Calling all hoarders out there......why?

[muriel76]

My DH is a bit of a hoarder. Some of his family are the same but particularly his mum, she seems to keep everything. They both like to also display pointless things ie books that will never be/never have been read etc.

Don't get me wrong, it is not a big deal or anything but I do want to understand why. It's hard to understand as my mum is the complete opposite and I am the same. DH and I have agreed to give the house (another!) big clear out and it would help me to hear a hoarder's view!

(Obviously I have talked with him about it many times BTW, I am just looking for other people's more neutral insights)

Thanks for any replies.

Helloooo!
Posh what's this about a ring? did I miss something?!

Nickel thanks for the book storage tips.

I have been busy today. I've half sorted some of the sitting room and kitchen. It looks terrible but I will have to keep going in the morning as the ADT man is due in the PM. I can see more sitting room floor and it needs a damned good vacuum. I feel quite ashamed. Got to sweet/vac the hall and kitchen in the morning too...drag loads of crap into the dining room and...close the door . I'm not giving up now though; it will be done! I have 2 carriers of clothes for friends Dd (not seeing her til next week) 1 bag of charity shop clothes and 1 of shoes.

Onward clearing hoaaarders...

SWEEP!!! not sweet

poshbaggirl - your best bet is to get a DVD recorder, then play your video on the telly, and record it to the DVD whilst it is playing.

then you can get rid of any videos.

Solo, I mentioned last week that as part of the phycological clearout I might as well sell my engagement ring. It was a replacement one as we were burgled, so it wasn't THE actual one, plus divorced and skint, so better to pay the rent eh?

I want to start a new business. The Ultimate Clearout Company. You hire our storage facility for £X per week, take all the clutter there and we help you tackle it. What do you think you would pay for that service? £100 per week?

Ah! yes Posh I remember now and yes, good idea and that business idea sounds gooood! impressed! though it would take a lot of guts for people to admit they need the service. I would love it, but I wouldn't have the guts to actually use it iyswim?

Anyway, today I have been very busy, not stopping until now! kitchen is a bit better, certainly a bit cleaner, but still much to do. The dining room...hmmmmmmmm...mess. I will be tackling it and the sitting room next though, just probably not today.

I sorted all the bathroom boxes out, chucked a bin bag of old things and put the rest in a small number of boxes/containers. So once the bathroom's chest of drawers is emptied, it will only take 2 minutes to get everything neatly in the drawers.

I filled the bookcases moved to our room with my reduced pile of books and cleared two boxes of stuff. Only two more boxes to sort and I can move my running machine into our room and start using it.

My aerobatics teachers said I should start by jogging for 5 minutes. If I feel OK then walk for a couple of minutes and jog for another 5 minutes. So I'll try that tomorrow when running machine is in place.

No more tidying for me today (apart from the kitchen after tea) it is Friday and I am looking forward to chilling out with a beer later :)

So how is everyone else doing ?

DH sorted out bathroom door so it no longer sticks and took off our bedroom door (and replaced it) to enable him to move our running machine into our room.

The landing is now clear !

A friend came around to buy an old games console off us and I used my share of the money to buy a pair of running trainers and ordered a sports bra.

So gulp I'll try and have a go of running on Monday. I am starting the 'couch to 5k' MP3 training exercises for running on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Tuesday and Thursday I already do exercise classes.

Yay! Babies!

I have all but sold the car seat and steriliser (delivering it later). I've just sold a big bag of toys (being collected tomorrow). Not done much else today...

Excellent, what are you doing with the money you have got ? Something nice I hope ?

Well done babies, you're doing so well! Just keeping at it. (sorry nc -posh in disguise)
I feel overwhelmed with the trauma of the task. Doing our second car boot tomorrow. But just feel anxious and nervy and tearful. I could just charity shop the lot, but to be honest i need the money DDs school bus is £15 a week and i need to find the cash from somewhere.
Its all too much. I wish i had some help

evening all, I have bagged up 4 loads of clothes for charity and 2 for car-boot! I have found stuff that is 15 years ld but I have not worn for more than 10 years!

Weevil, good luck tomorrow, you'll be ok once the money starts coming in. I am going to do 2 more bootsales and then take everything to the charity shop.

