#4 - Hoarding, Sorting, Organising, Friendship, Understanding. All On One Thread.

[Solo]

Are you a hoarder? Are you in a mess, untidy, disorganised? A bit lazy with housework? Are you are ill and not coping with the housework? Are you totally overwhelmed? Are you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason and can't let them go? Are you unable to just ask someone in for a cuppa at a moments notice or do dread the meter reader asking for access?
Do you find yourself nodding whilst reading any of this? If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please come and join us. There is no judging. We have something in common here and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small. We cheer one another along and drag the drowners from the depths of despair.

Join us; we don't bite! Welcome to thread number 4.

I’ve just sorted through about ten boxes of random crap gathered from everywhere 😳 there’s still a bit I don’t know what to do with but it’s progress.

Cherry :( I'm sorry about your son's troubles. You feel helpless. My Ds will be 22 this year and has had suicidal thoughts since he was 7/8yo. He still has the black thoughts on occasion but, he's stopped smoking weed (which he started at about 17/18 to help him sleep - and it did but, it got to be a habit that wasn't attached to bedtimes only). Thankfully, he now sleeps but, he does still get black moods and has decided to get some counselling as it was/is all getting in the way of his relationship plus, he knows I worry about him so much which affects my health. I hope your Ds gets some support that isn't solely 'you' because it's really hard to shoulder your grown-up children's issues.

Glad Dh actually helped you (sorry, I'm a bit behind).

Ruby I don't think you mentioned the type of course you want to do - and I'm sorry if you did and I've not remembered but, could you look at another provider? Not quite so straight forward for your Ds's assessment though which is so annoying.

LaneBoy I know what you mean about withdrawing from friends. I do this often. Too often really as I just don't have the energy.

ME is still biting my heels. I'm trying to get things done still. The kitchen looks slightly better, and I'm hoping to get it properly tidy which would mean I can get someone in to reattach my wall units so that I can actually use them . This would be sooo helpful!
Back in the office is okay, I suppose. I have a job which is a bonus at this time but, I have to be there 5 days a week now - but, they owe me hours so, I'm taking some to be at home (not working) for 2 days a week for June.
Dd is still not washing or cleaning her teeth (with braces!) very often. She actually asked me why she needed to clean her teeth the other day! You'd think that I'm not a great example wouldn't you, but I spend approximately 6 minutes brushing my teeth in the mornings! And I shower every morning.

I'm sorry, I've probably missed some of you
Right, must do dinner. Won't get any help with that either. Dd actually ate one solitary kiwi fruit on Saturday as I refused to cook and she couldn't be bothered. I won't win, will I?

I'm off tomorrow. Much to do.

Sending positive to you all.

Thank you for the positive vibes @Solo! Your poor DS sounds like he's been through the mill, I hope the counselling will help him. And your DD - I know there's no arguing with teenagers but blimey, it must be hard work!

Glad you're making progress with the decluttering @LaneBoy. Once I have an afternoon without the DC (soon, maybe?!) I'm going to finish tidying the loft, which means I can box up and shift a lot of stuff up there that's currently cluttering up the DC's bedroom...

Still no progress with DS1's assessment, it's another week now and I still haven't received the questionnaire that was supposed to have been sent for the second time I'm going to try some local charities instead and ask for any suggestions. I know he's only 4 but he really struggles with his impulse control, he lashed out at DS2 today with a stick and could have hurt him badly. When he's calm he knows it's wrong - but when the red mist descends it's all

I was hoping to do a Teaching Assistant training course Solo but no news on that either. I mean to be fair I haven't chased it up but the local college have been zero help! Realistically they are the only one I could use as everything else is too far away. I just don't know if I want to pay them when they don't seem very reliable!

Can I join in please? Have just started the mammoth task of decluttering my bedroom. Been at it about 90 minutes and have filled two bn bags already.
And it hasn't even made a discernible dent. It's going to be a long job. Am off all this week so will try and spend the whole week doing it

Yes, hello pigeons, come on in :) you are welcome! How are you doing in your bedroom? Do you only have the one room to tackle or are there other things to do?

Ruby I do hope you get some help for your LO, and that you can get your course sorted too.

Well, my progress this past almost a week...

