New year, new organisation! Fledglings fly in 2018.

[TooStressyForMyOwnGood]

Hello all and Happy New Year!

A warm welcome to the January Flylady thread. This is a lovely friendly thread where we loosely follow the Flylady system (see the Flylady website) in the hope of having organised homes and lives.

Every day the thread leader (me this month) posts links and missions from the Flylady site and also some friendly (!) personal comments. This is quite a ‘talky’ thread but we try our hardest not to be cliquey and new members are very welcome! Typically there are a lot of new members in January so I will do my best to keep track of everybody .

Old members, as you know there have been a few issues with links at times so if there is some chopping and changing over the month with the links then that is why. Please note that Flylady is (understandably) keen for people to click on her site so please do have a look around the site and the links.

On the website there is information for beginners. You can also sign up to the Flylady emails but we would advise caution as there are hundreds of them.

We post our achievements (ta das) and our to do lists and any other general chatter about life / flying.

Information on getting started: www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/

The launch pad is also a good starting place:www.flylady.net/c/lp.php

Fly stands for Finally Loving Yourself. The general idea is that short bursts of tidying / organisation are more achievable than marathon efforts. Flylady advises 15 minute bursts is effort but you can tweak this to fit your own circumstances.

I’m sure lots of you have New Years Resolutions to be organised and to declutter, as I do every year . Be kind to yourselves and careful not to crash and burn!

I am risking making two:-
Go to bed at 11pm unless decent reason why not.
Spend less time on my phone.

Here are the links for Monday 1st Jan. although I am linking these then if you are treating today as a holiday (as much as is possible in real life anyway!) then feel free to take today off.

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Here is the daily summary for Monday (also available on the Flylady website at flight plan which should update automatically each day).

I’m afraid I start the year confused . I’ve just looked on the Flylady website and the link to the zone and missions is here which indicates we will be in zone 5 which is the living room. I would have thought the month starts in zone 1 but I know this has happened before, I think SC explained? TBH after Xmas I think most living rooms could use a bit of work so it won’t hurt . Apologies if this is confusing.

Re. zones, do what works for you. I don’t always stick to the zones myself and do what works best at the time, with varying degrees of success!

Spend 15 mins decluttering, or whatever you can manage, in Zone 5.

When you have finished decluttering, the detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 5 is here.

daily focus

missions for the week

Flykids mission

January’s habit is shining your sink.

beginner babysteps.

Happy flying everyone.
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It always makes me laugh when teachers say oh this approach is good for those on the spectrum Bower ds is on the spectrum and hated with extreme passion the topic work. Tbh the entire primary school system was wrong for him, not enough structure, not enough expectations, school unwilling and refusing to do anything about the bullying so the bullied left and they didn't have to deal with the discipline he has been a different much happier healthier child since leaving the primary school system. No stupid christmas plays, no one making him feel like the fact he doesn't enjoy the 'fun' activity means he is defective. His teachers just couldn't see it. But it is funny how he stopped school refusing when he left the school and the primary system.

That said homework and attitude is an issue and I am going to have to have a meeting with one of his subjects when they go back.

Anyway I am procrastinating and NEED to get coffee and start on that list as all but pick up ds has to be done by 3pm.

That’s the kind of approach I always envisaged Bower :) in fact once before we deregistered them I let DD stay off one day (she had a panic attack as the bus arrived) and we spent hours on a poster about rocks. She took it to school the next day and got house points. So I always thought that’s the kind of thing we’d do, as she often enjoyed that kind of homework. However when she left school she basically had to “detox” for a while (she was incredibly quiet and overly compliant at school - that’s why all her issues were ignored - so all the bad feeling she’d repressed just came spilling out, violently and at alarming speed). And then she wouldn’t do anything that reminded her too much of school. It’s only recently she is willing to write maths on paper rather than on a mini whiteboard where mistakes can be instantly erased. I do think we will get to that sort of approach, in fact she has just shown this week that she is actually able to do proper research by writing notes and then expanding on that. Before she would always copy exactly what was written in the book/website etc, not to be lazy but because she couldn’t understand what was written so she didn’t feel ‘safe’ to rewrite it. I think her issues are probably dyslexic type. So when she showed me a few bullet points she had written from a history book (for fun - she got a pop up book kit for Christmas and she decided to make one about British monarchs) I nearly cried! She does have passion for particular subjects so I want to build on that. We just need to get positive habits in place, being able to sit at the table and write, being a bit more independent etc. We’ve been laying the groundwork for a while with maths and spellings and then more recently added some computer based learning, even some workbooks which again was massive progress because they refused for so long. I know they are behind but compared to how much she was struggling at school I know at least I am aware of it and we are gradually getting there.

