Fledglings step their way through June; yikes we'll be Flying in to summer soon!

[Singingcricket]

Welcome to the thread where we (loosely) follow the Flylady housekeeping system here to combat CHAOS (can't have anyone over syndrome) with a load of , chat and mutual support along the way. Quite a few of us have been on here for a while, so for that reason, we may seem cliquey, but we really aren't, and all newcomers, lurkers, returnees, regulars, and intermittent regulars are very welcome!

Every day I will post a link to the activities for "Today" which summarises everything you need on a daily basis if you want to follow the system strictly, but we tend to adapt it to suit our individual circumstances, homes and energy-levels!

Please note that, although Flylady is keen for us to check in to the website, we've recently had a few concerns wrt security, so although there is lots of useful info on the site, it's best not download it or put any of your personal details into the website for now.

More information on getting started available:
here (containing baby-steps!) but please don't hesitate to ask if you have any further qs.

There are 4 levels for Flying:
-Baby steps - good for starting a routine and overcoming the perfection crippling effect
-Baby steps and missions - basic routine + more in depth tasks
-Baby steps, missions, and deep cleaning (if you are at that stage).
You can't clean clutter so don't consider this one if you need the next level.
-Flying combined with a decluttering system (kondo/unfuck etc etc) let's be honest fly lady is good for routine but not so quick with the decluttering results sometimes.

There is NO wrong or right way of doing this, it is about adapting the system to suit your life circumstances, which will be different from someone else's, and don't be put off by the barftastically twee nature of the Flylady site, the underlying system is sound. Feel free to ignore any step or routine that doesn't suit you or your home! No perfectionism allowed!

And when it all gets too much: come and take a seat by the fire in our specially adapted "naughty" corner where you can enjoy virtual and and lots of support from fellow fledglings.

More info follows ( but again, please note we advise only looking at the pdfs and not downloading them ):

** launch pad (general info) here

** daily babysteps pdf (ignore the ones that don't suit you or your home) here

** week day missions (some fledglings find it easier to do them at weekends) here

** info about zones (explanation of how zones work) [[http://www.flylady.net/d/br/2017/06/11/please-explain-the-zones-6/
here]]

** weekly zones (a rough weekly guide to which area of the house we are tackling currently, again adapt to suit yourself) here

** daily focus (helpful guide to allocate a certain day for a certain task) here

** deep cleaning lists pdf (only attempt when you have decluttered as you can't clean clutter!) here

Oh and not forgetting "habit of the month" which for June is : drinking water!

Good luck and happy Flying one and all!

*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stupid fucking man child is pissing me off!

No flying done today. Out at football matches and then mooching around house. Had a highly nutritious dinner of Nutella and peanut butter on toast as we've not much food in house.

Rained heavily here today in the afternoon.

🌼 Launch pad link containing flight plan for Sunday. Best to refer to it and not download.

🌼 We will be starting in Zone 3 tomorrow (June 9 - 15) bathroom plus one other room.

Very of you being able to sit in your lovely garden house Bower with the rain pouring down outside! Sounds lovely! for ruthless paper decluttering!

Hope the day got less boring Foxes!

Sorry your dh is in such pain Cag

Enjoy your weekend away Toostressy!

Hope you get a reasonable night's sleeve I've and Zoo

No Flying here either Lisette!

Spent the morning trying to explain the intricacies of Trooping the Colour to dd's godfather (who isnt British) who arrived to spend the night here as passing through for an afternoon seminar. Spent the afternoon cooking a very casual supper for all of us plus a friend of dd's who is sleeping over too. Nowt else! G'night all!

Your dd sounds wonderfulzoo

It was fine in the end sc , we managed to get out in the garden for a bit and then got fish and chips for dinner.

