Fledglings Flying Frightfully into October

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A huge thanks to Mogthesleepycat for steering us successfully through September

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of support and chatter along the way.

The FlyLady link is here Flylady. Don't be put off by the twee language of the site – we all agree that the underlying system is very effective.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework - which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead.

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around again next month.

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be swamped with marketing nonsense. All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps
• repeat baby steps + do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone
• reinforce baby steps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.
• And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.

There are three key points to keep in mind throughout:

• No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine and many of us on this thread struggle with this one.
• You are never behind - just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
• It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the baby steps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names) can have scary looking ‘ta-da’ lists but don't let that worry you. Do what you can, anything is better than nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a brew + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders.

Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings Launchpad.

Don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey, we really aren’t. Some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome.

SingToTheSky put together a glossary of the many weird and might-seem-a-bit-cliquey terms. We have been going a long time but we always love newbies - hopefully this list will help you settle in.

KCC - the Keep Calm Corner, invented by our lovely Fledgling SC back in March, where the OP posts nice diverting links, memes, questions etc to distract us from the pandemic.

Ta Da - instead of a to do list (which is of course welcome too) we often post our achievements, with accompanying jazz hands, in order to celebrate the positives, however small they seem! Sometimes if we want to share an embarrassed giggle/commiserations we also post a ta didn’t - the stuff we didn’t get done!

BRC - Bag/Box of Random Crap. These are usually formed when we are panic tidying and shove anything in “to sort later” which is also known as a stash and dash .

Power of Three or PO3 - the idea that if you’re feeling really unmotivated/overwhelmed by your to do list, you just choose three things to do, and then post when you’ve done them.

DLMS - didn’t lose my shit - in other words, somehow stayed relatively calm despite a stressful day!

SS/S&S - Swish and Swipe - this is one of the key parts of the morning routine, a quick once over of the bathroom.

Home Bleugh - Flylady's Home Blessing routine

And a few basics:
LOL - load of laundry
WM - washing machine
TD - tumble dryer
DW - dishwasher
HSL - hallway, stairs, landing

And finally "The Naughty Corner" - this is for Fledglings who perhaps didn't get done what they had planned for the day but are in need of a comfy seat, pile of cushions, tasty snacks, stiff drink and friends to chat to.

🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁 Morning all 🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁

Bower sorry things are still tough for you

Ty for the good wishes re the job. I feel i should try and be less negative about it. Nothing bad has happened now but i think i am still deeply pissed off at shit treatment before my maternity leave.

Managed to start one uni module yesterday. Also found another student who is doing same two modules as me so thats nice

Our dc watched Onward last night!

Morning all, I have survived the night unclawed, here is a picture of Dcat looking a bit more chilled

Glad you survived ed cat is a lovely colour!

Grr, just lost a long post.

Wellies - wow to month long menu planning!

Bower I'm not surprised you are finding things so hard, you have had the work thing hanging over you for so long and it has clearly been very traumatic. Not to mention Covid, family worries etc. Hope you get to see the GP.

Stressy - welcome back!

Apumpkin - we have a Victorian terrace too and love it, although it is a bit poky and no room to extend.

Tada!

Click and collect shopping fetched in the pouring rain and nearly all put away
1 x LOL done and in dryer
Breakfast eaten.

Saturday is Family Fun day with Flylady.

Here is today's Flightplan

Babystep is to explore the Flylady website - do not be tempted to sign up for the emails!

Thanks some sound advice Welliesand ED I feel a lot better this morning maybe I just had to pour out to a very lovely friend. She knows the other person and thought what she had said in a meeting very unprofessional. It was I am still reeling from what she said considering it was a supposed to be getting back to work meeting. I sat there thinking I can’t work for you...you are an absolute bitch especially considering my Fit not says suffering from acute reaction to stress. I have done the right thing it just really hurts that I can’t have a normal retirement. Others had similar stress and left last year. One of them is just shaking her head at my treatment as we worked together a lot real team work as I often took over her class when she was needed for building needs( governor) and she tells me there is life after. I think the anxiety of Covid hasn’t helped. GP is great. He is very upset for me. I have seen him more than usual for someone as he is trained in acupuncture. So was seeing him every fortnight from September to Feb he picked up that I had lost my confidence and that was the last visit. He seemed upset for me. He also thought it was ridiculous.

