Calling all hoarders out there......why?

[muriel76]

My DH is a bit of a hoarder. Some of his family are the same but particularly his mum, she seems to keep everything. They both like to also display pointless things ie books that will never be/never have been read etc.

Don't get me wrong, it is not a big deal or anything but I do want to understand why. It's hard to understand as my mum is the complete opposite and I am the same. DH and I have agreed to give the house (another!) big clear out and it would help me to hear a hoarder's view!

(Obviously I have talked with him about it many times BTW, I am just looking for other people's more neutral insights)

Thanks for any replies.

ASolitaryDiamond: OH, a small home...yep... For the first several months when I moved into bachelor DP place, I had no livingroom. His previous livingroom became my bedroom....

I couldn't imagine a 14yr and 5yr old sharing a room!!

I think I trace it to my poor(ish) but proud make do and mend childhood.
Basically I think it's because I feel it may come in handy later
Trying to get out of the habit. Thought I had but unread classic on bookshelf struck a chord!!

No serene I say this from experience! My exh used to do that very thing to me! I found a brand new M&S skirt in a bin liner once just for instance, almost finished hand knitted stuff...I'm not being facetious at all, I'm sorry you think that I am.

Mother2 no, not a small home, just a two bedroomed home. Don't get me wrong, it's not huge, but I do have a separate lounge and dining room.

Zombies I know the poor but proud, make do and mend thing too...I remember it well and I still live by it in a lot of my life. I've darned knickers, sewn up holes in socks etc...and everything may come in handy later.

What bugs me is going to someone's house and having them complain about how messy it is....Meanwhile, I am looking around thinking it looks amazing! lolol

Me too! Mother2 I always say something like 'I wish mine was this messy!!!'

The weekend was quite productive for me. I now have a clear ceiling in the Dc's bedroom (they had a circus tent bedroom), with all the fabrics and fairy lights being removed. I also dismantled Dd's bed and sorted a bit in the room.

Today I've been trying to sort, organise and clean my kitchen. I washed two pairs of kitchen curtains, washed the curtain pole and rings and re hung it all, washed the tiles down (completely tiled kitchen) and got rid of a massive amount of dust and cobwebs! I sorted out quite a bit of the kitchen too, but still have loads more to do in there! I did several loads of washing and had my ailing dishwasher on twice!

More tomorrow!!!

I really need to pull out my sewing machine and fix some things, and make some things... (have to set it on table)

big fear is the sewing machine will remain there until fall... LOLOLOL

Hehehe!!mine does that too! and my ironing board and iron! mind you, I don't have an actual place/space to store my ironing stuff...

Been busy again today, but feel like not much done tbh, despite hardly stopping!
Loads to do tomorrow, but I'm keeping going :)

Been up in the loft today and I'm exhausted!!! sorted out a good bit of it and made some decisions about some of the stuff up there too. It was blooming hot up there and full of dust and cobwebs!! I came down looking a right state .

Tomorrow there is more to do; I am going to dismantle a couple of wardrobes and will be using them as boarding in part of the loft. I'm bloody knackered, but I'm glad things are happening :)

Solo Great to hear how well you are doing kids room kitchen AND attic. You go girl [Grin]

I have sorted the garden toys and not done much else.

DH has yet to finish the living room despite working extremely hard as the DIY he has done, resulted in coming across other jobs that need doing which are more urgent IYSWIM. So DIY supplies are spread around the house mainly kitchen bathroom and hall but the clutter is getting me down.

Roll on the weekend !

Ok, I didn't do the wardrobes, but I did sort out most of the kitchen, which isn't a bad thing, but then I had to take delivery of a cupboard for my towels and bathroom spares even though it's too early to have it in the house; the lady I bought it from is moving today (Friday), so I had to get it now! I'm not able to even put it in its place, as on Monday, I'm getting sliding wardrobe doors that will act as a wall in the middle of the larger room for the Dc's. I desperately need a big shed so I've got a space to put things whilst I'm sorting!!!
Going to see about dismantling one of the old wardrobes and getting the sides and doors up into the loft; that should create a little storage space though I'll have to tidy up some more and sort out up there ~ a massive job!

Babies it sounds like you are on top of things there and yes, the clutter is there, but it's just temporary :)

Completely exhausted. Dismantled 2 of three wardrobes today with the help of a friend (had to tidy up the stairs and bathroom before I could let him in and close living room and my own bedroom doors ).
Got a few things put into the loft, but I desperately need to get the remainder sorted so that I'm able to store more and more evening up there.

Things are certainly happening :)

• more evenly! (weight distribution!!)