Just found a bag that can only be describe as crusty undergarments squirreled away by lil zoo-deffo not changed anywhere near daily FFS.shes 11 not 3.theu are beyond even a soaking in NAPISAN-more expense as we have 4pairs that are in any way able to be reused
AND loads stuff under the bed again...I am ready to kill her as she's now in a mood for being told off
Dd2 ranting about how much needs get done in so little time as dd1 was here most day yesterday and she wanted spend as much time with her as possible

I am on my last nerve already,in foul mood and will to live is at about 2%

Tada
One load in drier
Next load on
Spent 20 minutes try find dining table then scrub at dried in cornflakes and a very resistant patch of pink glue like substance which turns out is lil zoo reflux meds
Not completely cleared but I now have sticky/suspect patches of detritus tackled I can move forward removing everything and deciding if I can find it another home....

And of course fed cats/zoolets blah blah blah

Ugggh lilzoo 😡 if they aren’t buried in the bin already zoo tbh I’d keep them, wash them so they are clean but if they’re stained or whatever, tough luck maybe it’ll embarrass her into better hygeine 🙈 your DD1 sounds totally epic ❤️

I know you’re worried about medication, I am assuming it’s sertraline or a similar SSRI they are recommending? Which I know carries risks of things getting worse at the start. However have they mentioned beta blockers at all? I wonder if that may be better, as it seems to be the more physical side of anxiety that he suffers with, and that type of medication doesn’t affect the brain in the same way at all. I have the option of taking it (propranolol) regularly or just when panic sets in and it basically slows my heart rate down again and stops that awful painful fluttery chest feeling. The only side effect I get is sometimes I am very sleepy after but I’m not actually sure if that’s more of a comedown mentally anyway if I’ve been panicking. Apologies if preaching to the choir just thought I would mention it as I don’t think ADs would be appropriate for him. I hate how they just want to put people on them without really looking at whether they’ll truly help.

I’m not up yet, had major MH crash myself last night sobbing on DH at gone midnight. Then realised it is probably because I’ve drastically cut Cagletini’s feeds down. She was driving me nuts so it was (for the sake of my MH, ironically) cut down or end up stopping altogether which I don’t want to do yet. So we’ve switched to specific feed times. It’s working as she is asking less and seems to be sleeping better, but the drop in oxytocin seems to have had a terrifying affect on me!

At least I know why though, I can ride it out now but it was pretty scary yesterday, I was not a nice person to be around at all, argued with DH (although a useful discussion), clashed with DD1 all day.

Sorry enough scary talk. On with the day, if I can be arsed to get up. Loads to do really, need to tidy and especially get the Caglets to do their rooms ready for friends visiting tomorrow, I would like to go to the gym I think because it will work some stress out.

Keep going zoo, sounds as if you are getting loads done with the cleaning. At least you have a reason for feeling shitty I guess Cag .

Still at in-laws so no flying in the house will get done. Might try to get some digital clutter, emails etc. dealt with if I have time.

Thanks for links SC and hello to everyone.

stressy thanks for encouragement!
Cag he's on waiting list to see camhs medic about propranolol(or similar) fuck knows how long the waiting list is though!!both dp and I were given it in teens for our anxiety issues/panic attacks as SSRI wasn't available then,just old school valium type drugs...we both found got dizzy if stood up too quick etc but other than that they were very helpful

Tada
Got in few bits from shops- dd2 ruler cracked then snap so had locate a cheap new one as was stressing needed it for exams
Picked up rooting powder to attempt take lavender cuttings from an old bush in garden that's too woody to keep long-term so thought D's and I could try propagating some new and potentially plucking local rosemary bush as it's his favourite comfort smell

Ah yes I have to keep an eye on blood pressure as mine is low anyway.

I’m not even dressed yet, all I’ve achieved so far is nit checking DS! (Nothing thankfully but it’s DD1 who is itchy)

Oh good luck with that cag lil zoo was nightmare at old school.think some parents gave up trying rid the infestations and rest of us were fighting the inevitable
Tada
3 BRC sorted and thrown away/rehomed to proper locations
Lunch
I now move into ottoman corner which has games stacked in front of it,four BRC against that and various items added to the precariously stacked pile!!

