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Original poster

Calling all hoarders out there......why?

916 replies

muriel76 · 10/08/2011 17:10

My DH is a bit of a hoarder. Some of his family are the same but particularly his mum, she seems to keep everything. They both like to also display pointless things ie books that will never be/never have been read etc.

Don't get me wrong, it is not a big deal or anything but I do want to understand why. It's hard to understand as my mum is the complete opposite and I am the same. DH and I have agreed to give the house (another!) big clear out and it would help me to hear a hoarder's view!

(Obviously I have talked with him about it many times BTW, I am just looking for other people's more neutral insights)

Thanks for any replies.

OP posts:
HorseHairKnickers · 12/09/2011 17:33

No idea Bessie re the clothing gap shopper...unless you can collar Gok Wan. If you do, give me a call Grin I'll be the tea maker

BranchingOut · 12/09/2011 18:11

Post on style and beauty about that - lots of people on there rate the services in big department stores.

HorseHairKnickers · 12/09/2011 18:21

But do they take your current wardrobe into account? or just give you a whole new one?

Babieseverywhere · 12/09/2011 19:37

Solo AKA HorseHairKnickers, More stuff gone ! I am not surprised it is making a difference.

weevilswobble, Very cool, £30 for 3 hours light work plus all those lovely things out of your house and into someone elses house :)

LongWayRound, Welcome, welcome :) Love the oath, sounds like you are going to have your house straight in no time.

Re your documents files, if you had access to a scanner or some companies will do it for you. You could scan all documents on a cd/pc backed up online and throw the paper away ?

BranchingOut Welcome to you too. I haven't even tackled any of the hard emotional stuff yet. I have just piled it up next to my wardrobe as a later/last bit of decluttering.

Hopefully I'll be better at it by the time I come to tackle it.
I am ignoring any posts about clothes, as I'm worried about my underbed clothes mountain but it will be dealt with soon/ish.

Babieseverywhere · 12/09/2011 19:56

Achieved Goals
NEW WARDROBE UP AND FILLED IN KID'S ROOM :)
Upstairs landing still clear
Laundry up to date and ironed
Kitchen decluttered and clean (want to rearrange cupboards but trying to hold of whilst other things need doing)
Kids room decluttered and clean

Areas to work on next
Downstairs hall full of books/DVD to get rid of and under stairs cupboard.
Dining room table full of craft stuff to be reduced and put away.
Living room chest of drawers need sorting

That is enough to be getting on with

weevilswobble · 12/09/2011 19:58

Babies, the oath was written last week in response to a new member. I wrote it (as poshbaggirl) to summarise what we're all about. You have sworn the oath havent you?!

Babieseverywhere · 12/09/2011 20:47

Found it, only 2 weeks late ;)

I am a hoarder, but I'm going to do something about it to simplfy my life and improve my immediate environment for my own sanity and for the good of those who share my life and space

HorseHairKnickers · 13/09/2011 00:13

Holds hand up and states:
"I am a hoarder, but I'm going to do something about it to simplfy my life and improve my immediate environment for my own sanity and for the good of those who share my life and space"

Well, I have to tell you, I can hardly get into my dining room again, I can't sit down anywhere in my sitting room either. Everywhere is stacked with stuff but!!! I can see the kitchen floor :) we even had to sit on the kitchen floor to eat dinner tonight a there's nowhere else right now!!! I will be working on some of that tomorrow!!! how embarrassing Blush

weevilswobble · 13/09/2011 08:27

I just need to remind myself that this process is not about eliminating all the moments and things and feelings that have made me who i am today, but focusing on treasuring those moments and feelings by clearing out alot of the debris that clouds the treasured bits.

Babieseverywhere · 13/09/2011 08:34

You will get there. Two weeks ago you could not of got further than a metre into our spare room. Now it is a spacious children room for three kids !

Rooms definitely get worse before they get better. Which is why we can't eat at our dining room (for the same two weeks) But I'm going to have the table clear by Friday. :)

Babieseverywhere · 13/09/2011 08:36

Well said Weevils.

HorseHairKnickers · 13/09/2011 15:08

Gave friend another bag of girls clothing today! more to go!!!

Ungratefulchild · 13/09/2011 15:50

Ok, I have almost finished Ds2's room. Have a load of stuff to sell, have chucked/given a lot away. Finding it hard to the last, final tidy up bit though.

I have been in the garage and removed 2 binbags of crap and put in the bin. I have also removed a bag of old clothes and have sorted some of these out. I've spent an hour or so in our dressing room today (sounds posh bit is basically a bigish cupboard full of even more crap) and have sorted out a teeny bit.

Finding it hard to be ruthless!

Babieseverywhere · 13/09/2011 16:26

Ungratefulchild I like the sound of the dressing room, it does sound posh. If I had one, I would say 'my dressing room' all the time, LOL

Took 5 massive bags of books to the book shop. Good News she'll take some for £10. Bad news she is not interesting in the others, so they need recollecting and taking to the charity shop.

Yeah HHK

My downstairs hall looks clearer. I have moved the dvd's into the living room need to be checked and packed so I can get rid of them.

