#4 - Hoarding, Sorting, Organising, Friendship, Understanding. All On One Thread.

[Solo]

Are you a hoarder? Are you in a mess, untidy, disorganised? A bit lazy with housework? Are you are ill and not coping with the housework? Are you totally overwhelmed? Are you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason and can't let them go? Are you unable to just ask someone in for a cuppa at a moments notice or do dread the meter reader asking for access?
Do you find yourself nodding whilst reading any of this? If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please come and join us. There is no judging. We have something in common here and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small. We cheer one another along and drag the drowners from the depths of despair.

Join us; we don't bite! Welcome to thread number 4.

Dh didn't use to come home till 7pm (he has only worked from home for last 6 years) and the minute he walked in, I would dump all three on him. I don't think he found it much fun tbh, after a long commute. At least he didn't have to give them supper or wash up though that was always over by the time he came in...Then I would cook a second supper. What was I thinking???

well, today I have gone backwards. The dog has been helpfully shredding Amazon boxes for me and in a very hyper mood, barking and whining to do various fun things which don't involve waiting patiently for me to move bits of furniture around I've googled a lot of fireplaces including very cheap ones from Amazon...who would have thought it..you can buy imitation beams from there I never knew..
But then in time honoured hoarder fashion realised I had no room to put a fireplace cos the existing shelf is too low, and couldn't possibly move it, cos it was far too wasteful to get rid of a perfectly good shelf..[aargh] Making decisions is not my strong point.

Looking at the [utopian] Gallery fireplace catalogue reminds me how very unlike the catalogue my living room looks.. All that space and elegantly empty walls with one strategic and poised artwork..and one simple orange armchair.

another exhausting morning moving stuff in and out and trying to catch up with the normal stuff too (like washing kitchen floor)

however, on a more positive note. I have hoovered my bedroom (that took about a month since I mentioned it last)
I've cleaned the bathroom
I've washed lots of clothes
I've had a good convo with dh about the study. where fur and feathers didn't fly and he had a good suggestion or two
he has decluttered some of his books - two plastic bags full
dog walk - very pretty autumn scene

My kitchen floor is still not washed Nettle

On a positive note here too, I had a lovely long lunch with a friend whilst the DTs were with PIL! Haven't done that for ages and ages. DP ended up being off too - he works contracts and it was cancelled on the day - and we got the DTs' bedroom moved round and tided up. It still needs a bit doing and some decorating but looks much much better.

I love dog walks (on nice days!) too - however we only have a very boring cat - hence why I've volunteered to help out with local dog walking. A friend has just bought some guinea pigs and offered us a couple of babies..... the DTs are very keen, me not so much!

I need another quiet, child free day and perhaps my house will finally be organised....

Have you read the cat thread on AIBU? I have been snorting with laughter all over the dog who is sound asleep . We have three cats I used to walk someone else's dog it was a good introduction to dog lore!

Fantastic you both managed to deal with dts' bedroom.

Halloween tomorrow...ds2 was rummaging in the loft for the fancy dress, only to be told that the entire fancy dress section had been rationalised and was in fact in his bedroom in ONE DRAWER (just the wigs and the fangs and one big purple cape) I don't think he noticed that drawer before - his room is quite a muddle. Lots of books on Russia mingled with old toast crusts. I really have stopped trying to sort his room anymore I just dump the clean clothes in there...

Guinea pig babies...how sweet!

Hi everyone, just discovered this thread and it looks like exactly what I need, hope it’s ok to join! I’ve already been in tears this morning over the state of the house, it’s really awful :( the worst is our bedroom, which feels like it’ll never be sorted. I suffer from MH issues quite badly and am doing quite an intensive masters and have a 19 month old DD, and I just feel overwhelmed.

I would really like my bedroom to be a nice place to be by Xmas.

riot it is horrible feeling...I've been there and I still can get very overwhelmed quite easily by feelings of despair about the house, and feeling judged over it.
First step is stop judging yourself or letting the thought of others' judgement cloud your priorities.
If your dd is fed, and can sleep in a cosy bed and there are sufficient clean clothes (never mind ironed or fashionable) to get you both out of the house in one piece and keep warm, you are already doing a good job.
What time do you have to tackle the house? If none, and Masters and Dd are first priority then just stick to the basics, rubbish out, pile clutter in corner, clean dishes, easy food/ready meals/freezer meals (peas, oven chips and a fried egg are as nutritious as "proper meals" if you add in a tomato and a raw carrot)
Instead of trying to do your whole room, just pull cover up and pile stuff in the corner without sorting and hoover. Then when you have the chance you can tackle the clothes/stuff/changing sheets bit by bit.
Be kind to yourself, and make sure you get outside, my house is a tip at the moment but getting out first thing with the newish dog (insert toddler) makes things seem less awful. It really is a tonic although it feels there is no time to fit it in. I think toddlers had the same beneficial effect on me, when they went to school all day my mental health declined, cos there was no longer any particular reason to go for a proper walk/park first thing.
Also don't forget the Vit D3. I am taking 2000 iu a day for last few years - it is making such a difference to my health and happiness.