FFS well spent aaaages on DD1 and yep a few adults plus eggs/babies. Not a full on infestation but I think it would be if we’d left it another few days.

It is so frustrating, you think you’ll be free of them when the kids don’t even go to school! But there is one family who are perfectly aware their kids have them and just never bother treating properly, their DD prides herself on her uber long hair but we know the truth 🙄 I try to be vigilant about hair up etc and we are usually ok using Vosene shampoo and spray but sometimes we forget and that’s when it happens. I finally told DD who it is today because she was upset at having them and now she will know why I nag about her keeping her hair tied up etc. She knows not to say anything, it’s not the kids’ fault but the parents’. 😡😡😡

And we’ve lost several hours to this today, I’ve not even had mine checked yet

I class it as neglect tbh not bothering.surely it's beyond distracting being perpetually infested,plus if it's bad enough could the child become aneamic??🤔
Not to mention harming their self esteem as others realise where they get it from and avoid them/say something

All so unnecessary...

Tada
Another BRC sorted
Ottoman top located and wiped,loads still to do but I needed get upstairs and clear lil zoo craphole mess out as black bin day tomorrow
Cleared top chest of drawers
*approx carrier bag dumped clean washing that was at one time folded,and had be asked repeatedly put away now folded by me and put away
*2 dog eared notebook/endless bits scrap paper binned into recycling as clearly not wanted just abandoned
*6empty drink cartons into recycling,along wiped up sticky spills.
*One rant over not taking drinks upstairs(except water,which she refuses to drink)
*Sorted thru pile discarded clothes.mostly dd2 that grown out of(added to chazza bag I forgot to put out last week) couple items put in my room as she could slim back down into
Few items of lil zoo she insists fit(including shorts she sleeps in that ride so far up her bum we tag them stripper shorts as so revealing)which don't removed to chazza bag.couple much loved giraffe tops that outgrown put aside
Found pile my washing that I have been hunting for.clearly i folded a load from dryer and ask her put on my bed and were dumped in her room as wasn't listening
Turned around to see pile books scattered everywhere.i lost my shitand "it's not my fault" whine began I reminded her as they were dd2 books she had she's for chazza bag,leaving them on chest if drawers and she(lil zoo) was last seen reading one instead going to sleep how exactly could anyone else be responsible?cue door slamming and storm to bathroom
As dd2 currently making revision cards for history in there and I had strong urge to see blood shed I escaped muttering about state of this place and don't know why I bother etc.as past bathroom lilzoo crying perch on side of bath

I hate hormonal girls

Now I've released my frustration I guess I should get back in there and go again

It is a safeguarding flag apparently. But they have SS involvement at their request for other reasons and they don’t do anything anyway.

Thankfully none on DH and the biggest relief, only one on me (DD and I have quite thick hair). Also took the opportunity to give DD’s hair a trim :o

Need to check the baby after her bath later. She doesn’t like hair washing but she always wants us to do other things on her eg nail clipping and recently putting cream on DD1’s ears, she’s so funny! So I am interested to see how she handles a comb :o

I really wanted to go to the gym today but with Sunday transport it’s not happening now. Have stripped the beds which was long overdue anyway and the Caglets are tidying their rooms for tomorrow. Bathrooms need cleaning but I’ll do that in the morning, they are coming after lunch

I could KILL lil zoo
I found- D's beloved(gift) harry potter so is ruined under her bed
A used pantiliner under there stuck to an initial light that belonged to dd2(who cried and said bin it now)
Very expensive art pens without lids/not put away/ruined
Mouldy soft toys mix clean washing
Broken drawers after I'd fixed and warm her not slam etc
Books in cat sick(as under bed where she knows cats tend hide and retch and NOTHING is ment to be under there),kicked around so not just one but multiple are ruined

