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Original poster

DH has done ALL of the washing... FFS

149 replies

Lottalove · 03/03/2019 20:27

Today, after I put in 1 load of washing, DH decided to randomly take over and empty the entire contents of the laundry baskets and do 5 loads of washing and drying himself.

He knows it pisses me off when he impulsively washes clothes and leaves them in piles for ME to put away.

So he's put away 2 of the loads and claims he'll put the rest away after work tomorrow.

He won't.

And the clothes will crease up as they wait...

I have 2 young DCs at home and plans to go out tomorrow so I definitely will not have time to put it all away. It's all kids stuff too and will take forever! We have classes on Tuesday and so I know I won't get chance to put it away until Wednesday inbetween entertaining the kids.

I've told him I'm annoyed. He says I'm unreasonable and most women would be delighted that he's taken on the entire washing and drying for the whole house in one day.

Would you be delighted?

OP posts:
Passmethecrisps · 03/03/2019 21:07

Yes!! That’s it category. That’s the machine using bit. Like chaps who are happy to shove a hoover around but won’t tidy shit away.

nicenewdusters · 03/03/2019 21:07

Also reminds me of the threads where people say they have a huge pile of clothes in their bedroom, they need to sort them out but just don't know where to start. It's not hard, and no you don't need a book to tell you how or a YouTube video. Just get off your arse and stop procrastinating, or if you'd rather just read a book and can't be bothered that's also fine, but don't pretend it's a difficult problem.

pastabest · 03/03/2019 21:07

OP I completely get it. It's not been done to be genuinely helpful it's been done to prove that he can do 5 loads in one day and you are Making Excuses for not doing the same on a regular basis.

He won't have folded it, it's just lying in a basket now waiting for you to deal with it. You know and he knows that his intention to go it tomorrow won't come to anything. Not only that but you won't have time to sort it either.

Two small children generate a huge amount of washing. They aren't teenagers in school uniform all day they are messy, grubby, snot producing creatures probably requiring two changes of clothes each a day.

My advice - make him separate and fold all the kids clothes now. He can also chuck his/your clothes in separate baskets as he's working through. You do the towels and take them up with you for a bath and leave him to it. Tomorrow/next week you can both sort through your own clothes basket. When you get to yours put it back through the tumble drier for 10 mins and put away as normal.

Leave his lingering in a basket getting increasingly creased until he learns the error of his ways.

DaphneFanshaw · 03/03/2019 21:08

I really don’t get the problem. If either me or DP managed to get loads of clothes washed and dried we’d be really smug and happy about it.
Why the fuckity fuck is it a problem?
He put some away, will do the rest tomorrow. No big deal.
Not everything has to be an excuse to be livid.

NutElla5x · 03/03/2019 21:09

What's wrong with the two of you putting the clothes away now?

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 03/03/2019 21:09

My DH often does several loads of laundry if he is working from home. It’s amazing!

Just fold it properly and it won’t be an issue if you can’t put it properly away.

Pinkbells · 03/03/2019 21:10

Aw it's lovely that he's doing it, so give him credit for that, but maybe you could decide how you want it done between you. My DH does the ironing, I do the washing and we both ignore them until they get into a huge mountain sort the socks;

mrsm43s · 03/03/2019 21:11

Actually, if you look at the first post, her DH has put half away, and has said he'll do the rest after work tomorrow.

So let him.

Honestly, if I'd done 5 loads of washing and put 2 away, I wouldn't be happy if DH was bitching that I'd decided to leave putting away the other 3 until the next day.

OP is making a problem where there isn't one.

I imagine there are other things that are upsetting OP to make her react like this (or maybe just exhaustion from a non sleeping baby). But the fight she's actually picking, she's not being reasonable at all.

babysharkah · 03/03/2019 21:12

Dh does loads in the house but he is categorically not allowed near the laundry. He doesn't do it properly, his hanging skills are abysmal, it all ends up totally creased, doesn't dry properly because he doesn't shake and smooth and I then spend more time trying to sort it when I have to put it away.

