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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

#4 - Hoarding, Sorting, Organising, Friendship, Understanding. All On One Thread.

997 replies

Solo · 30/03/2019 23:56

Are you a hoarder? Are you in a mess, untidy, disorganised? A bit lazy with housework? Are you are ill and not coping with the housework? Are you totally overwhelmed? Are you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason and can't let them go? Are you unable to just ask someone in for a cuppa at a moments notice or do dread the meter reader asking for access?
Do you find yourself nodding whilst reading any of this? If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please come and join us. There is no judging. We have something in common here and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small. We cheer one another along and drag the drowners from the depths of despair.

Join us; we don't bite! Welcome to thread number 4.

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ClaraTheImpossibleGirl · 21/12/2020 23:29

Thanks @GlumyGloomer, his spots are drying up a lot now although he keeps pulling up his top to 'air his tummy' every time we go outside Confused if the schools were open I'd send him back now, but who knows if they'll be back in Jan as planned... and sleep deprivation is awful, by the way. I feel your pain there!

Do you have any courses planned for next term @SingToTheSky? I'm thinking about signing up for something, but am reluctant with Boris changing the goalposts all the time! I didn't get the last job I applied for, they finally sent me an email on Friday saying that the company were going with someone else (I almost sent a sarcastic reply saying "NO SHIT SHERLOCK" but thought better of it, just in case!) so am still applying for various part time bits, but would also enjoy using my brain for a bit...

We are now in tier 4 which means I can't meet up with my flaky friend, but TBH I'm quite relieved Grin she's been cancelling our meet ups at the last minute for four years now, after six in a row I gave up offering to get together. She got back in touch recently and seemed to be genuinely keen to meet, we arranged something and... she cancelled. I really should know better!! Plus she always gets DS1's name wrong despite seeing it written many, many times, which really irritates me. It has two common spellings so I'll write "Stephen & I..." and she'll reply with "oh, did you and Steven...?" - makes me absolutely seethe Angry

(His name isn't actually Stephen, but the issue is the same!)

House is reasonably tidy but the kitchen could do with a good clean. DP is off work now for a couple of weeks and already moaning so perhaps he'll look after the DC and I can crack on with the cleaning as if

Hope you are well @cherrytree63? And hope everyone is managing to enjoy Christmas to some extent despite all the doom and gloom!

SingToTheSky · 22/12/2020 01:02

Hello lovelies! I’m soooo bored and frustrated. Been isolating for a week, got a few more days left. You’d think I’d use that time to declutter wouldn’t you Hmm

I’ve been working on my course today, I’m doing Understanding children and young people’s mental health. Just another free one like the counselling skills. I’m doing a bit better keeping up with it so far, it’s quite simple but involves a bit more work. I still can’t decide what to do in the longer term.

Zero motivation to sort the house as nobody is visiting! At least after Christmas we can sort our room a bit more, as we’ve had the presents stashed in the drawers.

Doesn’t sound like a huge loss there @ClaraTheImpossibleGirl the flakiness would annoy me at that level 😱

@GlumyGloomer ugh sorry about the broken nights. DD2 finally has a bed sorted and she does sleep through some nights now, but if she wakes up she just climbs in with us and I’m too knackered to object 😳

GlumyGloomer · 22/12/2020 09:38

Hello!
I've just re read my last post, so many typos, lol. Sleep has been a bit better since then. Last night I managed to finish present wrapping, which is a big relief.
@ClaraTheImpossibleGirl sorry you didn't get the job. It's hard when you're not in work, Dh had loads of interviews after his masters before he got a job. Then 8 months later he got a better job by hardly trying. It's just about perseverance at this point.
@SingToTheSky sorry to hear you've been isolating, glad it's almost over. Dd1 is isolating at the moment. We've all got colds (?) too so none of us are going out at the moment just in case.
Hope everyone is coping alright with the latest restrictions. We always have Christmas at home, but I really feel for everyone who was looking forwards to seeing family and now can't. Obviously it's a bit different if you did not want to see family and now don't have to, silver linings and all Wink
I've almost tidied the kitchen, but it still needs cleaning. I cleaned the bathroom the other day, still got to do the bedrooms and the living room. I'd like the house at least a bit nicer for Christmas.

