The Hoarders Anonymous Thread Part Three...Still Sorting It Out ~ Together!

[Solo]

Are you are any of the following? Can you be described as a clutterbug? Are you a hoarder, in a mess, untidy, disorganised, lazy with housework that has lead to something that you now feel unable to deal with. If you are ill and not coping with the housework. If you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason. If you cannot just ask someone in for a cuppa at a moments notice or dread the meter reader asking for access.

Are you nodding whilst reading any of these words? If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please join us. No one here will judge you. We have something in common and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small. We cheer one another along and drag the drowners from the depths of despair.

Join us; we don't bite :) Welcome to thread number 3.

Cag could a simple cot be the answer instead of a cotbed? tbh Ikea child beds are so cheap that you could upgrade to one later? And cots are a lot smaller than cotbeds. I wish I had never had our cotbeds, they were so much trouble to dismantle and reorganise and then not really big enough or the right size later on as "beds". the other solution could be a good quality travel cot as a temporary "cot" until you get to your new house/flat.

Micky I used to keep all my old clothes. then I had a big clearout, and tbh I don't know why I kept them for 15 years, completely pointless. I neer fitted into them and they all had moth!!!

I was wondering about that but TBH we really can’t afford to do it twice, bearing in mind we would need new mattress and sheets as well as the frame. Ikea isn’t an option for us, as none of us (including my parents now) drive and delivery is really expensive to where we are (we will be using it when we move though, as we have loads to buy so will get it all delivered at once). The lack of car also means we can’t get rid of old furniture without paying (council or man with van) as we can’t just drive it to the tip, so it’s doubly expensive to buy twice IYSWIM. We will need an absolute fortune when we move (Caglets need beds, none of us have clothes storage, we will need an oven and fridge freezer, and the council apparently rip out all the carpets when tenants leave so we will have to floor the entire house too... let alone actual moving costs) so every penny counts. Which in some ways makes it a better idea to get a cot but I’m really wary of then having to buy something again when she outgrows it (I think DS wasn’t much more than a year when he outgrew his although he was a big baby).

Thankfully DH has measured and it will fit easily, just need to put more boxes away. DH is doing that now, moving stuff in the built in wardrobe to make space.

We are on such a go slow today though. I’m really getting stressed about moving, the costs, all the decisions that need to be made both about the big stuff (like furniture as above, let alone whether we even accept an offered house or not) and all the little bits of clutter everywhere, it just feels like so much pressure. Being autistic I really really struggle with decision making and it’s exhausting me. So many unknowns (when, where...) it’s wearing me down and I just want to move now. I am so excited to move, it really will change our lives unimaginably in so many ways, but that being on my mind is also making me sad, because it’s really bringing it home just how much we are struggling at the moment. Things like having no proper heating, no shower (there’s an over bath shower but it doesn’t work) and a leaking bath which the kids can’t manage on their own, no counterspace at all because we needed to buy a tabletop oven (that itself barely works properly) as the built in one stopped working, broken stairs that the landlord never fixed, all the little things that just make life a little more difficult. This winter has been really hard as it’s so cold. I’m also panicking that nothing will change when we move, that we will end up just as cluttered and disorganised in a bigger space, and I will be just as stressed and sad. Even though I know really we are making good strides with it all, that’s why we are working hard to sort things now, but it’s frustratingly slow.

Sorry for ranting I am just so done with it. You know they say moving is one of the most stressful life events, we seem to be dragging it out over several months! It’s not that I’m not looking forward to it, or incredibly grateful that we are getting housed at all, I just wish I was coping better with it. I’m predicting an almighty crash both physically and mentally after we move, which is mainly why I’m so determined to get more done now TBH.

Sorry. On to more positive things!

Caglets’ current task is picking up everything they see and if they know what to do with it, they do it (chuck or put away) and if they don’t, it is going in a carrier bag. They are doing quite well and actually not much is making it into the bags, they are much better than me as I tend to just shove everything in when I “stash and dash” and then wonder when I go to sort it why I put something that’s so obviously rubbish in the bag for later 😳🙄

Unfortunately some boxes of random crap have snuck into the wardrobe, we will have to leave them for now but I’m not allowing any more in! I really really don’t want to move with them if we can possibly avoid it.

