The Hoarders Anonymous #5

[CherryMargo]

Thread #1 | Thread #2 | Thread #3 | Thread #4

Is your house/flat in a complete mess? Do you often feel overwhelmed and helpless when it comes to sorting it out? Do you procrastinate a lot? Do you struggle to declutter due to emotional attachment or decision-making fatigue? Are you embarrassed to invite people in?

Then you and us have a lot in common!

Join in for advice, encouragement and support. Here we share our struggles no matter how big, and celebrate our progress no matter how small. Welcome to thread number five! 🤗

P. S. Here are the links to various methods mentioned in previous threads:

The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

Hey solo! I still haven’t finished the last thread 😂😳

I’ve been doing more digital decluttering. My inbox is now down to 65 unread! I’ve deleted loads of read ones too and made folders for stuff I do need to keep.

You’ve been so productive Solo! I think smallish laundry loads work much better if you don’t have a dryer - in our house two smaller loads hold more and dry faster than one big load. I’m a recent convert!

Wow @SingToTheSky 65 unread is fantastic. I just checked and currently have 17492 unread emails in my personal inbox . My work one is not quite as bad but still has thousands of unread emails.

That is not the highest number among my friends miaowse :o

I need to continue with files, notes etc, and also my old gmail and hotmail accounts, but some of it is a bit harder while the iPad is out of action (the screen smashed and I seriously need to sort it... I’m getting better at life admin stuff but for some reason I’m still procrastinating big time over this)

That makes me feel better!

We found a guy locally who fixes smashed screens and have now used him a few times but felt like a gamble the first time.

Haven’t got that far so far, and haven't got helper started yet, but food was promised, so…

Solo I struggle to keep up with the thread let alone catch up on an earlier one!
Sympathies on the clothes mix up, but you also have another bag that’s and easy out at least. I spotted and dealt with the first clothes/pantry moth of this year yesterday. It’s impossible to defeat here, all the flats here have them in varying amounts.

BlackeyedSusan Brexit issues here too. Large quantities of medical condition stuff have built up with constant warnings to expect shortages and price rises, just at the point I was turning around compulsive over stocking.

Babieseverywhere So infuriating to have to keep redoing the same space, sounds like at least DH can see the cost.

SingToTheSky Miaowse I’m so impressed! Afraid I’m beyond overwhelmed on the digital clutter front.

DownUdderer I’m guilty of pavement pickups! We had a spate of new house buyers chucking out un, or barely, used display furniture.

It would be interesting to know if there would be more or less temptation somewhere that you knew there would be a more ‘opportunity’ coming automatically. I’ve come to understand some of my behavior is prompted by an idea of ‘you have one chance only.’
You know the way most people look at how they’d spend the lottery, I quietly work out what I could let go of easily, If I knew I could replace it if I actually needed to.

That’s the worry miaowse it’s scary handing over a very expensive device!

We’ve just spent ages going through the main paperwork box. Thrown out a massive pile of stuff I’ve no idea why we were keeping 🤔 so out of date! Well, actually we’ve not thrown it yet as I need to pull out some to shred first. But the box is much more organised. I haven’t even put stuff in order precisely, just divided into categories as it’s a concertina folder thingy. So I have one pocket for all DD1’s medical stuff, one for DS’ and a separate one from his (failed) DLA application etc.

Anyone know if you need to keep divorce papers once you’ve been remarried for ages? And the kids are adults so access/maintenance agreements no longer relevant?

@Elleherd oh wow, I do that lottery imagining thing too! It would feels safer discarding if you knew you could buy again if needed. My fantasy is being able to buy a new house and keeping my stuff in the old house so I could access it as/when needed and sort it at my leisure.

Also with you all on the medical stocks for brexit. A prescription recently changed so I’m using up half old half new (HCP suggested this, but probably thought it would just be for about a month or so). The stuff is very bulky so it will make a difference not having so much extra - just hope supplies remain stable.

