The Hoarders Anonymous #5

[CherryMargo]

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Is your house/flat in a complete mess? Do you often feel overwhelmed and helpless when it comes to sorting it out? Do you procrastinate a lot? Do you struggle to declutter due to emotional attachment or decision-making fatigue? Are you embarrassed to invite people in?

Then you and us have a lot in common!

Join in for advice, encouragement and support. Here we share our struggles no matter how big, and celebrate our progress no matter how small. Welcome to thread number five! 🤗

P. S. Here are the links to various methods mentioned in previous threads:

The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

So I cleared the bathroom and tidied the kitchen hoard today. The bathroom hoard is in the bedroom, where there's so much stuff it hasn't made the place look any worse. Floor creep, amazing how much bigger it seems now without the beauty hoard, I hadn't actually noticed the room getting smaller because I only use the space in the middle anyway. The kitchen was a case of making better use of the storage I already had. It looks tidier and emptier in thee now, although nothing has been removed except the recycling.

I swear one day I will catch up with this thread! But in the last few weeks I barely had any energy, and the only tasks I’ve managed to complete were as follows:

🍒 took my winter coat to dry cleaners;
🍒 cleaned/sprayed/stuffed with paper/put away my winter boots;
🍒 put away my winter gloves;
🍒 washed/folded/put away my winter scarves and woolly cardigans/tops/socks;
🍒 cleaned/stuffed/put away my black ‘winter’ handbag, pulled out a brightly-coloured one from the accessories pile/hoard.

On May 10th I should be back in my kitchen (detailed cleaning again!), says FlyLady 😬 Time sure flies!

The trades men and the useless landlord certainly sound tiring and frustrating.

Good work to everyone making even a small amount of progress and everyone who is looking after themselves.

I have been procrastinating with the curtains this week. I will get there in the end and I will try and not beat myself up for being slow.

Today I wanted to procrastinate and ignore all the tidying and cleaning! But I pushed myself. I couldn't face tidying the hallway even though that could be a great job to get done. I just felt blocked mentally. Anyway I ordered myself to just go and lift up one or two items or find some trash to throw away. I cleaned off the top of a chest of drawers and I tidied and cleaned a bookshelf. I swept and I scrubbed down a mucky wall. I'm pleased it all looks good now.

"Just do anything at all" helped me today.

Lots of areas still need doing, but I am making progress. And today two more houseplants came home with me from Aldi.

Please don’t beat yourself up for being slower than intended with the curtains Down. It’s very selfish of me, but while I’ve been nervously watching for mildew and planning how to repair window frames and sills thanks to upstairs’ ongoing water leak, all the talk of upgrading window dressings and blue and orange velvet and patterns and walking feet has been so calming and therapeutic to read!

Morning basics and first pet run for GA done. Have quietly put her shower curtain into some diluted bleach and given it a scrub, as every time I have to use her toilet it’s scared me. Hopefully if she does notice she won’t mind. Will get it back up on next pet run after hospital meeting and will catch up with rest of thread later.

Elleherd I soaked my shower curtain in bleach recently and it came up brilliantly and looks/smells much fresher even without scrubbing.

Sounds like everyone is making good progress.

Today I bought some loppers for the pile of branches that have been sitting in this garden for six months. I have investigated woodchoppers and shredders and gardeners but this seems the quickest way to tackle it
Car has been an issue this week...trying to get a parking permit...no driveway...let it lapse without realising now cannot renew without docs which I cannot organise as not in right house .hmm. I knew I detested admin, but not doing it is much worse when it boomerangs back at you.

hi everyone
may I join?

I'm at the stage of...I can't seem to ever put anything away. I know it's half the battle, or more. I tried TOMM, the section aimed at people working Monday - Friday, the idea being you do a little bit each day so you don't end up having to do a weekend clean.

I still ended up doing a weekend clean tbh. I could hoover the flat now but it's too messy

I now have to cook dinner, eat it lol, then go to cast my vote. Realistically after that I am going to want to flop.

so I'm trying to aim for a clean up at the weekend and sorting out my balcony plants. Then after that I am going to try and do bits before work because after work they just won't get done.

It's the "putting things away" that throws me every time. Plus working at home means so much more cleaning, I find. I feel as if I could wipe the kitchen worktop a 100 times a day.

other people do actually seem to do that with no trouble at all. I just find housework so boring and repetitive and irritating.

I am toying with the idea of getting a cleaner and then I'd be forced to tidy? But it seems very lazy somehow when lots of people are perfectly on top of it and don't seem to notice they are doing it.