Okay, deep breath. today I have cleared two table mats off table, am about to shake out the Sunday Lunch tablecloth (very yuk) have put a wash on, moved a pair of shoes in teh right direction and played a lot with the dog who is being quite tiresome and demanding. I rolled up a plastic bottle in a tea towel and knotted both ends and he seemed to like that, but there doesn't seem to be time to go to the pet shop and buy a proper chew (he demolished last one) as there is so much else to do! Vicious circle, it reminds me of how it was with my little ones, they interrupted me so much I could never get the things done which would have made life easier to deal with them!!!

However, I am feeling confident today, that if I can just stay calm I will make a bit of progress.

riot it took me about 12 years to finish my bedroom curtains. We were looking at blackout blinds for 12 years! Finally I sewed them. They look great. Then next two years were spent getting stuff out from under the bed and keeping it clear under there. Then I had a policy of regular dusting and clearing high surfaces in there, and reduced the things on show (shoved them in drawers, decluttered at another time) Slowly slowly it became the bedroom I wanted to be in. But it took a lot of time, cos priority was always to change sheets and get washing down and up again and I would always run out of steam before tackling any big issues in there. I do understand.

managed to fit in the dog purchases, dog now occupied with nice bone/yak chew and has had another little walk
ordered some clothes so that I have some winter clothes that fit.
the paint for the cupboards has arrived (they sent the wrong colour last week and had to pick up and send new batch)
defrosted supper ingredients
shook out tablecloth/cleared table
dw

Thank you for the support @Nettleskeins :) there’s more time now that I’m off placement but it’s all still pretty busy. Ive set aside tomorrow morning to do some cleaning, the bathroom needs a proper scrub!

Welcome @riotlady

Sorry for going AWOL for a bit; the DTs were hard work over half term and DTS2 was a particularly loathsome little toad on Friday. He even fell off the buggy at one point and I had zero sympathy as I'd told him till I was blue in the face to stop messing around. And then he fell off the trampoline during his lesson and broke his arm oh the mum guilt!! We had to stay in hospital for a couple of days whilst he was operated on, he's home now with a big cast but full of grumbles and not sleeping well. The house could do with a good clean after half term but no chance of that with him demanding all the attention.....

Vicious circle, it reminds me of how it was with my little ones, they interrupted me so much I could never get the things done which would have made life easier to deal with them!!!

This really struck a chord with me @Nettleskeins!!

Ruby you poor thing Ds1 broke his wrist and then his leg and then his wrist again (another place) over four years and he had ops for two breaks. It is really tough (pins etc), but I can honestly say it made him doubly precious (I was so relieved he hadnt' landed on his head ) and I ended up spending some lovely months with him out of school when he was 9 after he broke his femur. Don't forget the Vitamin D, ds was found several years later to be vitamin d deficient but no one mentioned this to me at the time.

But hopefully a broken arm with heal very quickly, so it is really just a pain [for all concerned]at this stage, and it is definitely a rite of passage so no mum guilt please. Ds1 is now 19 and just rang me to say he had fallen on his face at uni practising Grease for a performance with a society and kept saying how relieved he was he hadn't broken something! At least he is safe is all I can say...I think we jsut ended up laughing about it.

Good day today, I got 5 enormous sacks of refuse from garden and bins to the dump, as dustbin men didn't come last week, and I thought I would use the opportunity to do a tip run for garden stuff.

House chugging along grime-ily but we are surviving.

Oh blimey Nettle, your DS really went through it!! Yes, it's horrible seeing my poor little boy with a big cast on, but he could easily have damaged his head/ neck/ back/ face, which would have been far trickier to deal with. He seems a bit better today and has done the school run with us tucked up in his buggy, and there is certainly nothing wrong with his moaning abilities.....