Lunch soon then more board game sorting. This will include reorganising what’s left in the cupboard (some games we haven’t tried yet or haven’t decided whether they are worth keeping - I am a total game addict but I’ve accepted it’s not worth keeping all of them if they aren’t brilliant) to make more space for other stuff, which I’m hoping will make everyday life easier. We aren’t even keeping that cupboard as it’s falling apart but we can’t afford to get it collected now so we are just making the best of it for now.

I have waffled and ranted for far too long sorry 😳 lunch soon then cracking on as cagletini has finally finished feeding.

Thanks Cag and Nettles for replying.
Cag sorry to hear you are stressing about your move. I guess the more organised you are now the better.
I've had a productive morning. I walked around the house with a bin bag emptying all bins picking up kids art stuff. It's a tip round here since the schoo hols but I've managed to pick all clothes up off their floors sort out dirty and clean and got both to go through their own clothes and get rid of any they don't like. It made me realise how bad I am because whenever they didn't want something I kept trying to talk them into keeping it!! Will attempt my clothes tomorrow!

Cag I struggle so much with decision making too. Only in hindsight do I ever realise how much simpler decisions were than I thought Main problem with me is thinking TOO FAR ahead, rather than focussing on what works in short term, in a way I spend too long analysing problems rather than just tackling them in simplest way. Animals teach me a lot!

Don't be sad, you really are doing brilliantly, 3 children a nearly new one, a tiny flat, and home educating!!! And illness and our unique ways of seeing the world (ASD), surely you can see you are coping really quite magnificently?? support is really invaluable though, the more support I get internet or otherwise the easier I find it to cope, isolation is just the worst thing when life is hard/stressful.

I cannot drive properly so deliveries are the only way I can get things anyway car much too small, and I do struggle with things getting picked up too, find it v difficult to organise getting things taken away.

not a good day today. Felt sick after a takeaway that dh organised, although I have to say it was my fault for eating so much. My body cannot take so much sugar and fat anymore!

feel very frustrated by house and its contents, although dh does the cooking today and yesterday so I just went back to bed and gave up all attempts at making sense of anything...I cannot imagine what a luxury that might have been ten years ago, just to be able to go back to bed and give up. trying to organise plans for the very long holidays is driving me insane, where we can finally do some of the things we have dreamed of and ds1 could possibly do some independent things (but has not a clue what) giving me a headache.

hoarding wise, I have bought some new clothes. I need some gardening clothes too. I have no scruffy trousers that are comfortable to work in.

I am also planning to reorganise my study area, which doesn't exist at present as ds2 has taken over the tv room with his revision. I am moving into the kitchen, taking a corner of the table and putting all my files in the kitchen cupboard that presently takes platters, and putting them somewhere I don't use as much. Hope this allows me to throw away some more paper clutter. and actually sit down and work in a sustained way at a desk, instead of constantly having to clear everything into random piles on kitchen worktop. Only today feel too sick and impossible to mix with family life this plan as dh cooking endlessly on the table!

On the plus side, ds2 is doing very well constantly clearing the recycling, and I managed to clear out the fridge and the some of the stuff in the utility room. So much more to do though on the cupboard side, old tiles, old paint, jam making equipment???why just why? shoe polish (do we need it?) dh has put all his electrical gardening equpiment on top of the washing machine grrr. we need a shed clearly, even a small one would do.

dh did a lot of gardening on Saturday so even more stuff to go the dump now aarrgh..

Hi everyone. Welcome, mickey :) Cag and Nettle I hope you are both feeling better .