I posted on an ADHD thread but housework does seem to be my nemesis.

so maybe it's big jobs this weekend, then every day next week I need to create a habit of putting things away....

if you read all that, thank you!

Welcome Ostara,
We've all been discussing this problem and tbh I think the answer is decluttering rather than tidying. Tidying just moves things around in an unsatisfactory way, if there isn't a home for it.

Re kitchen worktops...yes that is a losing battle here. Better that I just allocate a few things as "surface dwellers". ie kettle, radio, paper pile (that includes books I'm reading and info to hand) and possibly a bowl of fruit. In our house we've ended up with coffee paraphenelia out too, but not the Nescafé jar or teabags.
I don't like empty worktops but it does give a feeling of calm when they are emptIER. I now just throw things in cupboards to this end, anything is better AWAY.
But you have to start with decluttering and while that is happening there will be more mess for a bit I feel (or at least that is my experience..and I stopped feeling so frightened of "rocking the boat" in that respect.

So my garden (or not mine but the one in tackling) is full of half finished "sorting" but I've made lots of progress in an ADHD sort of way. Branches chopped up. Another big pile of beech branches to chop up still. The old lino to cut into pieces.
Feel very envigorated by it.

Nettleskeins I hope my repair trials and tribulations don’t make you or anyone else feel even more avoidant about having them in. Good ones must also exist. I love the vision of tomatoes growing in mop buckets. Most of my mop handles are bright green, and they would actually make good stakes. Hopefully your loppers have a ratchet on them. Mine have revolutionized my abilities.

Solo I hope the inflammation reduces soon. It sounds horrible. Thank you for the CON in contractor, I’ll keep that one up my sleeve!

Amber Well done with the sorting and reorganizing. It’s strange how floor creep really does sneak up without us realizing.

Margo If you’re in the UK you’re very brave putting away your winter clothing! I’m still wearing all of mine!

Down I find the "Just do anything at all" fall back often rescues me from feeling that I’m losing the battle because I can’t work out what needs to happen in what order, because it all helps in the long run and keeps motivation up even when we think we have none.

Miaowse Bleach is wonderful stuff isn’t it, though this one appeared to need a little extra help.

Ostara Hello and welcome. I wouldn’t think it lazy to get a cleaner if you can afford it. It’s helping give someone a living!
However, if you can make yourself do it, it could be worth getting up ½ to ¾’s of an hour earlier and be religious about using the extra time on the tasks. In agreement with Nettleskeins about everything needing a home to be tidied away too, and decluttering is usually necessary to achieve that

Social worker’s organized for GA to move to other hospital tomorrow and for me to meet her off the ward and collect her washing and deliver new stuff before she’s transported.
Got her shower curtain back up, eventually! Much more difficult than I thought it would be. Got it down using a grabber to unhook it and stupidly assumed it would be just as easy to re-hook it up. I should know this but somehow, it didn’t compute ‘till to late!

Rest of today’s been attempting to negotiate with contractors and cleaning kitchen door and window-sills and scraping back paintwork prior to sanding. Should have been sorting and boxing stuff but spent forever dragging everything around to be able to get at and remove what appears to be ‘No More Nails’ or similar from the lino that the contractors have spattered everywhere, then scrubbed the lino to try and even out the now uber clean patches. It left me too shattered and hurting to sort and box more stuff, so tomorrow's another day.
Just about to do last pet run get back and hit the hay..

Welcome aboard Ostara :)
I am dreadful about putting things away.
I'm currently really suffering with my back pain, and I have deep fleshy numbness in my hip and thigh, and I can't get comfortable at all.
And my laptop is having another wobble AGAIN, so I'm on my phone which I hate posting from.
So nothing done here. Really fed up. So I'll try to catch up again soon.

And that didn't post for 3 hours!

I sorted a paperwork pile today, recycled or shredded most of it, filed the rest.

I'm going to get some cleaning/tidying done today. I'm just psyching myself up!

I've cleared a bookcase. It was totally gross, it had cupcake wrappers mixed in with paperwork. My middle child must've done it without thinking. So some bits were moldy. Gross! I am glad it's done and cleaned now.

I've found a few bits for the charity shop and I've filled a big full of rubbish and put it straight in the outside bin.

I've put away some clean clothes. I've sorted my sock basket.

I've bleached a small toy baby outfit, rinsed it, it's drying now.

I'm having a break now.

Solo Sympathies, awful when pain becomes unbearable and ends play. It's only fear and self-medicating pushing me through a lot at the moment, but I suspect I’m going to really pay for it all as soon as I slow down.
Well done Amber amazing how easily it builds up.
Down Well done. Our children are there to remind us there’s no such thing as total household control.