Solo · 24/12/2020 19:29

Hello friends. Still on the phone hence not posting. I hope you are all well, and ready for Christmas - whatever you may be doing.

My house is still crap.
I hope to catch you all soon. (flowers)

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Solo · 24/12/2020 19:30
Flowers
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GlumyGloomer · 24/12/2020 20:38

Hi @Solo, my house is still totally crap too, including the kitchen which I was imagining would be all clean and tidy. Oh well. The kids are happy (and still awake, sigh) which I will take as a win for now.
Happy Christmas everyone Smile

Solo · 25/12/2020 00:34

Merry Christmas xx

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ClaraTheImpossibleGirl · 25/12/2020 22:36

Merry Christmas all and good to hear from you again @Solo 

Kitchen still a bit of a disaster zone here too @GlumyGloomer - really needs a good clean of the surfaces and floor - with both DC full of chicken pox though I am frankly too knackered to care...

Your courses sound really interesting @SingToTheSky! I'd like to start one in January assuming I haven't found a job by then and of course that the schools go back Confused

Well, I hope that next year will also see me properly on top of all stuff to do with the house and making an effort to lose the weight I need to. On that note, DP is getting worryingly big and I'm not sure how best to help him; he's well over 20 stone by now and not coping well with it. He's bitching and moaning at me as I buy the food, do the cooking etc but the issue is more that he eats too much - if he feels like he hasn't had enough at a meal he'll fill up on (plenty of) bread, hoover up the DC's leftovers, pick at anything to hand etc. Plus at least one night a week he'll drink a couple of bottles of wine and snack for ages on crisps, peanuts etc. I offered him fruit & veg to snack on but it was rejected so I'm not sure what else I can do?! Probably nothing but it's very frustrating!

GlumyGloomer · 31/12/2020 14:46

Happy new year everyone!
Last year my one hope was for 2020 to be better than 2019 (which goes down as my worst ever thanks to dd1 being in a horrible accident). Cue pandemic Hmm so here I am again hoping for a better and less health anxiety inducing year.
Also determined to improve the house this year. Dd2 has gone up a clothes size, so been bagging up the old ones for charity. Dd1's new wardrobe should be arriving on the 16th, fingers crossed it shows up. Did IKEA ever get back to you about your missing order, @SingToTheSky?
In other news after 10 years of the same excellent but now extremely shabby coat I have boldly ordered a new one. It's fully waterproof, which should be nice, hopefully very warm and also...red. Part of me wonders how I dare (not felt confident at all in my appearance for years) and part of me feels sad that those feelings have crept in, largely just from me not having any time or money to invest in myself since having kids. Hopefully I don't put it on and feel like a total idiot...

Miaowse · 31/12/2020 22:25

@GlumyGloomer I bet your new red coat is awesome - hopefully you will feel fabulous in it, but if not I’m sure you can swap it for one that does make you feel great. I would love a red duffle coat but have not yet found one that suits me/is the right shade/right length/doesn’t have weird toggles etc. I’m quite fussy Grin

@ClaraTheImpossibleGirl not really fair for your DH to place this responsibility on you. I would be very frustrated too.

Anyway, was popping on here to share a great article I just read:

dengarden.com/cleaning/How-To-Get-A-Handle-On-Your-Hoarding

I love the last section and thought it would be a positive message to take into the new year:

Never feel guilty or ashamed of your home. Don't let anyone else make you feel bad either. We all have our mountains to climb, and you are working on yours. That is something to be proud of.

Solo · 31/12/2020 23:51

Friends, just a quick message of "Happy New Year!" I wish us all a wonderful decluttering and tidy 2021.

Best wishes to you all. Thanks

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ClaraTheImpossibleGirl · 04/01/2021 22:37

Wishing you all a Happy New Year too (and hope you are doing well, @Solo!)

Despite all my resolutions, I haven't been able to get on MN much yet this year. My idea was to get the DC back to school tomorrow, spend a few days sorting out the house and getting the Christmas stuff back in the loft properly (it's all in a big pile at the moment!), then catch up on here and job hunt again. What could possibly go wrong with that plan?! Hmm

I hope your DD1 is fully recovered from her accident @GlumyGloomer? DS2 broke his arm in two places in 2019 which was quite traumatising for him, so I too was expecting better things from 2020... hah! And has your lovely new coat arrived yet? I covet the yellow Joules coat that is often featured on here, but am lacking in £££ to buy it Sad

Thank you for the interesting article @Miaowse! Do you know what, it's completely right about choosing a room to start with; I think my issue is that I never quite get to the end of the 'room list' before the first one looks filthy again! (And I don't live in any sort of mansion, honest!!) Especially at the moment, the DC are constantly trailing mud into the house - we have to get out and about for exercise and to save my sanity but it's hard at this time of year!

