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Housekeeping

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Original poster

DH has done ALL of the washing... FFS

149 replies

Lottalove · 03/03/2019 20:27

Today, after I put in 1 load of washing, DH decided to randomly take over and empty the entire contents of the laundry baskets and do 5 loads of washing and drying himself.

He knows it pisses me off when he impulsively washes clothes and leaves them in piles for ME to put away.

So he's put away 2 of the loads and claims he'll put the rest away after work tomorrow.

He won't.

And the clothes will crease up as they wait...

I have 2 young DCs at home and plans to go out tomorrow so I definitely will not have time to put it all away. It's all kids stuff too and will take forever! We have classes on Tuesday and so I know I won't get chance to put it away until Wednesday inbetween entertaining the kids.

I've told him I'm annoyed. He says I'm unreasonable and most women would be delighted that he's taken on the entire washing and drying for the whole house in one day.

Would you be delighted?

OP posts:

mrsm43s · 04/03/2019 13:39

*No he WON'T finish it MrsM.

As usual. He will SAY he will but he WON'T.*

So ignore it, or remind him until he does, or address this issue with him. I wouldn't accept someone not doing what they'd promised. That would be the issue I would deal with, not bollocking them for doing some much needed washing.

You are fighting the wrong battle.

There is nothing wrong with him doing 5 loads of washing and drying.
There is nothing wrong with him putting 2 loads away.
There is nothing wrong with him leaving 3 loads til the following day.
Your "system" does not trump his way of doing things.
You do not have to re-do stuff he has done, or finish things he has started.

Youngandfree · 04/03/2019 13:41

My hubby knows not to touch the laundry 😂😂 he can do anything and everything else....laundry =NO! 😂😂

Mixedupmummy · 04/03/2019 13:41

yanbu op. Velcro babies and toddlers are hard work.I get the rage when people (dh, dm, the cleaner) mess with my washing system. it just makes more work for me. and don't get me started on when they load the dishwasher. I wish that I was joking but I'm not. probably a good thing my maternity leave finishes in 2 weeks 🤪

PCohle · 04/03/2019 13:50

So tell him to finish it?

Get ALL CAPS angry with him rather than strangers on the internet.

Sophiathefortyfirst · 04/03/2019 13:56

My DH's idea of 'doing the washing' is getting together a massive load of things like odd socks from the bottom of the basket, usually with something fragile of mine in there too that needs a hand wash. He then washes it all and just leaves it in the washing machine.

I've started getting it out now and dumping it in the middle of the kitchen floor for him to dry/put away.

RogueV · 04/03/2019 13:58

Really? You are unable to put the laundry away? Seriously it’s not going to take you that long 😂

Mixedupmummy · 04/03/2019 14:06

*RogueV

Really? You are unable to put the laundry away? Seriously it’s not going to take you that long*

not a very nice or helpful comment. how do you know how long it will take the op? seemingly minor tasks can feel unachievable with 2 little people at your feet; one crying to be held and the other into everything pulling things out of where you've just put them. I'm a very capable professional person but with 3 kids including a baby and toddler I've given up trying to put laundry away with them around and can't do anything more than heat food up without getting very stressed at the moment. I'm sure when they're a bit bigger I will be able to do more again but in the meantime I have come up with ways of coping and don't like people to interfere with my system.

SlangBack · 04/03/2019 14:07

Doesn't compare to cooking 7 meals though does it? Unless you're just banging 7 meals into a microwave

Well it does.

He banged 7 loads in the washing machine - not hard.

Then he banged 7 loads in the tumble drier - not hard, but expensive.

Now it needs to be put away.

Like if he made 7 meals & put all the pans & dishes away after.

Bish, Bash, Bosh.

fatbottomgirl12 · 04/03/2019 14:16

I get it ! I have 5 DC so endless washing, but its not the washing thats the shit bit, we can all do that. Its ironing and putting it away. My DH does ALL the washing then leaves it unfolded on the sofas like some fucking fairy will sort ot out. And he loves to tell everyone he does all the washing !

Yabbers · 04/03/2019 14:26

LTB

How dare he do laundry not exactly the way you insist he does it.

Yabbers · 04/03/2019 14:32

If we are going to go to work and be responsible for the home then we need to up our standards when it comes to our expectations of the men who reside with us.

We?

OH does his fair share including cooking every night.

OH sometimes leaves baskets of washing lying about for a week instead of putting them away. If it bothers me I'll put it away.

Some of us are happy to have a 50/50 share of chores and don't run a military operation with systems which must be adhered to otherwise wrath will descend.

