The ADHD/ suspected ADHD/poor executive function/ generically disorganised and overwhelmed housekeeping thread

[MissKeithsNeice]

Diagnosed adhd. Medicated (hooray!). But no amount of medication can help me do anything when my dc and dh are in the house.

Dc are teens BTW

I work 4 days a week, term time only. On Fridays, I get shit done. Dh is also term time only. By the end of the summer holidays, the house us destroyed. Its just really hard to explain how bad it is.

Dh works really hard to keep on top of it but I'm just so messy that its an impossible task.

Today is my first Friday to myself for 8 weeks. I am so excited. Its going to take weeks to get this place straight but once it is, I'm getting a cleaner.

Hi
Thanks for the Dana recommendation - been binge listening and it has really helped

Particularly good topics:

Stop stuff shifting - self explanatory but super not obvious in a way
The container concept - if it doesn't fit, don't get a second or bigger container- get rid of some stuff!!
The problem with "Extras" - why having multiples of sth isn't always good - this was an absolute revelation to me!!

Hi all.

ADHD and medicated here. I have a cleaner 3 hours a week and house is still a shit pit I’m a lone parent to 3DDs 13/10/5, I’ve been WFH the entire pandemic and it’s made me even worse.

I’ve scrapped To Do Lists in favour of a Done list. I write down what I’ve Done. It’s been a game changer.

I’m also having to move house (100 miles, smaller than my current one) and packing is driving me INSANE.

@thelegohooverer My DDs don’t want me if I’m sat on the sofa doom scrolling; as soon as I pick up my knitting, or start cleaning/cooking, all of a sudden all 3 want me immediately

Does anyone else have times where they feel “extra ADHD”? I feel like I’m there at the moment. I do get a sort of flare up of symptoms every month around period time, but this is much worse and not the right time. I’m feeling much more overwhelmed by the house and life in general.

Following

@ScreamToTheSky

Does anyone else have times where they feel “extra ADHD”? I feel like I’m there at the moment. I do get a sort of flare up of symptoms every month around period time, but this is much worse and not the right time. I’m feeling much more overwhelmed by the house and life in general.

Yup. It usually involves me doing regrettable things with the credit card. It can often be related to sleep patterns as I get a bit messy when I’m tired.

@ScreamToTheSky and @Burnshersmurfs oh definitely, and before learning about ADD I assumed it was just sleep deprivation and hormones (and laziness/stupidity/incompetence). I also have what I call introvert hangover when I’ve been “on” in a social situation for a while and desperately need quiet to recharge and I can very easily be tipped into overload at that point.

But in better news, I finally managed to coordinate my energy and a couple of hours to get stuck in. I really love Dana at times like this because instead of being paralysed by the overwhelming chaos I know where to start (dishes and “trash”) and I can pick up something random and “take it there right now” and slowly it all starts to take shape.

In the past I’d be out in the garden weeding a flowerbed or reorganising the suitcases in the attic or something utterly unimportant like that.

@CommanderInQueef I love that idea. I often have a huge to do list in my head to motivate myself but then never feel like I’ve actually achieved anything when I’ve only managed a tenth of it (never mind that it was ten times too long for the time available)

Lego- the theory of ego depletion is worth taking a look at. It’s sometimes applied to situations when an effort to sustain will-power is immediately followed by a total crash in will-power in that or an other areas (e.g. going on a diet for a week and then ramming cream buns down your face for a solid evening.) It’s not exactly undisputed but it’s definitely something I think chimes with me- and by the sounds of it might with you too, going by the ‘introvert hangover’ Love that description- it’s exactly what it’s like. I try to be a bit aware when I know I’ve been stretched a bit thin as the consequences can really come back to bite me.

How is everyone getting on?

I’m on weekend strike - too many people in the house and I just can’t be bothered trying to battle through!

@Burnshersmurfs thanks for the ego depletion reference; it’s very interesting.

Dana’s new book is available to pre-order if anyone is interested.

Ooh, new slob book!

I have not been doing well practically, but better mentally, by forgiving myself for not being able to Do It All.

I have an unexpected “day off” sick today as symptoms mean I can’t go to work and have to wait for a PCR negative, but whilst I feel rough I’m not exactly bedridden and before Covid would have gone to work much sicker than this.

So today I have resolved to
Do The Dishes
Clean The Floor
Get Laundry Done

And then award myself bonus points for anything else. Might keep track on here if nobody minds.

Have unloaded the dishwasher from three days ago, refilled it and put it on

There was a load of laundry left in the machine from yesterday that DP started but never hung up. Have put that on a rinse and spin.

