Cruising towards Christmas and the New Year - it's the December Flylady thread.

[CotswoldStrife]

Ho, ho, ho - welcome to the December Flylady thread. We'll be following the Flylady method and enforcing order on our houses. Feel free to join in. The monthly focus for December is pampering

I'll be posting links to the daily missions, daily focus and the zone cleaning - don't worry about the detailed zone cleaning if you haven't already decluttered, Flylady recommends decluttering first.

You can probably already tell my personal level of dedication to the internet, not the house as I've looked up the Christmas smileys specially. No washing up was done in the making of this post.

I'll post the first December links tonight!

I have to pop in and say hi to you all (those that remember me!)

Mahoosive waves to you all!! Have a good Christmas to you all and all the best for 2017.

I'll just throw a "180" into the mix, just for a few of you.

Hope mil gets better soon.xx

On dd schooling age plays a part.dd2 losing impetus s not this year-13 in april and attitudes building.she's also a bit of a dreamer (sighs)

Can I bring poorly D's into naughty corner?I promiseake him sit in bubble so as not to share his temp and cough/snot!!

Whoknows well you wouldn't be in awe of my actual house, decluttered or not it still seems extremely messy and I've just noticed a lot of cobwebs and greasy ceilings now that there are less objects to distract the eye!

resorted to putting dd's non-essential (I am talking hoodies] laundry in a sack and hiding it rather than doing it, she has just too many clothes in her room atm, more than enough to get thro holidays

decided on Christmas eve pud of meringue with cranberry clementine and pistachio from bbc (random choice)
and someone is giving me a cheesecake!

just cooked boiled potatoes, tomatoeless meatballs simmered in stock with parsely and lemon, and cucmber on side. For pudding we had some canape custard tartlettes (from M & S) jaffa cakes and pomegranate seeds

bought lots of christmas veg from greengrocer, so that chore is done. I think he is open on Christmas day though, such is London, so I don't need to worry really...

SC 13-16 is three years. Could you think of way to fund International school for that time, if this is going to continue, just to get dd back to confidence and engagement? I would just be worried that she is going to give up entirely if she isn't fitting in academically to "their" timeline or expectations. After all, it is just one system, in one country, the rest of her life there will be students of all nationalities and education systems mixing together in uni and training, if they get to that point. Some of the children who went to liberal schools still end up doing well academically.

Dd was very uninterested in academic excellence till recently; she had several friends acquaintances who as far as I could see were swots and extremely conscientious, this has rubbed off on her [up to a point] and she has suddenly started really pushing to do well in Spanish and Maths and her attendance has leapt to 100 percent (she wanted the Certificate) She has just won a prize for academic progress across all the levels, but as far as I can see she still moans how boring Geography is and how the science teacher is so bad he wasn't allowed to teach GSCE year. But I always feel she is being allowed to motivate herself and find her level and that is working to some extent because it is a very creative curriculum up to GSCE, so they are always learning on some level even if it is not an obviously academic standard that is being set.

I suppose it is what you want for Dd in the long run. A vet? A doctor? or a journalist, an artist, a writer, a business entrepreneur. Some of these things require excellent academics, others are more about developing your confidence and ability to relate to others, which I suspect your dd is well set to acquire whatever her grades. It is a battle to make someone something they are not. What do your UK relatives suggest? Any long view there?

Whoknows recovery from operations can take so much longer than the surgeons suggest, your poor MIL.

oh dear, see I have used the word "level" repeatedly to mean lots of different things, not very precise

[Double take] Whey hey! Is that PA I see? How are you doing? Any good pigeon sticking of late? [I think I owe you a pm ] Lovely to see lots of "founding members" back on the thread! Up the oche!!

Gosh Knitting thank you for taking the trouble to post that at such a frantically busy time! Much appreciated!

Huge congratulations to your dd on making such good academic progress across the board!! That's brilliant stuff!