I have yelled z lot grabbed last two BINBAGS and gather up everything duscarde/ruined and launched it.hax I had more bags everything bar clothes would be in it I am beyond livid
She KNOWS we aren't made of money and has not only no regards her own things but completely ruined things of others(there were more things of dd2 that have bit dust as now torn beyond repair,mouldy etc)
I am also angry at DP as he has given them the attitude I will buy you a new one(and do silly overtime to pay for it)
We I may be ott but as of now she has nothing and has start from beginning,with a pencil and paper and build up if can show me she can look after things properly or will end up with nothing at all

I have completely lost my shite.lobbed a

I think that's entirely understandable zoo. You seem at the end of your tether.

I'll leave iced donuts in the naughty corner.

Cag We haven't had nits (yet). We have had scabies though - the great infestation of 2011. Grim.

Bless you zoo it is completely unacceptable i agree. How long has it taken to get that bad? I am strict re the oldest two (11 & 10) and bedrooms.

Every day they must ....

• Bring all dirty washing down
• Put any clean washing away
• Tidy room

At weekend one as well as the usual they strip beds one day and hoover the other

If they dont do these things there is no screen time. If they lie about doing these things i confiscate devices.

No food or drink inc sweets and gum is allowed in the bedrooms

I find them keeping on top of it daily helps and tbh i probably deep clean WITH them once a year

I need to instil that kind of routine for sure ive

Back to basics sounds like a good plan zoo

That's kinda routine I need I've
Under bed broken/wrecked things occured in just under two weeks,the rest in less than four
She holes up in room with door shut and I have just let her be.clearly I shouldn't have but I assumed at 11 was more responsible

With attitude of I don't care you launch my stuff mo remorse or apologies for others lost/ruined things i went ahead in my rage and dumped all her art stuffall books are gone as discovered two more wrecked books of dd1 and one of D's
All she has in there are clothes,CD player she's not allowed use as broke 1dd2 CDs and scratch another beyond use and my lil pony stuff she never plays with and I will give chazza shop
As of now she's only allowed watch TV downstairs.at bedtime no books no nothing.if touches anyone's stuff there will be consequences.in a week she can have a book from a chazza or cheap notebook and a pencil and if she don't take care her space/be respectful of her things it's taken away again and another week passes.if after month she's on it and keeps it nice she can add little cheap bits- cheap pencils,pens etc.ive no idea if I've done right thing.dp will probably blow a fuse I've binned it all but I was very very angry and she hasn't taken care of it,wrecked others things and just sitting looking at me now like she's expecting me to behave like nothings happened...

Dp needs to take your side or stay out of it. Ideally back you up.

Think i initially became so strict with dc1 and 2 because they are boys and i have no intention at all of raising any man child!

Even my two year old puts his washing at the washing machine and will help puts sock or tea towels in drawers.

I would write her some rules to follow. Stick them where she can see them daily so no excuse.

I would also be taking money from her pocket money / birthday / xmas to replace atleast some of the items she destroyed belonging to the others

Yes definitely if she gets any pocket money or birthday money she should replace their books

Ugh really REALLY need to prep home ed stuff for tomorrow/the whole week but aaaargh

This also requires sorting the printer which is “offline” (it bloody ISN’T 😭😡) and I am procrastinating big time

Oh zoo I don't blame you for being livid and i would have been the same I think and assumed she would be more responsible than that, I guess like the others have said you have to go back to basics! Gah, kids!!!

I've sounds great your routine and totally understand your view on not raising man child's!!

Dd has really started playing In her room more and she makes a huge mess in there, I want her to enjoy her space and not have me nagging at her when she's playing but I do think a tidy up at the end of each day isn't unreasonable. And I'm definitely going to start getting her to put her own clothes away that's a good idea ive. She does fold her clothes if she is wearing them again and she puts dirty stuff in the wash. But that's all we've covered so far! 😂 And as for ds...I don't know what he does that's useful at the moment but he's so entertaining I think I'll keep him tbf he does know where the washing basket is so that's a start