The kitchen is improved, but not ready just yet.
I have been going through some of my clothes and Dd's. I've got a lot of bags for the charity shops which, unfortunately, are still closed. But, I'm no longer thinking of C4C - I just want it gone! I've given a bag of stuff to my friend's Dd, and I think there will be more to go to her, too. Don't get me wrong, I have hardly dented it but, I've done more this week than I've done in years. I just wish my back didn't hurt so much.

Onwards, and upwards!

Thank you![

My bedroom is the main problem. If I can get that sorted it will have a massive knock on effect on the whole house, and my whole life to be honest.
This has been years in the making.
Actually took the bags of crap to the tip today rather than letting them in the corner of the room for another few months!

Have filled another bag to go to the tip and another for the charity shop. That has left my chest of drawers empty!

Sounds like you're making good progress @Prettybluepigeons!
I started "spring cleaning" my bedroom weeks ago, but decided not to clean it until my laundry mountain was washed and put away, but I've got no further.
I wish I was one of those really energetic people who always need to be doing something, one of my in laws has an immaculate house, decorates regularly and works from home as a child minder! I can't even keep on top of my laundry

Would it be worth putting in bags and dropping it off at the launderette for a service wash?
It will come back clean, dry and folded.

While it is out of the house you can clean ready for it to come back?

I've got a weird mental block with my laundry, I keep on top of the washing, but struggle to put it away. I've plenty of storage, I've decluttered my clothes a lot.

How are you getting on @Prettybluepigeons? Your decluttering was going amazingly!

@cherrytree63 I have to listen to an audiobook or music whilst I tackle the clean laundry pile, otherwise it feels like 'wasted time' and I get very bored

@Solo have you found any charity shops to donate to? The ones near me are still asking for donations, a couple are open although the majority aren't. I've only got about three bags at the moment, when I have more - after I tackle the mammoth task that is the loft! - I'll arrange a collection.

How are you feeling now @LaneBoy? I finally had a call from the nursery nurse and went through the questionnaire with her, which was a relief; she's been really good actually and spoke to DS1's school too. He's in the 'keep an eye on' zone, she said she'll give me a call again in September time before his care is handed over to the school nurse. Of course who knows what will be going on by then anyway with our schools?!

I had a really good tidying day on Saturday, DP took the DC out and I cracked on, got loads done. My big bugbear is the kitchen and it was the last thing on my 'to do' list, just didn't have time to get there! Hoping to finish it this week and that will be a big load off my mind. Then I can start job hunting properly...

Hiya. Bit better emotionally now thank you (did meet up with a friend last week too which was lovely) but am now in a big ME flare. I’d forgotten what this level of fatigue can be like 😳🤔 will catch up properly later. Needless to say I have no decluttering to report!

Sorry to hear about your ME flare up @LaneBoy. Hope you manage to rest and are feeling better very soon!

Far too hot for me. I'm hoping to find the energy to finish the horrific job that is the kitchen soon...

@LaneBoy are you feeling any better?
I'm awaiting a telephone pre OP for my upcoming hernia/core repair, but realistically I don't know how I can shield for 14 days especially as the pubs are opening soon and I won't see OH for dust!
I have managed to put away my last load of laundry, but tbh it was a very small task as I'd been wearing most of it straight from the rack
But I've got a fresh basket to go away so that's my Herculean task today
Hope you all have a good day

@cherrytree63 I had three days' worth of washing to put away today. It was not fun!

Did you get a date yet for your op? My DB was due to have an op soon but it's been delayed for another few months, partly as he'll have to be in hospital for a good while, and partly because the hospital he's going into has had a large number of coronavirus cases. They're hoping to keep delaying it until (hopefully!) the case numbers drop.

Hope you are ok @LaneBoy and @Solo!

Today I finished cleaning the kitchen floor. A very boring achievement but I'm quite proud

It's a real load off my mind actually, I feel like now I can crack on with some procrastinating on Mumsnet job hunting and batch cooking.

Hope everyone has had a good day and not melted!!

Hi. I’ve not been on here for ages. I’ve been really tidying and decluttering this last three weeks and I’m hoping to keep on top of it all this time! My pattern seems to be get on top of some rooms then flap about being useless for a couple of months and have to start from scratch. I go through phases of buying storage and hoping that will magically offer solutions, but then still flounder!

