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Housekeeping

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Original poster

Calling all hoarders out there......why?

916 replies

muriel76 · 10/08/2011 17:10

My DH is a bit of a hoarder. Some of his family are the same but particularly his mum, she seems to keep everything. They both like to also display pointless things ie books that will never be/never have been read etc.

Don't get me wrong, it is not a big deal or anything but I do want to understand why. It's hard to understand as my mum is the complete opposite and I am the same. DH and I have agreed to give the house (another!) big clear out and it would help me to hear a hoarder's view!

(Obviously I have talked with him about it many times BTW, I am just looking for other people's more neutral insights)

Thanks for any replies.

OP posts:

AmaraDresden · 14/08/2011 12:58

Oh, and yes I totally empathise with those who need the stuff gone once they've made that decision - if I sort something it has to go straightaway or it will remain shoved somewhere. Therefore Ebay and such is useless to me. DP has to take it to the tip immediately.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 14/08/2011 13:04

If you know are are related to hoaders then read this
My parents are hoarders, the upstairs is completely redundant apart from their bedroom and the bathroom. It makes me so depressed. I can't do anything about it.

CardyMow · 14/08/2011 13:27

Thing is I USED to be much much worse. . I have, over time, and my determination that MY dc would not be brought up they way I was, that I have gone from all-out pathological hoarding to 'just'having a thrifty streak, and not being able to throw certain things away. And in my house - it IS a serious storage issue, the cards that I can't part with in particular. I KNOW they don't need to be kept, but if I recyled them, and then, say, my Granny died, it's nice to be able to look at the cards she has sent me and the dc and reminisce.

Sugarkane · 14/08/2011 13:47

My DP is a nightmare he has even kept the price labels off the clothes he took on holiday with him, when I asked why he said it was because they remind him of the first time he went on holiday abroad and with me. We have cupboards full of his stuff that we cant chuck just in case we need them, some of the boxes havent been touched since we moved in in 2006.

God forbid if I chucked out his labels he checks there still there.

Solo · 14/08/2011 13:51

I've just read a little of that 'MIL' blog and it's made me cry. I have to sort this out. I didn't used to be like this. I hate it. My Dc's must hate it.

halcyondays · 14/08/2011 16:38

Loudlass, you could offer the clothes on Freecycle? I would feel guilty about binning them but I'm a terrible hoarder and sometimes wish I could just bring myself to chuck things out. If I have stuff to get rid of it seems to take me ages to decide what to do with it, whether to try to EBay it, or to give it to someone I know or to a charity shop, I can never decide. I keep things both for sentimental reasons and because it might come in useful. I keep cards too. My dad has boxes of old letters and newspaper cuttings going back 30 years because he "might want to refer to them again"

DaveGrohlsgirl · 14/08/2011 16:51

DHs Grandad was a major hoarder.
When his grandparent moved out of their house (where grandad had lived since he was 4) It took 4 days to clear and then it took me a further 4 days to go through the bags and boxes of stuff he had collected.
DH maintains that his grandad was ahead of his time re - recycling, which is all well and good if he had actually reused anything!!
I found boxes of used envelopes, another box of used stamps, every single bill for all utilities since 1956!!!!
The list is endless............
However, as a piece of social history....quite interesting!!

AmaraDresden · 14/08/2011 17:40

I've just cleared the side of my bed, hoorah! I've filled three bags of books for DP to take to the charity shop tomorrow morning which is both sad and wonderful for the state of the bedroom at the same time. I'm gonna work on this damn house all next week.

AmaraDresden · 14/08/2011 17:40

KenDoddsDadsDog · 14/08/2011 17:49

Nice one! If it wasn't for DH I would be a mega hoarder.

gremlindolphin · 14/08/2011 17:56

Lovely thread.

The interesting thing for me as I've got older is realising that a lot of people have this problem, when I was living at home I just felt that it was only my parents which is a very isolating feeling when you are young.

MabliD · 14/08/2011 18:20

I tend towards the emotional/sentimental type of hoarding. As an example I've got a box of random paperwork under the table from my beloved job that I was made redundant from over two years ago. It needs to go, but I never seem to actually make myself get rid of it. DH is a 'might come in useful' hoarder. His 'play room' (the spare room) is full of DVDs, bits of computer, exercise equipment, broken printers etc. Recently he got rid of quite a bit as he's slowly realising that when bump arrives, the spare room won't be spare or 'his' anymore.

There is a room in my FIL's house that I never knew existed until it was mentioned in passing a few months ago - it is so full of stuff that it is no longer possible to open the door. Hoarding seems to be genetic tendency in DH's family, possibly exacerbated by not having much as children.

DH can be really bad at times. I have found him going through bins to get stuff I have thrown away, as he could find a use for an odd, holey sock; or there's half a squeeze of toothpaste left in the tube. I find it mildly creepy.

nickelbabe · 15/08/2011 11:24

sometimes I bloody hate MN.

I made DH help me clear out the airing cupboard and a coupld of drawers because of this bloomin' thread.
We got rid of loads of flat sheets ( because we mainly use fitted ones) and a coupld of duvet sets - we got sheets and thigns from when we cleared out his mum's house, but then we were also given a couple of duvet sets for wedding presents last year, so we've chucked the ones that we got from his mum's (and one old one of his) - so we now have only 3 duvet sets, with pillow cases, and 3 fitted sheets.
I thought about getting rid of some towels, but we both agreed that it would be a plan to hold onto them all because of the birth (we'll probably throw some out once they're covered in baby gunk! )

and we also threw out loads of his old work clothes, and made sure that we had enoug hold clothes (a couple of jumpers and a pair of overalls) for scruffy work, which now have a special place in the wardrobe.
We also managed to get rid of a couple of blankets, some old teeshirts, we put another couple of "keepsake" teeshirts into his normal run.
We filled 3 of those big charity bags!

nickelbabe · 15/08/2011 11:26

ooh, yes, the pyjamas!
We both seemed to have about 8 pairs each!
so, we now have 3 pairs each.

Goodynuff · 15/08/2011 17:10

good job nickelbabe (and your DH)! It always feels better when you've done it

nickelbabe · 15/08/2011 17:26

I did feel quite smug

Poshbaggirl · 15/08/2011 18:53

Wow Nickel! Thats fantastic, well done! I've only managed to empty my office bin into the recycling so far. But i have used some hoarded favourite fabric to make curtains for my teeny tiny noo caravan! Yay!

Poshbaggirl · 15/08/2011 18:54

Have you got your sights on anywhere else? Really good to do one place and then take the stuff away. Good on you for taking it to the Charity shop.

cat64 · 15/08/2011 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Goodynuff · 15/08/2011 19:09

ok, I'm off to try to tackle my closet

sidMILB · 15/08/2011 19:51

You will be okay. Just do. A little bit each day. Try here: flylady.net. She helped me, too.

Do not leave your children this legacy.

Poshbaggirl · 15/08/2011 20:16

I cut the grass........and put it in the compost....

Not procrastinating.....honest

Poshbaggirl · 15/08/2011 20:18

.......and chucked the DP out!

Solo · 15/08/2011 22:14

You could've composted your Dp too Poshbaggirl!!

CardyMow · 15/08/2011 22:20

Paperwork is a sore point for me, it was chucked into binbags in the loft for the last 7 years. I had 9 of them at the start of the hols. I have culled it, sorted it and put it in my (new) filing cabinet, and have done 5 bags so far. Having a 2 week rest, then will work on the other 4 bags.

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