I am going to try and sort out another room as I feel pleased when I walk into kitchen. Sitting room just needs a couple of things removed. So dining room and downstairs hall today.

Love the cat photos. She looked so mean in the carrier. Glad her mood has improved. I miss DDs cat. We won’t get one though as we’ve had bad luck with cats. DD had a tortie just like ED’s

DH would only get a cat carrier as far as my head. The image is hilarious.

Hi Stressy. I think that should be my name at the moment 😬

DS 1 &3 live in Victorian terrace houses and we live in a Victorian stone semi cottage. Ours has no features other than the sash windows with little panes. We had the original windows when we moved in but had to replace them a few years ago. We had them made like for like. The kitchen window was different as it was an extension in late Victorian times but the joiner made it look similar. We are getting a stable door
(whenever) with the same small windows.

Forgot we have an inglenook where the Range must have been and we have a multi fuel stove.

Bower huge hugs - it IS incredibly unfair that your retirement has been spoilt by this, so take your time being angry, bereft, resentful, all the feelings. Can’t add to what others have wisely said TBH so just 💐🍰🍷☕️ ❤️

That sorry about work too :( meant to say also if you ever need a hand with the maths stuff give me a shout.

I have a long to do list this weekend, and I’m starting with sorting the HUGE amount of clean laundry on the bed, while the others watch football. Annoyingly I can’t watch anything as my charger broke so I’ll try my audiobook instead, it’s a funny one (Miranda Hart) and doesn’t require concentration hopefully!

Oh and yes it was me asking about Onward, thank you! Still haven’t signed up to Disney+ but I am feeling the need to be cheered up with some nostalgia :o I know all the old Winnie the Pooh episodes I loved are on there.

I love Miranda Hart.

Thanks Sing I just feel really 😔 about it. Yes, your right it is partly about my retirement if the other Head had been there I would have had a lovely send off. I do miss the children though, two were 🥾out a while ago, after I had worked hard and got them to a good place where they could spend some of the time in class. I still see them occasionally bumping into them and get a big hug. Saw one just before lockdown in the city by himself ...he’s 8! He shouted and flew off his bike gave me a huge hug. Then before we parted he hugged me and didn’t want to let go it was such a desperate squeezing hug. Ah well.

Lots to do today in the hazel household. We have ILs coming over tonight for a birthday dinner, although FIL is coming said dinner, I'm making the dessert. Going to make key lime pie and keto lemon blueberry loaf per MIL request. She doesn't know I'm making both though. BIL & DC are coming over too so we'll have a house full. Thank goodness we don't have any limitations on get-togethers anymore.

To do:
🕸 LOLs
🕸 Tidy kitchen
🕸 Wipe kitchen countertops
🕸 Grocery shopping/ pick up
🕸 Bake key lime pie
🕸 Bake lemon blueberry loaf
🕸 Figure out what everyone is drinking
🕸 Help DS sort his room out so his little cousins don't break or swallow anything
🕸 Wrap MILs present

I also need to make time to Skype mum today, most likely this morning (for me) as it's my late dad's birthday today. These milestones seem to be getting easier every year, but I do know we could still have a meltdown or two.

👻👋 to everyone today, sorry for no personals, but I have quite the list to do.

bower it speaks volumes others have left.when zoolets primary was threatened with being an academy over half staff ended up leaving...
Sing I too keep meaning sign up for Disney+
Thathope the break over weekend isn't just spent play catch up with house,studies etc
Up thanks
MC you do know we love expect snaffly newborn pics here

So whilst I've been wallowing in my own crapulence D's has"officially" got ASD diagnosis.few days pathetic "grieving" for the life i expected Vs reality of where we are at.at end of the day I cannot make him engage and if we move forward with certain behaviours is to some degree a choice on his part.i just have to accept that I guess and be grateful whilst he struggles so badly with anxiety and social situations of all kinds he is a very loving funny boy and that won't ever be defined by a label