I haven't done much but, I did sort a little of the kitchen on Monday. Laundry was all up to date and I changed the bedding which was an overdue task. Got the dirty bedding washed too.
Ds came over with a couple of friends and cleared some of my garden on Monday but, they came late and didn't get as much done as they could have. I had to pay them too. They say they are returning to do the rest but, we shall see! Ds did discover that my drains aren't draining away and I think it's a worse problem than just a blocked drain. I think perhaps that the drains have collapsed again. Can't call anyone in until the place is sorted though. Sadly, this is now the boiler, the house alarm, the ballcock in the loft, the outside drains, and probably more...I have to get the electrics replaced, the windows too...arghhhhhhhhh.

I'm sick of it all.

Dd wanted to walk to school on her own and started before the Easter hols - all good. But, all she's done this week is beg me to drive her to school. I took her yesterday as I was going to work anyway but, this morning, she got up half an hour after the alarm went off and constantly whined about me taking her...I didn't though. She does nothing to help me. Gets everything she wants and still expects more.

Argh solo that’s so frustrating. Is there a way you can lay the law down and set out expectations? I think she’s a little older than my DD isn’t she (11 in June) so could definitely take on some responsibility. Her own laundry, washing up, rubbish out or whatever. Rota? Could do it linked to pocket money if so inclined.

Thank you so much for the praise nettle 😳💐 I agree (reluctantly) I am doing well considering.

Solo I used to drive dd to school when she was about 13-15, twice a week. I only drove her on particular days, and that seemed to keep the whining at bay. Now she is back to going by herself (it is a long journey takes two buses). When she first went to school I never drove her (two years) I decided that she needed the injection of my time and energy and it was worth doing, it makes it easier now to say no.

I suppose it helps me to think it is not really a contract more what is going to make her a nicer happier person. The rights and wrongs of it are not relevant really. Dd is very demanding, but we find the more we do the nicer she gets, ironically. And she is very independent now and does most of her organising and cleaning herself, despite a lot of bleating about how such and such's mum tidies her room, and does her washing for her. I make her do most of her own laundry now, but not earlier.

I've decided that to save time and my sanity by just dumping my children's clean clothes in their drawers without bothering to fold them. I saw this on a clutterbug video( I love that woman). My children just plough through looking for fave clothes and leave it all over their rooms so I'm not going to waste any more time than necessary. They are very young to be fair. I'm also just closing their bedroom doors on a day to day basis so I can't see(and stress) about the mess. Just a once a week tidy which I will help them do..
I've been trying on summer clothes today. A bit of weight loss has been nice but I'm still going to be ruthless and only keep the stuff I love to wear..

mickey I don't think I have ever folded the children's clothes. It gave me the rage when they used to unfold them -and threw them all over their rooms searching for items again. Now dd folds her own clothes, she has turned it into an art form, having been brought up so neglectfully!

It is true you can fit more clothes in a drawer when you fold things, however, this is possibly a drawback and makes one store too much.

Solo, that is great your son came to do the clear out of the garden, and nowt wrong with paying him, time is money, and it is really good for him to earn money helping you. Commiserations on the drain, we have a partially collapsed drain (just rainwater luckily) and I am putting off dealing with it. Main drain I had jetted, it cost £200, but the horrendousness of blocked drains (think: everything backs up) made it worth it to pay over the odds. I spent ages fiddling around with drain rods myself, but the truth is that cooking fat and detergent often make domestic solutions unworkable. However, a pressure washer could have worked perhaps, but then a good one would cost as much as call out, and no doubt by next year I would have lost one of the attachments or it would have been sitting in a main room for us all to trip over. it is bad enough having a cheap one, I am constantly tripping over it on my way through the shed to the dustbins.

bright sunshine is shining on all the dust and disorder

tempting to close the blinds and go to a darker part of the house...

or failing that, go outside and enjoy the sunshine..orange tulips here and white cherry blossom (the greenhouse is full of crap but I won't think about that)

yesterday I hoovered our bedroom, washed the duvet itself, brought down summer clothes and put away some wintry ones, washed loads of dh jumpers.
Then I discovered the whiff of cat pee was comign from my jewellery (costume i hasten to add) drawer, the wretched cat has left her mark when the drawer was left ajar. Lesson to self, shut drawers and doors!

today I am trying to tackle just a few things. Anything is better than nothing. Trying not to panic as usual how much needs doing.

we''ve moved a large pot in the garden. We've chopped up a dead climber.