I can only do a few "organising"things a day, mentally I mean. So I'm not even going to think about the horrific muddle of my digital trail today
I found another disused laptop under something yesterday...I've no idea where cable is or the password even, or why I stopped using it. But I will have a think about next week.

Meanwhile I have been on a long walk and kept "on top" of hall table...
Went into ds2s room...no response from him...so rather than shout at him I cleaned a bit of the bathroom, did some laundry.
DD is full of creative ideas at the moment, oddly enough clashing with my own desire to get back to ground zero...no I am not painting the kitchen green or putting in a skylight, today...nor am I going to even think about these things!!!

I hear you nettle I worry about the physical impact of decluttering due to the health issues, I genuinely can’t manage the actual sorting, lifting etc most days at the moment.

But the mental strain of it is absolutely not to be ignored. It’s huge. Making a decision about every item in a bag or box is really taxing! When I’m properly decluttering all the boxes of random crap I get really emotional and wobbly after purely from being burned out mentally. Often I just “crash” midway surrounded by crap.

Getting my ADHD medicated has helped a bit with this. I have a bit more mental clarity and can make more decisions, it seems, without epic fatigue. I still have to be careful though, hence today I didn’t try and weed out even more and didn’t try to organise the stuff within their categories. And I’m going to try and relax for a bit now - I’ve barely moved all day but I know my brain is just DONE for a bit, so I’ll be watching some easy comedy for a bit while the others go for a walk.

I’ve done similar with emails - once I’d got rid of the easier stuff like marketing emails I put a few folders in like kids’ clubs, kids’ medical, studying etc and moved stuff into them so I can deal with them all in one place later.

But I really don’t think I’d have managed any of this without the medication TBH, not without feeling like I was taking a quantum physics exam in an alien language. While wearing a blindfold. 😂

@Nettleskeins great results!!! 👍 As for the menu, I used to have a similar issue over here, and ended up eating the same stuff over and over again, which only led to severe vitamin and micronutrient deficiencies. You mentioned vitamin D levels above – mine was at… 9 😱 The doctors could not believe I was still able to stand upright and function. My B9, B12 and iron levels were also critically low. I’m sure there were other contributing factors and not just poor diet but still… so I really needed to diversify my meals and to stock up on a bunch of Solgar food supplements, and when I learnt about FlyLady’s 5-week rotation, I thought I’d give it a try.

I already see one benefit – I no longer stress over ‘what’s for dinner’. I’m sure there will be nights when I really-really don’t fancy what I’ve pre-planned, but I will be able to go for another option since my Friday shopping list includes meal ingredients for ten days that follow.

@Babieseverywhere haha we’re kindred spirits for sure! 🤝 I also must thank you for mentioning the Thortful website. I didn't even know of its existence, but I can definitely make use of it. Currently I’m relying on the Word document which lists all the important dates like holidays, birthdays and anniversaries, and the Excel spreadsheet 😉 which serves as an address/phone book (thanks to FlyLady’s advice). Having it all set up with reminders on a postcard & flowers/gifts website would make it even easier. The more automated I can make my regular tasks and chores the better, as it will give me more time to address more serious and long-overdue issues.

@DownUdderer setting a goal with a deadline helps me, too! Otherwise, I can procrastinate for literally years. I’m still cleaning and organising my kitchen, and what keeps pushing me is my deadline which is Easter.

@Elleherd glad to hear that you’re feeling better, and hooray for binning that thing 👍 Also, many thanks for sharing information on vitamin absorption issues caused by a lack of bile salts. It might be a reason why my vitamin D level had dropped to 9 (see my reply to Nettleskeins above). I need to read on the topic! 🧐

@SingToTheSky oh I should have mentioned digital clutter in the thread’s original post! It can be just as energy-draining and overwhelming as physical clutter. It’s something that I’ve been trying to sort out bit by bit over the last 20 months. I hope we both celebrate the completion of this task soon!