School work has begunand he has afew online live classes a week.mostly by himself as other Sen kids aren't engaging,he shares ks3maths and ks4 science one other kid that takes him to the edge because of constant talking.we have had multiple conversations about this.mainstream is too big and busy but students comply by certain behaviours expected of them.sen offers more nurture but more low level disruption and he's go have get used to that.for him it's Not Going Well.i accept it's going to take time!schools in progress sending some work on paper weekly too

Dd2 has reacted propranolol very badly and we had few hairy days with blue fingertips and chest pain /breathlessness as we try work out wtf was going on.now unmedicated and still on urgent wait list for camhs medic(8 weeks and counting)she rotates from tears,meltdowns,panic attacks and yelling at me.rinse and repeat.its exhausting for us all

Lil zoo has completely flipped over too.ibs and migraine ravaged she's not been to school in near a week,and doesn't want to anymore...I've contacted school explaining how overwhelmed social side and can't get head round the way schools run Vs 6months "covid safe" behaviours ram down throat on TV/Spotify etc.im asking if she might go just mornings and access some pastoral care.waiting for email back..

On flying front I've been chip away at things

After meltdown and bowed off sept thread I had 24hrs of tears then drag self up by scruff of neck and made list what I can /could change.my environment is one

Kitchen-oven fixed means we are now juggling robbing Peter to pay Paul but we can cook food everyone will eat again

3/4 cupboards have been ruthlessly empty,wipe and resorted

All surfaces cleared,wiped and only necessary returned

Living rooms in progress of similar treatment,working my way around removing anything that has no purpose or love

And on the me front I've been stealing ideas from dd2/D's.we have sensory diet worksheet and I realise I'm strongly led by texture and smell so self soothing with soft tops and jumpers, bought a gingerbread candle and am try incorporate certain smells into my dayand particular self care habits that build on my sensory needs.might seem but weird,but helps
Also learnt it's ok not complete a list and listen to my body.if I need to stop that's ok.theres just one of me and I cannot manage the needs of others if I'm so burned out I can't even manage myself

Anyway enough my waffling essay.tada coming up!

Tada
Cats fed
Wash on
Harpic lav
Pop morrisons(645.45 mum walk each way)
Wipe and put away shop
Wash in drier
Breakfast
More wash in
Pop petshop for cat shampoo
Wrestle scoutcat into bath and wash him
DD pour water over him and rinse,I hold firmly and lather
Dry scoutcat/get shook all over
Open him can tuna and lots petting
Pop in box with fresh old jumper in by tumble drier
Chip away at 3bags random crap
Empty drier
Fold wash and put away
Make lunch
Wash in drier
More on
Wash up
Clean bath
Littertray and bins
Fold dry washing and put away

Off to help dd2 tackle her bedroomas mess adding her distress and she just gets overwhelmed by state of it when tries decide where to start try sort it out

Bower I join in with others in their sentiments. What a tough time you are going through. Lots of hugs your way 💐
Wellies a meal plan for a whole month! Wow. That's impressive stuff. I feel victorious if I manage a week.
Zoo so glad to see you back here. Oh yes, there will be pictures once the beastie makes an appearance!
And yes, definitely hit the brakes and take pause when you feel things are getting too much. You have so much on your plate, and you can't help others if you are falling to pieces yourself 😘 schedule compulsory 'you time' on your to do list?

I am getting my hair coloured right now, hopefully will get to the shade of blonde I want after this visit.

No major housework for me today, but a small ta da does exist:
🎉Morning routine
🎉Made pancakes for breakfast

Have a fabulous weekend, everyone!

Bower I hope things settle down for you soon and you feel better. Sometimes taking the tough decisions helps as it's not hanging over you all the time if only I did this myself and you can get on with coming to terms with it.

Done a bit of tidying today, in the main room. Recycled old mags/paperwork/receipts etc. Need to do some more work in the kitchen but DH keeps filling the washing up bowl with stuff and not doing it - I hate having to clean the bowl out to start washing up!

Good night on the TV for DD tonight (hit list music quiz/little mix/strictly) so will be able to get her McD takeaway and myself a toffee latte and she'll be settled for the night!

