#4 - Hoarding, Sorting, Organising, Friendship, Understanding. All On One Thread.

[Solo]

Are you a hoarder? Are you in a mess, untidy, disorganised? A bit lazy with housework? Are you are ill and not coping with the housework? Are you totally overwhelmed? Are you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason and can't let them go? Are you unable to just ask someone in for a cuppa at a moments notice or do dread the meter reader asking for access?
Do you find yourself nodding whilst reading any of this? If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please come and join us. There is no judging. We have something in common here and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small. We cheer one another along and drag the drowners from the depths of despair.

Join us; we don't bite! Welcome to thread number 4.

Me too Down we appear to be slacking off (wink).

I cannot find this thread on my 'I'm on' list and I keep completely loosing it, do you think that's why it's gone so quiet here? maybe no one can find it.

I don't know! It's on mine now but, I know that it'll disappear if no one at all posts for more than a week. Maybe put a watch on it too. I'll link in a PM to everyone tomorrow as I need my bed now.

I've sent a link to the posters I could see on this thread...hope I got everyone.

Thanks for the nudge Solo :)

Slow going here. Summer heat and poor health makes for grumpy Incy. Have some furniture ready to be rehomed though, which is a positive.

Yay! Hello Incy :) good to see you.

Yes, very slow here too but, I got rid of a big bag of 'rag' stuff to the charity shop. I've also been going through some paperwork and got rid of a load.

Sadly, my SIL has cancer and has very little time left and it's taking a huge amount of my time and energy. It's the saddest thing.

Oh Solo, I'm so very sorry to hear your sad news xx

My threads I'm on list disappeared so thanks for messaging me as I'd forgotten all about this thread.
My house has descended into absolute chaos. As has my mental health.
I inadvertently upset a family member with a completely trivial remark which has blown up a huge shit storm, everyone else says she's being ridiculous but can't be seen to side with me as the fallout would be Chernobyl all over again.
I got a ton of vile messages that broke my heart.
Coupled with I'm at the end of my tether with my DP's drinking, and other silly stuff that's ridiculous to get upset over but I reached breaking point earlier this week.
Before I'd look at the mess and get upset over it. Now I don't care.
Oh well, the only was is up, right?

Hi cherry good to have you back. Sorry things aren't good for you too. As I said above, my SIL is close to the end. She and my brother tied the knot on Thursday at the hospice and it was lovely but, I think she has now got her biggest wish and is losing the battle, so to speak. I'm off to bed as I may be called during the night. I'm exhausted but, I know I'm not the only one.

Oh solo. I hope that your SIL has peace at the end, I think it’s the kindest thing that can be wished for when there’s no more options. Sending calm your way.

Incy me too. Peace and a peaceful passing.

Marking place

Hi I’ve been reading through and this all sounds like me. I feel like no matter how much I get rid of to charity shop my house is still a mess!
I have never managed to organise the house properly since moving here 2 years ago.

My question is, how do people find time to declutter and get things organised when you work or are with children in the school hols? I have a week off this week but my dd wants me to do things with her most of the time and I feel I should although really I would love the time just to get this house sorted!
The only time I can see me being able to do it is at night when they’re in bed and then I’m too knackered!
When do other people do it?

Poppysball I definitely can't answer your question, I don't work and can't find the time or the motivation!
I'm in a mild panic as someone from my hobby's FB group is bringing something to my house on Sunday.
I've tried to tell her not to go to the trouble, I'll collect but she's insistent.
She told me on Monday.
I'm so ashamed of the mess in my house so I've got to sort it!
....I'll start tomorrow

Hi everyone, can I please join?

My house is kind of a mess. I look at other people's houses, and I don't really know how they keep them so clean and tidy! I think I just feel overwhelmed by it all. So, I hope this thread might help me a bit.

Thank you for the nudge! Took me a while to click on it, I don't think I've had a message to my inbox before so I didn't know that's what the symbol meant! I'm so sorry to hear about your SIL, life is just rubbish sometimes. If your brother(?) is under 50 he might like to have a look at the group WAY - Widowed and Young. I've found them invaluable, especially the Facebook group.

I've been awful at decluttering and have done the opposite and brought more in! Coupled with the fact that we've been away camping for most of the summer holiday so far I feel like our house is becoming more of a store room than a home. For me it's trying to get into the right frame of mind to get rid of things. For various reasons I think I have natural hoarding tendencies.