How are you all feeling now @SingToTheSky?

SingToTheSky · 04/01/2021 23:28

Ooh I haven’t posted since before Christmas! Happy new year but it doesn’t feel too happy now does it. Gah.

Managed a little tidying the last few days but not really decluttering. The Ikea order finally arrived though (it was an admin error the last time) so today we built the bookcase and moved some other furniture around which should help a bit upstairs especially for DS, but it also means we will get a desk as it’s basically another lego shelf for DS, he does all his learning stuff in the living room.

Miaowse · 05/01/2021 01:04

I’ve managed to keep my kitchen tidy-for-me for over a fortnight and I’m just focusing on maintaining this plus making occasional tiny incremental improvements to get it to tidy tidy. Taking it slowly and hoping the habit sticks this time...

SingToTheSky · 05/01/2021 10:52

Well done miaowse! Little changes over time must stick better I think.

GlumyGloomer · 05/01/2021 14:52

My phone just killed a huge post Angry
I'll try again later

GlumyGloomer · 05/01/2021 19:02

@ClaraTheImpossibleGirl thanks, she's fine now. It was a kitchen accident and she was badly scalded on her arm and legs. We're still in scar therapy but she's incredibly resilient, and now wants to be a doctor when she grows up. Sorry to hear your ds also had a rubbish time in 2019. It's heartbreaking to see them go through isn't it?
My new coat arrived. It's a bit bulky on the shoulders but feels very warm, and doesn't look too ridiculous. It was quite emotional getting rid of the old coat, it had been with me through so much, and looked as battered as I feel.

GlumyGloomer · 05/01/2021 19:10

@Miaowse good job on the kitchen, I find a tidy kitchen does wonders for my MH. I was keeping on too of mine in summer but then dd2's sleep went to pot and it's been back to the usual depressing mess since then.
@SingToTheSky glad the IKEA stuff turned up eventually, hope they were suitably apologetic.
A paralegal made an error which almost caused my house purchase to fall through on completion day, then when it was identified she just dumped me on hold and ran away. I eventually got hold of her colleague who apologised, but I was still angry that the woman who nearly made me homeless didn't have the decency to apologise herself.

Miaowse · 05/01/2021 21:20

Oh goodness @GlumyGloomer that must have been a terrifying ordeal. Very glad to hear she is doing better now.

Thank you to you and @SingToTheSky for the kitchen encouragement. I’ve been here before many times and it’s always gradually slid back into chaos so we’ll see if I can keep it going this time. It definitely helps boost my mood. I’ve re-started my bullet journal trackers and that is helping too.

@ClaraTheImpossibleGirl the suggestion in the article to look at items one by one and decide if it should belong in the room it’s in or somewhere else was quite persuasive to me. It made it seem like a much more manageable job. I have yet to put it into practice though! We seem to have a lot of stuff with no obvious home at the minute.

Hope everyone is ok and plans are not too disrupted by the new lockdown. It has certainly scuppered some of my more ambitious projects.

ClaraTheImpossibleGirl · 05/01/2021 22:08

I started with one room today @Miaowse and bribed the DC with tablet time whilst I did it - there's still an awful lot to do but I do feel better for making a start. But oh, the kitchen Shock - dreading having to make a start on it, but like everyone else, I know how much better I feel when it's clean and tidy!

Glad your furniture turned up @SingToTheSky! I bought quite a lot of secondhand Ikea storage units for the DC's stuff, it lasts well. Just so handy for making you feel more organised Grin

Your poor DD @GlumyGloomer - it happens so easily though - I went on a children's first aid course a few years ago (when my DC were tiny) and the teacher was telling us that her DD had scalded herself with a hot cup of tea, so even people trained to look for these situations can't avoid them! I'm so pleased that she is doing fine now, and what a lovely ambition, to help people as she was helped Smile I don't think DS2 will remember his accident (even seeing the scar confuses him now!) but I certainly will...

