The ADHD/ suspected ADHD/poor executive function/ generically disorganised and overwhelmed housekeeping thread

[MissKeithsNeice]

Diagnosed adhd. Medicated (hooray!). But no amount of medication can help me do anything when my dc and dh are in the house.

Dc are teens BTW

I work 4 days a week, term time only. On Fridays, I get shit done. Dh is also term time only. By the end of the summer holidays, the house us destroyed. Its just really hard to explain how bad it is.

Dh works really hard to keep on top of it but I'm just so messy that its an impossible task.

Today is my first Friday to myself for 8 weeks. I am so excited. Its going to take weeks to get this place straight but once it is, I'm getting a cleaner.

@LemonViolet Let us know how the course is. I'm finding Dana very helpful, and she talks about it a lot in the podcasts, but I don't think I could sign up for yet another thing at the moment. I need to check out the other two women and see what they do, I think.

I’m really enjoying it. It’s a very loose self guided thing; videos on the website which are either the 3 of them in conversation on various topics, or “interactive” ones with one of them in a particular area talking you through a method/topic as you declutter. And then the private Facebook group which is all the participants on the course posting to each other and the three of them contribute too, do FAQ/live Facebook things and stuff.

The content you can definitely get all the gist if you mainline all their books and podcasts and YouTube videos, but I have to say doing it this way is a lot more motivating for me and the theory and understanding of it all is sinking in way better than it has before. It cost about £93 I think after conversion and you can split it into 3 payments. I think the fact I’ve spent money on it is giving me extra accountability as well.

@Feelingoood for old linen and towels your local animal shelter and vets will take them. The ones near me do and I regularly donate old blankets and towels.

Thanks Mrs wombat I will do just that. I’m impressed with your tenacity and dedication! I think Mrs a slob comes clean would be too. I saw her when she was quite a new blog and it was soooo nice to see someone emitting to being a slob I amongst all the perfect 5 kids and cupcake blogs!
Lemonviolet that’s great I’m glad it’s working. £93 is a bit steep at the moment, though it’s certainly tempting. It’s only 8 ish hours of a cleaner, which actually makes it an investment!
Twinkleylight, great! That is much better than chucking them.
Will tackle towel cupboard tomorrow. 😵‍💫
Can I just say I am forcing myself to do basic tasks, and then half an hour per day in areas, as TOMM and flylady ( and my mum) says. ( mum wit raised eyebrow and incredulous look) today I tackled awful bathrooms..got both done ( not perfectly but will go back next week)
Thanks for the motivation!

Glad to see people are getting stuff done! I went back to work in the 10th (work in a school). I went with the Do the Dishes Daily as my bottom line. I’ve also started vaguely trying to do TOMM but be a bit more flexible with it.

So far I’m really happy with my progress, I’ve started doing extras every evening.

Not loads, but I’ve kept on top of the laundry (and put it away 😱!!), clean one thing in the bathroom daily, bought a second hoover for upstairs as it’s less of a faff having to drag mine up the stairs. So far just by doing little bits I’ve kept 3 rooms pretty clean and clear.

I’m ignoring the fact that one bedroom and the dining room resemble a hoarders paradise and trying to focus on the positives. I’ve also started yoga.

I’m predicting another week of effort before my usual pattern of exhaustion and inaction!

And when I mean extras I don’t mean on top of TOMM just that’ll I’ll pick something off that days list and do it.

@Feelingoood She started blogging when my teen was a toddler. I'm wondering what my house would look like now if I'd started following her then instead of starting and stopping fly lady and getting miserable at the perfect blogs.

@Biscuitandacuppa It's a good list. I've done quite well with it this week. I've not done everything on it but I've gone through it all and mentally checked it off with a "that can wait another week" or I've just dusted or cleaned one shelf or surface.

@Biscuitandacuppa that sounds great. Loving the honesty here. On most housekeeping threads people are deep cleaning their house every weekend and hoovering their toilets.

I’m struggling a lot with getting started on things. Even knowing that something takes under a minute and isn’t difficult doesn’t help. It’s like my ignition switch is broken.

Does anyone have any good strategies for getting started (and transitions) other than medication which isn’t an option for me at the moment?

@thelegohooverer Do the dishes.

Impressed with everyone’s motivation!

I’ve got side tracked by trying to find a cheap bookcase for stuff that doesn’t have a home.
And researching / googling paper filing systems too that will be sustainable, easy and cheap to implement.

Do the dishes! Like, really. It works. And the next day, do the dishes. And then the next day, do the dishes.

My mum told me that my brother said that last time he visited my house it “wasn’t as bad as it usually is”. Yay! Progress!

Clutterbug on YouTube has a very good paper system. She has ADHD. If you search I’m sure there’s several videos on it.

Yay! That is progress.

I do my version of fly lady shine your sink
Which is clean my hob. Doing that does then travel outwards to my kitchen surfaces.

Is it bad that I never fully empty my dishwasher as I don’t have enough cupboard space? It’s nicely organised in the dw...

@LemonViolet

Clutterbug on YouTube has a very good paper system. She has ADHD. If you search I’m sure there’s several videos on it.