Now getting dressed to go and get my PCR, and will carry on later. The floors is a big thing. They are covered in crap so that’s a major project.

Ok, early afternoon update (a.k.a. “done list” in progress)

I have almost Done The Dishes. Put away everything that had been “air drying” (yeah yeah) for days, emptied the dishwasher after it did it’s cycle. Just one baking dish left in the sink that is stubbornly refusing to clean itself just by being sprayed with oven cleaner.

I am making progress on Getting Laundry Done. Hung up the first load outside, put on next load. Have put away some dry laundry that had been hanging around in an IKEA bag for about a week but somehow managed to escape becoming a cat bed so luckily was still clean.

No real work towards Cleaning The Floor yet

Bonus points:
Decluttered kitchen sides (Dana style)
Took out recycling & rubbish
Poo picked garden
Opened all the windows to air the house
Lit autumnal scented candle (although can’t really smell it, somewhat worryingly covid wise)

However I’ve decided that My Rules mean I can’t collect bonus points unless I complete the core missions.

So I’d better get working on this floor really.

Ok. It took an hour but have cleared, swept and then mopped downstairs. It’s nowhere near perfect but it is definitely less disgusting.
Upstairs floors need vacuuming and carpet washing.

Got distracted by the garden, but have cleared the tomato plants and other summer veg and mulched that bed. Bonus point…..if I can just finish the 3 core missions

I completed Doing The Dishes!!! Did the dishwasher tablet trick on the baking dish.

Bonus point I did a preventative sink unblocking treatment.

Working on Getting Laundry Done, bought the first load in from the line, got second load out of washer, put third (final) load in. Now need to put away all the dry stuff, which will free up inside hanging space for the wet stuff.

Got distracted by playing with dogs though. They only got a 15 min run around the park this morning with DP because I’m under house arrest until I get a negative PCR. They are really bored now.

Really need to Clean The Floors upstairs too. Giving myself an 8pm deadline. So obviously I have to faff around on Mumsnet for a bit first.

Wow! Lemon! You’re on a roll.

Laughing at the win of cat not sleeping on the clean laundry!

Thankyou! I happily took that one :-)

And am declaring all missions complete and claiming all bonus points. Technically didn’t get the carpet washer out for upstairs and it’s too noisy to do at this time, but, it’s all hoovered so is generally very much nicer so think I can tick Floors.

Whoop!!

Now to watch it all fall apart over the next few days hey 😂

OMFG, I need this thread!

Will be back to read it later

Ok, I'm back!

First of all thanks for the a slob comes clean recommendation. Somehow I haven't come across her before but I already like her after only listening to one podcast. I would like to read the book but I think I should probably stick to free things at least to start out.

I have a newborn so totally have an excuse not to clean however looking back through Google photos at 2/3 years ago for the old photos and videos of DS2 at this age is really making it obvious to me how much worse the general state of our house is

So in the spirit of this today I hung up some washing and cleared out the rank nappy box from our bedroom.

Lemon your points system is making me think of an app called Habitica if you've ever tried that? However it's one of those you could spend more time setting it up than actually using it.

@BertieBotts I think Dana covers everything in her podcasts that she has in her books. She rambles a lot in the podcasts and the book is the simple, straightforward version but you can definitely make do with the podcasts. She is a cheapskate herself so would probably approve of you requesting the book through your local library.

I only got the book to listen to because she took a break for the summer holidays and I’d developed a Pavlovian response to the sound of her voice.

I am far too ADHD for libraries sadly. Buying the book would be cheaper than the fines, and I only read on Kindle these days anyway as it's easier when feeding a baby.

Podcasts are already my way to motivate myself to clean, because I can't focus on audio by itself without busying my hands and eyes. So having a cleaning focused one should be interesting!

@BertieBotts

I am far too ADHD for libraries sadly. Buying the book would be cheaper than the fines, and I only read on Kindle these days anyway as it's easier when feeding a baby.

You've just reminded me of the books I need to return. In Ireland they’ve dropped the library fines as they find they get more books back which has taken the pressure off.

@BertieBotts

Podcasts are already my way to motivate myself to clean, because I can't focus on audio by itself without busying my hands and eyes. So having a cleaning focused one should be interesting!

I hadn’t really thought about it like that but I think I’m the same. Sometimes I find myself trying to scroll online and read at the same time as listening, which obviously doesn’t work, but I think it’s that instinct/need to be doing something else in order to concentrate.

Thanks for putting it into words for me.

I think they did in some libraries in England too but I moved to Germany and here you not only get a fine but a stern lecture and it upsets me so much that I am a bit scared of the library now :( which is a shame really.

That would put me off too.