Yes, you make a good point, it is only three years. (But International School almost Eton level fees (deffo not Eton level education): usually paid by corporations on behalf of their employees, not by indivs .) As ever, I am bringing my own "isshoes" to the table, because I had such a useless education, I really wanted a bit of rigour for dd. Trouble is, I got far, far more than I bargained for! The system over here is so totally different to that of the UK; the two do not compare in any shape or form really. And once you leave it, you are out of it for good as you would never catch up language-wise or academically. It's utterly brutal. The other problem is that in third year of secondary (if she makes it that far) you have to go down Greek, Latin, philosophy, science route to get on any vaguely academic/professional university course. Or you go down strictly non-academic route. It is far too young to specialise imo, as many children bloom late, especially for someone like dd who has no idea what they want to do; possibly law, possibly languages (but deffo need Latin and Greek for all of those).

I am just frustrated that I came away from the teachers meetings no clearer about the best way forward than when I went in. When I suggested tutoring, they all said no, she can do it on her own, just 5 or 10 mins on each subject per night. Yet she is spending 2 hrs a night on hwk at least. They just kept repeating "she is not living up to our expectations of a good student" like some sort of mantra.

Like the sound of your Christmas pud ... I am doing syllabub.

Have iced cakes. Glycerine didn't work because icing looks grainy, not shiny, and it didn't go in to nice peaks. Never mind. Vague swirls will have to suffice instead.

So much more to do on list but I can't keep my eyes open! (Although I think I may have to wrap some presents for office tonight as everyone off on hols tomorrow.)

Zoo make way, coming through to naughty corner. Bringing some cranberry and white choc cookies for your little Zoolet!

G'night all!

[And apologies for thread hi-jack everyone]

Back to Flying tomorrow I promise!

Evening all

Well this evening I pushed my self to spend 45 mins after big three DC were in bed tidying around. In this time I -

Washed all pots
Washed and sterilised bottles
Tidied living room
Emptied bathroom bin
Bleached one toilet
Put away all washing except oldest two dcs
Put away towels
Emptied washer into dryer/on radiators
Reloaded washer
Wiped table and left out breakfast things
Wiped Hob and worktops
Swept kitchen

Not bad I don't think, nice to leave it not looking a tip for once anyway

I then spent another 45 min wrapping some more of the dcs Christmas presents, keep finding thinks I had forgot I bought!

No state school is going to recommend tutoring. They are not allowed to suggest that their teaching/school strategy is insufficient. Of course they are going to blame her. It is a bit like saying we could all have tidy houses if we just set our minds to it...several years later...well...not quite...temperament is not something you can drill into someone.

The second point is, that children who go to less rigorous schools in UK do get into university to do prestigious degrees, like engineering, science, history, if they have an aptitude for those subjects. Nephew is studying mechanical engineering in Imperial, and a product of a relatively liberal private school. His brother is something quite different. They were suited to different things, despite being in same school and family background. Being in an strict dry academic system will suit some in Belgium and France and Germany, but there will be those who might have flourished better in a liberal regime, AND then gone on to train in those very same highly academic areas. Or just flourished anyway in less academic areas. Actually the non-academic one has ended up being very academic too, in his Humanities field at uni, it just took that much longer to decide that was of interest to him. At 13 he was relatively dreamy and disengaged except from wanting to make friends and impress people.

Feeling angry with the school all the time must be so frustrating for you, why should they make you feel this way? This is your precious daughter - why would you let them treat you and HER this way? Life doesn't have to be this stressful and hard at 13. I felt so strongly about this that I ended up home edding ds2, but you know the story on that one... I am so glad I took the leap. It cost me money, but he is back at school (state school) and life has changed so much for the better because I stopped just believing everything schools told me about MY child.

not suggesting you home ed btw, just that sometimes you have to really shake the issue till it rattles.

. Not the same at all, but I have had to completely ignore what my DCs primary school had to say about both my DCs and their SENs ("they're fine") and do something about it myself, in once case a statement and in the other case tutoring. Yet it's not a bad school at all, for the most part it has been great and I have no regrets about sending them there. It's the system .

Well, I have done bugger all tonight. The DCs are all out of routine. DD has been grumpy and tired all day, then miraculously sprung back into life this evening, we have had a lovely time, but yet again by the time they went to bed about an hour ago I haven't felt like doing wrapping. I've done theirs, but other family stuff is hidden in the same place and with our house being so small, wrapping with them around is not easy. So, best get on with it then.

