Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

This New Year, The Fledglings are Flying a new approach

824 replies

HillsBesideTheSea · 31/12/2021 16:54

Hello and welcome to new and old.

If you are new around here. Hi, introduce yourself around the fire pit in the naughty corner where we are all sitting comfortably. The naughty corner is decked out with comfy, and snacks, and a place just to have a chat when things haven't gone to plan. We are a very long running thread but do love new blood stopping by to join us.

Welcome to those who are returning.

We had a chat on the previous thread about possibly trying a new twist on the fly lady system. We all know that the fly lady system is good for establishing routines when we follow it. But we also know that sometimes we need a quick hit of a big declutter. And that life has a habit of throwing curve balls making it very difficult to stay on track.

So this is the plan. Each evening I will post the babystep, a thought point and the flylady daily focuses. We are not giving up on the fly lady system but just bringing it into line with the individuality of our lives, and trying to resolve some of the issues that comes from being the family brain, trying to do all the things and generally having modern busy lives. The thought point is to try to get you to think differently. And may require a click on a link (video), a discussion on the thread, or just you considering things. I do not promise it will make you feel better, or magically change your house straight away. But hopefully it will help with the overall flow and approach. And may just tweak the twee out of the fly lady system to the point where it is now your system.

But before you entirely regret your choices in letting my try this craziness we are going to start with some key basics that I really do think has been incorporated well into the Flylady system.

  1. the mess, disorder and chaos did not happen over night. Give yourself the grace and time to fix it. (also known as roman weren't built in a day so don't kill yourself trying to get your house immaculate in a day)
  1. Goals vs system.
We will go into this a little more shortly but to start, the fly lady system has an end goal - a house which is tidy and clean that comes second nature. It achieves it by building habits and routines that make the steps needed to achieve that goal second nature. There is a lot of research that says goals don't work, systems do. And systems are built on the formation of habits.
  1. You are never behind.
You might not be making the progress you would like, you may have taken a break. But you are not behind. So again, give yourself a break and drop the guilt. There is probably a reason why you have taken a break - illness, other demands on time, mental health etc etc. And yes some days it is an effort to make sure that everyone is fed and ok. But that is ok, so give yourself grace that on that day that was exactly what was needed and thus you succeeded in the essential goal of the day. guilt is just going to make things harder than it needs to be. It is ok not to feel guilty if you did not do all the things.

I will be back later with links for tomo. I am posting them in the evening the night before because some of us are morning people, and some of us are night people. And this way everyone will be able to see prior to when they need to consider it.

Come park your broom in the new thread for a little while and have a natter whilst we wait to bring in the New year.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
ExquisitelyDecorated · 31/12/2021 17:24

Consider my broom parked, thank you Hills. I agree that a fresh approach for the New Year is a good idea, the thread leading for the last month was slack to say the least Grin

HillsBesideTheSea · 31/12/2021 17:36

And the few months before that too Grin

OP posts:
HazelNuttyElf · 31/12/2021 17:37

hills I love this! Thank you for volunteering to run the January thread. I'm looking forward to it. I also love that you said goals don't work, systems do - I think I needed to hear that!

ED thank you for running the December thread, it's always a tough month with lots going on, you did a great job.

Shannaratiger · 31/12/2021 17:47

Broom parked. Hills thanks for taking on the New Year thread, changes sound great.
Will try and post on here more, life seems to be in a disorganized freefall at the moment.
Happy New Year everyone

HalfHolly · 31/12/2021 17:54

tiger hi great to see you!

ED and Hills muchas gracias señoras. Profuse thanks to both of you from me on previous thread.❤️

Am looking forward to the thread Hills (and shadowing nervously for February thread)

SingToTheSky · 31/12/2021 17:58

Hey hills thank you for the thread, excited at the new style!
Thank you ED for running the busy December thread!

HalfHolly · 31/12/2021 19:50

Leaves marzipan in naughty corner and Highland Park whisky.

IWasWillingToGoWassailing · 31/12/2021 19:56

Thanks Hills this sounds like a great idea. Hello again Shannara, good to see you, and you too Hazel. Hope you are not too snowed in.

Thanks ED for December leading, and November if I recall correctly. It's been a strange year. Roll on 2022!

HillsBesideTheSea · 31/12/2021 20:17

Sorry ED i forgot you did two months, i was referring to my last stint as thread leader not being very - well thread leader ish.

Half you will be fine. People will breathe a sign of relief probably Wink

Shannaratiger - it is nice to see you.

I am off for a walk in a minute so will post the links in a mo. But before I do. Just wanted to wish you all a very gentle 2022, and a pleasant evening tonight, what ever you may do to mark the occassion.

