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Original poster

DH has done ALL of the washing... FFS

149 replies

Lottalove · 03/03/2019 20:27

Today, after I put in 1 load of washing, DH decided to randomly take over and empty the entire contents of the laundry baskets and do 5 loads of washing and drying himself.

He knows it pisses me off when he impulsively washes clothes and leaves them in piles for ME to put away.

So he's put away 2 of the loads and claims he'll put the rest away after work tomorrow.

He won't.

And the clothes will crease up as they wait...

I have 2 young DCs at home and plans to go out tomorrow so I definitely will not have time to put it all away. It's all kids stuff too and will take forever! We have classes on Tuesday and so I know I won't get chance to put it away until Wednesday inbetween entertaining the kids.

I've told him I'm annoyed. He says I'm unreasonable and most women would be delighted that he's taken on the entire washing and drying for the whole house in one day.

Would you be delighted?

OP posts:
pastabest · 03/03/2019 21:21

gubbsywubbsy have you done that today whilst caring for a baby and a toddler at the same time? If nit then it's nit really comparable.

I could get shitloads done if I didn't have a baby and a toddler in tow. But I do, so I don't.

Original poster
Lottalove · 03/03/2019 21:23

Putting it in the washer and dryer is the easy part! If that's all it took, I'd gladly wash laundry all day. It's putting it away which most of the time, he then leaves to me!

I'd rather just do it myself as I know what I can/can't get done etc as currently exhasuted with the DCs.

OP posts:
YourSarcasmIsDripping · 03/03/2019 21:23

No one will care about creases on the baby,not even the baby.
And if the toddler is that much into everything they'll get creases,snot,dirt,paint all over them anyways.
(You said it was mostly the kid's stuff)

kateandme · 03/03/2019 21:23

i know this scene well.no ironing.just dumped in the done pile which gets higher and higher.and who has to do the ironing...

ErictheGuineaPig · 03/03/2019 21:25

I kind of get what you mean. I have a half a job Harry. He'll start a job without thinking through the next part. So he'll put a load of washing on at an awkward time when either he won't be around to shove it in the tumble drier or I won't really have time. Thereby forcing me into an extra little job I didn't want to do or into rewashing it because it just gets left in the washing machine until it stinks.

He'll do the dishwasher but never, ever wipe down the surfaces or table.

He'll do some DIY but won't clear his tools away.

It always feels churlish to complain - God knows I'm no Mrs Hunch - but it does annoy me.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 03/03/2019 21:25

No one.Grin

Riversguidebook · 03/03/2019 21:25

Blimey, that’s considerate of him.

Forget that he hasn’t done the task to your exacting standards

because you can’t cope with putting laundry away around looking after kids, your day out tomorrow and recreation classes,

but that he’s helping around the house doesn’t necessarily need to be praised, but genuine warm appreciation goes both ways, and would be appreciated both ways.

2ducks2ducklings · 03/03/2019 21:25

This drives me mad too. I iron everything before it gets put away so when my husband decides to wash every item of clothing in the house in one day, it means I'll have a bloody huge mountain of ironing and putting away to do. Let's face it, chucking the washing in the machine is the easy part of the process!

LittleMe03 · 03/03/2019 21:25

LTB....

Pass this comment on to your DH.

Massively unreasonable IMO

ineedaholidaynow · 03/03/2019 21:26

But OP doesn't do the ironing. DH has said he will put the clothes away tomorrow. OP can just wait until then.

Passmethecrisps · 03/03/2019 21:28

Honestly lotta just forget it.

Some people on here have very low standards, some have a lack of empathy and some are being a bit dicky I think as a woman shouldn’t have the audacity to complain as someone always has it worse.

On the rare occasions dh does it now I just roll with it. Our clothes end up creased and that’s fine. It doesn’t bother him and actually, it doesn’t bother me.

Next weekend though actually be very explicit with him and explain why you don’t want the laundry done. He won’t be deliberately being an arsehole so explain either do the complete job or don’t bother.

My dh takes the kids out to the park for a couple of hours usually on the weeks I have to catch up and actually that works in the end. Could you hold off folding a putting away for a week? Then next weekend explain he will need to take both kids for a wee while so you can get caught up?

averystrangeweek · 03/03/2019 21:30

I am dreaming of the day that it finally dawns on the other people in this house that they too can operate the washing machine.

