsequently secondary education.
I'm actually feeling really down at the moment, and once again have to shore up the family.

I wanted to do so much this year...

Blue I feel the same; I'd love to say I've done something.

Sorry you're feeling so down Solo. Keep plugging away. I'm sure, like me, you're doing something and one day the effects of it will be seen. Mostly what I'm seeing is things leaving my home, here and there, in dribs and drabs. That was it for a long while. Now I'm noticing other things. Nothing big or obvious when I look around, but the changes are there all the same.

All the blankets are in the box except the pile on the sofa that's in use (well in the winter anyway, not now). They're all clean and none have holes.

There's room to easily fit the hoover into the cupboard without shoving it in then shutting the door quickly before anything falls out again.

There's no coats on the hooks which don't fit someone here.

The toiletries are in the cupboards, on the shelves and round the sides of the bath. Not in boxes and carrier bags piled high in the corner of the bathroom. I've been successfully using and not replacing.

The craft supplies are plentiful, but tidy. Not overflowing, having been thinned out.

Could you frame your DF driving license and display on the wall Solo?

Hi moonshaped. Afraid it’s just been basic maintenance here last week. Am struggling with health and my time and energy’s been going on chasing round over legal stuff, (generating far too much new paperwork!) as well as trying to get a new work project off the ground. So a dead week and a half for decluttering here, but I have kept up with maintenance which can be half the battle, as well as lots of prepping of recycled materials to be used for the work project, in the hope of turning them to earnings. (why they were collected)

If the builders quote is too high, but you’re comfortable with him, would it be possible to get the most important work done in quoted chunks?
You’ve done really well and are right to press on regardless. Motivation follows action. It sounds the wrong way round, but it’s true.
That thorough clean that’s needed will make you feel so much better in yourself when it’s done. Doing it will be a gift to your future self. Again it might sound
odd, but few of us planned our way into a state, and actively planning our way out can be a good antidote.

Talk to the hand It is difficult balancing everything. Hope your list helped.

Hello AussieKoala01. Sorry for your loss and the added difficulties around it. Dealing with other people’s possessions can be very hard, especially if you’re already cluttered, and even worse when it's unexpected.
I wish I had something useful to say, but it’s an area I’ve so far pretty much failed in tbh. I suspect BlueSummerBaby has it right on focusing on the reality of cottage living and what they were designed for. Look forward to your progress.

BlueSummerBaby Well done on the systematic regaining control of your space!

Solo sorry you’re going through a rotten time and needing to prop up others simultaneously. You carry a lot on your shoulders and life can be very difficult and constant knock backs have a cumulative effect. If my rough understanding of your household ages is correct, you’re at a treading treacle sandwiched stage that all LP’s find difficult, not that that’s much consolation.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with holding onto your Dad’s licenses. Museums and exhibitions are full of once ordinary things that families held onto because they were history, both personal and literal.

I had a lot of plans for sorting out life and the storage situation this summer. So far, it’s just all repeatedly gone wrong and feels like everything’s worsened and is slipping away. I keep telling myself there’s time yet and I can still do this even if not quite as much or how I would have liked to. I don't think the sudden heat wave helped much either. It's left me even more sleep deprived than normal.
Whatever else today, I'm going to finalize evidence for stressful legal bundle.

One foot in front of the other, eventually we'll be somewhere else.

Hi all,
Thanks so much for a warm welcome and sharing your stories, im sending a virtual hug to you @Solo. 🤗
I've had a busy weekend with house maintenance.
Completed some gardening, filled a trailer load of things from the shed and took it to the dump.
The hardest part was folding the last of my dads clothes up that I had cleaned.
I've decided to donate a large portion of them, but I'm not sure I want to donate them to a local charity just in case I see a gentleman wearing them in the community....so I may take a small drive to another town over.
I'm keeping some items of clothing for memories, just taking it one day at a time. Hopefully we'll all have a productive week ahead, thinking of you all! ❤️

I've made some progress. My bathroom has nothing in it now that wouldn't usually be kept in a bathroom. It's cluttered but not hoarded. In time, as things get used up and not replaced, it'll look clearer. I've been successful at not bringing in excess bathroom stuff when I shop. To achieve this new clearer look some stuff had to move elsewhere so is clogging up another area now. Not ideal. One room used solely for its designated purpose is a start though

That sounds fantastic BlueSummerBaby

Welcome AussieKoala01 - dealing with inherited belongings when grieving must be incredibly tough. Be gentle with yourself.

Hope everyone else is getting on swimmingly.

Minimal progress to report barring lots of laundry washed and line dried in the fine weather. The piles of clean washing have yet to make it back into the chest of drawers

Hi all. I haven't made a list yet but I tidied some of the bedroom when looking for my goggles. I'm trying to be more active to give me more energy to do more housework. Hoping to get in a better bedtime routine also first.

