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Home ed

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Original poster

why aren't more people open-minded about HE?

144 replies

BeNimble · 26/02/2009 07:02

why can't they be?

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfGhosts · 26/02/2009 07:53

No idea.

Do you mean open to the idea of home edding their own kids (their choice), or accepting of other people home edding theirs (who cares what others think) ?

chatterbocs · 26/02/2009 08:35

Why aren't people open minded about a lot of things? As the saying goes "nowt as queer as folk"

Original poster
BeNimble · 26/02/2009 08:43

i mean 'accepting of other people home edding theirs'

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfGhosts · 26/02/2009 08:48

Oh. do people really care how others educate their kids? How odd of them. It doesn't matter to me if other people choose to educate their children at home, what impact does it have on my life for me to give a fuck?

I am always amazed by people who actually care enough about things (unimportant things, not murder or war or stuff!) that do not affect their lives to have a go about it. I mean why?? I don't get it.

The most I would say to someone IF they asked me for my opinion, is it doesn't appeal to me, so I won't be doing it, but I don't give a crap if you do, as long as you don't want me to help!

Original poster
BeNimble · 26/02/2009 09:15

thanks chatterbocs.
your very simple post has put me back on track!!

hecateQueen ? so you're open minded. But what with the 'aggressive tone'? you must give a fuck about things that don't impact on your life or you'd not have taken the time to post to me.

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfGhosts · 26/02/2009 09:35

I'm not aggressive in tone am I? This is just the way I talk. I'm common.

I don't care, that's the thing, that's the honest truth of it. I am chatting with you and I'm enjoying it, I natter away on here and I enjoy it, but I don't care about other people's things that don't affect me (and aren't abusive or illegal, wrong or upsetting them). I mean it doesn't matter to me. I may say something isn't right for me, but I wouldn't care if someone else did it. I wouldn't care enough to have a go at them about their choices (like many do!!)

I am reading my post over and over to see where it could be seen as aggressive because I'm baffled The only thing I can think is my use of the Fword (sorry) or my last sentence which if you read was not directed at you but was me saying what I would say to someone who asked me for my opinion.

The most I would say to someone IF they asked me for my opinion, is

and if you put it in quotes like it should have been

"it doesn't appeal to me, so I won't be doing it, but I don't give a crap if you do, as long as you don't want me to help!"

Then you can see that the last sentence was not me saying I don't give a crap what YOU, the op of this thread, does, but me saying what I would say to someone, iyswim.

Original poster
BeNimble · 26/02/2009 09:52

oh i don't mind the Fword, it's quite handy... guess i'm common too.

i appreciate your chat and i'm not offended, i just picked up an aggressive tone. bearing in mind i am super sensitive after 2 hours sleep.

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfGhosts · 26/02/2009 10:22

I think I'd be supersensitive after 2 hours sleep!

PuppyMonkey · 26/02/2009 10:37

I agree with Hecate, she's fecking bril she is...

dizietsma · 26/02/2009 18:45

Here's why I think some people can't be more open-minded about HE- I think it makes them feel judged.

They think you're HE because school isn't good enough, and that you must think their educational choices for their kids (sending them to school) are wrong. That makes people defensive.

piscesmoon · 26/02/2009 21:48

I don't think that people are open minded on any type of education! Everyone has had some form of education and everyone has an opinion! I think that the difference is that those who HE are more sensitive and defensive, probably because it is more personal. I sent my DSs to a primary school that a lot of people locally considered rough, I considered it excellent so it didn't bother me in the least to get the many rather condescending comments.I think the comprehensive system is wonderful and am anti grammar schools, it doesn't bother me that some people think my DSs have an inferior education-I know they don't. If I sent them to private schools it wouldn't worry me that people were anti. If I were to HE it would be because I thought it was the best so I wouldn't waste my time being defensive. There is no need.

terramum · 26/02/2009 21:54

I agree with dizietsma a little. Some people do take offence & think you are criticising their choice. There's a lot of rubbish spouted about HE from the teaching establishment (unions etc) I think because they think we're doing them out of a job....the 'how can parents teach their children when they've had no training' type comments

I think though,a lot of it just comes down to it being a bit 'weird' and something most people haven't come accross before. Some people don't even know HEing is legal & so are straight away suspicious about it & why you are doing it.

wannaBe · 26/02/2009 22:04

for me personally it's because I don't understand why.

