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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

Original poster

Need help with cleaning and decluttering...

320 replies

withaspongeandarustyspanner · 17/02/2016 09:53

DH is unhappy in our relationship and wants to leaveand has cited my housekeeping/lack of ability to get rid of stuff as a factor. I'm overwhelmed. Don't know where to start.

Any tips?

OP posts:
Sitoff · 07/03/2016 21:47

Oh Sponge that is terrible Flowers. I have no words of advice I am afraid - I guess looking after yourself, the children and your home are all still important to do at the moment.

I hope everyone has a reasonable night's sleep.

PigeonPie · 07/03/2016 22:02

Sponge so sorry to read this. I'm afraid, there's nothing I can help with on the relationships front, but I hope you're able to talk about it with your counsellor. My thoughts are with you.

CiderwithBuda · 07/03/2016 22:13

I am sorry Sponge. Hugs.

Grumpyoldblonde · 08/03/2016 08:35

Oh Sponge, I am sorry to read this update, Take care of yourself.

Sitoff · 09/03/2016 10:01

Still here! Did nothing yesterday but grabbed an hour when I got in to whizz round and make sure the bits I have already done to make sure they do not slip backwards so I was pleased with that. Anyone else needing an audience?

Grumpyoldblonde · 09/03/2016 10:36

I am still here too! Just got loads of work on, I am desperate for a couple of free hours as I have been through my costume jewellery and lots just has to go. Need another book cull and the last of the clothes. Kitchen remains neat as a new pin which pleases me hugely.

Hope Sponge is doing ok, help from Mum and Aunt sounds a really good idea, help and support, just when you need it.

Anyone else about who needs a kick/pat on back?
I will return but must earn some money first. Hope everyone has a productive day Smile

Original poster
withaspongeandarustyspanner · 09/03/2016 20:18

I am still here. I'm still trying to be his friend and connect with him - this was advice from therapist - though she did admit it was 'shit' - she said she doubts there's anything that I can do that will make him stay. He will either go or he won't. Weirdly he's still here though it's very clear he's not happy about it. I'm not sure why he hasn't gone. He's been speaking to his sister-in-law - apparently, he told her he wasn't moving anywhere soon. Hasn't told me this, though.

OP posts:
Original poster
withaspongeandarustyspanner · 09/03/2016 20:19

As far as I know, he could be gone tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
withaspongeandarustyspanner · 09/03/2016 20:22

But then, in the next breath, he's looking at blinds, carpets for the lounge and discussing which patio tiles we're going to have for our patio. And last night, while I cuddled up to him in bed, he grabbed my hand and held on tight to it. Not the first time he's done that.

OP posts:
P1nkP0ppy · 09/03/2016 20:32

You must feel like you're on a tightrope Sponge, very mixed messages which I imagine makes it impossible to plan anything 😟
{{hugs}} and 🍷

Original poster
withaspongeandarustyspanner · 09/03/2016 20:36

I'm dangling on strings on a tightrope over a barrel!

OP posts:
Grumpyoldblonde · 10/03/2016 08:40

Oh Sponge how awful, it must be so horribly confusing receiving these mixed messages, he sounds very confused himself. It's really not fair to keep you dangling like this and I imagine it is far to scary for you to confront him or ask him straight what he plans to do, I mean, as you want your marriage to continue.
I have no wise words for you and can only wish you peace and strength whatever the outcome.

I have yet another bag for the charity shop, this is a very long process, just when I think I am done I soy something else that can go.
I am very busy with work and tired of working and cleaning and shopping and generally being the household project manager. Strong words are needed in this house (again Sad)

Grumpyoldblonde · 10/03/2016 08:41

soy = spy!

Sitoff · 10/03/2016 09:01

Morning everyone. Sponge that is so difficult - how dreadful to be in the house with someone who you feel does not want to be there. Grumpy when you work out how to get the other home dwellers to share the load pop back and share with us all! Back to the paperwork when I have time later.......

Grumpyoldblonde · 10/03/2016 10:51

Another bag gone to charity! Work now (after a bacon sarnie!)

Original poster
withaspongeandarustyspanner · 10/03/2016 16:53

What work do you do Grumpy?

OP posts:
Sitoff · 10/03/2016 17:07

Quite like the idea of a job that involves eating bacon sarnies at 11am although I imagine it is at home so no wonder you want to have a calm tidy environment. Paperwork argh....tempted to throw the whole lot in the bin. I am sure I do not need it but feel the need to check it all.

Grumpyoldblonde · 10/03/2016 17:30

Haha,I was downloading work stuff before 11am, not lazing! telling you what I do would really out me sponge but lets say it is specialized admin (and not very interesting) pays the bills though Smile
Just finished work, thought the house looked a bit messy, but after running the hoover round and wiping the counters all is calm. This decluttering lark is truly eye-opening.

Paperwork is a scary prospect, I need to get all my tax stuff together.
Anyone else had a productive day (or a bacon sarnie?)

Original poster
withaspongeandarustyspanner · 10/03/2016 19:36

I could do with working from home ding specialised admin - I used to work in publishing - I tried to get back into it and working from home doing it would be lovely. Especially because of the bacon sarnies!

It's my day off tomorrow

OP posts:
Sitoff · 10/03/2016 20:19

I am pleased that the prospect of your day off has lifted your mood a little. My paperwork mountain remains although I decluttered the worst file first so the rest of the pile is slightly less daunting. Hope everyone has a productive day tomorrow - any plans?

yetanotherdeskmove · 10/03/2016 21:50

Right work over for the week for me so will get some stuff sorted tomorrow. We're away at mils this weekend though so won't be able to get much done.

Spandexpants007 · 11/03/2016 01:24

Read the Marie kondo book. It's life changing. I've gone from
clutter and hoarding to clear orderly spaces. I got rid of 70% of my stuff and the more I got rid of, the happier and less overwhelmed I became.

Spandexpants007 · 11/03/2016 01:27

Aim to get rid of one black bag of clutter a day. Do more bags daily if you can.

Spandexpants007 · 11/03/2016 01:30

Op sorry thought if read the whole thread but hadn't. Sounds like things are very difficult

Grumpyoldblonde · 11/03/2016 08:04

Spandex I am on the Facebook Kon Mari page, inspiring stuff, lovely bunch of people and a chance to nosy at some gorgeous houses Smile
I have a little work on today so far, tbh I am hoping for a quiet day to get the washing done ahead of the weekend, bar school uniform. I am very much looking forward to putting my feet up with a glass of wine tonight.

Sponge lovely to have a day off, bin bags to the ready?!

I think my stuff is pretty much declutterd, I am hoping the rest of the family follow my lead. My dd is a Primark and soft toy addict. I would also like to get rid of our cd's as we never listen to them, not sure if OH will agree.
The next big push will be the loft and garden but I cant do it alone. Still saving for a new shed, I think I will go with a plastic one of good quality, my neighbour got one 5 years ago and it still looks pristine, wood looks nicer but needs maintenance.
Anyone have plans today?

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