Anyway we’ve saved up to get air conditioning. We live in Australia. And we’ll need to get quotes and I’m sure they’ll need to look in all the rooms so I’ve really been focused on clearing up, tidying and chucking stuff out. I’ve been grateful for the lockdown in the sense that I’ve managed to tackle somethings that had been ignored.

We can boom curb side collection from the council for junk, it’s great. For months I wanted to do it. I’d get an idea of what could go and then other things would take priority. And the kids would make such a fuss if I said we were getting rid of card board boxes! They have fun making dens with them. Anyway I booked a collection and managed to make a big pile of boxes, a broken bookshelf and other broken things. Just trying to really think of anything awkward to get rid of and putting it out. What a lovely relief when it got collected! We’re allowed to have 6 collections annually. I didn’t realize how easy it was. I’ve done it three times so far. It’s a weight lifted from my shoulders. The garage is much emptier now and I’m glad. I honestly only got rid of genuine junk, things broken and boxes that had gotten ripped. And I’ll be honest we ordered some new shelves and other online shopping and of course we ended up with hundreds of boxes. I’m terrible for putting them in the garage and that’s where they live for years, but I just ordered another curb side collection and they were gone!

I filled bags of trash. Broken toys and wrecked or used sticker books. Things get out into book shelves and you don’t realize they’re junk until you get sorting.

I bought plastic drawers for the kids and organised their clothes into them. I got myself two sets and filled them up. I’ve been doddering around for two years unsure where to put my socks and night clothes and other bits that need folding up. I had thing’s pilled on a chair!

Anyway I’ve tidied up and sorted so much and I’m happy! And I hope I can keep on top of things!

I’ve got a huge laundry pile that needs sorting. My dh has hundreds of t shirts and I want to whittle them down to a more manageable 7 or so. I won’t throw any away I just have an aim to bag some up and hide them away in a cupboard for a few weeks to see if it makes the laundry pile more manageable!

I myself have thrown away a pair of baggy pajama bottoms with a hole in that were mine. I can really have a mind block with throwing out clothes that are useless.

The other day I needed staples, a few weeks back I would have had to buy some because I’d never have been able to track some down. But I’ve been putting stationary on one bookshelf recently and thankfully knew where to look for the staples. Honestly I must keep it up!

Good vibes to everyone.

Hiya down!

Not caught up yet, thank you for the kind words, flare up is still here and I’m getting quite sick of it. With DH suffering a lot too, we are barely getting the basics done.

Been doing a bit more digital decluttering when I have the headspace (just deleting emails and that sort of thing but the mental space gained is far more than the megabytes IYSWIM.

I’m getting to the stage where I am itching to clear some space again especially in our room as I get so frustrated but I know that it’ll have to be just shoving stuff in the cupboard in boxes. I haven’t got the energy to go through bags of bits and pieces at the moment. But I must cling onto the fact that I have definitely made progress in lockdown, we are nowhere near done and the place is still a mess but when I think about all the stuff that has left the house or got tidied I know we have achieved a bit.

Incidentally down we couldn’t find staples today. Found both staplers (a normal sized one and the mini one I’d bought when we couldn’t find the first), but both are now empty having stapled what we needed, and I’m pretty sure the box of staples is in one of those boxes of random crap we did find a random stick of staples but that was for the staple gun 🤦‍♀️

^microcosm of LaneBoy World

Hope the decluttering is still going well @DownUdderer! Do any of your local charity shops take clothes for rags? Ours do (plus odd shoes, belts etc) and make some money out of them, it might help you get round the "I don't want to throw it out" mentality if you think it's going to do some good for the charity?

I'm desperate to clear some boxes from the DC's bedroom @LaneBoy, but I can only do that by moving them into the loft, and the loft needs decluttering first... it's like house Jenga! To be fair I was doing well with the loft till lockdown and the hell of homeschooling hope you are feeling better soon anyway.

Hope you are doing ok too @Solo, @cherrytree63 and @Prettybluepigeons

Thanks ruby :) we’ve tried to make it a much easier week and that’s helped, I did pick a few things to get rid of though so I’m pleased to have still moved forward a tiny bit.

I see it as like a Rubik’s cube, sorting out one bit and messing up another in the process!