Hello all,
inching further forward here. I organised a collection of old furniture and bulky rubbish, intended to get rid of a large table but I underestimated how difficult it would be to get it through the internal doors and I couldn't get it out. Had to shove it back and now I can't get it upright again, it's too heavy. A sensible person would ask someone to help of course but that's not where we are.

but I've said yes to the building work so looking at next steps. I'm so unfamiliar with this kind of thing. Part of me wants to stop but then I have a think, remind myself that head in sand/procrastination/avoidance/shame haven't served me so well. I've felt quite low recently, think partly due to the shame of being in this state. Anyway, I've got to stay positive and focussed on pushing on.
Hope we are all making progress

I organised my cardigans today. Put all the fleece ones that are basically coats without the waterproof elements together in one place. All the knitted ones that are basically hoodies except they're not made of tracksuit fabric in one place, plus added jackets because they're about the same warmth. Now I don't have a teetering pile on top of a box and I know where everything is

British Gas have been in touch for the annual service for the boiler so hopefully gives me motivation, although managed to clean a bit of the kitchen yesterday.

Still not made any lists, but was motivated by setting myself x amount of time for housework, (although needs to be a bit more time 🤭).

I made further bathroom improvements with a new, smarter laundry system. Before it was just a random basket with everything thrown in. Now it's a unit so it's off the floor and I don't have to keep moving it to clean, with two laundry bins one for lights and one for darks.

I brought the towels into the bathroom on shelving, freeing up space elsewhere. I have too many towels so I got rid of all the worn out ones. I still had my baby towel! Which was looking rather shredded and disintegrated a bit more every time I touched it. Was sad to see it go but it had to be sone. There's still too many towels though, I kept buying them for a treat because everyone needs bath towels, right? So it didn't seem wasteful, but it is really. Anyway, at least they all fit on the shelves.

Last week I removed all the coats that had accumulated in there and put them away with the others. I found all the bathrobes and used the hooks to hang those up instead. Most of the bathrobes were in a drawer, freeing up that space meant a pile of clothes from the floor was given a place too.

Added a candle diffuser thingy on the windowsill because I have too many ornaments in the living room and I thought candlelight baths would be nice.

There's way too many toiletries and cleaning supplies, but I don't want to be wasteful throwing them out so as mentioned last week I'm settling for using them up and not buying more until I have, which is very difficult!

It's so strange every time I go in there, looking at what is now a normal looking bathroom, albeit cluttered. It's finished now. Functional, easy to clean, easy to see what I have and no searching round the place looking for anything because it's all in there where it should be. It's tatty and needs decorating but I want the whole place de-hoarded before I start getting distracted by décor.

No actual decluttering progress here as have been totally focused on work projects and sorting out/ fighting numerous financial/legal messes and balancing health. Good news is I’m getting somewhere with those at least, and have managed to keep up all basic maintenance on both aunts and ours, though both gardens are growing faster than I can currently corral them. Having a disabled friend who's having a difficult time, staying over, hasn’t helped my time management at all! I'm exhausted and don't mind being a shoulder and facilitating, but have had to create boundaries over how much life admin help I can reasonably give. Harsh, but I actually need to take on less until I've fixed a lot more of what's already my problem.

I’ve really come in to say Moonshaped I’m sorry you’re been feeling down, but you have done a very big thing and faced up to something you haven’t previously been able to, so it isn’t surprising that you’re now going through lots of difficult emotional reactions. Shame is such a difficult one but try to keep reminding yourself it isn’t a crime to have difficulties managing one’s home, or problems with acquiring/disposing. As women in particular, we are conditioned to feel shame, but it isn’t helpful to us.

Could you bear to take an electric saw to the table? I brought one of these www.blackanddecker.co.uk/product/ks890ecn-gb/scorpion-powered-electric-handsaw-400w many years ago, and it’s seen me through lots of problems and projects and is worth it's storage space. (If not used to using this sort of power tool, always make sure the cable is running safely behind you so you can’t cut it, and that you have cleared sufficient space to safely use it.) Failing that, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask your builder to give you a hand with the table. Well done for going ahead with the building work, I know it’s all scary for many reasons, but what you’re doing now is investing in a better future and catching things before you’re in a situation that you have to. Those are very positive things.

AussieKoala well done! Hope you managed the drive and it wasn't too painful.

*Miaowse Well done getting lots of cost free drying done. Hopefully it may have made it to the drawers by now. *😁

TalkToTheHand123 Well done! And thank you for reminding me that gas certificate renewals will be coming up soon!