Running a house should be a partnership where both adults contribute, OH isn't a child who must follow my rules or else.

pastabest · 04/03/2019 14:39

Exactly Mixedupmummy all the people sneering that it won't take that long for the OP to put away all the washing (although why the fuck should she) have clearly never had to put away 5 loads of washing with a toddler and a baby present.

I can just about get away with doing one load of washing and even then it takes twice as long as the toddler 'helps' by unfolding everything as quickly as I can fold it and the baby needs constant changes of toy/snack/other to keep them happy.

Put it it away during their naps you say? Well it would be lovely if they napped at the same time, they don't, so I've always got one of them hanging about and the other one upstairs where all the clothes need putting into drawers/wardrobes etc. You don't realise how noisy clothes hangers are until you try using one with a sleeping child in the room.

Anyway OP, I'm waiting with baited breath for your update later where he has miraculously ironed and folded all the laundry into appropriate piles and put it all away.

ineedaholidaynow · 04/03/2019 14:55

I am assuming he won't iron them as OP doesn't iron them.

And if it is so difficult to put away with the children hanging off you, then isn't it better to work as a team, with one looking after the children whilst the other puts away. Which hopefully will happen when DH comes in. Or DH can look after the children and OP can put them away, especially as she appears to have a specific way of doing it

ineedaholidaynow · 04/03/2019 22:42

Did he end up putting the washing away OP?

RagingWhoreBag · 04/03/2019 22:46

WTF?! I'd be delighted if my DP sorted, washed and dried 5 loads of washing and all I had to do was sort into piles and put away.

It's like cooking 7 different meals in one day and then washing a few pots but still leave OP with two sink fulls of pots and pans to wash. And again, fucking fantastic! Not having to think about, prepare or cook for a whole week, just do one big load of washing up and you're done.

You lot don't know you're born! Being a single mum of 3 for the last 7 years, doing all of the washing and drying and folding and sorting, plus all of the prepping, cooking and washing up, either of these scenarios sound like bliss to me. Having someone to share the load, even if not in the exact way you might like them to, would be wonderful.

Admittedly when my DP visits and cooks me dinner, leaving me with all the tidying and washing up, its a bit of a PITA, however, I do appreciate the gesture and if he did a weeks worth of dinner in one go, I'd be ecstatic!

Magissa · 04/03/2019 22:55

In the time it took to write the post and the follow up posts, you could have at least folded it ready for putting away...

Magissa · 04/03/2019 22:59

Actually that was unfair of me... Sorry. Thinking back to when my 3 were under five folding laundry was the last thing on my mind.

I suppose he meant well!

BlueCornishPixie · 04/03/2019 23:01

So he did 5 loads of washing. You did one.
He's put half away and says he will do the other half tomorrow.

So you have 3 loads to put away? (Assuming he doesn't do it) Only 2 more than you would normally do (if you do one a day). If you didn't put any away that day, and you do one a day then you would normally put away 2 in that period. It's only an extra one load. Plus you have 5 less loads to put on. There's no way putting away 1 extra load of laundry is more work than 5 loads of washing. If you put away yours and dhs then you can leave the baby's stuff till the 3rd day and then it's just normal levels of work. Except less because you don't need to do a wash.

Maybe he gets frustrated that you leave 5 loads of washing? His system is no worse than yours. I think you sound very frustrated with him and are finding reasons to be pissed off.

BlueCornishPixie · 04/03/2019 23:02

If you normally do one wash a day, you would have 3 loads to put away by Wednesday and you have 3 loads to put away on Wednesday. And 5 loads less to do.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 04/03/2019 23:04

@RagingWhoreBag you don't know you're born either!!

My grandma woke up at 4, baked bread looked after two kids ,worked in the fields and with animals all day and didn't even have a washing machine! Grandpa's definition of cooking was cutting up some bread and cheese.

It's not a race to the bottom.

LittleDoritt · 04/03/2019 23:10

I'd be delighted. Maybe that makes me "fifties wife" but there it is.

PCohle · 04/03/2019 23:15

Well did he put it away today or not OP?

Snog · 07/03/2019 09:25

Yes i'd be delighted.
Putting clothes away doesn't take long and isn't onerous, I really can't see the issue here, if I were your DH I would be confused.

notsurewhatshappening · 07/03/2019 09:30

I have a permanent laundry mountain in my bedroom (clean, dry clothes that need to be put away). Once or twice a week I sort it all out and put it into the wardrobes. Tbh if DH did loads of washing I wouldn't mind unless he shrunk something. Don't care about creases- they drop out quickly anyway once they are being worn. OP I think you are being a bit precious- but I was the same as you with a baby and toddler. In the end I made myself ill with anxiety over perfectionism but that's another story.

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