The Hoarders Anonymous #5

[CherryMargo]

Thread #1 | Thread #2 | Thread #3 | Thread #4

Is your house/flat in a complete mess? Do you often feel overwhelmed and helpless when it comes to sorting it out? Do you procrastinate a lot? Do you struggle to declutter due to emotional attachment or decision-making fatigue? Are you embarrassed to invite people in?

Then you and us have a lot in common!

Join in for advice, encouragement and support. Here we share our struggles no matter how big, and celebrate our progress no matter how small. Welcome to thread number five! 🤗

P. S. Here are the links to various methods mentioned in previous threads:

The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

Various errands I mean, not spots.

Negative day today... ie shopping coming into the flat.

I chucked an empty bottle of shampoo into the recycling. I need to deal with the nearly empty conditioner bottles.

I am well rested after respite, though didn't sleep last night very well. I didn't do much sorting but tried to take stuff with me on trips up and down from the loo or to the kitchen. I did masses of washing though. Put the sheets and duvet cover back on D's bed.

Got a shopping delivery coming as well.

Need to tackle washing up, loads of washing still, and sorting the fridge.

Nettleskeins tbh, the guilt is more over chucking the jars into landfill even more than the contents.

I forgot that today was going to be brilliant weather here. So, sat outside in the sunshine cutting back more of the fallen tree, to be able to get at a semi crushed (plastic) greenhouse tomorrow. Hoping to address some of the damage while the weather is good even though it means leaving other things half done. Had to stop when not very wonderful neighbor came out and started.
Amounted to one dustbin full, cut into very small pieces in the hope it gets picked up by rubbish collectors. They may refuse it, but other neighbors reckon if it’s cut up small enough, they’ll take it.
We’re not allowed to burn anything and now there’s an additional annual charge on garden waste. I’d compost it but I already have far too much in the way of twigs and chopped branches from my own little trees, as well as two crushed ones to deal with, and the fallen one is bigger than mine put together.

Well done on tree chopping.

There are 3 minutes left for my shopping slot and no sign as yet. Got some washing up done though.

Thanks. Hope the shopping's turned up by now.

Elleherd Independence is everything.

ClaraTheImpossibleGirl Mine is a shark and does have an on/off switch and an extra toggle if your want to boost it. But I am doing everything on the normal and it works great.

ToDoListAddictWelcome Sounds like you are making a great start.

I had all the other posts but I need to go and read to my youngest, everyone is doing brilliantly.

I managed to get the dustbin bin to take three extra bags, so we don’t fill out bin as soon as it is emptied.

Kept kitchen clean and had a couple of laundry done. One in the dryer (thanks DH) and the other I need to hang up.

My shoulder is hurting a lot, I hope I just slept on it funny. I am NOT having any other health problems

Any how my DD is calling for me.

Well done to you all :) It's so good to do even little things, isn't it?

Not much done today...Got home from work, took the sheets off the bed, washed a dark load, along with the fitted (dark coloured) sheet. Went through a few drawers, and had Dd try on a few things, only one of which she could get on. The others are going in the 'to sell' box. Cleaned the bathroom sink. Empty shower gel bottle, and Elbow Grease squirty bottle into recycling bag in the kitchen; two more plastic bottles gone! Made dinner. Got Dd's PE kit ready (from the airer) for tomorrow.
Must wash dishes before bed, and make Dd's lunch, and make up my bed before I can get into it!

Babies I have a rotator cuff problem; so I hope you don't have more than a slept awkward shoulder.

Nice to read everyone's updates.

I tried to get rid of four books today but I think the little library has been removed (maybe because of coronavirus fears). Anyway I'll try a second hand book shop on another day.

I had been procrastinating with some paperwork recently, it took me three months to do it when really it only took five minutes.

I think I belong here. Not a hoarder, but I need to ensure it stays that way.

I still have pantry moths. I honestly have tried so hard to eliminate them.

Welcome @AmberItsACertainty!