Because I don't believe that a parent with no qualifications really can educate a child in the same way as a teacher who has gone to university for four years and gained the skills to do so.

Because it's not regulated and anyone can essentially say that they are home educating their child and no-one checks on them to ensure that the child is actually receiving an adequate education.

And because there is a huge amount of arrogance surrounding home educating that essentially says that schools are no good and that HE is the only way. You only have to look at the opposition to regulation of home education to see that.

Whatever people choose to do with their children is obviously up to them. But I won't pretend to think it's a good idea because I don't.

GivePeasAChance · 26/02/2009 22:05

Simply because I couldn't be arsed. And I would be doing MORE work that is unpaid and unappreciated.

pagwatch · 26/02/2009 22:12

I think that is an assumption.

i can quite understand why people choose to home-ed ( although face it people Britany Spears and Michael Jackson and the weird boy pop combo didn't help your cause ) but I would not talk to people about it because I don't really care what others do.

But like every other emotional debate it is always about people defendingtheir own choices because they worry.

Anyone who is criticising home ed but does not do it is takingthat position because they feel anyone opting out of the school system implies crticism.
And if you were truly truly comfortable home edding you would not care a jot what others think. If it niggles at you then you are assuming that they are criticisng your choice or you are not as convinced as you would wish to be.
Simple.

gagarin · 26/02/2009 22:18

Nothing to do with home ed or not home ed.

try living where I do and admitting to folk that......

yes - yours kids go to the local comp

and

yes- you actually CHOSE it for them (despite the 35% A-C GCSE attainment...)

and

no - you won't go to church to get your kids into a different school because you don't believe in god....

It's discussing education that narrows the mind and viewpoint..not juts HOME education

piscesmoon · 26/02/2009 22:24

The best thing that HEers could do is to be open and friendly and drop the secrecy and defensiveness. I am happy to talk to anyone about my choices and what I do and they can question my DCs at any time. In comparison many of those who HE are not open to scrutiny and view anyone talking to their DCs with great suspicion. If I was doing it I would be proud! People can't be open minded with something they don't understand.

piscesmoon · 26/02/2009 22:26

I'm glad it isn't just me then gagarin-I find the same-but I'm not bothered by it-neither are DSs.

giantkatestacks · 26/02/2009 22:27

I am sometimes a bit of HE when its done for religious reasons and maybe some people think its always done for that reason maybe?

I have considered it in the past though.

ninedragons · 26/02/2009 22:43

Because people form their opinions about things beyond their personal experience from the media.

And the people who home-educate their children because there were knife fights in the playground and their children were beaten up for being gay don't tend to go on the Discovery Channel - people who teach their children that Noah took dinosaurs on his ark and that Baby Jesus doesn't want them to associate with Arabs and Jews go on the Discovery Channel.

I don't know anyone IRL who home-educates, so yeah, when I hear of someone who does I am more likely to think of religious nutters than a child with an IQ of 170 whose parents pulled her out of school to do university-level physics rather than read Enid Blyton.

Prosecco · 26/02/2009 22:59

I agree with most of what Wannabe says.

We can't all do everything. I couldn't deliver a baby, change the oil in your car, work out your taxes for you, but I could educate your child to a nationally recognised level.........in ONE subject. How HEdders can do it in several is beyond me.

I wouldn't say I'm narrow minded. I agree that there may be many situations where the child benefits form HE.

I am just amazed it can be done to that level.

Runnerbean · 27/02/2009 08:42

why aren't more people open-minded about HE?

Quite simply

they don't know anything about it!

dizietsma · 27/02/2009 09:46

Wannabe, I think you have made a lot of assumptions about HE and the people who do it. That's a shame, but hardly surprising to me.

Another reason I think people are defensive when told about HE is that in their heart of hearts, they know school was horrible for them and is still horrible for kids, but it'd be too much of an upheaval in their lives to stop sending the kids to the state provided free babysitter.

angelene · 27/02/2009 09:52

I agree with Wannabe too. But I would also like to say that it would also drive me round the fucking twist so I'm very much in awe of those who do it successfully.

seeker · 27/02/2009 09:54

It would also be possible to say "Why aren't home edders more open minded about school?"