Please will you kindly support and advise me, as I try to help a friend sort out his home? THREAD 2

[EatingTheElephantInChunks]

THREAD 2

All constructive posts very welcome, whether you are an old familiar, usually a lurker or completely new to the thread. It would probably be helpful if new posters read my OP and my posts on the first thread before posting - many thanks.

No posts on Thread 2 please until the first thread is completely full - thank you.

It's a very valid and sensible question, Nutty, and I really appreciate your understanding and sensitivity about how much I can say. You're right, it's far from an easy house to live in and manage, from a practical viewpoint. The improvements I am making and hope to make will only go so far in addressing that. Having the trades in when possible will also help. But it still won't be an easy house. But it's his home, he has been there a long time and it is full of memories - both good and bad. I can't see him moving. He is tied to it, and not just for historical reasons or practical reasons such as the difficulty of moving. I just can't imagine him in something perhaps more sensible. So I think the plan has to be to stick with him and to gradually get him some practical help in the years ahead.

Glad to find you again. I wondered about your progress.

Thank you math and welcome back.

Thanks. All help very welcome! Oh dear, Nutty! I've lost count of the number of times I've had to remind myself, since the start of all this, that 'you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs'.

Hi Elephant, we’ll done on what you’ve achieved, I like checking on the updates.
How much more of the kitchen do you have to do?
Have the areas like the bathroom and the 2nd bedroom stayed tidy?
One of my children can’t sleep so I’m awake at stupid o clock.
I’m slowly getting through the garage, there had been a leak of something that has ruined some of my childhood books sadly.

Hello again everyone. Thank you, Filo and well done to you too, carrying on with your garage. I'm sorry to hear about the sleepless nights and your childhood books - I've been there. Try and find that leak, if you can, to stop it happening again. About the books, I know they're irreplaceable and it can be hard letting these things go - even if, with the ruined ones it sounds like you have to, sadly - but one thing you could do is try to locate copies of the most important ones to you - say on eBay? You could display them, perhaps to read with your own DC, and that might be a bit of a comfort?

As for the bathroom, stairs, landing and temporary bedroom, it's mixed fortunes, which is fine and I expected it would be. Change wasn't going to be perfectly executed overnight with such a long term situation, and then on top we have had the pandemic and my absences during this time. One problem is having nowhere else to put things and rooms having to be multi-functional - this is something which is becoming less of a problem, for example with the kitchen now gradually coming back on stream. I think that will begin to help enormously with the cleared and cleaned rooms and areas staying as they are intended.

As for the kitchen, off the top of my head and in no particular order, the main chunks still for tackling are:

1. Clean table legs!
2. Clear and clean - large, stuffed and piled high - dresser and behind and underneath it if I can edge it out once empty.
3. Wash down hall door and surrounds and disused radiator again and mop that just-chunked area of floor again.
4. Arrange removal and collection of washing machine with added muscles.
5. Clear and clean underneath and behind the washer and unhook it from the plumbing - carving knife and sou'wester at the ready.
6. Measure up and order new table protector for underneath the oilcloth. When I took the old oilcloth off, I found the protector wasn't in as good a condition as I had thought. I had to throw it away - it would probably also have held the old unwelcome aromas of damp and so on.
7. The fireplace - very full, possibly including former birds - grate and hearth.
8. The log basket of doom.
9. Clear and clean the floor to ceiling built in alcove cupboard on the fireplace wall.

10. Clear and clean behind and underneath the Moth Unit, ponder if and how it can be brought back into use for storing things - any ideas, anyone? - and dynamite the stuck drawer open only joking, do not try this at home, I am just frustrated that the wriggling isn't working. 11. Clear and clean the other alcove on the fireplace wall - mainly things in plastic storage crates. 12. Find rightful places for as much as possible of what has been sorted as 'to keep' and is currently stored in bags and boxes in the kitchen. 13. Install Puss and paraphernalia from around the house. I have already had to give in and transfer the scratching post early because the guilty purty thought the swish new doormat I put down was just purfect for claw maintenance! 14. Order dehumidifier. 15. Order music playing thingy. 16. Put up hooks for coats and tea towels, away from the old leak and crumbling corner of ceiling by the back door. 17. Drink tea, eat cake, drink gin. Favourite chunks by far

I'm sure I've forgotten something, but that's certainly enough to keep me out of mischief for a while. I still owe a few replies - I haven't forgotten - bear with. Test card again.

Can you access the stuck drawer from below at all? By taking other drawers out, perhaps. That might help. For the log basket of doom, drag it outside and set fire to it.

Obviously you can't post pictures of your friend's house, but can you find pictures of something similar, so that we can visualise what you're coping with size-wise?

Yup you definitely won’t get much mischief time! I think you said that you had a fire in an earlier post? Am sure you know this but I confess I hadn’t thought about it really but when I got my chimneys swept the man cautioned against lighting long unswept chimneys because if the risk of C02 leaks. One of our fireplaces can’t be used as it leaks into my bedroom!

