#4 - Hoarding, Sorting, Organising, Friendship, Understanding. All On One Thread.

[Solo]

Are you a hoarder? Are you in a mess, untidy, disorganised? A bit lazy with housework? Are you are ill and not coping with the housework? Are you totally overwhelmed? Are you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason and can't let them go? Are you unable to just ask someone in for a cuppa at a moments notice or do dread the meter reader asking for access?
Do you find yourself nodding whilst reading any of this? If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please come and join us. There is no judging. We have something in common here and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small. We cheer one another along and drag the drowners from the depths of despair.

Join us; we don't bite! Welcome to thread number 4.

I've lived under mountains of crap for years. Not mine, my OH's. He cannot let anything go.

Defunct tech is a thing - obsolete things like video players, film cameras, analogue TV sets from 30 years ago, mini disc stuff, video cameras, digital cameras, palm top personal organisers, film editing and projecting kit, reel to reel tape players, etc - anything we now do with our phones. But still the kit stays.

Things that don't work - we have literally a stack of 8 kackered dvd players/hard drive recorders under the TV table gathering dust duvets.

Boxes and piles of media we don't watch/listen to - 45, 33, 78 records, cassettes, CDs, videos, dvds, 8mm film, colour slides, photos - again, we watch, listen & create on phones & computers now.

And packaging - every laptop, every camera etc came in a box. With polystyrene. And the boxes are … still here.

It's like tech Time Team here - open a box and decades and strata of obsolete media stuff stares back.

It's not only the piles, the dust and the overwhelm it's also the guilt - all those memories locked up in that unprepossessing tech. Family, youth, people now gone, achievements and experiences, things we loved back in the day. But not part of our lives today.

And the cost. How much money is represented by all that stuff. I know about the sunk cost fallacy but I still resent it.

I would like to hire a skip.

:( Woman you have almost described me :(
"It's not only the piles, the dust and the overwhelm it's also the guilt - all those memories locked up in that unprepossessing tech. Family, youth, people now gone, achievements and experiences, things we loved back in the day. But not part of our lives today."

WomanBornNotWorn, you sound really sad about it all. I understand how you feel - is it only your partner who would struggle to get rid of some of these things?

Hello everyone and hugs to all who are feeling blue.
I've managed to sell a few bits on Facebook. Including a little storage unit that was in my bedroom with a load of oddments on top of it, which are now on the floor.
I've been hanging my washing out in the nice weather, and just tipping my clean clothes on the floor to use the basket for the next load.
A couple of my bed slats needed replacing so I had to pull out everything that was shoved under there (I did hoover the space so that's something).
I bought under bed storage boxes but haven't put anything in them yet.
I'm visiting relatives for a week, and had a frenzied packing session yesterday trying to find clothes amongst the chaos.
I have two huge wardrobes, each with two deep drawers underneath, a 4 + 2 chest of drawers, two 3 drawer bedside tables in my room, a chest of drawers in my spare room for linen, and a coat cupboard and shoe rack downstairs and yet I still can't get my clothes organised.
Everytime I go away and can't see it all I make life changing plans about sorting my whole house out, losing weight, getting fitter blah blah and I'm going to start as soon as I get home. But the journey always triggers a fibro flare up and then any motivation just disappears.

Hello, I'd like to join please. This is really difficult for me and I am hoping to get some support from this group.

I have had such a busy time work wise over the last few years and when I decided to go for my career, through lack of time and motivation, I gradually stopped running myself into the ground tidying and cleaning up after everyone else at home. Everything piled up.

One of the big things I let go of was arguing with my DH who either left a trail of things behind him, threw things out despite them being needed, or argued for ever about why he couldn't just tidy something up right there and then. I became miserable about it all and then detached.

Now I have begun to have more time. I have also become firmer with DH. He has finally begun to acknowledge his part of the problem and is beginning to make changes.I am beginning to feel more determined and am getting my motivation back.

However, there's just so much to do and I go around with a heavy heart before I can make a start. Sometimes I just don't know where to begin.

Today I want to do a bit organising the clothes and to do some tidying up and cleaning in the kitchen. I'm holding onto my hat and going to get started for an hour before having a break.

Hello Cherrytree, how lovely to read you. I know how hard it is to keep going when you're at the muddly part. I'm thinking about you as I go about my next hour and wishing you all the best with your own wishes.