GA seen to and successfully moved and settled in. Her laundry done and drying. (at hers)
Result! Contractors blinked first and someone‘s coming back out Monday to ‘take a look’ and we go from there.
Lot’s of seedlings that are now small plants, off kitchen window sill and into greenhouse.
One cupboard emptied and disassembled ready to go to storage. One sack that I can’t lift, ready to be disposed of when I have help tomorrow.
Everything in hall pulled out of it, and floor cleaned. Hall floor sanded down then painted, and will hopefully have dried by tomorrow.
About to go do pet run, and tomorrow I’m going to try and have a bit of a lie in!

Elle, I think you are doing far better than any contractor!! "Floor sanded and painted" wow!! And the gardening, glad the greenhouse didn't get in the path of the falling branches.
I've crawled into a hot bath every night these past weeks of garden slog but I do, miraculously, think my back is getting stronger, certainly my upper arms are. Still not good at getting up off ground though, if I go too low I tend to keel over.
The TV man is still not arriving till tomorrow.

Elle you are achieving a lot! Sanding and painting is very impressive.

The gardening sounds nice, hard work but hopefully rewarding.

Paperwork can pile up then it looks intimidating! Well done for tackling it.

I'm trying to train myself to put things away instead of just moving things out the way.

I've put in an hour and a half this morning of tidying an area of the living room. It had become really dusty, and a mess of toys and books. Grubby marks on walls and the floor. A big bag filled with rubbish. I had recently bought a rug for that area so I just needed to get it organized.

It feels good to have got it done. I have to try to ignore the feelings of being overwhelmed by all the other areas that need doing.

Down you have put your finger on what the issue is for me...anxiety about the things I haven't done, stopping me doing the things I could do easily.

Well, Ive pulled all the furniture out of the way for TV repair Man(aerial issues and wiring from front door) and now there is mess everywhere...carpets piled in kitchen, chairs. I could take out the rubbish though nothing to stop me putting a wash on either or folding sheets in hotpress, but I tend to get stymied when I'm waiting for something to "happen".
First I need to get dressed and buy coffee tho!!
My plan for today is
Sheets fold
Sort out boxroom paperwork, just a few loose things, most things already filed
Compost
Rubbish in bin liner
Excavate dustbin (deadleaves at bottom)
Clear path of branch clippings for TV man if he uses side access.

Thank you for the welcome

Gosh I am so lazy

When I said I feel I am constantly cleaning the kitchen worktop, I didn't mean clearing clutter off it. I just mean clearing up after food prep. It is just one of several jobs that needs doing several times and it struck me how dull it is, as I was doing that task.

TOMM actually freaked me out a bit, made me feel as if there's more housework to do than I had before! I've got one colleague who has 12 full bed sets. She has a house though, with lots of storage. She said the bed linen thing is just she can get through a few months without doing the biggest laundry job.

Clutter - haven't really got any, don't have the space to store it.

I tried to make a start today by leaving bathroom cleaning foam on the sink to do it's thing while I was in the shower.

Yesterday, I was rubbish, got back from work, got changed, work clothes straight on to chair in a heap.

I suppose a lot of this is learning what works for me. Coming in after work is just flop time and the idea of getting up early to do housework fills me with dread. So I think the goals for the week are learning to pick up after myself and having a dedicated 20 mins after dinner to just whizz round and do things like put clothes back in the wardrobe, which is a small extra task on top of the washing up.

TV signal fixed!! And electrical socket now freed up which was blocked by old wiring of TV aerial along skirting.
Ostara don't tell yourself you are lazy. That is first rule of our thread! We all have different reasons to find tidying difficult but it isn't laziness...nor will self recrimination that will help us!!

On that note I'm immensely pleased with myself for getting back to the basics...like having a telly that works.

Also managed to get to shop for a coffee .I was drinking too much so expensive as it is in trying to have a takeaway coffee for five days in a row, first thing combined with walk, and then having reset the habit to once a day, buy some instant.

I'm trying to

Now for the dustbin, whilst I'm wearing gardening clothes..

Nettle that's lots of stuff!

"Ostara don't tell yourself you are lazy. That is first rule of our thread!"

I might be in the wrong place, I was hoping for a kick up the bum? I'm not aiming for any unrealistic goals, but definitely a kick is needed. I'm still in bed on the computer!

I think it is encouragement rather than any particular goals. I may be wrong

I've emptied dustbin, moved a bit more debris into giant compost area. The next bed to be excavated is catching my eye, covered in weeds but they are weakened by being under some old lino for two weeks. Sun has come out.