DH is ebaying our cycling machine, hurrah. I have stubbed my toes on it so often. The house looks like a bomb has hit it but I am getting there. I start back in work a week monday after 9 monts maternity leave. I must break the back of this before then.

The money will be swallowed up in bills I would think. Ho hum!

Big bag of toys... SOLD!!! and gone!

Thanks duelling! It was OK! I thought if we did £30, it would be worthwhile, we did £32.50! Which is alot of 50p and £1's! 8.30-11.30, so not mental!
The weather was dry and the washing had dried by the time i got home!
It feels like we've opened a door now and that stuff is and will be shifting. Theres a car boot 12-3 next sunday in a nearby village, so gonna give that a go.
De-toxed the utility, now some ironing.
Just have to say......i love you lot. :-)

I don't know how I managed to miss this thread for the past month in spite of looking at MN every day... Especially since it was about the time the thread was starting I actually started decluttering seriously. Found the thread yesterday and have finally finished reading all 590+ messages - interesting in that it made me think about why I'm a hoarder. Part of it is family: my Mum's motto was "waste not, want not" which I think was a slogan during war-time and post-war rationing, and part of it is the fact that because I moved about 20 years ago to DH's country, I've been very homesick and seem to have kept an awful lot of stuff for sentimental reasons.
Since last month, I have :

• decluttered several cupboards in the kitchen and dining room;
• sorted out bedlinen which I've never used because I don't have a kingsize duvet: will take it to DD1 when I next visit her, because she does;
• cleared several months work of paperwork off the old kitchen table in my office...

The fact that I have my grandparents' kitchen table in my office speaks volumes about the family inability to throw things out: when my parents moved from a big family house into a much smaller place they filled a shipping container with old furniture and sent it to us to furnish our newly built house. The kitchen table was too big for our kitchen, but had to be kept: it was made for my grandparents when they married, and when we moved it I found the date and the carpenter's name written inside the frame and realised the carpenter was one of my Grandpa's old comrades... how could I throw that out? DH wants the computer now so have to stop now, but wanted to say how happy I am to have found the thread : feel inspired by all of you! 'I am a hoarder, but I'm going to do something about it to simplfy my life and improve my immediate environment for my own sanity and for the good of those who share my life and space'

Awww longway, i love your table story! Thats fab! My ancient dining room table was bought by my grandmother and she used it as her desk for years, i love the depth of character and the karma it oozes. (i'm poshbaggirl with a name change coz didnt like that name)
Welcome to our club! We look forward to hearing your stories and holding your hand through the process.

Thank you weevils! DH said the guys at the customs when he went to collect the container were baffled - why hadn't my parents sold the stuff in the UK and sent us the money, instead of sending old furniture? Some of it (but not very much!) is Victorian, and they just shoved everything else in to fill up the spaces. It's hard to throw out stuff that's had so much effort put into preserving it!

Much easier to throw stuff out when you haven't had it all that long... I am ruthless about getting rid of electrical equipment that doesn't work, it's DH who believes in holding on to it in case someone can repair it.

I realised after posting that the plan to pass on unused bedlinen to DD1 is actually a continuation of the family (bad?) habit. I will at least ask her beforehand if she wants the stuff. Am also planning to pass on my small stock of Christmas ornaments to her now that she's buying a house! (Haven't used them here since the children left home - giving away my age there - you can't get proper Christmas trees here and it seems silly putting up decorations just for me.)

Advice needed: I have several files of documents relating to an association that I used to be treasurer of, which was wound up in 2006 because the few members could no longer keep it going. I'd like to throw the stuff out, but wonder whether I should at least keep the bank statements and financial reports for 10 years after the association closed? Any ideas? In this country companies have to keep all tax-related documents for a minimum of 10 years, but I don't think there are any explicit regulations about associations.

Hi LongWayRound well done at your decluttering efforts! :) and I'm so glad you've kept the table! it would've been a crime in my opinion to have thrown it or passed it to someone unrelated! do you think your Dc's will want it when you want to pass it on? I hope so! even though I know it's a clutter issue. I just think that family furniture is the stuff to keep in the family!