Best wishes to Zoo and to the poorly MIL
So much stress SC, I agree that school should be supportive not punitive.
I started to emerge from the fog of illness and fatigue and have kept up with the decluttering in the bedroom. Lots of bags of clothing gone to recycling. I even managed to do some clearing out in the loft! Today did a few errands. Starting to feel a little more capable again.

Whoknows to sustain you through the early hours wrapping vigil ... .

Whoknows and Knitting thank you both for your wise words. I really respect what you are saying because I know you have both done heroic battle on behalf of your dcs wrt getting the right educational support for their individual needs. It's interesting that you are both saying the same thing. (And yes, I agree about 'the system' Whoknows.) And fantastic to hear that your ds is back in state school Knitting and doing well!

"Why should they make you feel this way?" I dunno Knitting. I'm confused I suppose. I'm 70% angry with the system and 30% angry with dd I'm afraid. I agree about life not needing to be this hard and utterly joyless (academically speaking) at her age. But I am hitting my head against a brick wall because this is the way it is across the country and other expat students seem to manage; and dd has been here from birth.

They are good teachers on the whole but they are totally intransigent when it comes to putting all the responsibility on the child. They are only there to convey the facts, not to encourage or motivate. It's just the way it is. They look as you as though you are stark raving mad if you dare to criticise it - it is all about resilience and application.

And I guess I am not convinced that dd is trying her best (whether it is through lack of confidence, or boredom or sheer laziness, I just don't know). (She may do 2hrs hwk a night but a good part of that is arguing about it, drawing pretty patterns on book covers and procrastinating.)

And I suppose, I am further confused because dh doesn't share my concerns. He just think dd needs to pull her finger out and all will be well! He is very bright and went to a very competitive, single sex, public school and thrived on competition. He doesn't seem to understand that dd is not remotely motivated in the same way. At the same time, I do trust his opinon. (I think dd is reasonably intelligent, but not a high flyer by any means.) I do know she is not working to her best abilities. And there are other various linguistic issues further complicating the picture. My confusion is rubbing off on dd too and not helping the situation. (I try not to be too angst-ridden about it in front of her of course but she senses my ambivalence towards the system.)

What you have both helped me to be confident about though is that this style of teaching does not suit dd. And I agree that whether it is a liberal school or a more conformist/rigorous institution, it is what suits the child that is the most important. I need to get more "tiger mother" about this I think!

Thank you both again!

Wow that is an impressive list Afreshstart

Haven't wrapped any more presents. Just put overnight washing on and tidied up kitchen. Too tired to think straight now!

G'night all!

Fromwestoeast thank you! And so glad to hear you are feeling stronger. It was a horrid virus that flu wasn't it? Such a relief when a modicum of strength returns. Very impressed that you have kept up bedroom decluttering [SC looks shifty]

Btw, when I referred to conformis/ rigorous school below, I know that liberal schools can provide a very rigorous education too and that the two aren't mutually exclusive.

Sorry, I shall stop wittering on about educational angst now

[Makes haste to naughty corner]

SC that all sounds incredibly stressful. I hadn't realised your daughter had been there so long, I thought you had only moved recently. What happens if she doesn't do well in January, the less academic route (reminds me of old-style public school with the Classical stream ...)

I've had a slightly quieter day today, bit of shopping and met up with friends this evening. Will post the links and catch up properly tomorrow.

The daily summary for Friday (also available on the Flylady website at flight plan which should update automatically each day.

**

Baby-step no 23 - afternoon/get home from work routine

We are in Zone 4 this week: the master bedroom and en-suite if applicable

Spend 15 mins decluttering in Zone 4.

When you have finished decluttering, the detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 4 is here

Mission for Friday clear the floordrobe or wherever your clothing hotspot is!

The daily focus for Friday is: declutter your handbag and car/date night

The monthly habit for December is pampering!

