#4 - Hoarding, Sorting, Organising, Friendship, Understanding. All On One Thread.

[Solo]

Are you a hoarder? Are you in a mess, untidy, disorganised? A bit lazy with housework? Are you are ill and not coping with the housework? Are you totally overwhelmed? Are you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason and can't let them go? Are you unable to just ask someone in for a cuppa at a moments notice or do dread the meter reader asking for access?
Do you find yourself nodding whilst reading any of this? If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please come and join us. There is no judging. We have something in common here and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small. We cheer one another along and drag the drowners from the depths of despair.

Join us; we don't bite! Welcome to thread number 4.

Sounds like everyone is finding ways to be productive even against the odds. Decluttering still totally stalled here, my main drives this week are to cut out snacks, (but still eat nice stuff for meals), menu plan, catch up on dd1's phonics and write a little but each day. I've got a new story going (was meant to be editing the old one but never mind). Sometimes I only manage a couple of sentences in a day but it's still progress. I'm using google docs and writting on my phone, as it's the only device I get reliable access to. Not something I would ever have considered pre kids.

@ClaraTheImpossibleGirl oops, not another word from me re Cillit Bang 🤐 🤗 I’m also hearing lots of good things about the Viakal products, will be trying them next.

@SingToTheSky ‘a lead suit’ is a great way to describe the feeling! I’ve been wearing it a lot in the last few years 😔

All of my trackers, to-do lists and schedules are digital, but I am toying with the idea of starting a bullet journal one day.

@CherryMargo glad you are leaving the Cillit Bang alone DP decided once that it was far too chemical-y and he'd use all natural products to clean the bathroom in the once a year clean that he does - on and on and on he went about this, all evangelical - upshot was that we had a bathroom which stank of vinegar but still had limescale, I had to Cillit Bang it anyway

I've never used the Method laundry liquid @Miaowse, just couldn't justify the cost (usually get ours from Lidl/ Aldi!) but I'm very tempted. I do get Smol liquid pouches delivered too which smell lovely.

How is the housework challenge going @SingToTheSky? I am fighting a losing battle against all the housework/ cleaning that's desperately needed - it'll take me a good two or three days to do a deep clean once the DC are back at school, and who knows when that will be...

Well @GlumyGloomer, DS1 was up for three hours in the night, I certainly felt your pain with the tiredness!! He has really regressed during this lockdown, it's more and more like having a toddler around. He's borderline ASD and a nightmare unless he gets enough sleep, but he quite often works himself up and up and won't go to sleep at a decent time, and/ or wakes up far too early and won't go back to sleep. Then we get the poor behaviour during the day - very short attention span, hyperactiveness followed by tiredness meltdown, just switches off completely and won't listen. I actually have a consultation (via Zoom) with an ASD expert tomorrow for some help as I have no idea what more to do; I was exhausted and bad tempered today (not helped by AF arriving!), he was awful and we just had a grumpy, horrible day. He was doing really well at school - much better than I expected, to be honest - but now he is definitely turning into a whiny little horror

Glumy that’s so cool that you’re writing! I have had An Idea for years but it’s never got past just being a collection of random notes and snippets on my phone.

Housework challenge has been met for day one and two, yay! I felt pretty crap yesterday morning but the challenge inspired me to do a little. I’ve attached the page, taken Monday evening not yesterday hence only day 1 coloured in!

TBH I have no clue how I’d do a deep clean. I’d love to be able to just do a massive tidy up but I get so tired so quickly. So I’m just hoping the tiny amount of effort I will put in each day for the challenge will make a little difference.

Little one’s nursery is now shut which will make it even trickier to get stuff done.

Thanks @SingToTheSky, it's been my hobby since I was a teenager, but I'm very inconsistent with it it. I enjoy it a lot but it does take a bit of mental effort to get into the zone. I've learned that when I'm feeling inspired I really need to write as much as I can, before it goes again. I've only ever finished one book, hoping this will be my second (albeit a short one.)
Your journal pages always look beautiful, and so organised. Those seem like really good targets too.
@ClaraTheImpossibleGirl sorry you are also in sleep deprivation hell. I find it really drains out my ability to be productive, as every bit of interference from the kids feels magnified and I just end up losing my temper and hiding behind my phone.
I hope your zoom call with the ASD expert goes well/gave you lots of things to try. It must be so frustrating when your Ds was doing well in school. Hopefully the schools will be able to reopen in March.