I sold the car seat and steriliser this weekend, plus bag of toys = £40. Not much really, but there is space in my porch (which currently has a computer desk in it ). I have much, much more to do, but I really can see a difference :)

Meant to say that I would keep the financial stuff LWR just in case.

So, what do you think? pass your curser over my name

I am joining this thread as an 'almost' reformed hoarder, but one with an interest in the psychology of clutter, hoarding etc.

My own hoarding history is around sentimental items (drawings, ornaments, school stuff, toys, letters) and mostly took place in my teen, student years and early twenties. I can see why it happened. My parents were war babies and my dad very much liked to stock up on packets of biscuits, tins of fruit etc. We would go to the supermarket at the weekend and buy 8 or 10 loaves of bread for the freezer. Sensible enough, but probably giving us children the message that it is good to have lots of stuff in case of emergency. On the other hand, my mother was very much into creative play and liked us to have lots of creative objects, craft materials etc. Our house was large and we had plenty of storage space for whatever we wanted. On the other hand, the family didn't have a large cashflow, so she would keep clothes, toys etc stored away for when we would grow into them. Not to mention enjoying a trip to the bric-a-brac stall - as did we all!

By the time I was in my mid-late teens I was aware that I had quite a lot of stuff compared to my friends, but it still wasn't a problem. However, when I was about 19 my parents began to talk about downsizing and, fairly suddenly, sold up and we moved into a smaller rented house while their retirement house was being found. Once the move was imminent, I literally had to pile all this sentimental childhood stuff into boxes. A few went to the retirement house and quite a lot came with me to my student room in halls of residence. I literally had a pile of boxes in my room with a few shawls thrown over them.

These boxes came with me to my first flat, then to my second flat, where they stayed unopened. I never had time to go for the big sort-through and it became harder and harder as time went on, mostly because one of my parents was now terminally ill and I didn't want to stir up memories.

In the end I bit the bullet just before my wedding (age 27) and hired a de-clutterer to help me tackle those boxes. It was painful but worth every penny I paid her. I had just realised that I didn't want to move those boxes to yet another place I lived and somehow felt that I should start my married life free of them.

From that point on I began to make conscious decisions about what to buy and keep. My sentimental items are now in 2 neat IKEA boxes. I have charity-shopped so many clothes that I actually don't have enough trousers to wear. I still have a lot of old files to tackle and then need to start on some household stuff, but I feel it is under control. I can now begin to imagine a day on the horizon when I will feel that I have everything in its rightful place. I am now also very conscious of other people trying to offload stuff onto me - my sister is one for this since I had a baby - but if I don't want it then I just say no.

I think until you begin this process it is difficult to understand just how destructive too much clutter can be. I hope no-one minds me pointing this out, but a lot of people on this thread have mentioned being skint. Sadly, a lot of this stuff cluttering up our homes had to be paid for at one point or another... Is there a relationship between clutter and not having enough money for the things you really need?

I really support everyone on this thread and am behind what you are trying to do.

Thanks BranchingOut :) that is a thought provoking post.

Personally, I'm skint because I have no money...I am not really a shopper or buyer, but just like to keep hold of what I already have. I do occasionally buy the odd piece of china from a charity shop and maybe get something 'I can use' from Freecycle, but I've actually got to the point ~ and some time ago too, where I see the offer, think 'oooh!' and then press delete. I am improving and I can see that I am. I do still have a long way to go though.

Fair enough - I can see that having little money to start with is a good reason for being skint.

Just coming back to add - I mentioned that at the moment I probably don't have enough trousers to wear. However, I am actually finding this easier than if I had a wardrobe full of trousers but couldn't see the good ones for the bad. I just have to wear them an extra day sometimes! :)

Oh dear, you've reminded me about clothes. When I was pg, I went through my wardrobe & got rid of everything I didn't like/never wore & bagged up the rest. DD2 is almost 5 months old now & I need to do something about them soon!
I always seem to have loads of clothes, but no outfits IYKWIM. Does anyone know if you can get personal shopper type people to help you fill the gaps in your wardrobe & make the most of what you've got? (and stop me buying more stuff that doesn't "go" with anything else I own!)