#4 - Hoarding, Sorting, Organising, Friendship, Understanding. All On One Thread.

[Solo]

Are you a hoarder? Are you in a mess, untidy, disorganised? A bit lazy with housework? Are you are ill and not coping with the housework? Are you totally overwhelmed? Are you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason and can't let them go? Are you unable to just ask someone in for a cuppa at a moments notice or do dread the meter reader asking for access?
Do you find yourself nodding whilst reading any of this? If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please come and join us. There is no judging. We have something in common here and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small. We cheer one another along and drag the drowners from the depths of despair.

Join us; we don't bite! Welcome to thread number 4.

Quiet in here!

Nothing done here at home...

Nothing here either. Total burnout mode (mentally I mean)

Post holiday knackeredness here. Holidays with small DC are definitely not relaxing, I could do with another holiday to get over the tiredness.....

House looks like a bomb's hit it again due to our washing machine packing up in the middle of the first load. Aaarrrgghhhh! I have no idea what's wrong so have shipped the washing mountain off to the launderette for them to deal with. Hopefully once that's out of the way I'll find the motivation to tidy the rest!

Hope everyone is feeling better?

I am still completely shattered after our holiday, tired, achey, everything. Having to take things easy so I don't end up very under the weather. House is still untidy but as DP doesn't seem to care (well apart from moaning, but he doesn't actually help!) then it will have to wait.

I'm a bit sad/ disappointed as well, I've offered to help three local charities now and not one of them has been polite enough to come back to me. It's all voluntary work which I could help with during the day as I'm a SAHM, and I've even done a bit for one of them before, but still nothing. Yet all of them are advertising for volunteers and saying how desperate they are, which doesn't do much for my self esteem! Surely it wouldn't hurt them to send a 'thanks but no thanks' or a 'we don't have anything you can help with at the moment, but thanks for offering and we'll keep you in mind' kind of message?!

Oh that’s disappointing ruby and my self esteem definitely takes a big hit with that sort of thing too :( could it be that you have to go through particular channels to apply? Like a website or something, I saw a charity shop asking for volunteers for a particular role and you had to apply on indeed.co.uk or something. Not replying is bloody rude though, I had to remind our LEA about that recently, how hard is it to send a one sentence reply to an email

I’m finding my self worth at rock bottom at the moment to be honest so nothing is really happening here, lots of half done things like games piled up to sell, I bought nice boxes for shelf organising and didn’t use them quick enough so one got damaged (thankfully not irreparably), that kind of thing.

We have the “early help team” visiting on Tuesday, this was initially due to needing to jump through hoops set by CAMHS but I think it will be useful anyway. And too much tidying is probably counter productive as they do need to see how much we are struggling.

Trying to also focus on home ed planning as we have 4/5 weeks left of term and that includes a visit from the LEA rep in which we can show what we’ve been doing (not actually compulsory but I think it will be quite nice for the Caglets).

Feeling rather overwhelmed at the state of the house, it’s getting more and more difficult.

I'm crying. Happy tears. I just paid the last of my mortgage. Got to go to work now.

Aaah that’s amazing solo well done! ❤️

House a mess still, got the Early Help people tomorrow, so it’s fine, I’m past caring. I’ll feel differently when we have the home ed inspector in a few weeks though.

Everything seems to take so much TIME though. Home ed interrupted this morning by having to sort out the printer again, this afternoon DS needs a haircut (done by me as we can’t afford one) and they both need nit checking again because one of my friends cannot be arsed to treat her kids so we caught a few last week 🙄 ffs. I’m in a mood. Need to get everything done then disappear to the gym

Great news Solo 👏

How are you feeling now Cag? Hope you felt a bit better after the gym!

Gradually feeling better and more energetic here, need to as the house is a tip ☹️ constant rain = toddlers trekking mud in and out of the house. That said I'm trying to have some time off in the evenings rather than spend it all doing housework, as DP clearly doesn't want to do any at all, therefore I don't see why I should take on 100% of it...

And yes, so frustrating (and a bit upsetting) about the charities. If they'd come back to say I wasn't suitable for x reason then at least I'd know! But I have no idea why they don't even respond when they are (allegedly) desperate for volunteers. In an act of petty revenge I have un-liked their Facebook pages. Not that they will know or care, but it's made me feel slightly better!

Ha, I like small acts of vengeance like that.

The gym was good, I started a challenge for the Stroke Association to walk a marathon in 2 weeks. I did 3.3 miles so quite a way to go. I’m not fit.

Mental health still shot to pieces really. We had the Early Help Team person today, she has referred the kids to Young Carers. Said the house was fine, although TBF she didn’t see upstairs!

Don't worry Cag, it wasn't them!! Good luck with your marathon challenge!

How long till Young Carers can offer any assistance; did they offer any suggestions in the meantime?

I blitzed the house upstairs yesterday, aiming to do most of downstairs today (I only get about 2 hours per day though). Really want the house clean again before the chaos of the summer holidays... feel like I'm living in a pigsty

Still nothing from the smaller local charity who were desperate for volunteers - annoyingly beforehand they had chased me up and asked me to go ahead ASAP, I was going to defer my application till after our summer holiday - what on earth was the point?!

Just had a friend pop round unexpectedly - it was lovely to see her but the downstairs of our house is still a tip - the DC are particularly destructive/ untidy at the moment

Must crack on with my tidying efforts so I'm not so embarrassed next time!!

Yes I hear you on the embarrassment! I know most of my good friends struggle just as much, but still. I’d love to have the house more “visitor ready”.

That is very frustrating about the lack of response.

I am feeling a bit sniffly and throat-tickly this morning, not sure if that’s a cold trying to settle in. I’ve not had any at all this year as I’ve been dashing to the pool and using the steam room at the first signs but I’m not sure I can get there until Tuesday at the earliest.