This is very irrelevant on a warm day but I was presuming that chimneys may not have been swept. Maybe the chimney clean ups can wait until your friend can have people in then the sweep can have the dead birds and other goo.

good morning Ellie

I love your scoring system for difficult jobs

here are a few elephants and also a puss-cat, in honour of the other resident (what colour is s/he?)
🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘
🐱

As I found myself passing the cooker today with the vacuum cleaner, and tempted into vacuuming it a bit too, I remembered that is one chunk I had missed off my list - the cooker! The realisation hit me like a hard, burnt, long-forgotten former oven chip straight between the eyes. It looks a tiny bit better - drop in the ocean again better - with a bit of a vacuum anyway. As I saw the yuck technical term again around the end of poor DHenry's hose nose/trunk I was reminded of the top tip from vandal to give it a rinse out with the hosepipe outdoors. I certainly will do now!

I like your style, Chem, about the log basket - and it certainly made me laugh! Very tempting. I will report further following inspection at arm's length. I have tried from one side and underneath with the stuck drawer - nothing gives. I have tried again with the vacuum and will try again with a knife. I suspect it is multiple cocoons. I never expected to be typing that. I have typed an awful lot of things that I never expected to be typing this nearly three years, come to that.

I would love to oblige, sue, with posting a 'similar' picture as you suggest, but I am quietly but fiercely protective of privacy and so I will continue to paint the best picture I feel I can, if that's ok. Apologies.

Fear not, no fires yet, Marg, until after the sweep has been. All the sweeps I've ever had work for me over the years - we've got working fireplaces at home too - have always expected the grate to be fairly clear, but I can ask. Have you had a different experience - that they will clear away a lot of debris?

Thank you, Ring! If in doubt, get the gin out. Puss is quite unusual so I'd better not say, other than looking quite at home with those elephants.

Tea break over. Better get a wriggle on. The sunflowers are still going strong.

If the moth unit is dry could you store things in sealed plastic storage tubs in there. Say table linen, cat food, stuff that isn't too precious but needs a home. I have a cupboard that is on our party wall and it is randomly damp, no obvious cause but anything paper based put in there goes a bit grim. So I store spare crockery and cutlery and bottles of cheap fizz that will never be drunk in there (note to self clear out the alcohol in said cupboard that hasn't been touched for 10 years 🤦🏻)

@EatingTheElephantInChunks

Hello again everyone. Thank you, Filo and well done to you too, carrying on with your garage. I'm sorry to hear about the sleepless nights and your childhood books - I've been there. Try and find that leak, if you can, to stop it happening again. About the books, I know they're irreplaceable and it can be hard letting these things go - even if, with the ruined ones it sounds like you have to, sadly - but one thing you could do is try to locate copies of the most important ones to you - say on eBay? You could display them, perhaps to read with your own DC, and that might be a bit of a comfort?

As for the bathroom, stairs, landing and temporary bedroom, it's mixed fortunes, which is fine and I expected it would be. Change wasn't going to be perfectly executed overnight with such a long term situation, and then on top we have had the pandemic and my absences during this time. One problem is having nowhere else to put things and rooms having to be multi-functional - this is something which is becoming less of a problem, for example with the kitchen now gradually coming back on stream. I think that will begin to help enormously with the cleared and cleaned rooms and areas staying as they are intended.

As for the kitchen, off the top of my head and in no particular order, the main chunks still for tackling are:

1. Clean table legs!
2. Clear and clean - large, stuffed and piled high - dresser and behind and underneath it if I can edge it out once empty.
3. Wash down hall door and surrounds and disused radiator again and mop that just-chunked area of floor again.
4. Arrange removal and collection of washing machine with added muscles.
5. Clear and clean underneath and behind the washer and unhook it from the plumbing - carving knife and sou'wester at the ready.
6. Measure up and order new table protector for underneath the oilcloth. When I took the old oilcloth off, I found the protector wasn't in as good a condition as I had thought. I had to throw it away - it would probably also have held the old unwelcome aromas of damp and so on.
7. The fireplace - very full, possibly including former birds - grate and hearth.
8. The log basket of doom.
9. Clear and clean the floor to ceiling built in alcove cupboard on the fireplace wall.

10. Clear and clean behind and underneath the Moth Unit, ponder if and how it can be brought back into use for storing things - any ideas, anyone? - and dynamite the stuck drawer open only joking, do not try this at home, I am just frustrated that the wriggling isn't working. 11. Clear and clean the other alcove on the fireplace wall - mainly things in plastic storage crates. 12. Find rightful places for as much as possible of what has been sorted as 'to keep' and is currently stored in bags and boxes in the kitchen. 13. Install Puss and paraphernalia from around the house. I have already had to give in and transfer the scratching post early because the guilty purty thought the swish new doormat I put down was just purfect for claw maintenance! 14. Order dehumidifier. 15. Order music playing thingy. 16. Put up hooks for coats and tea towels, away from the old leak and crumbling corner of ceiling by the back door. 17. Drink tea, eat cake, drink gin. Favourite chunks by far

I'm sure I've forgotten something, but that's certainly enough to keep me out of mischief for a while. I still owe a few replies - I haven't forgotten - bear with. Test card again.

