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Original poster

DH has done ALL of the washing... FFS

149 replies

Lottalove · 03/03/2019 20:27

Today, after I put in 1 load of washing, DH decided to randomly take over and empty the entire contents of the laundry baskets and do 5 loads of washing and drying himself.

He knows it pisses me off when he impulsively washes clothes and leaves them in piles for ME to put away.

So he's put away 2 of the loads and claims he'll put the rest away after work tomorrow.

He won't.

And the clothes will crease up as they wait...

I have 2 young DCs at home and plans to go out tomorrow so I definitely will not have time to put it all away. It's all kids stuff too and will take forever! We have classes on Tuesday and so I know I won't get chance to put it away until Wednesday inbetween entertaining the kids.

I've told him I'm annoyed. He says I'm unreasonable and most women would be delighted that he's taken on the entire washing and drying for the whole house in one day.

Would you be delighted?

OP posts:
JaneEyre07 · 03/03/2019 20:40

Dear God, I'd jump up and down and throw a party if DH worked out how to use the washing machine let alone the dryer.

I'd have put it all away gladly knowing I hadn't had to do it all .... and waited for my bath until I'd done it.

DrWhy · 03/03/2019 20:42

Oh and I’ve had some success with getting the toddler to match socks into pairs for me while I flap each garment above the baby and tell her about it before folding it, sling might work better than that with reflux baby. It’s blinking difficult to get washing in and out of the machine with a baby in a sling but folding should be doable.

Strongenoug3 · 03/03/2019 20:42

Are there seriously so many women operating such a low bar that a man doing a few loads of washing would leave them delighted? Hmm

YANBU OP. Leave them there till he puts them away.

Original poster
Lottalove · 03/03/2019 20:42

I'm sorry your DH's don't seem to do their fair share.

Mine sometimes tries to but I'm often left to finish the job, whether it be cooking a meal, the online food shop etc, which is probably where my frustration lies.

OP posts:
Passmethecrisps · 03/03/2019 20:43

I am not sure if this is the same issue.

Mostly I take on the washing. I do it over the weekend - wash, dry, fold into piles according to item and wearer then put away. When dh does it he drags each load out of the dryer and dumps it into the basket. So it all lies there hot and creasing. It also never ever gets put away as he can’t fold. Sometimes he drags it out onto the utility room floor so it lies there on the dirty floor.

We share the load for our family really evenly. In fact I would say he does considerably more than I do.

In this one instance I would really rather be just left it to me as it fucks with my system.

Is that the same issue, OP? It’s not lack of gratitude of a job getting done but rather a lack of understanding the bigger picture

Original poster
Lottalove · 03/03/2019 20:44

Im in bed by 9pm Janeeyre with a baby who wakes frequently during the night so my 1 bath per week won't wait unfortunately.

OP posts:
Jamhandprints · 03/03/2019 20:45

I'd be stunned and delighted if ANYONE cleared my laundry pile. -Or did anything useful-.
Yes, I hate having a clean mountain to put away and hate when the schoolshirts get smooshed but I'd rather that than piles of dirty stuff.

ineedaholidaynow · 03/03/2019 20:46

So if he is cooking why do you have to finish it?

Thequaffle · 03/03/2019 20:48

Why can’t he fold it and put it away? It can’t be more than 15 mins work all told. Wtf.

Original poster
Lottalove · 03/03/2019 20:48

Absolutely passmethecrisps.
And I don't iron so creased clothes means we all get to walk around looking awful.

OP posts:
yearinyearout · 03/03/2019 20:51

You're a family of four, you really can't have that much laundry that it's going to take hours to put away. Also, assuming he's folded it, it isn't going to get any more creased just from him leaving it until tomorrow to put away surely?

mrsm43s · 03/03/2019 20:52

I really don't see the problem.

I do the washing and drying (on the line/airer not in a tumbler), and I leave it folded in piles by person on the spare room bed. I put my own away, and DH puts away his and the children.