I love that page design @SingToTheSky!

Hello all, I used to post on these threads about my room of doom.
It consisted of all the junk we've aquired as a family over the past 30 odd years.

Well until yesterday it was still an overwhelming mess, but dd and dh decided to tackle it so she could claim the bedroom herself.

We are getting there but so much has been just chucked, they are ruthless.
I've gained an office and all my lovely keepsakes and treasures are going in there before they start chucking those.
My intention was to see/charity shop, but they just took it all to the tip.
I'm not happy about it, but they said I'd started to resemble someone off a channel 4 documentary.

I have just thrown 2/3 of my card collection and still need to condense it further, but getting there.

I'll be able to throw several carrier bags a day for a while yet, can't wait to reach the challenge of just one a day/week.

How is everyone doing?

Oh, just wondered not sure if anyone can answer but:

Those floral deep bowl things that are usually presented to someone, on a little stand and has a metal mesh thing on top.
I want to keep one with flowers in but have never seen them done.
Do I use oasis or water like a vase?

Hi @Devlesko, hope it's going well with the room of doom!!

I've only ever seen those mesh things used with a sponge, but if it's secure enough I don't see why you couldn't put water in it...?

I binned/ Freegled/ charity shopped loads of stuff when I had a big clear out last term, really glad I did now with the DC home ALL THE TIME - I couldn't have coped without being able to lay my hands on all the bits I need for home schooling. As it is I know that once they finally go back to school I'll have to spend a good few days cleaning, but we'll probably still be in lockdown anyway so it's not like I'll have anything else to do

Your writing sounds inspirational @GlumyGloomer, I honestly have no idea how people with small DC find time to do anything except survive - I think 5+ years of not enough sleep, zero lie ins and poor health has taken its toll on me! And I didn't want to sign up for any studying at the beginning of the school year in case, well, we went into lockdown again and I couldn't do it with the DC home; just as well, as it turns out...

My ASD consultation was really helpful thank you, the person I spoke to had 1 NT DC and 2 with ASD, so they did empathise! I got lots of useful ideas about breaking down the day into smaller chunks so DS1 doesn't get overwhelmed (always leads to a meltdown) and why he has the habits he does. I need to read up a bit about it, but it made a lot of sense.

I am still in awe of your journalling @SingToTheSky

Aw thanks 😳

Threw a few more bits out today. Really hope I can keep up with this challenge. Still need to clean something (the bath today) and tidy another tub of toys before bed.

Ordered the dishwasher today wooooo!!!

Great news about the dishwasher @SingToTheSky how long before it arrives?

One tip which was given to me by the dishwasher repair man - he said Finish and Fairy are much better for dishwashers than own brand stuff - I usually use own brand products for pretty much everything, but have to admit that since I switched it has worked better. Might be because we have very hard water, though.

The house is still looking pretty ok with a fair amount of work every day but we are gradually sinking under a layer of grime which I'll have to remove on the happy day when the DC return to school...

Really hoping that Sainsburys do their Tu 25% off next week so I can stock up on pyjamas for the DC, new sports stuff for me and also some loungewear, which I am waaaaay behind the game on and have only just discovered - it's just socially acceptable pyjamas, right?! I have some super comfy joggers but would like another pair and maybe a hoodie. Might as well be comfy at home as lockdown shows no sign of ending soon

Ooh that’s interesting clara thanks! It’s arriving Monday, I am beside myself frankly 😂 it’s not even me who does most of the washing up - it has been more DH’s role since I first got sick in 2012 as the dizziness makes it really hard, but we’ve been trying to even it up and share it between us and the older two kids. However I’m also excited about the space it’ll save - will be very strict about putting stuff IN when done not just leaving it on the counter, so the reduction in visual clutter will be amazing, and I’m hoping that means we are more inspired to cook and bake in the afternoons as our counters are clearer, AND we will not have to wash up after!

I threw three more little things away today as per my new rule. We’ve also ordered new flooring as it was in sale but we have a lot of decluttering to do before painting and then doing the floor! Eeeek!

I really REALLY do not want to end up simply moving stuff elsewhere in the house. I know stuff will need to be moved around regardless but we absolutely have to be ruthless first.