Awful lot of effort to move what amounted to not that much stuff. But it’s a start and very slightly more room to work in.

Much of today has gone to managing my help, keeping my patience, trying to get them to keep theirs, but refusing to take too much.
Their helping is both massively owed and well overdue as part of an exchange that I’ve done my side of. However they forget easily and live in the now (ASD) and it often doesn’t end well. There’s always a lot of attempted sabotage going on. Big full moon doesn’t help either.

Found displaced item belonging to a project who need it to continue forward. Relief. (Had to bring quite a lot of the project’s materials home when the pandemic hit and things get moved, buried etc)

Chucked: Three shoe rack drawers, one pair of shoes, a carrier bag of recyclable materials, plus large plastic sheet, and a carrier bag of rubbish. The rest of the shoe rack put to one side to be broken down and outed.
I was just on my way out of the door to take things to public recycling bins when I saw the disinfectant bottle with half an inch in it that has sat on the hall shelf for forever and thought of Nettleskeins half used shampoo bottle! Disinfectant hit the mop bucket and the bottle came out with the rest of the stuff.

Ten half-used bottles,
cluttering up the place.
Ten half-used bottles,
cluttering up the place.
But if one half used bottle,
Joined the recycling race,
there’d be; nine half used bottles,
less clutter and a space.

Nine half used bottles…

I love the idea of slightly irritable werewolf helping you Elle
It wsnt me with the halfused bottle...I think it was Solo. I have been known to eat cheese rinds and very old saucers of cold veg, just to justify removing them from fridge though...

Getting things out of the house is such a great feeling!

I made some lemon syllabub today with old glass ramekins and a few teaspoons of left over whisky. Nice to use those unused ramekins...ive felt calmer in the kitchen since tidying it a bit, it is easier to cook when you know where things are

It continues quite difficult co existing with teens though. Mornings peaceful, then loud noise and contrariness. I long for them to go out and see people again. Dd is having people round though next week in the garden...mixed feelings from me why she has energy for this but not "helping". I shouldnt be too hard on them though, both studying and generally cooped up socially.

Just adding a message to get this on to my 'Threads I'm On'

(Thank you @CherryMargo for the new thread!)

I'm reading Get Your Sh!t Together at the moment, it promises to give you a good kick up the arse to get you to actually accomplish things. True to form I am currently procrastinating by going on MN instead

I had a mixed day. Still keeping up with the kitchen. Didn't get most of my daily jobs done. Did go for walk around the village with one of my children. So tired today, I fell asleep sat upright on the sofa!

However my lovely DH has seen me struggling with our hoover (heavy upright with cord) and bought me a light cordless one instead. I managed to hoover the stairs on my stair lift with it! I am so pleased, to have the independence, to do it myself. If that makes sense.

Clara let us know if you find any gems in there.
Babieseverywhere Glad your DH can see that simple changes can make life work better. Independence always makes sense.
Sorry Solo for mixing you up with Nettleskeins.
Appreciate the vision of ‘irate werewolf.’ May try and use it to diffuse if the moment seems right.
Still trying to get of the starting blocks here. Seems we all have a hefty cold to add to things.

That's so thoughtful of your DH @Babieseverywhere. I love my Dyson cordless but hate having to hold the on button to get it to work, it'd be so much easier with an on/off switch! If only Mr Dyson could ask for my feedback and pay me lots for it that would be amazing

No further with the book, just too busy over the weekend entertaining the DC. And with the Easter holidays coming up it's not looking likely that I'll get much spare time...

Hope you all feel better soon @Elleherd

So glad I found this thread!
Been struggling so much with the amount of stuff in my house. Every room is cluttered!
I actually found some motivation this weekend and cleared 4 big black bags of my clothes out of my wardrobe for recycling!
I also finally took photos of the things I wanted to sell and put them on Facebook.
This is definitely going to be a very long process but I'm so glad I've finally started!