Only managed two sessions towards my walking challenge, I had a bad flare up day yesterday and feel quite run down so I’m not feeling confident that I’ll finish. :(

Needless to say I’ve not done any decluttering at all for ages. Got a dreadful to do list of life admin and it’s scaring me!

Oh with the Young Carers thing, no idea how long the wait is but figured it’s worth getting them on the waiting list. Other than that it’s just waiting to be assigned a family support worker who will do all the other stuff mainly signposting to other organisations who can help, and in particular getting us through the many hoops we have to jump through in order to be accepted by CAMHS (parenting courses and such, to prove DS actually does need assessment for ADHD rather than it just being caused by us ).

Really need to get up. Don’t want to.

How are you feeling now Cag? A close friend has a DS with severe ADHD and she's found it very hard to get the support they need. Multiple appointments only to get no further, plans agreed with the school and not implemented, I could go on... but he is now in a great school and thinking about secondary school options (he's Year 5), plus his meds are working well, so things are thankfully much better at the moment.

It's been a horrid day here, DP has been in a foul mood (probably hangover related as he was in the pub last night), the DC have been argumentative and feral and driven me round the bend... I completely lost my rag with DTS2 at one point as he wouldn't stop shouting, hitting and throwing things I cried for a looooong time afterwards, which perplexed him! They just want so much attention all the time and there's only one of me... plus DP will ignore them and look at his phone/ watch TV/ talk to random strangers instead, it really doesn't help with their behaviour.

Trying to work up some enthusiasm to tidy up and get our things ready for tomorrow (we have a theme park day out planned), but can't find any! I know it's silly but the charities being rubbish is just the last straw on top of squabbling DC and grumpy DP. I feel really sad and unmotivated, like I must be incredibly boring to be in this position

Bumping to keep in TIO. Hope you are all doing okay.

Well, DP is at last showing signs of his foul mood going, it's only taken a week!! I haven't said anything to him for days because when I try to I get snapped at. Just not worth it.... he's away next weekend though, which will be harder to manage the DC, but more peaceful after bedtime

The house is reasonably tidy at the moment but I still want to give the kitchen a good deep clean. Just keep putting it off!

Hi guys. Have name changed from one Hayao Miyazaki film to another

Things are proper shit here. Probably don’t need to tell you there’s been no decluttering or organising and the house is a mess.

You do know that I had to go in search of Hayao Miyazaki films to work out who you were, don't you?

Mwahahaha :o #sorrynotsorry

Anyway. How are you?

Things are just shit every day here really. Can barely see the bathroom floor for laundry. Loads of stuff on the stairs, in the hallway etc. Bugger it all.

I’m starting therapy on Wednesday. She’s a specialist in adult ASD/ADHD. Costs a fortune but hoping it’ll be helpful.

Ah sorry to hear that Cag/ Laputa, and I hope the therapy is helpful. Is there anything you can do in the meantime to help yourself feel a bit better?

We stayed out of the house all day, which means it is still not too bad - clearly this is the way forward

I'm trying to get everything shipshape before DP goes away next weekend as the DTs are such a handful at the moment that I don't have chance to do anything much when it's me on my own with them!

We are a quiet bunch at the moment!

Yep quiet here as I’m managing nothing and even the regular housework is building up more and more.

Now found out DSD is going to be living with us temporarily (could be as little as weeks but who knows really) which is good but argh more stuff less space!

Therapy was great thank you. How was it with DH away?

Hope things are ok for you all.

Glad to hear the therapy went/ is going well Laputa. Any chance DSD could lend a hand with the housework when she moves in? Obviously depends on her age but if she's old enough then offering to help/ being paid for chores might be an option

The house isn't too bad at the moment apart from the sodding kitchen floor which needs a deep clean, I'm hoping to give everything a good clean before the summer hols start and then try to keep on top of it when the DTs go to PIL once a week. Ha, we'll see how that goes.....!

DP is still away, back Monday. The DTs are driving me loopy, I'm dreading the long summer break need to get some activities booked in to help with keeping them distracted. They will be 4 in October and DTS2 in particular is being a typical hideously attention-seeking toddler at the moment. I can't take my eyes off them for 5 minutes without scratching, biting, fighting etc - makes me really sad as my friends who only have one DC (or a big age gap) are finding this age quite fun with their DC.

Need to go and do some batch cooking - I've lived off pancakes for the past couple of days as I just can't cook anything with the DTs around, they don't have the patience to let me get on with it!!

Ah that’s frustrating ruby little ones can be such bloody hard work.

DSD is 21 but messy like us :o we are discussing asking for babysitting as a part contribution though. She used to babysit the other two when they were slightly older (both of us worked Saturdays then) but since then she did a childcare course before uni so did lots of placements with babies and toddlers. And DH and I virtually never get any time alone in the day so that would be great if we could go out once a week or something. And just generally having someone else to leave watching her even if we just go into another room to declutter and stuff like that which normally we can’t do.

Ughghhh epic period pain and a flare up due to the heat. Not fun.

Seeing therapist again on 15th then will be seeing her once a month as it’s £90 a session 😭 but I got a notebook to write a journal after each session (I sat in the pub after! :o)

Hello.

It took me ages to find this thread! It wasn't on my 'threads I'm on list' anymore, I guess because it's been so long since I last joined in!

I've read everyone's posts and I'm all caught up to date with it all now.

I've been keeping up to date on laundry and food shopping and cooking dinner and all of that but I have not really been de cluttering or organising cupboards or anything that would be useful.

I've been procrastinating on so many things just recently.

I am not feeling very organised at the moment and can't seem to even think straight.