BlueSummerBaby Congratulations on getting reasonably on top of the bathroom and restoring order to it. Toiletries don't last so using them up while they still give pleasure is smart, and as the pot chatting to the kettle, not buying more cleaning supplies when you you have more than enough, is definitely progress. Keep the faith!

thank you @Elleherd for your insight and empathy. I am indeed seesawing between elation and disgust. But the end is in sight, the builder will start within the next few months! He has said that he will help move some of the big items out of the property if I book another bulky waste collection, which is great. I need to do yet more sorting now in readiness. You were definitely correct saying that motivation springs from action.
well done @BlueSummerBaby for restoring order to the bathroom. I'm finding the upturned table legs useful for draping towels over instead of putting them away..... I think I'll never achieve the tidy habit. When the work is done I may book a monthly cleaner to try to force me to tidy up routinely so that the whole clutter mountain doesn't rise up again. But am some way off that right now
did anyone see the article in the Guardian about hoarding? I found the Clutter Image Rating link v useful last year working out where I was on the scale (3/4)

I have almost finished my kitchen. I've been working on it for months.

I have one more cupboard left to look through and I need to declutter the old expired medicines. I have a cleaning stash to use up but I've been successful about not buying more.

It's all very tidy now. I've got rid of excess kitchen appliances that were old and being kept for spare. I never needed them so they have all gone now.

Wiped down all the plastic of the broom, mop etc and cleaned the bucket.

Halved my crockery and cutlery. Doing the washing up daily I don't need much. Then I could use the other half of the cupboard for gardening supplies like secateurs etc all in a tray. Got rid of the saucepans and grill pan etc that I never use. I cleaned out the inside of all the cupboards too before I put things back.

The stash of bags of bags is all gone. Some I threw out and some I used as binbags and some I accidentally set on fire 😳 (the toaster melted them and then there were flames and a dead toaster). Is all fine though, I put it out as soon as it started. I just have my canvas supermarket bags now - nowhere near the toaster!

I'm still working on not hoarding food. Getting annoyed with how much I throw out because it goes off before I get to use it. I've got a lot better though. My fridge is less crowded. And clean.

The only downside is there's some stuff in the kitchen that shouldn't be, but there's nowhere else to put it. I have been through it all though. Decluttering, cleaning and organising. It's not in the way and it's very tidy so that will have to do for now until I free up space elsewhere. I decluttered about a bag full.

That is fantastic BlueSummerBaby! My crockery & pan cupboards are areas I’m pretty happy with. I culled a lot and everything now fits and has a home so emptying the dishwasher is very easy & quick. I could cull further as there are extra mugs that we would use for guests but we do not have guests as the house is too shameful.

I’ve looked at the clutter ratings before and 3 (maybe 2 or 4 in some places) seems about right for me too, moonshaped
I’m hugely impressed that you are tackling big jobs that require builders etc. Well done!

Yesterday’s achievement, finally planted out those plants I bought in May. Not sure they will make it, one looks more dead than alive but the others still have lots of green leaves. It’s been very warm so the new challenge will be remembering to water them.

Elleherd is your friend still staying? Hopefully you haven’t been guilted into taking on more tasks to help others . Sadly my kitchen laundry mountain remains unconquered. Maybe today will be the day!

Hope everyone else is doing well, I can’t scroll back very far on my phone or I lose my post.

I posted very early on in this thread and I was full of good intentions and plans but I’m ashamed to say I’ve got nowhere and infact everything’s worse.

I have had a lot to deal with, dealing with grief, another bereavement, my poorly mum, my dc problems, no support, SN and my own ADHD which I can’t medicate for because of my heart meds. There’s alway someone that isn’t my kids in the house whether it’s their friends or dd1 boyfriend who creates more bloody mess and then I work as well

I think I’ve just hit a very low point, I have stuff piled up in my bed and I’m sleeping on the edge, my bedroom is terrible, I’m that fed up I sleep in my clothes, I’m too tired to find pjs and I can’t be bothered to shower

my kitchen is usually tidy though 😂

Aww @blackheartsgirl , I started off quite well but last few weeks absolutely no progress, hoping this changes soon.

@blackheartsgirl please don't be so hard on yourself. You have enough to deal with, you need to have compassion for yourself and think you will get there, it's only a matter of time.
I am in this group as I have a friend in your situation who I really want to help. Its not easy for me to understand it as I am on the other side of the spectrum and the minimum amount of mess makes me anxious (which it isn't great too, I'm trying to learn to be OK with a bit of stuff outside the place).

You all give me an insight of what it looks like from the inside, that's something I wouldn't ask my friend, unless she wanted to share it with me it's very personal. I want to help her clearing her home, because I know she is really embarrassed about and didn't have friends over or even friends of her own children. She is missing out a lot because she is a beautiful person. I want you to know I'm sure you have someone thinking you are an amazing person too. Please start an step at the time. First a shower and you will feel better. Then find a lovely pj's and change the bed sheets. Then you can start tackling the issue. Do you have a good friend to help you?

PS: I am making some progress with my friend. Still don't have a date to start helping but she is open to the idea so hoping to start soon, whenever she is ready.

Thank you. I did have a shower in the end. I’ve tidied my room up a bit and I’ve cleaned the bathroom this morning. I had an inspector from the council coming this morning, completely forgot and the house was a mess. He said he’s seen worse and he was only there to look at the damp in the utility room but I was really embarrassed