Still working on it all :) though it's completely exhausting me. Been up in the loft today sorting out and organising/moving boxes etc. Not thrown much out yet, but I'm determined to go through my boxes of mags to take out all the patterns I saved them for and then recycle the magazines...that will feel like a big achievement.
Kitchen a bit tidier but, needs organising again.
I'm keeping on keeping on.

Am I the only one here?

No, I'm still lurking on here. Just not doing much atm. I really need to get moving, I'll try and do something tomorrow, even if it is only a small thing. I need to get my mojo back.

Sounds like you are doing well. But you don't need a shed..it wouldn't be a temp storage, it would fill up with stuff never to be moved....we both know it ;)

Hehehe!! No, I'm going to put all my stashes of fabric and knitting yarns in it, plus bikes and garden furniture/tools ('tis a big shed!). I know it'll be tempting to throw stuff in there, but it's really because I have no storage space indoors and with only two bedrooms and two different sex Dc's 8 years apart...I need storage space!

LOL, who am I to spoil your fun. I NEED storage too ;)

I did loads of housework/DIY today and now paying for it with a bad back. House looks better for it :)

My best friend's mum keeps everything - and I mean literally EVERYTHING.

They live in a huge Edwardian house but there isn't a single clear/clean room. In her own sitting room, there's a tunnel/passage through to where she sits, and another passage so she can see the TV, and that's it. Everywhere else there are piles of papers, cardboard, clothes, toys, broken stuff, books, magazines, old furniture, litters - everything.

There are rooms so full of stuff you can't enter them. It's a beautiful, beautiful house in an area most people would envy but it's the same in every single room.

Once my friend and her dad managed to get into one of the barricaded rooms. They found bin liners full of chicken bones, tin lids and polystyrene pizza bases. They took them all out to the rubbish and when her mum returned from work, she took them all back in again.

Where do you get help for that?

Babies my back is hurting too... :( I have sciatica and my hips hurt ~ blooming painful.
Today, I've got lots of our clothing folded up and Dd's drawers sorted and tidied. My washing machine died last week and my tumble dryer died this morning...waiting for the third thing but stuck as A. I have no money to get them looked at and B. I couldn't ask anyone in yet to see if they can be fixed.
Things are definitely changing here though and improving a bit. Just got to keep on plodding through it all :)

SRS we understand. I'm not sure that there is anyone on this thread that is quite as bad as your friends Mum, but it's easy for us to understand because we could easily step over that line into the very bad.

And unless she wants to do it for herself, there's no help to be had :(

I'm so annoyed! Built foundations to fit my 8' x 10' shed, but the shed is not 8' wide, it's 7' 7 1/2" wide trying to get some sort of refund because I've now got to buy more building materials to a) make another foundation and b) to fill in and somehow make attractive the bit that will stick out further than the shed. I could scream!! wanted to be filling up my shed today.

Solo, Annoying when you didn't end up with what you expected, shed size wise...but don't worry about the bit sticking out. A couple of pots with flowers will cover it and if that looks too sparse some nice gravel direct on the cement between the pots.

SRS, I'm sorry to hear about your mums situation. Does your mum understand her hoarding habits are not normal ? Does she want to change ? A counsellor to talk through her underlying issues would be a start if she would be willing to attend.

Yes I know, but I now need to find more money to make the foundations further in iyswim? I'm waiting for a reply to my rather fuming email with photos!

I used to hoard, not massively, through insecurity. I'm now culling with a vengeance and teaching the DDs ( aged 10) to do the same. Culling, not hoarding. There are some things I plan to keep, concert programmes & ticket stubbs, but no train tickets

We moved abroad, after moving loads of times in Britain. After receiving our 40 foot container OH bought more furniture, empty house in UK = no insurance, and then transported it here, in a 20 foot container. There are only four of us and two of those are children. It's madness.

AB I think a lot of hoarders do it through insecurity or maybe like me, it's being made to feel insecure that gets it spiralling out of control.

I need to occupy myself with other things being as I can't start filling the shed so I will get on with the loft and the rest of the house.

Still doing...was in the loft again this afternoon. Getting there :) yes ~ I am!

Well! the loft is looking different! I'm almost there with it. It's a big job which is hindered by the pitch of the roof. My knees, hips and fingers hurt along with my tennis elbow! I reckon another few hours up there and I can start to sort a bit more to go up there (tidily!!!).
Shed still not up due to the incompetence of the shed seller . Hoping to have it up before the weekend, so fingers crossed! once that's up and secure, I can get all my boxes of fabric into it which will make much room indoors! then I can really get to it if I can summon up the energy required!! and sort out, get Dd's toys/bike etc into it, put Ds's books in there temporarily, his desk and chair...I'll have more room to mooooooove!!!