Also bought another pair of trainers for aerobics, as my old pair developed holes. My new pair are white/orange ! but cheap, cheerful and fit me :)

weevilswobble · 13/09/2011 17:51

Ungrateful, can you sort all clothes into categories? When you see a pile of 7 prs of jeans and 25 t shirts and 30 jumpers its easier to take each pile and take out a few least favourites from each catagory. Rather than taking each item on its own merits, where you can easily justify keeping it.

RedRubyBlue · 14/09/2011 09:38

I used to have my own little business of decluttering and now I wonder why I gave it up.

I have spent the last week helping a friend pack up her six bedroomed house. She is moving to a three bed semi.

She has thrown nothing away in over 20 years and seems to think 'she can store stuff in the garage of the new place, get a loft conversion and extend the kitchen'!

She is not really 'downsizing' is she?

All that is going to happen is the garage will be stuffed to the rafters with unopened boxes for years!

This is the 'stuff' she needs to hang onto.

FIVE dinner services! FOUR teasets! A piano (never played), four sofas and enough books to challenge the stock of the British Library.

Her adult children also want her to store 'their' stuff becuase they cannot bear to part with the Barbies and Beano annuals but they don't want the crap in their houses.

Moving day is going to prove 'interesting'.

Lucky I love the old bag Grin

BellaneyMimphus · 14/09/2011 10:51

My mum hoards, and I think (pop psychology!) it's because she never felt wanted and grew up poor. I think her parents liked to say she was the reason they couldn't afford things.

For example she has multiples of everything you might need for a home, it makes her feel better that she could set up home several times over.

She collects things and keeps them because they "will" increase in value, and she likes to show her good judgement in collecting valuable things, except that any normal person can see they are only going to give a small return and in the meantime she has to look at them (horrid china etc).

She has the raw materials to make clothing, furnishings, jewellery, boxes of it. It shows she is capable and thrifty, in her mind.

If anyone ever needs anything, she can give it to them from her massive stash of items. So she feels generous and like she is a community resource. Unfortunately she hasn't got a quality filter, so if you say you need a large Le Creuset oven dish she will go away and come back with a small pyrex one from Poundland, it's just the way she is but she feels useful.

She buys things constantly and it has been the work of many years to stop her from passing things on to me, bags of stuff every time she visits. Horrible smelly cosmetics, random spatulas, bits of fabric. I have no room now and have given her some things back. It feels very sad.

Ungratefulchild · 14/09/2011 13:35

That makes sense weevil but i still find it hard. I've sorted clothes into colours which helps me to see I have too much of certain things but can't quite chuck all that i don't need.

Babieseverywhere · 14/09/2011 14:05

I have a clear dining room table !

At 9.30am this morning I started sorting the massive heap of craft boxes filled with stuff with my mother (excellent chucker of stuff).

By 1.30pm the craft stuff has been packed nicely into my new craft wardrobe and three drawers in my living room.

The dining room looks so much better :)

This afternoon I am working on a laundry basket of random stuff (from living room chest of drawers) hopefully most can be chucked.

Plus green frog pop up box of shoes to go on shoe rack or be chucked.

Keep plugging away, we'll all have lovely decluttered houses at the end !

BerylStreep · 14/09/2011 17:04

I'm a bit of a hoarder, but getting better.

I think for me, the reason behind it is that when I was growing up, my dad walked out on all of us, and we had zero money. On face value, we lived in an extremely wealthy area, in a fabulously large house, but we lived very frugally. I was one of the eldest of my siblings, and when I think back to my childhood, I remember feeling very stressed and responsible for our family finances.

DH never wanted for anything when he was young, so I don't think he has the same issues. Although we have every possible type of cable, connector and other electrical junk you could possibly dream of - we could open our own branch of Maplin.

I have great intentions of selling on e-bay, but have never actually sold anything. Ditto with freecycle - DH doesn't like the idea of random people coming to the house. I have started to send some things to charity shops, and love passing things on to people, knowing they will be used some more. Going to the dump stresses me a bit, as I see all the other, perfectly good stuff, that other people throw out.

mirpuppet · 14/09/2011 17:20

Freecycle not so bad I make sure DP is home with me and just bring item to the door. I recommend not getting into conversations with the collectors either before or after just come and get it and what time.

bessie26 · 14/09/2011 19:06

I used to be full of good intentions of ebaying or freecycling stuff, but I just ended up with piles of stuff waiting for me to deal with, so now it all goes in the charity bags we get put through the door. It would be nice to get the extra cash, but for now I'll have to make do with the good karma!

weevilswobble · 14/09/2011 19:16

I have a car load to go to the tip tmrw, only a few items, but bulky. I rescued a bookcase that school was chucking out, and stashed it away ( well it was solid and made of good quality wood) but its someone elses junk, and two stools that were broken. I'm never going to get round to mending them. Its a bit further forward....

Babieseverywhere · 14/09/2011 20:17

Yeah weevilswobble. Bet getting rid of these bulky items has made a nice space somewhere in your house ?

weevilswobble · 14/09/2011 20:48

As part of my business i have an industrial unit/ warehouse. Its a glorious place for putting stuff! So it was there, but we're moving the warehouse to nearer my home in oct, so clearing out to save the embarrasment of the removal men seeing my junk! But yes indeed, there is a lovely tidy bit now, where i have also cleared all the useful bits of cardboard and other tat from!