I am going to clean the bathroom now with a scrubber and toothbrush, as if I do any more gardening I am into a bottomless pit of to dos.

Laundry done, dishwasher loaded and done. Erm...

I haven't cleaned the bathroom. I suspect that will not happen
However I have folded up the dry clean jumpers
bought an apple tree, planted it in a basket (decluttering a wood basket yay!)
bought some container plug plants (lobelia and snapdragons)
bought some seed trays
some compost

to encourage me to get rid of those things in the greenhouse.

will try and quickly declutter and sort the cook book shelf now. I have 30 mins to spare before going out.

bookshelf of cookbooks tidied, and threw away some old catalogues.

Then we all enjoyed watching the Woman in White on tv.

today I tackled paperwork and set up a new "study" zone where there is a table.
This mean decluttering the kitchen cupboard, and creating two enormous shelves free for files. I've thrown away a lot of paper this morning and reduced my paper down to far less files. The bank statements are terrifying me, some still in their envelopes and tbh I am so frightened of the pile I just throw the envelopes in without even opening them. So taking a deep breath I opened them, threw away envelopes and put about 1/10 in page order in a big lever arch file. Don't ask but I have three bank accounts so it is even more complicated. I felt really angry with dh this morning when he mentioned something else that needed doing, I never seem to be able to tackle the things I need to tackle for more than short spurt. But by dint of literally doing nothing else all day except deal with piles of paperwork I managed to reduce the piles even if I didn't actually deal with the paperwork itself. Just sort it, but that is a start. Inadvertently of course one finds many useful certificates so it is always worth doing.

I also found that yes I had paid the house insurance last Dec, thank heaven for that!
I also put all the boardgames on one shelf, and moved the film guides into the tv room, having made room for them by moving the files I hope that doesn't count as "churning". I put all the vases in one place in the utility (some lurking at the back of a cupboard but never used so I end up using milk jugs), found the insert to the Rose Bowl we had been given as a wedding present but never used. Removed all the wretched x box games from the "vase" shelf, put them in a cardboard box when can i throw them out

Dd has tidied the airing cupboard and folded up lots of clean towels in colour shading order and invited me to come and look. We just need a sign now to say, do not touch dd's towels they are an artwork.

everywhere else is grimy and awful...but paperwork is always a mental struggle.

Sounds good Nettleskeins 👍. Yesterday I did my bedroom including wardrobes it looks immaculate now. Changed all bedding hoovered everywhere. I've set up a place in the kitchen for mail that has been read but needs either filing or dealing with. Once a week I empty it and either pay what needs paying or file it. Seems to be working so far. Today I need to tackle putting clean clothes away. I wash and dry stuff but hate putting stuff away so our spare room is covered in clean clothes. Anyone else hate putting clothes away?

yes, I hate it!

more shredding this morning. I'm throwing away all bank statements pre:April 2013. well at least in the current batch, there is a big file of really old ones, but I cannot face them now, they'll have to wait till eldest goes to uni!! The shredder only takes 6 pages at a time.

ginormous pile of paper shredded, yay, and bin liner for recycling now
swept behind kitchen cupboards
threw away some odds and sods from the kitchen basket drawers
put all my addresses in one place
threw away all the bank stuff pre 2013

made a ring binder file for the bank statements April 2018 - April 2019 onwards, I am going to turn over a new leaf on that one, I don't want the past chaos to happen again. Put all chequebooks in one place, and two current chequebooks in one place (not my handbag eek, the pit of doom in there)
put all the dog stuff in one bag and put it in a drawer (I don't have a dog but I borrow sisters)
put all clothes pegs I kept finding all over the house in one small plastic box by the window next to washing line

two shelves cleared, put ds's history books and revision on one.

I've made space, it's a miracle.

tomorrow first thing going to tackle the spices and coffee/tea cupboard.

Well done!

I have done nothing of note. Just focusing on home ed this week.