Just having a break and realised how little I got done in an hour. Even so, the kitchen table is looking better and that's encouraging. I've just read Woman's post and I could really identify with the sadness that past tech stocks bring when I see them. And yes, the financial investment which was needed at the time and now seems like such a waste because it's obsolete. A very difficult part of our " progress " in society.
Back to another hour of clothing and kitchen organising. I'm listening to an interesting radio programme which is helping me.

Well done everyone for chipping away at things today 🙂.

I'm just back from a week away - we made a huge (for us 😄😳) effort before we went away, so our house looks relatively good. I really want to keep on top of it though, and to make some inroads into the piles o' stuff.

I'm also planning to put some things on eBay later.

Hi all. Mental health fucking horrific atm

But we decluttered a bit yesterday. DSD is still with us but has found a place and wanted some boxes for the move so we sorted some of ours (some hadn’t been touched since before the move last July). Really, really stressed me out, I was an anxious and angry mess.

However I’m glad it’s done as we can now reach DD2’s cotbed much more easily and there’s so much more floor space. Also went through the Caglets’ clothes with them and have put stuff aside for smaller friends, today I gathered rags (most of DS’ stuff has massive holes in the knees etc) and sorted the leftover small baby clothes for a friend. So definite progress this weekend.

Hi Nothing. That's great that you're able to benefit from tidying up before your hols. All the best with your eBay project.

Well done on your decluttering yesterday Laputa. And also for riding through the stress waves too.

"Riding through the stress waves" is going to be about my day today. I'm still working on our kitchen table. To be fair to myself, it is the only work space that we have in the kitchen and often, as fast as I clear it up , other things take the place of the removed objects as another job emerges. So, continuing the kitchen table today, means doing the cooking I've got planned and then clearing off a little bit more. It also means not being dissatisfied with myself when I stop because it won't be perfect. But it will be good progress.

Yesterday, I finished all the washing and ironing. I felt exhausted after all the hard work and I'm still tired today. I went back to read the start of this thread and felt really helped by Cherry's posts on squashing linen and clothing into overflowing drawers. This helped me to see why I haven't tried to put everything I worked on yesterday away. I'm going to have to sort through cupboards and drawers first - which I had absolutely not planned for - neither time wise nor emotionally.

So, I'm going to work for 2 hours and then I'll come back here to see if anyone's around or I'll read more upthread.

All the best to you all,

How is your day going Sortinghatton? I hope you're happy with what you've managed to get done.

I've done some washing and ironing so far - it feels a bit never ending though.

Hello there Nothing,
How lovely to hear from you. I am pleased with what I got done.Thanks.
I spent all of the time cooking so that for the days to come things should be easier on that front at least.
Then bottled fruit, made some jam and am now making clotted cream. The kitchen looks as it did this morning. And DH asked if I'm a witch. Felt so pleased that he's noticed my creative side that I admitted to it. And warned him to stay in my good books.

How about you Nothing ? Are you pleased with the washing and ironing pile ? I know how you feel about it being never-ending. That's how I felt yesterday. Finally I got through it and out the other side.

Going to start well earned evening meal. All the best to you. 😊

@Sortinghatton your cooking skills sound amazing! We have a ton of blackberries here (gathered on various walks) that I'm trying to think of something to do with. DP is on one of his various health whinges kicks and not eating wheat so crumble is out

I can relate to the piles of obsolete stuff lying around - not so much mine, I probably have a few old phones but tend to recycle anything that breaks, but DP's - it's like he keeps these things hoping/ expecting them to become useful again, or not wanting to acknowledge that they're no longer worth the £££ he spent on them! We had a mound of old videos in the loft till he finally relented and binned most of them; he's kept piles and piles of CDs though even though he never, ever plays them. Aaarrgghhhh.

The washing mountain has got out of control the minute I turned my back - fingers crossed for some nice weather this week and I can tackle it properly!

Hi everyone. Hope the week is progressing well. I’ve finally caught up with the thread!

I’m in flare up mode still - so frustrating, I know many here have similar conditions (I have fibro ME and PoTS). I feel mentally motivated to continue building on the decluttering we did over the weekend, but don’t have the energy to keep it up really. Trying to do some other gentler stuff when I can.

Tooooootally empathise with never ending laundry. It breeds I swear!