Oh thank you I’ll check that out now

@LemonViolet

Wow thank you for that video tip.

More than one system for different types of papers 😱
It reminded me of when someone told me I can have more than one pair of shoes!

She made it sound so simple. Will definitely rewatch and implement

My paper system is basically throw everything out I definitely don't need as soon as it comes in. I pile stuff I need to action on top of my laptop so I don't miss it. Put pretty much everything else in the one pile on a window ledge. (Need to work on that)

Kids stuff I might need one day like online learning passwords go in one of these which is visible but not too cluttered: www.amazon.co.uk/File-Organizer-Pocket-Chart-Scholastic/dp/0545114780?tag=mumsnetforu03-21 In theory homework for my smallest child goes in there too but it normally ends up cluttering up the dining table or stays in the school bag.

I also have a brightly coloured patterned plastic wallet like this: www.amazon.co.uk/Fashion-Wallets-Plastic-Document-Popper/dp/B01BX0RZYY/?tag=mumsnetforu03-21 for very important stuff like birth certificates and passports which doesn't get lost.

It's not perfect but I don't feel like I'm drowning in paper clutter in the way that I'm drowning in every other type of clutter. I am drowning in the OH's paper clutter but that's a husband problem.

I like that Pocket organiser.

My current system is post arrives. I ascertain who’s sent it. And if I need to open it straightaway.
All other post gets put in the magazine folder by the door. Unopened. Probably a years worth now!

@thelegohooverer I've been putting on a slob comes clean podcast and its working as a prompt to get me doing things (they are repetitive but comforting, and I find some of her insights really useful).

I’m enjoying ASCC podcasts as well. In the middle of a 4hr drive tonight after a 10 hour work day (don’t worry am stopped at services having a break!) and she has been keeping me company and pretty much every conversation she has I have a-ha moments or just really identify with what they’re talking about. She gets us y’all

I booked an estate agents valuation for a fortnight's time so I'm against the clock. Nothing like a bit of pressure to get the ball moving now. I've got 2 wks to declutter and vaguely make my house presentable for the estage agent. This weekend I'm filling up 2 boxes of books to donate, clothes and brick a brac to take to the charity shop. Next week, the living room walls and woodwork will be given a lick of paint & tidied up.. Same for the upstairs bedrooms too as well as a deep clean in the kitchen. I'm pretending that I'm having an open house weekend otherwise I'll never get this house on the market.

Are podcasts free to subscribe to?
I just found a slob comes clean and clutterbug through my podcasts app. Bit worried it’ll cost money.

No podcasts are free. They are “sponsored” which means in the middle of it she’ll suddenly switch to “let me tell you about one of our sponsors today, magic bra company, their bras are brilliant” and it’s a blatant ad for a minute. That’s how they make their money on them. It’s standard for YouTube/podcasts and kinda annoying to our British sensibilities but you just tune it out after a while. They will also plug their books and paid courses, and “patreon” when you send them a small monthly subscription for extra content/bonuses etc, but none of them are really that crazy expensive anyway. But just listening/subscribing to podcasts or YouTube channels is totally free.

This is such a nice thread!
Well done evryone.
That file organiser looks great for my dd, (who has dyslexia and, I think adhd ) and me. We both struggle to know how to organise anything. That’s why I don’t want mn to change ( just reading a different thread by MsAmerica) I can handle the simplicity of mn!
Just spent an hour trying to format a calendar I can understand..the empty squares at the end of the month/ beginning of the month completely confuse me! I thought I was just scatty but maybe not! Please tell me I’m not alone! Or maybe I am 🤭😀
Agree with just wash the dishes. Tho it doesn’t last!
Dp, who lives in a massive muddle tells me I’m mucky. My retort is he has one office to tidy, I have a whole house and never get round to my office. I’d like to tho, I hate being so muddled!
Still haven’t managed the towel cupboard. Tomorrow!
Good luck all

Agree, washing the dishes doesn’t last, because we insist on keeping using them every day and getting them dirty again, the fools that we are but what Dana calls “dishes math” is definitely a thing. The first day you Do The Dishes it can take hours. But the next day, less time. Once you’ve done them every day for a week it’s virtually no time because you’re putting things in the dishwasher as you go along automatically. But you do have to keep doing that. Even if the rest of the house is still a disaster. It is like flicking the first clunky domino but it does start to trickle to everything else. Slowly.

@LemonViolet

No podcasts are free. They are “sponsored” which means in the middle of it she’ll suddenly switch to “let me tell you about one of our sponsors today, magic bra company, their bras are brilliant” and it’s a blatant ad for a minute. That’s how they make their money on them. It’s standard for YouTube/podcasts and kinda annoying to our British sensibilities but you just tune it out after a while. They will also plug their books and paid courses, and “patreon” when you send them a small monthly subscription for extra content/bonuses etc, but none of them are really that crazy expensive anyway. But just listening/subscribing to podcasts or YouTube channels is totally free.

Thank you for this.

Off to subscribe to clutterbug and a slob comes clean.
This might even be better than flylady.
Although I did respond to fly lady’s “you’re not behind just jump in..”