Flap on fledglings (and I still wouldn't trust the cat tbh, just waiting for your guard to drop ...)

I follow loads on instagram,just read this and felt it warranted a share..

This house has been a place of safety and security in lockdown.a playground when they were taped off,a library,imagination station when museums closed,school when academia was uncertain,dressing room when kids discovered their own sense of style without constraints of uniform,a restaurant not just 3x a day but for picnics and baking and the comfort of things homemade.
The floors have seen forgiveness and grace when we can't escape each other
The walls gave us security
This HOME is not a mess or disaster,it's a gift

Also I survived
I have 3 BINBAGS of washing,and a full load of underwear and socks now merrily going round in wash machine...
Having found floor she's in charge sorting desk and shelves!

Amen to that Instagram post zoo

Not sure how much forgiveness and grace these floors have seen 😁

There's a fair few ASD kids between us all zoo, although in my case I worked with ASD Uni students. I guess we're all appreciators of diversity and clean homes

It isn’t pathetic ‘grieving‘ at all Zoo you e had a really tough time. I know your DS has a lot of struggles but he sounds like such a lovely boy. Well done on managing to take care of yourself a bit in amongst everything, and for your epic ta da list. I love the Instagram post!

Wellies a month meal plan Hopefully the smell of soup has been removed, but my cosmetic bag of handy bits didn’t survive.

Hazel hope the to do list is going ok. I am very jealous of your family get together. We are back in not-allowed-to-mix-with-anyone lockdown and I’m finding it harder this time round. It’s DGM’s 93rd birthday today and only my DM had been able to see her as they are in a ‘bubble’. I did drop her birthday present off yesterday and we had a nice phonecall today. I have so many plans for various events with family and friends next year when we can hopefully get regain a bit of normality.

The rain has any let up at all here today. The road at the end of the street is virtually flooded. We’ve had the laziest day in ages. I’ve stayed in pjs, DD has run round starkers and DH pulled his joggers on at 4pm for a chocolate run. We’ve watched lots of Disney, played hide and seek and had the ply doh out. We have managed to keep on top of tidyness and dishes. I did an LOL and s&s, and completed our summer photobook. Comforting sausage and mash for tea. It’s been a well needed recharge. Planning on being more productive tomorrow.

👻 👋 to all fledglings. Hope you’ve enjoyed your Saturdays. Bath and a glass of gin for me now.

Thanks MC, Zoo,Chiller, Hazel if times had been normal I would have gone on holiday but I can’t go to Australia or New Zealand like I had planned( cos they are not letting anyone in) and I wouldn’t want to because I think part of the problem is that aeroplane air mixing around.
I can’t go and stay with either of my sisters in Scotland. This would have helped. My friend invited us to go to a hotel in Northumbria but now it in lockdown so we can’t go. I wasn’t sure about going to be honest. We are going for lunch in a cafe/ bar where hardly anyone goes as it has just opened for her birthday.

I told you I was losing the plot.

I came back from DS2’s house. I got some mince out of the freezer, noticed the shed floor was wet behind the door, moved a few bags including a small bag of compost. I brought the compost in and left the mince on top of the freezer. Came in then realised what I had done🤯
Don’t think DH would like compost loaf for dinner tomorrow. With such discussions of meat loaf last month I decided I would make one. I love it DH not so keen but it is so long he might of forgotten that he doesn’t much like it. Shhhh! Don’t tell. Was there a recipe? Was it yours wellies

I am just watching Our Yorkshire Farm. I love that programme. I have read two of Amanda’s books which were great. As we aren’t far from North Yorkshire we go a good few times a year and we know where their farm is. It is quite remote and we were up that way a couple of years ago and still snow up top in April. I got out and took some photos of the amazing sunset with snow on the moor.I love Yorkshire. I wanted to live there when we came down from Scotland but DH wasn’t having it. He does like going for a day or two though. He especially loves Hawes. I love Askrigg, Kettlewell, Reeth, Richmond and a few others. I used to love taking the kids on the North York Moors Railway and the coast especially Robin Hoods Bay and Whitby. If you haven’t been there do try sometime.