Spending all my time running round after him and/ or keeping DTS1 entertained and away from him though! The kitchen floor is filthy but I have no inclination time to clean it. DTS2 isn't sleeping well either which doesn't help, I'm exhausted every morning and then it's time to get up and get DTS1 to school

Healthy eating has definitely gone by the wayside. I am so tired that the thought of cooking is just a step too far!

waiting for dd to come home from a party..hence late post.
Had a very good day today sorting out tv room. The utility room is now completely stuffed full of crapola but still...
So we have clear surfaces, clear desk, camping stuff in cupboard which is also clothes cupboard [downstairs - no room in our bedroom for my clothes ) hoovered floor and lots of books and dvds removed from the room. Sofa has clean throw on it. Picture on wall changed to one the right colour (moved from hall and replaced existing) Ds2 said it looked good. Have decided cupboard doesn't need painting. It was just the mess that made me even think it necessary, but with mess gone, room looks bright and fresh.
A big bag of recycling too (mostly catalogues)

ruby every night cooking fills me with dread. I have a vegetable box that helps somewhat. At least there are fewer decisions, although it has to be said that not many people like red cabbage (me and dh do tho, and ds2 eats it raw ) or parsnips or kale. dd will eat kale fried with garlic and chilli!

swept under the sofa and very conveniently found the Christmas cake tin (Square) with some old bits of tiles in it fgs the hoarding!!!! And of course the wretched tin has no bottom bit, but I still put it back in the cake tin section in case I needed it for making an imaginary Xmas cake (that I never make)

Tomorrow I will press on again.

yesterday I spent a fair amount of time just pottering around putting things in the right places (this is in the already sorted rooms i hasten to add, there aren't any right places in the unsorted rooms ) it was a nice feeling putting scissors back in the scissor drawer, books back in the emptier shelves etc.

Then I tackled the utility and just slogged through it moving piles of stuff and cleaning under the piles. Rationalising although a lot didn't get thrown, seemed to make a lot of extra space. Threw out 3 large cardboard boxes stuff was taking root in, and reduced bulk down that way. Washed various towels and mats that otherwise had disappeared into the wreckage and were sadly missed upstairs.

The utility floor is still unswept though. I am looking forward to that The hoover has gone upstairs again, and so has the dustpan, so it will have to wait till I can find the enthusiasm. Cleared away several bowls and started reusing proper dog and cat bowls that I rediscovered in the piles. And a useful saucepan lid that had gone AWOL.

Go Nettle!!

Cleared out, cleaned up and tidied all of the cupboard under the kitchen sink. I don't really need to buy any laundry stuff, Vanish, Oxi wash, cleaning stuff, stain remover, carpet cleaner for about 20 years! (slight exaggeration but, only slight!

Brilliant! Under my kitchen sink, in the same vein, there is a lot of shoe polish. We never polish our shoes, but I still keep it. Dd finally used the Vanish - that took about 6 years to come in useful from when I bought it. Sometimes I just feel I should throw it all away.... The pet deodoriser/stain thingy does come in handy though

A friend and I helped another friend do some decluttering in her kitchen today. So easy for someone else. We managed to take out 4 big bags of books, and china/vases. I could see it was hard for her, I think making the decision is never easy. I also noticed how easy it was for us to say, why do you need that and that, and how hard it is when you are the person who has an idea of what the thing represents (ie extra coffee cups for 20 people equals the dinner we are planning to give when the house is tidy...tho of course without giving away the cups, the house is never tidy enough to have people over...it is a bit of vicious circle isnt it) I came away with two new books and two useful items - it reminded me of how these things will all find good homes.

I think that just highlights how my brain is wired to be chaotic, I never thought of starting at the beginning I blame Flylady and her annoying sink... which for some reason is the beginning in my mind, yet I never tackled that sink successfully or got further than shining the sink (at which point I would usually give up)

Another friend mentioned to me the starting at the corner of a room, not looking anywhere except proceeding step by step to clean it, moving inch by inch around. I think it sounds a brilliant approach - as it stops a lot of the having to make decisions and not making them etc etc etc. Mind you, if there is only time to do essentials and have small children limited time then it doesn't work, as you are left with nothing else finished except half a corner...

Today has been good. I pottered around in the house putting things away and it is easier than before. Nuff said.
And had time to go and help a relative with her garden, which incentivizes me to see my own garden in a different more utilitarian result..sweeping and clearing always works wonders.

I have brass door "furniture" and did once use the Brasso but I'm leaving that for when I've got a bit further with the main framework ahem.. like the piles of boxes and debris on the front door step..and the leaves in the front garden. Brasso will be a treat in comparison.