Current Super Cruise Christmas mission

Morning all.chatting dd1 on phone was difficultbut done now.she's popping round 11ish today

After 2.5hrs sleep I woke and couldn't drift off again. 30mins I gave up and git up at 3am
Tadas
Sorted hallway(all shoes now neatly in plastic crate,school bags on top)
Coats hung back up,floor washed

Cats fed

Deep clean front room,moving and decluttering things
Stuck Xmas cards on back doors as keep be knock down by cats strolling along surfaces
Wrap last bits I bought yesterday
Wrote shopping list(food)
Wash liv room floor
Wash kitchen floor
clearing up stray dragged around catmeat.grr
2load wash near ready go in dryer-1st ones dry n fold n put away

Intending go shopping soon.I don't do crowds!!
(PS all zoolets,cept dd2 been up since 5,so wouldn't be drag kids our bed iniddle night)

Bit late to the December party but am starting Flylady again. It was very successful for me in my previous house but has fallen by the wayside since we moved two years ago.

Morning all, welcome to Infinite.

for everyone who needs them.

Did online food shop last night and it will come tonight so am hoping loads of stuff is not out of stock, it fits in the fridge, freezer and that my DM gets a turkey today!!

Ta da:-
Left cards out for DH to sign before he goes to work
Drinking coffee and wondering if too early for a second cup. Have been up late every night this week and starting to feel it now zzzzzzz.

To do:-
Plan for today is to write the last Xmas cards throughout the day as I can't face being up late doing them.

Take DDs out later for haircut

Toying with taking them to toy shop (we have a local one, it won't be horrifically busy and stressful) - is a ridiculous time of year to do it I realise and wary of tempting fate but... drum roll... DD2 has started pooing in pull ups most of them time rather than her pants which is a big breakthrough . Have an ongoing bribe that I'll take both DDs to Build a Bear once DD2 properly potty trained for poos but that feels a long way away and DD1 has suggested we reward this mini breakthrough (of course she has ). Sorry for that TMI ramble there!

Really would like to start some wrapping or another late night beckons.

I'm working til 2 then got to ice the cake, make the stuffing and read my fly lady download

Morning All!

This morning DS is at nursery so it's all go.

Ta da
Got up and dressed
DS off to nursery
Got DP to take his antibiotics (because he doesn't seem to care if he gets pneumonia at Christmas)
Read the instructions for the Christmas present (didn't want to realise on Christmas Eve that I needed a power drill or something)

To do
Make beds
Put washer on
Ring nursery to check DS settled (he was upset this morning because he was shattered after staying up from 1-3am last night)
Vacuum living room
Polish upstairs
Decobweb upstairs
Clean bathroom
Pick up DS from nursery
Grab a Christmas book for Christmas Eve
Wash DS Christmas jumper ready for Sunday

Ta da:-
Most Xmas cards written - need to get DDs to sign some and write a couple tonight.
First load of on.
DM has bought turkey although I am concerned as she said it is massive and I fear it will not fit in our fridge and we will be eating turkey for many days.

Morning all

The first wave of family arrived and commented that the new decorating looked great (after all the work-big yay!). The wrapping is almost finished apart from dh and a couple of presents I'm yet to buy. I accidentally bought glittery paper which was a big error. Bloody glitter everywhere.

Today's a cheat day for entertaining-lunch out then Chinese take away for dinner. I'm going to try and get a few bits sorted for Christmas dinner so when the rest of the family arrive tomorrow there isn't so much to do.

To dos
Pick up meat from butcher
Finish shopping and wrapping
Write and deliver cards to neighbours
Make breadcrumbs, cranberry sauce, gingerbread cake and red cabbage for Sunday
Tidy our room ready for guests to stay in it tomorrow

Ta da

Made beds
Rang the nursery (DS was fine)
Put the washer on
Polished upstairs
Cleaned bathroom
Picked up DS
Smashed phone screen
Got DM and MIL gifts
Had lunch
Wrapped gifts
Tidied living room/playroom
Vacuumed living room/playroom

To do
Cook the lasagne for dinner
Clean up after
Load of washing finished
Dry stuff put away
Mentally prepare self for the grocery shopping tomorrow

Oh no Muppets!!