:) I don't mind being mixed up with any of my friends! My conditioner bottle only had an inch in there!
I haven't tidied this weekend at all. I've done washing. Fed Dd. Washed up (still got todays' to do). Took up both trouser hems on a pair of trousers that belonged to my late SIL, ready to be charity shopped.

Right. Washing up, Dd's school lunch, clothes ready for the morning to do, and then bed for me.

Night all.

I've taken two bags of things to the charity shop. I had to do it as soon as I decided that they could go out the door. They've lingered around for more than a year. I took them in the car and felt lighter after I handed them over.

I've spent the morning organizing my walk in wardrobe. It's much better. It's not finished. I will have another look at it after lunch.

I've filled a box with rubbish ready to go out for my kerbside pickup.

I'm feeling decision fatigue. But I'm trying to just get things done. Sometimes a quick decision is best for me, and sometimes I can manage that, but then sometimes I get bogged down..I'm trying to avoid perfectionism.

Good luck everyone.

When the kids come home with forms to sign and that need money I really try and do it straight away, that way I know they won't get forgotten or lost. Some weeks there feels like ten million notes! Or birthday parties! I use the calendar on my phone to keep track of parties. And I will say I check and delete emails every day just because otherwise I'd be stressed.

I'm waiting for the second load of laundry to finish so I can hang it up.

My brain feels tired now. I'm pretty happy with progress in my wardrobe.

ToDoListAddict Hello and well done! Getting started and keeping up the momentum on de-cluttering is half the battle.

Clara good luck with the Easter -carnage- holidays.

Solo I should maybe change it to “Ten nearly empty bottles.” There was less than an inch of disinfectant left too.
Realised yesterday on the back of that there was very little reason not to take the two almost empty bottles of Flash & Febreze and tip the contents in to the one’s without blooming Febreze. Two less plastic bottles!

Down Udderer Can relate to the ‘must’ do it that exact moment. I’m new to being able to do it at all in many area’s but have realised how important it is to follow through the moment the possibility you could, presents.
I need to adopt your do it now approach with form filling at least. I used to be ok when it was for the kids, but now struggle so much with it, am always behind, and it gets me into so much trouble.

Yesterday didn’t get any more stuff into storage but did get a result in four black sacks and a small box, of stuff thrown and three carrier bags of recycling, and managed to cut up and dispose of a little bit more of the fallen tree.

Huge guilt around throwing some full jars into landfill, but couldn’t get the lids off and know that if I don’t get it out now while I can, I’m just stacking up future problems.

It’s taken quite a lot of mental shifting to throw things, and I’m praying this is the new me going into the future.

Had help with most of the tree and all of the carting of to ‘public’ bins. Whether we’re supposed to be using these bins is questionable as they’re for business waste, but they’re currently shut. However, it's the area I had to remove the business from which I had to pay the rates on and not get to use the services, everyone else is also using them and they’re getting emptied.
I suspect as lock down eases we won’t be able to continue using them and will be back to limited disposal.
Annoyingly despite years of supporting too much weight, it took me clearing to actually break two (separate) cupboard shelf supports, so they’re now on the have to repair list.

Not in the best shape today and little sleep, so looking for easy gains today.

4 black bags, and the many bags of recycling! Brilliant Elle. You are worth more than the contents of that jar. ..just keep repeating that to yourself...clearing stuff is for our health and wellbeing, and when we are ill or unhappy (with uncleared stuff around us) we are a far far greater drain on the environment and those around us, than landfill....

I struggle with all forms and all paperwork. I've even lost the ability to read a book I've missed the last three bookclyb books although I turned up for the zoom meetings I feel inner and outer clutter really stops me concentrating on anything productively...except dog walks which are therapeutic because no one asks for any result ( except the dog and he can't talk, just snooze happily when he has had a wonderful gambol)

A lot of anxiety this morning about various spots but the hall and study are holding up relatively well, and outside is full of lifegiving sunshine...if I take off my glasses I don't notice the pressure washing that needs doing, just the tulips no forget-me-nots have come up