I’m really impressed by the making of jam and clotted cream!

I took ages to get rid of my CDs 😳 I have Spotify premium now though (I was given an amazing speaker for Christmas) and I wouldn’t change it for anything, I love being able to have playlists and not being confined to a particular album order etc.

I confess we do still have a few videos that aren’t available on DVD though. And currently no VHS player. 😳😳😳

Hi Laputa. I hope you're feeling a bit better today. I have found the mental and physical side of housework very tiring and even draining at times. I went out for a run yesterday and though it was tiring, it was a good rest for my mind. Seeing the trees, the views and the sky again did me the power of good. My kitchen is still waiting for me. And so that's today's job.

Hi Ruby. Thanks for the compliments on my cooking. I'm excited to be making friends with my kitchen again. I had checked out on the cooking for a few years and DH had to learn a few recipes during that time. But, now mamma's back to life, I'm seeing that in some messy times in my past I enjoyed it, got through it and had something good come out of it. That is what my cooking showed me.
I'm hoping to be able to take that with me as I get onto other chores too.
I hope you got on / are getting on ok with the clothe piles.

So today, I'm aiming to go for a run, clean and tidy more of the kitchen table, ave a look around in the freezer 👀

How's everyone getting on?

I've stalled somewhat, having gone back to work. I definitely need some motivation. eBay have sent me a max £1 fees offer, so I should list a few things on there this weekend.

Sortinghatton, tell me more about being a witch 🙂.

Stalled here too, I’m so tired and in pain. Zero motivation. DSD’s friend has done a 180 on her and backed out of moving in 😱🤬 so the move isn’t happening and she will be with us longer. Which is actually lovely (we all get on really well, she’s amazing with all her siblings and we have loads in common) other than having more stuff in the house! I’m thinking it will now be more worthwhile her taking the time to organise it fully if she’s here longer. Need to figure that out.

LivingInLaputa, oh no, that's a shame. I remember you saying you enjoyed her being around.

I need to hang out a wash, put on a wash, unload the dishwasher, and reload the dishwasher. Then I want to clear the dining table so that DS and I can do a jigsaw 🙂.

@NothingWithoutEffort I'm gutted about the selling fees offer, we sold a buggy for £450 last month to get some holiday spending money, but of course I was then hit with the bill when we returned

A shame for your DSD to be let down @LivingInLaputa but at least she's a help to have around the house..... there are loads of 'student storage' bits around at the moment, perhaps you could have a look at some of those?

Not much progress here and I don't think there will be any until the DC return to school after the 5000 week school holidays. I will be writing a cracking 'to do' list to work through from them; may even change my username in a spirit of fresh starts!

That's annoying re the eBay fees RubySlippers77. I don't find eBay's invoice very informative, but maybe I'm not looking at the right thing.

I've sorted lots of DS's toys that I'm going to give to a friend, including ones that I've struggled to pass on before. Thins aren't memories though 🙂, not really.

^things 😄

I found the invoice confusing too Nothing but they very quickly followed it up with a "Pay NOW!!" kind of email, kind of them to clarify it we were actually on holiday with no wifi and very little phone reception when the invoice came through so it was a couple of days before I even read it. £50 is a big chunk of my budget every month

I gave lots of my DTs' toys to a friend too, such a sad day! I've hung on to loads of their little clothes just in case we have another baby (which realistically isn't going to happen - but I couldn't face giving up on the idea forever!). Might get one of those memory blankets/ toys made from them when I eventually get round to sorting them out.

Tidied up the garden the other day and meant to finish it off today, plus start planting a few more things - but it was far too hot!

Nothing going on here in terms of clutter. Mess builds up so fast! Physical pain slightly better - managed a swim and steam again on Saturday - but mental health got horrifically bad yesterday and I ended up in hospital for the afternoon. I’m not so bad now (was treated very well and also found out the referral I’ve been chasing for months has finally gone through as urgent so I may finally get the right meds soon...) but I’m still in a bit of a daze and not really handling general housework stuff.

Oh @LivingInLaputa, really sorry to hear about your hospital visit. Well, I'm not sorry if it finally gets you the help you've been waiting for, but it can't have been a pleasant experience nevertheless; sending hugs!

House is relatively ok here but only because we spent the day out of the house. The loft however is turning into a horror scene need to tidy it but it's hot up there at the best of times.....

:)