Eek need to get dressed and go in ten minutes I’d better stop waffling now!

On manoeuvres but thank you for pointer to Bowerbird's thread Toostressy and thank you for thread itself Bowerbird!

Wing flaps to everyone else!

teenager boys are fucking idiots and a complete pain in the ass. That. Is. All.

And he is still away on holiday and not come home yet

God help him when he discovers the new room has to be tidy every day rule

I'm the least crafty person ever I have no patience but maybe I will take a look at the thread and be inspired!

Ta das
Picked up dry cleaning
Decluttered car

To do
Daily routine
Ring vet
Dust dining table
Declutter or detail clean porch
Declutter purse and bag
Swish and swipe downstairs loo

Find old bras

My list isn't shrinking. I'm having to sit in the car while ds sleeps, will hardly be at home today so that doesn't help!

Hills i have 3 boys and your scaring me

to do
finish tidying ds' room in progress
tidy ds' floor
empty ds' bin (at least once) first empty done
sort the stuff from the drawers that are getting a new storage solution. in progress
sort ds' school books into the emptied drawers
put labels on the drawers so ds has NO excuse.
sort out ds' ds games and put AWAY in their boxes (this is probably what will piss ds off about the whole thing)
sort out the collection of wires in ds' room
bleach ds' window sil and windows nope leaving to help with argument about tidy rooms and access I will be having with ds later. Will do tomo.
put on some laundry 2nd load on and hand washed wool socks
find curtains from their storage space - either in the craft room or in the middle of my bed which will involve taking the bed apart hmm
buy some new rings and find the curtain hooks for hanging curtains
hang curtains in ds' room
cull the stationery out that is going to be decluttered or ds is not to have in his room. because he takes sodding pencil sharpners apart to get to the blades in progress
collect ds
ikea
Sort out ds' birthday present for his dad from him.

Also ta da
play book tetris so ds has more space for books.
find out a crap ton of pictures did not back up from old computer
send emails to ds with as many of the pictures i could find
figure out a way to get just enough power into the battery for old computer to allow picture rescue - will have to implement later
put my christmas stuff into the craft room, no curtains there

And that is where i have got up to so far. Now for lunch, shower and actually get dressed. Sometimes i find it more productive to just start flying in pjs because I won't start doing otherwise.

Ds' school this year had the yr 8 students in for a meeting at the beginning of the year. They sat the parents down and said, their attitude will stink this and probably next year, their grades and effort will go down the toilet this year. It is normal. I don't give a flying fuck if ds doesn't do his homework and gets into shit at school. I will go through the roof at him if he is lying to me about it. I have found things he claims his teacher has, and several notes in his planner that I am supposed to have seen. He is in shit for lying and preventing access so I can deal with the mould issue. He is an idiot because he knows my stance on this issue. I am super pissed off because I will now have to ground him without technology - agreed punishment and the rest of the month is going to be hell because he thinks I am 'stealing from him' if I confiscate things, and it is against his human rights if I ban him from things. We are both going to be miserable for the month of January. And that is before the fact he has to complete 2 weeks worth of holiday homework in 2 days and he is not going to want to.

Ergo you will probably be fine if your boys have a millimeter of common sense or have got them into better routines

Well that's the days plans out the window. Dd is now poorly, no appetite for lunch, bit hot, tummy ache she's just watching tv looking sad bless her.

Well at leastI will be at home and get more done!

hills teenagers sound stressful...I've got it all to come!

The only difference between teenagers , toddlers and stubborn elderly ime is choice of language. For all three age groups it is the frustration of wanting to be able to do everything adults can do but not being able to. it can be a lot of fun but it is like everything you don't really hear about the good times because people forget to talk about it. You only hear about the crap because humans like to moan I am getting ds to make chow mein this weekend so hoping that will help cut the crap. There is also pizza planned for sunday. Well fed bellies always helps.

P.s. I will try to remember post some good things when they happen to help address the balance. but no promises my memory is shocking.

this face book video made me giggle the reality of parenting vs the idea before kids.

God I had forgotten about the but Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyy stage.

hills Sorry you are having such a stressful day.💐

There is always an exception to rule. The problem being that no two children are alike and no two teachers are either.