OP posts:
HillsBesideTheSea · 31/12/2021 20:19

1st January:
Babystep - shine your sink

A simple easy win right? Just one task right?

Nope.

Now i don't know about you but if i were to walk into the kitchen I couldn't just shine the sink.
I probably need to deal with the dishes that are in the sink/on the side. But in order to do that I probably need to empty the draining board, empty the dishwasher. So i start with those tasks but someone has probably left the draw open/spilled stuff down the outside of the unit. So i pause to to that.
WHen I am done with that I probably realise the bin needs emptying so i go do that. And if your bin/house is anything like mine, you are going to want to clean the bin before you put it back. And as I continue with loading the dishwasher/doing the dishes i might realise i do not have quite enough to fill the dishwasher; but i do have a teenager so i go raid their space so that i can get the dishwasher on. But I will probably decide to recover all the things, and it won't all go into the dishwasher/etc and/or needs to soak. So I still don't have a sink which i can clean.

And i have done 8 or 9 different jobs minimum and still not shined the sink which was the initial goal.

We all need a quick win, but sometimes we also need to recognise that that simple job is not going to be just a one action job, and is probably going to require more time and energy to get it done than you might think from a single to do list item. And we often make ourselves feel guilty because we didn't do that one small job, but we did do many other little jobs that build up/are components of that job.

So what is my obstacle for getting that one job done?
It is not having a system for staying on top of the washing up
It would be living with people who "nightshift" and thus eat food at odd times creating extra washing up at odd times
It would be the fact that we eat in our own spaces because of SN requirements.
It would be that for use we have a very complicated system for washing up to avoid cross contamination for allergy reasons.

My one simple task is the clean sink. And my goal for making there be less obstacles is to stay on top of the pots. If i can do that, then there is a better chance of getting to the sink. And in order to do that, I am going to make sure they are at the latest done when I am waiting for the kettle to boil in the morning.

So your thought point for day one: What is that job that should be simple, but you never seem to just get it done because you get side tracked, because there are other things in the way. What are the obstacles for getting it done? IS there something that you can work on so that it becomes less of an obstacle to achieving that one "simple" task?

Your one simple task could be the laundry, and that getting it away is the problem. It is washed, dried, folded, but never makes it into the drawers? It could be cleaning the bathroom. It could be hoovering the house, but there are toys, and things in the way. All these things we consider as 1 simple task, but they are actually a collection of smaller tasks for reaching the goal. So what can you make a daily focus habit so that you are closer to that end goal of that one "simple" bigger task?

Daily Focus - Saturday is family fun day. Spent some time with the family. Play a game, watch a film together, heck work together to find a home for the new toys/stuff from Christmas.

The launch pad with the other links is here

OP posts:
HalfHolly · 31/12/2021 20:44

That's good thinking Hills. Like when you set out to estimate time to do a DIY job like fix the tap, only you forget that you need to gather all the tools in the garage first, research the fix, clear stuff out of the way etc

For me it's the laundry so I'm going to work on that - and my sink obvs!

ExquisitelyDecorated · 31/12/2021 21:00

Well, I can't take credit for November, I think that was you Hills. I have just read your thoughts on why the sink doesn't get shined while nodding away, food for thought indeed.

HalfHolly · 31/12/2021 21:09

It WAS Hills - so sorry. Well thank you both!

I am eating gin and tonic flavoured marzipan and it tastes lovely!

ExquisitelyDecorated · 31/12/2021 21:19

Or like when you'd like to redecorate tour dining room but some of the joists and floorboards need fixing, and while you're at it you'd like some extra sockets putting in and getting the artex ceiling skimmed over so you need at least three trades so you put up with the manky old carpet because its all too much.

Shannaratiger · 31/12/2021 22:31

Hills perfectly said, so many 'little' jobs are like a flow chart/ spider diagram. My autistic and dyspraxic brain really struggles to focus on one thing and work out the best order.

HalfHolly · 31/12/2021 22:33

Yeah ed it's a proper cascade effect!

Mc3209 · 31/12/2021 22:40
foxessocks · 31/12/2021 22:42

Hi everyone!!! Love the sound of this new look fly lady , I am keen to get back on track so this suits me Smile. I was nodding along reading that shine your sink bit!! So very very true. And also the accepting of the fact that some days you just don't get much done but there's good reason for it, and being tired is a good reason!

Hope you are all keeping well. I will try to keep up with the thread in 2022!

ExquisitelyDecorated · 31/12/2021 23:18

Welcome back Shannara - lots of autistic/dyspraxic Fledglings and family members on the threads. Yes to it making things a whole extra level of tricky.