Argh. Seeing the results of clutter today as I noticed ants coming into the downstairs loo (hole by the window, think it was from the blinds the previous tenant had up) - windowsill was cluttered and I just feel a bit overwhelmed by it even though it was easily sorted.

I don’t feel like our house is very homely at all. The clutter gets in the way for sure! There’s a lot less than before we moved for sure but that doesn’t stop me stressing about it (and about not being able to find stuff) and we’ve lived here 2 years now and in some ways we’ve not really made it ours. We had 10 years in the previous place and weren’t allowed to do anything really, but here is a HA property and we are allowed to do what we want. But we haven’t!

Urggghhh, ants are awful @LaneBoy. We had them coming in round the front door frame a couple of years ago I got the pest control chap round and he sprayed some stuff round to treat it, but did warn me that they'll come back, it only takes a nice hot summer to get them on the move

I like your Rubik's cube analogy by the way! I was never much good at that or Tetris, maybe that's why I can never get the house sorted?! We only have two weeks left of school and I can't see any way I'll have time to clear the loft out before that; I could also do with a few hours to do another good clean before there's six weeks of relentlessness...

Speaking of which, I'm hoping to give the DCs to PIL separately to look after rather than together from now on. Don't get me wrong, I'd really appreciate time on my own without both of them, but PIL are finding it increasingly difficult to have both at the same time and I'm still unhappy about FIL saying that he doesn't really like DTS1 to be fair, two 4 year olds are a handful, and PIL are in their 70s now - their older DGC are 15, 25 and 30, so they were much younger when they looked after them. I'm just trying now to think of things that I could do separately with the DC - swimming would be a good one but sadly not at the moment!

What are your plans for your new(ish!) home LaneBoy?

Not sure really. I’m a bit worried about the in between bit where we are gradually changing things, I’m not good with change! I want somewhere warm and cosy, lots of rugs and cushions, I’ve never actually bought a cushion for the living room! Because I always felt you should wait until it’s decorated.

We definitely want to change the table, we’ve never actually bought one and the current one we swapped, while it is bigger (family were downsizing) and a better shape for us, it’s really flimsy and I hate it. So something solid and sturdy is important to us.

Also lots of plants. I have always said, since we first saw the house, that once Cagletini is properly out of the buggy I will buy some MASSIVE house plants for the hallway - it’s a big space and opens up the house, I would love some plants in beautiful bright pots, but it would be impractical now so it’s something to look forward to!

It’s really made me think, too, about what stuff actually represents who I am right now. As in, I was really getting my identity back before lockdown, I was exercising, I had two different courses on the go, I was going out to see friends or just wandering round town and even sitting in a pub on my own with a book or some writing, and I was doing lots of drawing too. Lockdown has removed a lot of that - my entire life seems to be about decluttering and home ed now - and it’s really dented my confidence again so I’m not really sure “who I am” and therefore what kind of house would represent me.

On the plus side it has given me a topic for a blog post so that might force me to actually write something soon 🤣

In the meantime though I’d best get back to my course (just a futurelearn one that I need to finish before getting on with my counselling skills qualification) as studying is one thing that should help especially if it guides me more towards a career. I just took a break to ease my brain a bit!

Your decision re babysitting sounds sensible. I’m so sorry they are playing favourites 😰

Hello everyone, not much change at my end. I did tidy and Hoover my bedroom and I've got in the habit of straightening my duvet when I get up. I have no nets upstairs and people have moved into the new build across the road and I worry they can see in and will judge me
I've had my MRSA swabs and should hear soon about a date for the OP, but I'll still have to have the Covid test even though I'm shielding.
I'm determined to use the 14 days to get my house tidy and sparkling clean!
OH is moving into his workshop for the 14 days, and he'll have to knuckle down and clean the kitchen and downstairs bathroom when he uses them.
My laundry procrastination has now spread to the paperwork, I have a pile of receipts for when I forgot/ lost my loyalty cards to add the points, and a heap of letters and bills to sort out.
So sick of being like this, I just want to not feel ashamed if someone knocks on the door, to come home to a house that smells pleasant and is reasonably tidy and clean. I'd also like my health back and the motivation and energy that I used to have.
Hope everyone is ok, and feeling more positive than me!