Cags I wouldn't worry too much about it being in a book as my intervention children prefer white boards too. I think the boxes drive some mad. I do work one to one and show them how to use boxes to their advantage. I photocopy whiteboards for evidence and we fold and stick that in the book. We also use a different colour pen for corrections that helps them see where they have changed it. This is all pupils with SEN. I sometimes let them work on the floor and so did the teacher last year, if that helps them feel less anxious. It is so sad that she had such a horrible and anxious time in Education. Get her to do lots of practical Maths as sometimes I can't see the point myself but lots of repetition like cooking means it becomes second nature.
My third son came out of school with low GCSEs but he has not been out of work since 16. I am really proud of him. Hills - he hated secondary!
Haven't got much done yet. Quite wheezy this morning but DH and I think we have decided on the kitchen which is a major thing especially as we are agreeing😳
Going to M& S now I think and do the books after that. DH hasn't vacuumed yet but he did notice the house was tidier. Glad I washed floor last night and shined my sink. It does make you feel better than a sink full of dirty dish to come down to. I do sometimes leave them but mainly if friends have been.

Oh meant to say teenagers are hard work you have my sympathy. Mine are all past that now thank goodness. DD sometimes pretends she is one. It is politics now. I don't argue I just tell her I think most of them are shit that usually shuts her up.

i have found 8 packets for circs of varying sizes. Surely I do not have that many projects on needles also where i have i put them all if i do?

Dd had perked up after calpol. Finished my list hooray!

I need to start thinking about my tax return...anyone else got to do one? Or is everyone more organised and done it already!

Hi guys

I have had a stressful day of shopping trailing earache DD and DP(sighs and flops in naughty corner)

Have I done my tax return? Hahahaha. Of course not.

Fantastic day ice skating, well not me personally I had to sit with the mums and a hot chocolate :o great start to the new year :)

Ballet not back till next week so we have a nice chilled evening ahead.

I did my tax return back in October, because I prefer to do it on paper. Still need to finish DH one though. Why I seem to be the person chasing him to do it and finding information for it I'm not sure.

Put all shopping away
Fought some more with dd2.shes clearly not on form and is what I can only describe as horribly tempered
Dinner on(Bolognese)salad chopped.garlic and herb bread in oven
Pud-mango sorbet

I am taking lil zoo and D's to choir tonight at church whilst do watches dd2.theyve not been in near a month after bit of a set to.bower can you advise please?
The choir is run by the vicars husband's.hes an amazingly musically minded man but he comes from a highly pressured job(managerial role in astro physics) straight to the choir Fri nights and he has a super short fuse and shouts/explodes....
Lil zoo caught it after dip her fingers in some paint that was be put out for play(they sing an hour then have half hour of games and crafts,often making things for that Sundays service).he ranted at her and she cried.he then sent her to wash hands and she stood sobbing properly in the toilets after he shout after her to make sure sink wasn't covered in it after.j had left lil zoo and dd2 there as D's wasn't well so I only have my girls version.its not out of character behaviour tbh and lil zoo not known for lying.she as crying when we got back and dd2 explained what had happened.lil zoo is very shy and hates "social faux Pas" be shouted at is her ultimate mortification.she has refused to go since as I've not been able to stay and she knows I'm there I WILL pull him up after he behaves as tho nothings happens.his wife(vicar) is there as it's a safe guarding issue if he's alone with the kids.she to my knowledge said nothing but try and engage lil zoo to play after.
They attend choir.choir goes out to Sunday school so it would be very awkward for them to stop going choir and still attend Sunday school and she has a beautiful if quiet voice and doesn't hate the singing
Until this incident I felt it was good for her confidence.do I say nothing but not leave them alone or open my fob and risk stirring up a hornets nest?!

For tonight I may well say nothing as I doubt I get advice before we leave(620)
Need dish up dinner...

I should as on other occasions we have met up as a group he's fun and really good with all the children .I genuinely believe it's just his work heads still on and he's used to compitence in his work environment and compliance

Hello all, to those who had stressful days. Glad your DD perked up foxes. Love that video Hills - so true. I like her stuff. Also lovely to hear from you briefly SC as always. Big wing flaps to everyone!

Aaaagh tax return. Don’t need to do one this year but might do next year as going to be doing some self employed stuff. Need to fill in a tax form about that at some point.

Bower, perhaps it is worth seeing your GP or practice nurse to get a plan for how often to do peak flows etc.

Ta da:-
DDs in PJs watching telly
Got DD1 shoes checked and thankfully they still fit so should hopefully be ok until half term
DD1 PE kit sorted.

To do:-
Girls teeth
Bedtime etc.
Look at work shifts

Will try to think of some advice zoo. I would probably just see how it goes tonight and go from there but that may not be the best advice .