Just adding:

18. Clean cooker.
19. Thoroughly clean inside the Moth Unit and move it across the kitchen to next to the sink unit - the space vacated by the washing machine - to cover the plumbing and to provide another much-needed work surface near to a plug socket.
20. Book chimney sweep - hurrah!

What a list! It’s an epic undertaking. Delighted it wasn’t you who had the fire and yes I have found my sweep will take anything away. We had a new roof and a large quantity of debris was chucked down the chimney by our dodgy roofer. The sweep took buckets of rubble away!

Thanks for that, Marg. I will probably leave the fireplace until last or thereabouts then and ask if they will clear it out when I ring round for availability and quotes. It would certainly save me what looks like a triple gin job! Our own usual sweep has retired now - he was quite a character, of the lovely old fashioned kind. I hope your roof was and is ok, despite the dodgy roofer?!

PS Yes - the list is daunting, looking at it, now I've written it all down in - hopefully! - its entirety. It's probably best I don't look at it again and just focus back in on getting on with each chunk as and when I can.

Thanks for that, Pash - that's a good idea about the Moth Unit. As you'll see from my list, I've decided to move it. I also wonder whether the vacuum cleaner will fit in part of it to get that out of the way, rather than where it is at the moment - by the back door for ease of frequent use!

I will be joining you in clearing out the alcohol - I think I've mentioned before that there are quite a few bottles of wine, fizz and spirits in and on top of the very tall - almost floor to ceiling - built in cupboard on the fireplace wall - some of it has been there for 25 years or so. Although I imagine most of it should go, and I remember the good advice that if he hasn't used it for all those years then it should, but it would also be nice to know if any of it should be kept.

@EatingTheElephantInChunks

PS Yes - the list is daunting, looking at it, now I've written it all down in - hopefully! - its entirety. It's probably best I don't look at it again and just focus back in on getting on with each chunk as and when I can.

I have had to have a little sit down after reading your list, I am exhausted! Good plan though to continue with concentrating on chunks rather than the big picture.

When you get to the booze (wine?) if you post details here or PM me I am happy to Google whether it is worth keeping or not. I don't imagine spirits go "off" never had a bottle long enough to find out

Going back to your question, Nutty, and thinking about it since - if he ever does want or need to move, then doing this will also help give him that option or at least make it easier. As things stood - and still stand, really, despite what I have done so far - moving hasn't really been an option. He was and is trapped here by things, really, even to the extent of feeling anxious about going on a little holiday and leaving the house as it is. Nor was it easy to find or have things suitable and ready for a little jaunt away.

Thanks, fourq - that would be a great help. I can't get to it at the moment because I have things piled in front of that cupboard and it is too far away even to get to the bottles on top via the stepladders. I will need to move those things to put the Moth Unit in its new place, so I will take a look then. I knew I could rely on you for the booze.

Still on that subject, I forgot to mention that I uncovered a large bottle of Pimm's near ground level when I cleared the last avalanche area in the kitchen. That's our summer sorted. I also wondered about making a pitcher with mint from my friend's garden to mark the three year point. If wishes were horses, I would be passing glasses - well, probably an assortment of mugs - around to all the herd who have supported and advised me not just kindly, but with wisdom and wit. Thank you for doing what it says on the tin and more.

Sorry, that should have been five s not three at the end. I was mixing up my s with my bottles. I don't want anyone to think I am giving the herd a three review.

Just caught up on these two epic threads!
It sounds like your friend was buried alive by his stuff and you are slowly digging him free.

I am a bit concerned about how much time and effort you are giving this; firstly - when does it end? And secondly, could it burn you out? I know you are treading respectfully around your friend's boundaries, but this might be a good time to enlist a cleaner/gardener to keep tidy the bits you have cleared. Otherwise you could be reporting back in another three years, throwing out new rubbish that has piled up!

Moth repellant

I've used the drawer sachets & wardrobe hangers, which seemed effective against a small invasion:

www.lakeland.co.uk/brands/moth-stop

*repellent - sorry!

Joining in to say hello and express my huge admiration for you, OP. I have been following your endeavours, you are such a staunch friend. Illuminating re the impact of ‘stuff’ and life just gradually getting out of control, step by step, day by day, piece by piece.

Re moths, I use the Lakeland moth stop that decobwebbing mentions above, seems effective. I live in a 30s semi with a bit of a moth problem and whilst it’s not completely gone, it’s under control.

and and to you!