Home schooling allegedly starts in earnest tomorrow. It's freezing cold here with occasional bouts of freezing rain, just to add to our joy. And the house is still a post-Christmas tip. Dry January will not be happening here Gin

CherryMargo · 06/01/2021 00:05

Hello everyone and happy New Year! 🎄🎇🥂🎁

Can I join you please? Here is my confession entry ticket 🎫

I was hoarding all sorts of things for 15+ years, and my hoard survived two flat moves 🏡 🚛 🏚️ I just could not say farewell to it 🤦 I struggled to throw things away unless they were completely used up/worn out/broken beyond repair, and I used to buy/collect too much. Eventually my small flat ended up being choke-full of items.

My ‘sorting & organising’ journey started in December 2016, and I have achieved some success but there’s a still a long road ahead of me.

I often feel disheartened and overwhelmed, and I procrastinate a lot. So I was very happy to come across the original 2013 thread (The Hoarders Anonymous Thread. Sorting It Out), because it inspired me to keep going!

Thank you, @Solo, for starting the conversation! 🙏 I’ve read every single comment on all four threads, and I swore that if I wasn’t done with my hoard by 2021, then I ought to join! So here I am! 😊

ClaraTheImpossibleGirl · 06/01/2021 21:04

Welcome @CherryMargo! (We also have @cherrytree63 on here, who I hope is well!)

It's great that you've made a start on sorting out your hoard Smile - I say that whilst looking at a pile of Christmas stuff that I still need to sort through...

Let's hope we can all help each other in 2021!

DramaLamaDingDong · 06/01/2021 21:04

Hello, Solo and all overwhelmed hoarders Mumsnetters here. I flipped this thread, so the first one I saw was CherryMargo's confession. Thanks, Cherry -- that's given me the courage to join in.

DH and I have a rented storage container as well as a shedful of stuff, which we've been trying to deal with for more than 10 years.

But "trying" mainly means bringing a box each indoors, spending ages sorting them out, finding somewhere in the house to put the few things we want to keep and then giving up. Repeat every few weeks.

It's mainly:
Sentimental stuff from our (long ago) childhoods and youth, or things left to us by relatives who know we won't throw them out.
Broken things that we know could be mended if we could find someone to mend them.
Loads of old magazines.
Things used once and easily reusable, except that we have no use for them.
Stuff that just seems to good to go to landfill, but can't even be recycled or composted.

We try every way we can to pass this stuff on: Freecycle, Nextdoor, other neighbourhood websites. Anything saleable goes to charity shops. We used to take magazines to a local care home, but they can't take any more since Covid.

But the task hangs endlessly over us -- over me really, as DH doesn't suffer from the guilt and anxiety I feel. And as we get older, and slower and weaker, I fear that we'll never free ourselves from this stupid first-world burden.

So instead of unpacking boxes, I'm here on Mumsnet .... Hmmm ... But hoping for some inspiration! And meanwhile enjoying other MNers' stories.

ClaraTheImpossibleGirl · 08/01/2021 21:59

That does sound tough @DramaLamaDingDong; is it costing you much for the storage as well? How many boxes do you think you have left?

My DM is much the same!! She had to downsize and knew for years that she was moving house, just holding on for the right place. I don't think she managed to throw away a single thing before she moved so everything she didn't need/ couldn't fit in the new house is in storage, which she's still paying for three years on Shock

I'm still plodding on with the housework and the soul-destroying task of home schooling. My current cunning plan is to divide the house into 10 areas and try to do at least one a day. I'm currently up to 4 and hope to do another two this weekend - fingers crossed that I can actually keep things looking vaguely ok with the DC at home all the time...

DramaLamaDingDong · 10/01/2021 13:18

The storage costs about £100 a month, ClaraTheImpossibleGirl. I know, it’s insane, I think of the holidays we could have had with the money we’ve wasted!

We downsized a lot when we moved, and at first we got rid of lots of stuff, but we were both working long hours and gradually lost the energy.

I hope your busy weekend is going well. Flowers to you and your DM, especially with you home-schooling, that’s a huge task that’s been dropped on parents with nowhere near enough help. Good luck with it all.

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