Hi! NothingWithoutEffort I hope posting here will help all of us. I'm going to try to keep posting on this thread to motivate me and make me "accountable"! I keep thinking that if I could just do 10/15 minutes decluttering a day it would make such a difference in a month. But as soon as I've got my children asleep I'm just not in the mood and I promise myself I'll do it tomorrow. And, of course, tomorrow never comes! And in the meantime the children keep being given more and more toys. My MIL tried to give my daughter her stamp collection yesterday to get her into doing that. No! No! No! So we've agreed it can stay in their (massive!) house and my daughter can look at it etc round there. It's just so hard to stop people giving us things as it's all done with the best intentions but it's getting me so down that our house just resembles a toy shop!

Actually doing some decluttering now!

Thank you for the link @Solo and my heart goes out to you about your very sad news. MIL was diagnosed with cancer last year and went through lots of treatment, it's a very tough time and now must be especially hard for you all

Another one here whose house is a tip! It was all going not too badly till the school holidays, then the twin tornadoes hit and I have zero time to do anything. The DTs went to PIL for a few hours yesterday and I did what I could - but it was like shovelling snow in a blizzard - house is back to its previous state almost immediately.....

@PocketFluff my DP moans and moans about the DC having too many toys - then buys them whatever piece of crap they whinge and pester for - aaarrgghhhh!!

Hello! Welcome back :) I am really happy to see you again and welcome NothingWithoutEffort too .

Sadly, my SIL passed away yesterday, she was 58. Pocket my Db is 52.

I really have no motivation and no energy to get anything done. My house is quite disgusting. The 3 weeks I've had off have just been eaten up with all the sad stuff and I'm back to work on Monday...my ME is also not great but, I'm guessing that's all the spoons I've used up recently.
It's a shame we can't have an online group chat where we could chat and gee one another up and encourage each other to do certain jobs. Hmmm...

Solo, I'm really sorry to hear your sad news - 58 is too young.

Thank you Solo and PocketFluff. I need this thread to help me - I think my MH suffers because of the way my house is (and then this becomes a reinforcing cycle).

DH and I have cleaned and tidied some of the kitchen and dining room this evening. And I've got a charity bag and a rags bag for recycling that I'm collecting things into.

Hello lovelies, I’ve had a bit of time away from MN for various reasons.
So sorry about your SIL, Solo 💐

Had a long and tiring trip down to Somerset this week, not a holiday but for the kids’ assessments at a charity clinic. They confirmed lots of what we thought (auditory processing issues, dyspraxia, ADHD, dyslexia shared between them!) and also flagged up issues we had no idea about. Really useful, I’m now in flare up mode though.

DSD has found a house already which is a shame really as it’s been wonderful having her stay! It will be nice to not have to store her stuff. But other than that I wish she was staying longer!

Totally up for FB chat groups by the way Solo, if that’s what you meant :)

Joining in. On holiday at the moment and making plans for when I get home.

Fed up with eBay. Boot sale or just donate to a charity shop?

I'm enjoying eBay at the moment ChampagneCommunist, but donating to a charity shop is my second go to. There's a particular charity that I support that has a shop and a furniture warehouse nearby.

RubySlippers77 I have this problem! I ask other people not to buy them things but then I go ahead and do it myself! Although I do tend to put a lot of thought into it (lots of wooden and "educational" toys) rather than impulse buying them tat. I also try not to buy plastic new so finding things they want and are second hand takes a bit more effort.

I'm so sorry to hear this Solo, life is so unfair sometimes. Make sure you are all kind to yourselves and do what works for you rather than what you should be doing or what other people expect. There's lots of help and support for widow/ers but men don't seem to access it as much as women. WAY Up is WAY'S sister charity for those over 50 and there's lots of groups on Facebook to chat and vent to. If he or you would like any advice or support please do message me, I'm a widow so "get it".

As far as decluttering goes, I managed to get a bin bag of rubbish/recycling (mainly magazines and broken "art" projects!) out of my daughter's room and two bin bags of toys! It looks so much better in there. Just have to finish tidying and finding a home for everything.

Sending you much love @Solo - can completely understand that housework/ decluttering is taking a back seat at the moment. Please do look after yourself in whatever way is best, and don't worry about anything else for now, we will all be here for support when you feel up to it

@PocketFluff I always end up with a big bag of plastic crap when I tidy out the DC's toys - ruddy Happy Meal toys are the biggest culprit!! Needs doing again now, we've been looking after a dog who chewed everything in sight, which meant loads of stuff got thrown in there just so he couldn't get it. The dog's home again now but I spent tonight batch cooking instead of tidying; there's not enough hours in the day to get everything done!