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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

Need help with cleaning and decluttering...

320 replies

withaspongeandarustyspanner · 17/02/2016 09:53

DH is unhappy in our relationship and wants to leaveand has cited my housekeeping/lack of ability to get rid of stuff as a factor. I'm overwhelmed. Don't know where to start.

Any tips?

OP posts:
feelthebenefit · 17/02/2016 14:16

Pp is right when they say its addictive. And my golden rule is once its out its OUT, ie dont leave bags for charity in the hallway, car etc, but take them as soon as you practically can. You wont even remember what was in them a week from now. And if you do, you are strong enough to deal with not having the item any more, and you will get so much more (joy) from the space and order.

Grumpyoldblonde · 17/02/2016 14:24

Good work that woman, and good advice above, you won't miss it I promise, do you feel you have made a dent? Even a little one?
I really need a tip run now, I have had a broken cot under my bed for 10 years but need help with that.

LillianGish · 17/02/2016 14:32

Wow - great progress in one day. Keep up the good work and to avoid a repeat try to operate a one in one out policy if you buy or acquire anything new. Also anything broken should go out straight away - don't put it in the garage, loft wherever, just chuck it out straightaway.

Sitoff · 17/02/2016 14:46

Sponge that is progress - those 4 bags are a start and great to have your mum alongside. I think Kondo gives all sorts of advice about how to sort categories and the order they should be done in but her most helpful suggestion is tackling things which are less sentimental first. Bedding is a great place to start. I found kitchen and bathroom straightforward. As you get more confident it is easier to make decisions.

withaspongeandarustyspanner · 17/02/2016 15:19

Have slowed down now. Floundering. Not sure what to do next.

OP posts:
Grumpyoldblonde · 17/02/2016 15:26

You have done great sponge do you see even a small difference yet?
That's 4 whole bags gone, yay! have you binned anything holey or too bad for charity? have you heaps of cosmetics lying around? I would have a cuppa then go back and have a look at what needs doing next.
If there is stuff on the floor or bursting out of cupboards you still have far too much.
bet you have 50 bath towels?
A new mantra, 'one for each body, one for their hair, the same in the cupboard by way of a spare' -just made that up!!

OurBlanche · 17/02/2016 15:37

Have a cup of tea, remind yourself that whole bin bags of stuff have gone and the house/world is still standing Smile

Then make a start on one area/room to clean until it is totally decluttered and shines. I use the bathroom as my motivation (it is less scary) ... old half bottles of stuff that hasn't been used forever, bin it. Re arrange it, tidy it until everything has a place, then clean it all until it squeaks.

Then, maybe tomorrow, use that success to tackle every single drawer, bag, box, nook and cranny in your worst room. I have posted this a few times, it always works for me:

  1. Take 3 bags/boxes: throw it, keep it, give it away (you will need refills)
  2. Start in one corner of a room and put EVERYTHING into one of the bags/boxes.
  3. Throw away the rubbish bags immediately
  4. Take the give it aways to charity or recycling immediately
  5. Clean the room until it is as clean as a very, very clean thing.
  6. Slowly put everything in the keep bag/boxes into its place. If it does not have a place rethink it. If you want it but don't have a place for it put it in a MIGHT BE bag/box
  7. Do the same for every room
  8. Open the MIGHT BE bag/box and make a final decision on every item.
  9. Have a cup of tea
10. Tell the rest of your family how to keep their space clean and tidy... Smile

If I do it all in one go it takes me a week to do the whole house, loft included. I try to do a room at a time, to save me feeling too overwhelmed.

Sitoff · 17/02/2016 15:54

Maybe an area that would be big impact - the hall if it has piles of discarded items or your kitchen or bathroom if you could clear and wipe round might really make a difference to how things feel. It can not all be done instantly - do not get disheartened you have made a proper start.

withaspongeandarustyspanner · 17/02/2016 16:38

Spare room: another bin bag of clothes filled, another bin bag full of rubbish.

OP posts:
withaspongeandarustyspanner · 17/02/2016 16:40

Another bag of summer clothes for the attic.

OP posts:
Grumpyoldblonde · 17/02/2016 16:40

You are amazing!!
Spare rooms are the danger zone I reckon, dumping grounds for all manner of crap.
How do you feel about all this? Seeing any difference yet?

withaspongeandarustyspanner · 17/02/2016 17:10

I can see a difference and feel it. I feel a bit frantic and wobbly though.

OP posts:
withaspongeandarustyspanner · 17/02/2016 17:10

I've got to do the sideboard in the kitchen family room next. Always fills with crap really quickly.

OP posts:
Grumpyoldblonde · 17/02/2016 17:12

Wow, you are making strides, I am really impressed.

NoCapes · 17/02/2016 17:17

Wow you've done amazing
That is loads of stuff in one day, well done Grin

I would start with the most visible stuff and the rooms that are used most often and/or seen first when you walk in the house
You can throw a million things out of a cupboard but if it was all behind a door to start with once you step back and look it will look no different and you'll get disheartened
Clear surfaces/shelves/bookcases/floors first

dodobookends · 17/02/2016 17:27

Reading this thread with a keen interest as I have a cup of tea whilst taking a break from reorganising about a thousand CD's garnered from all over the house.

Keep going OP, you're doing a fantastic job!

abbsismyhero · 17/02/2016 17:32

okay im joining in i may not return if i don't im under a pile of unsorted shit in my room

BackforGood · 17/02/2016 17:42

Wow! I can't believe how much you have done in one day - would you like to come round and help me ? Grin

One thing I would seriously recommend is to actually literally take stuff out of your house as soon as you've decided it can go. Don't leave it in the hallway or spare room or garage "to take to the charity shop / tip when I have time", but get it gone. I have so many piles of stuff I'm part way through sorting Sad.

I'm very, very impressed with what you've done in just one day.

Grumpyoldblonde · 17/02/2016 17:52

Totally agree with Backforgood once it has gone, it has gone. I am a pretty tidy person, but I have had a really good clear out this week and am half desperate for the bin men to come tomorrow so I can get rid of more crap, I have been really ruthless and feel so much better for it even though I am not a hoarder, just family life brings so much into the house doesn't it, McDonalds toys, party bag rubbish, comics, menus through the door that OH shoves in a drawer (we never have takeout so why keep them?)

withaspongeandarustyspanner · 17/02/2016 19:06

Showed DH the clear (almost empty) airing cupboard. He was well impressed. Now having a drink in the pub!

OP posts:
Sitoff · 17/02/2016 19:20

Congratulations - enjoy your drink. I hope that it is the start of something.....

withaspongeandarustyspanner · 17/02/2016 19:25

There's a long way to go. It's weird after 12 years and 4 DCs to feel like you're starting again and that it could go either way. But it's a start and a positive one at that.

OP posts:
withaspongeandarustyspanner · 17/02/2016 19:37

I can't thank you enough for all your positivity. I couldn't' we done it without your support.

Same time tomorrow?

OP posts:
Sitoff · 17/02/2016 19:43

I'm in! I will try to work alongside you virtually tomorrow but not sure I can manage your energy.

NoCapes · 17/02/2016 19:49

Well done OP you've earned that drink Wine
I'll be here tomorrow Grin see you then