Melroses · 03/03/2019 21:12

I get it.

I am married to a laundry obsessive. It is not the panacea that other people imagine it to be. [sad}

I keep singing this to myself (learned it at theatre school too long ago - probably very un PC but it keeps me going).

PeanuttyButter · 03/03/2019 21:12

I'd appreciate the help tbh. Not ideal I know but better than doing it myself imo

Pinkbells · 03/03/2019 21:13

Also, I never chuck clean dry washing in a basket! Always fold as you go, so much less ironing so I feel your pain on that one!

Melroses · 03/03/2019 21:13
Sad
Butterymuffin · 03/03/2019 21:13

Where do you hang 5 loads of laundry on the same day? In the summer, maybe, but in this weather surely you need a Buckingham Palace-sized house and garden to put it all to dry? Or does everyone else have a tumble dryer and it goes straight from one to the other..

Longdistance · 03/03/2019 21:13

I do dds and mine washing on a Sunday. Dh does his own, for the simple fact that he mixes whites and darks/colours and it annoys me. He’s ruined some pretty decent bras Sad
I wash, hang and put away our clothes. Dh does his.
I could say great, he’s done the laundry but he’d hang it creased as well. God knows what his parents taught him about laundry.
I iron as I go.

Melroses · 03/03/2019 21:14

Always fold as you go

This is absolutely true. You just have to dive in there at the point he is taking it out of the tumble drier. If you can.

killpop · 03/03/2019 21:14

Where did the OP say it wasn't folded? She just said it needed put away.

itsboiledeggsagain · 03/03/2019 21:15

Can I smell the whiff of burning martyr?
Weekly bath?

gubbsywubbsy · 03/03/2019 21:16

I don't understand why it takes so long ? I've done about 10 loads today( beds towels etc ) prob about 4 of clothes .. it takes me about ten minutes to put it all away .

candlefloozy · 03/03/2019 21:16

Drives me mad. My husband does this too.

MadAboutWands · 03/03/2019 21:17

I get it OP
He is doing something and because he is a man, EVERYONE falls over themselves to tell you how great he is (he is also probably thinking he is a great husband to have done all this washing - never mind you normally do it with no thanks).
The fact that, whatever he has done, is actually creating MORE problems for you is overlooked.
He KNOWS it is an issue for you too so instead of doing ALL the folding now, he is leaving it to you.
I’m find8ng it interesting to see the huge number if comments saying that you should be doing that now instead if having your ONE bath in the week. But there isn’t ONE comment about why is he not folding stuff now instead if doing whatever he is doing atm (that’s not looking afetr the dcs, they are sleeping).

I wouod be grumpy too.
When yu are exhausted from a Velcro baby +toddler combi, you need th8ngs to reun as smoothly as possible. And he has put a spanner in the works. Whether he wanted the help or not isn’t the issue. The issue is that he created more work for you, made things harder and that, somehow, you are also supposed to be grateful for it Confused
The level of expectations from men are very low on this thread again. Whilst the expectations for women to just suck it is very high. Again.

killpop · 03/03/2019 21:17

Honestly, if I'd done 5 loads of washing and put 2 away, I wouldn't be happy if DH was bitching that I'd decided to leave putting away the other 3 until the next day.

This. I suspect the responses would be different if it were a man coming on and writing this post about his wife.

Passmethecrisps · 03/03/2019 21:18

I have said to my DH that while I am happy he does laundry if he isn’t going to fold then please don’t bother. Try to fold washing which is lying in a knotty, creased heap takes longer and is less effective than folding each item warm from the drier.

If it is his stuff he is washing he can leave it like that for eternity if he wishes

Pixie2015 · 03/03/2019 21:19

Fold them in piles and leave them outside the appropriate room - shame to leave them unsorted till later in the week

WineIsMyCarb · 03/03/2019 21:20

Yeah, he sounds like a massive dickhead. LTB. How dare he take responsibility for domestic tasks and use his initiative to get it done before he (presumably) goes back to work tomorrow. Sorry to hear that your DC's Tshirts will be creased

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