Hi all,

It’s been 10 days since my last update. My sink was shining on eight days out of 10, and I’ve crossed the first thing off my 2021 to-do list ⬇️

Yesterday I finally finished reading the 2001 edition of ‘Getting Things Done’ by David Allen 📗 Due to all sorts of distractions and my lack of focus it took me five months 🤦‍♀‍ Today I’ve spent seven (!) hours implementing the first two elements of the GTD method into my life. I’m absolutely knackered but I’m sure it was the right thing to do, and for the first time in years I’m looking forward to Monday!

For those unfamiliar with the book, it is an extremely detailed task management system. Initially targeted at CEOs, this method has since been adjusted to benefit anyone who is buried under a pile of life- and/or work-related tasks, and suffers from mental overload. It was not an easy read, but I’d still recommend 😉 There is also an accompanying blog and a podcast with further advice and information.

That sounds interesting and useful @CherryMargo I am a terrible procrastinator in all aspects of life, not just with clutter.

Well we’ve had an interesting and stressful few days but it resulted in a lot of cleaning due to worries about contamination. But the dishwasher is here and settling in - it’s definitely part of the family already :o and made this week a lot easier than it would have otherwise been! The kitchen looks so much cleaner.

We then had an email last night saying our new flooring is arriving today. Cue big panic because we need to store it until we’ve painted. This meant moving stuff from the downstairs cupboard into the already full upstairs cupboard. Thankfully we found a fair bit to get rid of (some was clothes we’d already decided could go but then forgot to do anything with them).

I’ve now hidden away some toys I’d sorted so they basically won’t be accessible until we’ve done the floor... I’m thinking of it as long term toy rotation. This has meant I got out yet more boxes of random crap. It’s absolutely batshit how many trays there are with random bits and pieces in. It all takes so long to sort and it’s really disheartening as it ends up in a mess again really quickly! I hit a wall after a little while but I need to crack on really.

That book sounds really helpful @CherryMargo (although I know I'd probably procrastinate a lot before I read it ) - life admin is completely getting on top of me at the moment, anything that can help is welcome! The house is slowly turning into a pigsty again; I can tidy perhaps 90% of it every evening but not do any deep cleaning, so it's gradually degenerating and I'm finding it very depressing. Once the DC are back at school it'll take me several days to get back to where I was before Christmas

Great news about the dishwasher @SingToTheSky!! Mine is going two or three times a day at the moment, I'm incredibly glad we have it. Our loft sounds very similar to your cupboard, it was full of random stuff that we'd accumulated over the years, hence why it took me days and days to clear it! Actually a lot of DP's random utter crap stuff is still up there, he says he 'doesn't have time' to clear it, then asks me whether the charity shop will want his video collection

Brain fog here at the moment - I'm just exhausted from home schooling/ constant tidying and snack providing/ boredom of having nowhere to go and nothing to look forward to. Perhaps half term will give us a bit of a break?!

Brain fog sympathy clara! (as if to prove my point, I actually typed brain FROG first 😳🐸😂) I totally crashed earlier and had to go to bed for a bit. I was just sitting surrounded by trays having sorted a bit - not even properly, just into different broad categories for the most part - and then I was looking at the leftover stuff and thinking I just did not have a fucking clue what to do with it, I couldn’t make a single other decision. My brain just stopped working and I was totally shattered. :(

The flooring didn’t show up, it was an admin error, but it is supposedly coming on Monday which is still earlier than what we wanted. But I know it’s a good thing that they are bringing it because it’s inspired us to actually get on with stuff.

Tomorrow I need to properly bag up clothes for collection as they’re all in the kitchen now. That will get some space but it doesn’t feel like a big win really because it’s stuff we made decisions on months ago.

I’m so glad it’s half term, unfortunately there is likely to still be some tension as DD1 has some work to catch up on, but it will still be easier as we don’t have to worry about new work or getting DS to do anything. It’s a good opportunity to really push on with decluttering and tidying.

It’s so hard to know how hard to push myself though. It was so easy to make decisions earlier and then suddenly I just couldn’t anymore and I’ve not recovered yet. Still, I did also get rid of a big bag of rubbish and a pile of recycling.

Tiny bit more sorting done today after having an awful day MH wise yesterday. Decided not to push myself though and only got rid of a few easy things, and rehomed a few bricks/bits of other toys. Can’t face making more decisions really.