Ok. Booking the kerbside pick up is the easy bit! Actually we've put everything out now, and when it's gone tomorrow I'll be relieved and happy. We found a load of junk in the garage. Lots of cardboard boxes from moving house two and a half years ago. Broken things, old things, old car seat. My kids make things from the recycling and then they hang around for a while, then if I'm lucky I can chuck them out without anyone getting upset. I found so many of these creations! I've got rid of worn out shoes, they've got holes, and worn out boots. I'm pleased to be getting rid of it all. I'm glad it's done. I didn't fret about it too much. I had one or two fretful thoughts but once we started making our pile we just got on with it. I will really feel relief once it's gone.

Well done everyone on any clutter that's gone!! I remembered to put our green (composting) bin out for collection last week, which means it's available for me to fill with garden waste again, hooray. I do need to get more compost to start planting properly, plus find a sunny surface indoors to get some seeds started; I'd like to have a cold frame in the garden but don't think it's very practical at the moment with small DC kicking a football around at every opportunity!

@Babieseverywhere that Shark sounds better designed than my Dyson

@Nettleskeins I don't mind paperwork but I get overwhelmed with the sheer amount of the stuff that we get. For example school communicate with us via email, an app, Twitter, notes home and notices in the classroom window; surely it could all be streamlined somehow?! And then there's things like online banking, which is theoretically easier, but in reality is (for me) only easier 75% of the time, the rest of the time I need to actually speak to someone. It's just information overload really, and then I feel the need to bury my head in the sand for a while

Another one here that puts stuff straight on the phone calendar @DownUdderer! And I duplicate it on a physical calendar just in case!!

@Elleherd your council sound rather penny-pinching with a charge for garden waste + a ban on burning anything... what do they suggest you do instead? Or is it that you'd simply have to pay the extra? Not helpful for people on a budget who want to keep their garden tidy...

Day one of the Easter hard work holidays done. DS1 has been particularly challenging he is borderline ASD and it's just tricky managing him whilst also entertaining DS2. Emotionally he seems far younger - it's like looking after a 5yo and a 3yo rather than two 5yo boys - and my nerves are constantly on edge waiting for the next meltdown. He absolutely lost it earlier; we were in the garden doing some tidying and I moved something that (unbeknownst to me) he didn't want me to move. Cue 20 minutes of absolute meltdown, howling, sobbing, rolling around etc. He doesn't sleep well and he doesn't eat well (very fussy) which doesn't help he is - or at least can be - such a sweet, kind, loving little boy, but just... hard work. Sigh. I think someone on here has autistic DC (possibly @BlackeyedSusan? Many apologies if I'm wrong!) and I completely take my hat off to them, he is difficult enough on his own without other DC as well. And then I feel bad that I'm neglecting DS2 and/ or putting more on to him than he should have at his age. It's tough!

Sorry everyone, I thought I'd posted last night, but apparently it's only gone on this morning!!

got two autistic children, clara. well done on remembering. my short term memory has buggered off for the duration. it is one long senior moment here.

the waiting for the meltdown is something difficult to describe. it is like at any moment something might happen when they are in the house with you. we have blood curdling screams and banging on the desk, and swearing, lots of swearing ...

one is loud, one is anxious and flappy.

between us we are collecting diagnoses, alll of us are autistic, all of us are hypermobile but only the two of us with diagnoses. ds, being malem does not get so badly effected by it and will improve with puberty. dd and I get worse. there is asthma and allergies thrown in as well. plus another couple of possible things that need to be chased up when I am not too fatigued to go to the GP.

Warning: not for arachnophobes:

scroll on by...

not a lot of sleep last night. I had a fight with a spider. I think it bit me when I tried to squash it. bloody thing was running up the duvet towards me. needless to say I could not sleep for a very long time.

One of my twins has ASD Clara and quite frankly the elder son probably has it (he has a diagnosis now of dyspraxia) As you say so much time is spent ameliorating various upsets that there is little mental energy to think proactively hmm. However DH and I DID get better at this and we tended not to pile any further expectations or demands in ourselves. That is probably why our house is such a tip ...we have just stopped bothering too much about keeping up with the Joneses.

Dog has just been bitten by a Jack Russell on a lead, it's only a fleshwound but this has thrown my plans into disarray...feeling a bit sorry for myself and him, we are cuddled up on sofa, going to get for antibiotic injection later. It is like small children over again...never make plans..

Susan nature is red in tooth and claw!