I often do multiple loads in a day (although never 5 as I wouldn't let that many build up).

Just fold the clothes and leave his on the end of the bed for him to put away, put your own away, and leave the children's folded in the basket to put away tomorrow. Will take you 10 mins tonight, and 10 mins tomorrow. Or ask DH to do it. Having a shower rather than a bath would easily make the time (and more) up. Or do it while DH finishes up cooking dinner.

Livedandlearned · 03/03/2019 20:53

My dh is off work atm and so I've been coming home from work to a pile of clean but creased clothes dumped on the sofa.

category12 · 03/03/2019 20:55

Why doesn't he finish the job and put it all away?

Passmethecrisps · 03/03/2019 20:56

I don’t iron either. I have weird little habits with laundry which a wouldn’t expect anyone else to do ( I hang eldest DD’s school uniform in complete sets including tights and knickers - I likely has no actual value but it makes me feel good about the week ahead.) Therefore have a complete system. It knackers it all up and takes me longer if he dips in.

He has jobs I leave well alone as well as it is annoying and I get in the way.

Being a team is taking responsibility for your own things and ensuring jobs get done without having to be asked. That doesn’t necessarily mean taking over someone else’s usual thing and leaving it half done while expecting a head pat

killpop · 03/03/2019 20:59

It takes minutes to put away a pile of laundry. Poor fucking you, someone doing the bulk of it.

Passmethecrisps · 03/03/2019 20:59

I don’t get this.

So op should have a shower rather than a bath to finish off a job her dh started and has left incomplete and which will take her longer during the week. And all the while she should be grateful?

She has a system which works for her. For no particular reason (op please don’t now drip feed that you have begged him to do the laundry) he has done a version of the job and left her to finish the rest.

Surely people see that is annoying. She isn’t asking if she should leave the bastard but rather be slightly miffed

BumbleBeee69 · 03/03/2019 20:59

chucking laundry into a washing machine and a tumble dryer does not equate the process of folding and putting away the laundry, he did the easy bit, and expects credit, tell him to finish the process. Hmm

ememem84 · 03/03/2019 21:00

Dh has done the same today. Laundry is done. And left sitting in a heap on the spare bed.

I don’t care though. Because it’s done. Tomorrow after work I’ll sort into different piles and will put away.

It is a pain as now we have laundry mountain. But it’s a temporary feature. And it meant I didn’t have to do it. Wahoo

nicenewdusters · 03/03/2019 21:00

Two sets of adults clothes, two sets of small childrens clothes. Nothing ironed. How on earth can it be such a massive task to put it away? Do you live in a huge castle with enormous furniture where you have to climb ladders to reach the drawers?

I agree with a pp, this sounds like a bigger sense of dissatisfaction with your DH.

ineedaholidaynow · 03/03/2019 21:02

But she should just make him put it away. Put it on his side of the bed so he has to put it away!

WhiteHandle · 03/03/2019 21:02

Just fold it and put it into piles now, surely? Then pop it in your children's drawers in the morning. Can you really not figure this out?

HennyPennyHorror · 03/03/2019 21:03

DH and I had all sorts of laundry rows....we do it differently. So in the end we decided he'd be responsible for all bedding and towels plus his own gear and I'd do mine and the DC's stuff.

Works like a dream. He's pedantic about the folding of things...so his stuff and the sheets/towels are folded beautifully whilst I'm free to manage mine and the DC's things but I still benefit from his lovely folding of towels! We go through a LOT of towels as we live in Oz so someone's always swimming or showering...it's hot here/

Nanalisa60 · 03/03/2019 21:04

Get rid of him!! He sounds a terrible husband before you know it he will start to clean the house and doing food shopping and cooking!! How dare he!!

I think I’ve heard it all now !!

category12 · 03/03/2019 21:05

It's really easy to shove stuff in the washing machine and then the dryer - he's left the actual work to the OP if he doesn't put it away properly.

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