Flooring arrived and the 3 bin bags of clothes are bagged and labelled for whenever the collection happens.

I’m feeling really overwhelmed by the house at the moment. Not sure if it’s worse due to the new meds making me anxious. But the problem is I feel like we’ve got rid of so much easy stuff and now what we are left with I just can’t see my way through at all. It’s too many decisions and it’s too hard. I would love to live with much less but can’t envisage it enough to achieve it!

Oh @SingToTheSky I can completely empathise. I find myself getting rid of nice easy books and clothes etc as it’s obvious what to do with them - donate to charity and I can feel good about someone else getting to enjoy them - but it’s all the random crap that I really struggle with. I don’t know the answer, but I guess we just keep doing our best and if we stick with it one day the tide will turn.

I hope so miaowse 💐 it’s books that are the main stalling point for me, it’s all tied up in how I feel about home ed (it’s a long term thing for us, DS came out of school 6 years ago) and whether I’m doing enough for my kids. Do I sell books and get the space and the money now, or do we store it until the little one is older and we might use them then. The future is a scary thing even without the covid stuff, DH’s health deteriorating and my MH is all over the place ATM. So I think I need to ignore the sunk cost fallacy and the feelings of failure and choose quite a lot to go. We have a great library (even if the county is hit by cuts it should be fairly safe as it’s one of the four biggest etc) and with DS we are using online resources a lot more. It just feels really hard to let go of the hope and the plans those books represent. But I really don’t see how the living room will get any better without sorting it.

But yes also the really random shit that doesn’t seem to belong in any category. I have read before that if you want to declutter you should look IN the cupboards etc and not at the mess that’s all over the place. Because the stuff that’s out is out because you’re using it, and the stuff hidden away is what isn’t being brought out and used and is therefore stopping you putting important stuff away. That certainly holds for our living room as the actual books on the shelves stay virtually untouched so they are disorganised but not getting worse, while random crap gets placed in front of said books and has nowhere to go. In theory it could be boxed up until the 3yo is old enough but for some stuff that’s years away and I have a bad feeling we’d end up missing the boat with it anyway. I think I’m gearing up to sell a lot of them but it feels so difficult!

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate so it’s brilliant you’re still making progress.

We have a wall of bookcases which I love in theory, but I have either double stacked books or random rubbish in front of the books and it just looks so cluttered (and dust covered). I wish IKEA billies could be just the exact depth of a paperback so there was no extra room to act as a clutter magnet.

Thank you. 💐 Ha, yes, that extra space just screams PUT RANDOM SHIT DOWN ON ME doesn’t it 😳

I think I’ll have to take the decision making in stages. There are some that will be easier to get rid of than others.

I can’t do it yet until some other stuff is a bit clearer though. I’m finding it so hard to balance decluttering with other stuff, I’m behind on my studying and I’ve barely exercised in a week 🤦🏻‍♀️

“I’m finding it so hard to balance decluttering with other stuff, I’m behind on my studying and I’ve barely exercised in a week”

@SingToTheSky I can totally relate to what you’re saying! Same issue here: if I focus on a certain area of my life, everything else starts falling apart. If I stay on top of my laundry, I don’t have time to cook, and resort to takeaways, if I exercise regularly, then I cannot find time to read, and so on. Everything ends up being halfway finished, and causes major frustration.

Last week I implemented the last three elements of the aforementioned GTD method, and I pray that I see the results soon 🙏

Miowse I used to have perfect depth bookcases, I think they were from homebase. They're still in my parents spare room, being used to store bulk bought consumables.
I've accepted that lovely bookcases are not in my future, or at least would be so far off that there's no point in waiting.
I sold more books today, in my quest to cut down to an amount that can live in under bed storage. I'm down to the really hard decisions now. There are books which, if I'm being really honest I'm not really desperate to read again, but getting rid of them feels like sacrilege. It's irrational, but I feel like I'm erasing my past almost. I also feel resentful that I have to cram everything I value into a little box room, because anywhere else I could put stuff is fair game for the kids to destroy
They aren't bad, I'm just lousy at enforcing boundaries.
Sing that sounds like a lot going on, don't push yourself too hard.
Cherry yep, me too. I can do one thing well or everything badly. It's a shame I always get forced into the latter.