Another ASD household here. I feel a lot of my issues are related to my own poor executive function - I have no diagnosis but now I know more about ASD in girls I have suspicions. I also feel ADHD inattentive type fits me to a tee.

Unfortunately my child is very attached to stuff and collections and everything staying the same all the time so it is very tricky to make decluttering progress (though I’m not sure what my excuse was before that )

There are a lot of SEN parents on the other decluttering thread too. I’m sure there’s a connection. Completely agree with the comment about the time spent dealing with upsets and mental energy put into predicting and avoiding triggers etc for anyone struggling.

@Nettleskeins oh no, poor dog! What a shock for you all.

Hoarding and ASD/ADHD are so linked. Executive function makes it so hard to make decisions etc.

I was diagnosed autistic about 5 years back, ADHD 2019. My older two are diagnosed autistic and have had private screenings for various other things like adhd

My diagnosis is hardly a month old. Beginning of this half term.

Such a neurodiverse thread, interesting about the link to hoarding. Not only executive function but being bloody knackered too.

Well I caught up on sleep this afternoon. Other jobs today: washing one load of darks. on the receiving end of a phone call from school, fly catching, collecting a child from part way home, as they were too tired to do the rest. Sitting in ex's garden in the sun, while waiting for the bits of dd's routine to settle back from where I disrupted it. And sitting on my backside again.
I get productive in the evening, so hopefully will tackle some more washing and washing up

Hope the dog is ok.

The gas man returned, and that is all fine (a few hours of rushing around wiping things and pulling more stuff out of cupboards), and the dog has seen vet who said fleshwound, painkilling injection and keep him quietly pottering at home for next three days. So I feel like I am on holiday after all that excitement (don't like excitement )
I tried in vain to get DD to clean the bathroom, finally at the eleventh hour before gasman appeared I managed to give it a scrub with hot soapy water. She was actually jealous, oh mum I was just about to do the taps!

Anyway she is getting into cleaning glass...mirrors windows pictures and takes great satisfaction at telling me how dreadfully dusty they were until she saved the day..

My coriander, dill and sunflower seedlings are all coming through.

Clara there is no way I could have had a greenhouse area when mine were into football...the garden was just for jumping and throwing things and climbing

Clara twins are often out of synch, my theory is that nature intends it that way to reduce the competition. Then each has their niche. DD was so advanced compared to ds2 (her twin) but then it meant she was demanding in another way, every stage had its blessings...I think I loved all the things ds2 still enjoyed that DD had grown out of, and maybe it ws a mistake to expect them to be equally matched. And for DD it ws better to treat her as an elder in developmental terms rather than expecting her to be compared or look after ds2. It is like siblings who are different ages, I just found the problem is that "school"makes you compare abilities, and there is this PTSD feeling that one is never going to get over the trauma of dealing with two babies at once...even when they are 10!!

My sister said to me (rare) quarrels between her teenage sons trigger her now because she has horrid memories of them fighting in the back seat aged 4 7 and 9 and feeling powerless as she was driving..

It's strange because my family has a lot of autism too. My Ds 'has markers' but they wouldn't give him an actual dx. My Dd is convinced she has ADHD, and possibly does. They also have EDS. My brother and his Ds and youngest Dd are autistic, and he reckons I do too (probably - there are 'things' I recognise). I also have a bit of OCD. Maybe there is a link.

Well, today...I left work and went to mum's place - she's in hospital. I intended to be there for just a few minutes but ended up being there nearly 7 hours, cleaning her kitchen, doing a wash load and dishwasher load. My brother and his eldest Dd have been there several times, and have eaten there, and bloody well left the washing up in the sink, and crumbs everywhere . I'm so annoyed with him in particular! He doesn't work, and couldn't be bothered to wash the dishes he'd used. He also told me he'd taken all the perishables...nope! I found mouldering food stuffs.

So, nothing done here in my home today.

DownUdderer pantry moth. I had this last year. I cleaned and vacuumed the kitchen cupboards every day, threw out contaminated foodstuffs, and placed bay leaves all over the kitchen cabinets/shelves. Touch wood, it seemed to do the trick. I snapped the dried leaves to bring out their scent.
Nettle poor doggie!

Washing up and bed for me.