At present I am on laundry strike. It has been nearly three weeks and the penny is yet to drop.

cariadlet · 03/03/2019 21:30

Where do you hang 5 loads of laundry on the same day? In the summer, maybe, but in this weather surely you need a Buckingham Palace-sized house and garden to put it all to dry? Or does everyone else have a tumble dryer and it goes straight from one to the other..

That's what I was wondering. We don't have a tumble dryer (use far too much electricity so bad for the environment and waste of money).

I like to do the laundry, because I keep an eye on how much is hanging on the airer/over radiators, how close to being dry it is and whether there's space to hang a fresh load of washing.

My bugbear is when I think it's all under control, I'm almost ready to put some more in the washing machine and dp walks into the house with a huge pile of dirty clothes that he's been stockpiling in his work van.

killpop · 03/03/2019 21:33

It's putting it away which most of the time, he then leaves to me!

Why does it take so long to put away kids clothes?

Maybe we could offer some solutions to making it easier?

PickAChew · 03/03/2019 21:34

If the stuff not put away is in a crumpled heap, then I understand your annoyance. If he's folded it but not sorted it (I do that as I take it out of the dryer) it's not the end of the world and you can let him sort it and put it away, as promised, tomorrow, and you can enjoy being ahead on the laundry.

I suspect that some of your reaction is a sleep deprived one.

Ooplesandbanoonoos · 03/03/2019 21:35

Yanbu
Putting away the clean washing is the worse part.
It always looks worse than it is though. If you have the energy child you both spend 5 minutes sorting into piles for each room tonight. And put away towels etc. It will look and feel much less stressful if you do that. I feel your pain here. I also have a system.

pastabest · 03/03/2019 21:35

But he won't put them away tomorrow. That's the point.

I think if you haven't experienced a partner like this it's difficult to understand.

I have regular conversations with my DP about my struggles to keep on top of the laundry, his response is:

'how hard is it to chuck stuff in the washing machine and the tumble drier through the day'

Me: 'well that's not the hard bit, the hard bit is putting it all away'

him: 'you are just making excuses, I bet I could get through it in a day'

Me 'yes I'm sure you could, if I look after the children whilst you do it and you don't get bored halfway through and abandon it for me to finish'

Him: goes ahead does all the washing, sorts half of it, gets bored and leaves me to do the rest. Proceeds to tell me forever more that it's completely possible to do all the washing in one day, as he has demonstrated, I'm just not being organised enough.

Fuck off Angry

StarlightIntheNight · 03/03/2019 21:35

I hate when DH does the laundry (I am happy for him to do his own...but leave the rest ALONE!). He thinks its acceptable to wash underwear and hand towels in the same load!!!!! And on 40 degree heat!

Justonemorepancake · 03/03/2019 21:35

What? It's a mountain of clean and dry laundry as opposed to a mountain of dirry laundry. You're now two steps ahead. I can't believe you'd complain about that. I'd be pissed off if I was your DH.

Ooplesandbanoonoos · 03/03/2019 21:36

Can not child

HoraceCope · 03/03/2019 21:36

it would annoy me,
plus i might have a pair of trousers that i plan to wash later in the week, and now have to wait for a pile

missmouse101 · 03/03/2019 21:38

I hate anyone messing with my laundry system.... just f. off and do something in the garden instead please.

PickAChew · 03/03/2019 21:40

A house full of condensation and mould and clothes that get a bit fusty because your mountain of laundry can't dry fast enough in your tiny house on a cold, wet February day is no less of an impact than using a dryer, imo.

Mould is unhealthy, the stuff needed to clean it up is pretty nasty and damp furnishings don't last as long.

butteryellow · 03/03/2019 21:41

Well, it got on one further than when my dp does it - he just does all the washing, and leaves it damp, heaped in the washing baskets (well, one load will often get dried, and left to crumple in the dryer)

I agree - whacking it through the machines is the easy part - the folding and putting away is the bit that takes for-bloody-ever - especially if you have a helpful toddler who undoes the neat piles as fast as you fold them.. (and no.. paring socks doesn't keep them distracted)

I think that what grates (if this were me) isn't that he's done it - but that he's only half done it. If he doesn't put it away tomorrow, I'd just pick your and the kids stuff out and leave his until he gets round to it - treat his stuff with the same care he's treated yours.

justilou1 · 03/03/2019 21:42

Mine bloody does that too. Then you get stinking, mouldy-smelly, wrinkly shit that you have to re-wash, AND a man that thinks he gets a fucking medal. ARGH!