Foxes welcome back to you too!

One of my blockage points Flying wise is my dressing table (top of chest of drawers). It's always massively cluttered and so are the drawers. I have decluttered quite a lot but there simply isn't enough space. However in my bedside cabinet I have a drawer full of card games (used to play them on the bed with DCs before bed when they were younger) and another drawer of craft bits. Both can go elsewhere then I can relocate some stuff from the big chest of drawers and hopefully manage a decluttered top.

IWasWillingToGoWassailing · 31/12/2021 23:27

Yes! So true, Hills there is never just one simple job. I honestly don't know what my block is at the moment, going to have to think on that.

ED I totally recognise the Decorate the Dining Room urge that collapses once you work out the size of the whole project.

There seems to be no easy starting point because it's all like an Escher print and everything flows into everything else from all directions, despite that not actually being possible.

HalfHolly · 31/12/2021 23:56

Almost at New Year 🎊🎊🎊 have a great 2022!

SingToTheSky · 01/01/2022 01:18

Happy new year you lovely bunch!!!

Hills you are SO right about the one simple job not always being so. :o at Escher wassail :o

I’m determined to keep up with the thread again this month.

New year isn’t a big deal in the Sing house, have to say though it’s been nice to think about what a positive year it has been for me in some ways - new job etc. It’s the first year in a while where I’ve felt like I’ve really got somewhere.

This year… I put on the previous thread I think, my main aim/resolution is to have more fun.

There are other things I’d love to do more of - reading, getting outdoors (just realised I’ve not left the house in well over a week - granted I had the dizziness etc but it’s not great how easily I slip into hermit mode!), obviously the ever renewed aims of getting more organised… but honestly none of it has any point if I’m not actually aiming to enjoy life more. So that is The Grand Plan.

In the meantime… sleep! Good night folks

SlamCrump · 01/01/2022 02:02

[SC swerves fireworks in sky, points nose of broom downwards, holds on tight, and crash lands in to naughty corner, then swigs some of Halfholly's whiskey to steady the nerves that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it Xmas Wink]

Happy New Year to all Fledglings! Hope you had a lovely evening!

A big thank you again to ED for the calm steer through frantic December which was very, very much appreciated! Flowers

And huge thanks to Hills for taking on the busy January thread full of good intent!

That is so true about one simple job potentially requiring many preparatory steps; it is very much the case here with my house being in one heap big mess atm and parts of routines having been abandoned entirely! Blush Definitely need to get back on top of it all and do a huge amount of decluttering in 2022!

Also need to focus generally on weight loss, fitness, mindfulness and generally being more positive and not killing anyone more appreciative of others Grin

And that is such a good tip about systems and habits being more productive than goals and objectives! Thank you for the reminder Hills!

A warm welcome to Marmite!

And enthusiastic waves to Foxes!

Waves to all Fledglings; oldies, regulars, newbies and lurkers alike! Hope you all have a great start to the Flying year!

Tally-ho folks! We can do this! Flowers

Stilllivinginazoo · 01/01/2022 04:17

Great point there hills.my sticking points are unhelpful teens and not looking after my own needs so I run at things 2000 mph sometimes but neglect care for me so at others so wrecked nothing gets done.build up occurs.rinse and repeat
shannaralovely to see you again!
Half love a bit of marzipan
Sc been fab having you back,are you in for full month of Jan?
Foxes lovely to "see" you again
Hazel hope you aren't snowed in too bad its way to mild here to be winter at mo
Ed totally relate to decorating analogy
Wassailmy brain has a tendancy to trail off in all directions and then sometimes I totally forget what original taskwas!remember for you a paced approach given how poorly you have been
Sing huge year of growth at chez sing.i bloody love watching lives unfold here and yours has moved on so much since we first met ❤️

I have had nearly 6 hours in two hour increments.hoping for a bit more,but still an improvement!

Happy new year to everyone.may health,happiness and kindness be weaved through this year for you all xx

MrsTidyHouse · 01/01/2022 08:15

Hello everyone, and a Guid New Year to us all.

Hills. I definitely need a new mindset. Very interesting. Thank you.

My main sticking point is all the tidying that needs done before I can even think straight. It sounds simple - just get it tidied. But arthritis slowed me down so much last year. I used to get a lot of my exercise running up and down stairs putting things away (almost but not quite churning), but now I can't do that so things lie around for ever, and then I get miserable because of the mess and my ever-increasing weight, so I ignore salad for biscuits, then get even less done and fall asleep after lunch and am still all messy for LOs getting home.

Sorry to sound self-pitying, just needing to get this out.